Credit to Sara Shepard and ABC Family for making PLL.

I don't own or take credit.

Processing the inventory took a bit longer than I expected. Every two weeks I order more stuff. So two weeks before that's what I did. Except I didn't really expect not being open for a week, so I didn't sell the amount of products I usually do before I got more. I had about twice the amount of equipment than I usually have but with my broken wrist and having to teach Aria how it works, we only got through four out of the many boxes of sports equipment I had. So long actually that Aunt Ella ended up calling to see where we went to.

"At the Sports Store mom." She pauses. "Because Mike might need a ride back home and Jessie needed to do inventory. So it was easier just to come here than go home."

I was filling up the bucket of baseballs while she was on the phone. I look over at her and smile. She was pacing out of frustration, then looks over at me and mouths "Oh. My. God." I start to laugh because I understood why she did that. Her mom has a habit on calling for one thing then turns into a fifteen minute conversation. I knew this too well, dad used to do the same thing.

"Okay...yea...mhm." I couldn't help but crack up. It was always funny hearing these types of conversations when someone was on the phone with their parents. Always happens. You're on the phone for whatever amount of time and that's basically what you say through the whole thing. Then end it with a "Love you too. Bye."

She walks over and sits next to me. I was now filling up the soccer ball bucket. "Everything okay?" I ask.

She passes me a couple at a time. "Yea."

"What could she have been boring you with this time?" I half laugh.

"You."

I look at her. "Me?"

She hands me another one. "She wanted to make sure you're okay. Told me to let you know that dad feels bad."

I grab the ball and throw it into the bucket. She passes me another one. This time as I grabbed it I turn my body to her instead of the bucket. She watches me as I looked down at the ball, awkwardly rolling it back and forth. Then I looked back to her. "I saw them die." All the color leaves her face as I finished that sentence. I don't know what made me say it but as I did I felt sick. That was the first time I ever said those words out loud.

She was looking at me like she was lost for words. I didn't blame her, kind of came out of nowhere. We sat there in silence for awhile. It was so quiet that I could feel my heart in my ears. Pounding so fast I thought it would come out of my chest.

I throw the soccer ball into the bucket and start to get up. "Jessie wait." She says as I headed to the hallway. I can hear her running after me "Jessie!" She half yells and grabs my arm, turning me to her. Tears where streaming down my face and she just pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry." She says. I dig my face into her shoulder and cried. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you." I could hear her voice crack.

After a bit I pick my head up. "Aria..." I try to compose myself. "I don't feel good." The room was starting to spin now.

She starts to let go and I almost collapse. "Whoa. Okay." She holds me up and drags me to the bathroom. When we get there she sets me down and I don't waste time as I puke the sandwich I had before I left the Hastings house into the toilet. "I'll go get you some water." She runs over to the office. There's a mini fridge that my dad bought and comes back with a bottle of water. "Here." I take a sip and sit up against the wall, she sits next to me.

My vision was still a bit blurry. It was as if I stood up too fast and couldn't see. But this was not the case and I was a bit scared. I try to calm myself and breathe. But every time I did it was difficult because my chest hurt when I did. It felt like it was caving in.

My face must have given it away. "What is it?" She says. I shake my head and try to talk but nothing comes out. "Jessie?" I put my hand to my chest as it rises and falls too fast for comfort. I look at Aria and see her eyes pop out in fear for a minute. Then just as fast she reacts and pushes me forward. The next thing I know she's sitting behind me and leans me back on her. "Breathe like me." My body starts to tense up from the pain of trying to breathe and I grit my teeth. I feel her fingers slip between mine, squeezing tight. "Feel my chest on your back and repeat the rhythm okay?"

The room starts to get dark. "Can't catch me!" These words echo in my ears as my breathing got slower. Then I see Jeff racing across the monkey bars at the park like he used to when we were kids. When he gets across he turns and smiles back at me. "Come on Jessie. Don't be afraid." I'm standing at the edge, debating if I should go across.

"Breathe Jessie." I hear Aria. Her voice sounded so far away.

"Jessie." Now dad is standing next to Jeff. "It's okay to cross over."

I look behind me, then back to them. "What if I don't want to?"

Mom comes to view and she has a smile. "That's okay too."

"Don't leave me." Arias crying voice comes to me.

A tear rolls down my cheek. "I can't yet."

They all smile. "We'll be here when you're ready." Mom says.

"I love you." Then I turn around and run the opposite way.

The bathroom was coming to view and in the matter of seconds my vision is fully back. Aria has her arms wrapped around me, her phone in her hand. The screen had the numbers 911 on it. She was just about to press the call button when I squeeze her fingers that were still between mine. I look up at her and see her face stained with tears. My breathing was getting back to normal now and she just smiles at me. "You're okay." I take a deep breath and nod. She gives me such a big hug that I couldn't help but laugh a bit. I hug back, not wanting to let go. That was one of the scariest moments of my life. I was pretty convinced that I was about to see my family again.

We sat in that spot for awhile. Not saying anything. I think she was afraid to let go. "I'm sorry." I weakly get out.

She lifts her head off my shoulder and looks down at me. "Why are you sorry?"

"For scaring you."

She shakes her head. "It's okay." I lay my head on her arm. "Your body reacted to something you couldn't handle. You can't control that." I close my eyes, still feeling weak. "Don't scare me like that again."

I take a deep breath. "Wouldn't dream of it."

When I had a bit more energy to stand Aria took the liberty to drive us back to her house. I told her I was fine but she wouldn't hear it. We didn't even get to finish putting away the equipment we started. That's how concerned she was about me. She just moved everything up against the walls in the inventory room and had me lock up so we could leave. Mike had text earlier to let us know that he didn't need the ride, so we went straight to her house and hung around in her room till it was time for dinner.

"So this never happened?" I ask while searching for music on YouTube.

She nods. "Mom and dad will just make you go to the doctor or something. You're not sick. You just had a really bad panic attack." I nod in agreement. "Does that happen often?"

"Not as much as it used to."

"Meaning?"

"It happened a lot after the accident. Just thinking about it would trigger one. Today at Gym was the first time in months."

"When was the last time you talked about it?"

I shrug. "I don't know. It's been awhile."

"How long is awhile?"

"What does it matter?"

"Keeping things to yourself isn't healthy." Sounded like something Spencer would say. "If you don't get things off your mind and let it build up then more than just crying will happen."

I nod. "Right."

She watches me. "Just be careful on how long you stay quiet is all I'm saying. I know it's hard to talk about but especially something like this shouldn't be kept inside for too long."

I think for a bit, then pause the music on her laptop and look at her. "Don't think I'm crazy okay?"

She raises an eyebrow. "Why would I think that?"

"Because what I'm gonna tell you has me even wondering if I imagined it."

"Okay." She says a little concerned.

"When..." I hesitate. "When you were trying to keep my breathing under control at the store I think I left for a little."

"You...left?"

I think, trying to figure out how to explain. "You know how people say when you're on the verge of death you see your life flash before your eyes?" She nods. "Well...it was more than that. I...I actually think I was in between life and death this time."

Her face goes a little pale. Then she recovers. "This time?"

"During the accident I did go through that. I saw my life flash before me. But this time..this time I saw my parents and Jeff." I shake my head. "Not like I was having a memory of the past...it was as if I was right in front of them. They were waiting for me."

She is patient and listens as I told her exactly what I saw. I felt a bit bad because she looked like she wanted to cry. I understood of course. I was telling her something I saw when she was trying to save my life. I have no idea if I passed out and dreamt this but it felt so real. I don't want to admit that I really saw them 'cause that means that I almost died. But I also don't want to admit that it didn't happen because when I saw them it felt amazing.

"What made you stay?" She asks.

"You." She watches me. "I kept hearing your voice as you tried to keep me conscious. I wasn't ready to leave you behind." She gets teary eyed and I hug her.

"I love you." She says.

"Love you too."

"Hey." We both pull away. "Whoa you guys okay?"

We smile and nod. "Fine Mike. Just having a talk." She says.

He nods. "Right. Well...dinners ready."

"Okay." He walks away and we get up.

"Do you believe me?"

She grabs her laptop and puts it to the side. "I believe you saw this but I can't help you figure out if it was real."

I nod. "Don't think it's something anyone would really be able to figure out."

She nods. "Well, don't worry about it. Just live your life. You'll be okay."

Okay was definetly an understatement for today. I had gone through a bit more than I could handle for one day and it was just about to get worse. I have to tell the whole story of the accident to them and it's not going to be an easy task. I'm not even sure how to start.