DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I want it, I do not own Naruto. I am still only borrowing the characters and only making a few battle…I promise to return them in good condition – well, maybe just slightly damaged!

As always – a huge thanks goes to my beta THECOOKIEMONSTER77

Chapter Eighteen:

The Bell Test

You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You try to break me, but you see
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

~Kelly Clarkson~

"You're late!" yelled Naruto accusingly.

Sasuke frowned. "We were all supposed to meet at my house before we came here, why weren't you there? And it had better be a good excuse."

Sai was cool and unruffled at their tones. He calmly said, "My father was having an important discussion with me. I have great news to impart."

"News? What news?"

"I am no longer thirteen years of age."

"Hn, what are you talking about Aho? You cannot change your age."

"As you may remember, my father guessed at my age and made up my birth date after he adopted me. Now he believes that he may have been mistaken due to my hormonal changes."

"Oh Kami, please tell me that you're not going on about the dreams again because I'm gonna puke if I have to hear about one more," groused Naruto.

"There are some things you should keep to yourself Aho," agreed Sasuke.

"No, it is not just that, there is also the fact that I have a man's penis now while you two are still dickless."

Both Naruto and Sasuke turned beet red. Naruto jumped up from the ground and tackled Sai in a rush. He glanced around and upon seeing no one, hissed, "Sasuke's right, there are some things you should keep to yourself… or we'll be forced to kill you."

Sasuke looked down at Sai and cracked his knuckles. "And we'll make it as painful as possible too…"

Sai gave them both a smile as he was released. "You know," he began thoughtfully, "You two have no reason to be upset. You both will experience puberty in time as well. You will most likely have girls attracted to you like I have."

Sasuke scowled, but Naruto perked up. "Girl…? You really think a girl likes you? Who is it?"

"Ino Yamanaka."

"Ino Yamanaka?" asked Sasuke with derision.

Naruto repressed a snort. "Tall, blonde, and beautiful… That Ino Yamanaka?"

"There is only one Ino Yamanaka in this village. She was holding my hand yesterday. I believe that she wants me to kiss her, but I am uncertain as to what I should do to ensure that that is what she really desires from me."

Naruto's eyes lit up and he shared a devious look with Sasuke. "Oh, don't worry my brother… we can tell you exactly what you should do to make sure she likes ya… can't we Sasuke?"

"Indeed…"

~~O~~

After the first hour passed without any sign of their new sensei showing up, Naruto began to have an inkling as to who their sensei was. His increasing suspicions where confirmed when a swirl of leaves announced the arrival of a certain elite jonin.

"Dad!" yelled Naruto, a little shocked and a lot annoyed. "You are our sensei?"

"I am not your father," he instructed, "I am Kakashi Sensei to you while on duty… if you pass my test," said the copy-nin with an eye smile. "Sorry I'm late, but you see there was this poor old man with a cart full of tomatoes that had fallen over…"

Sai and Sasuke rolled their eyes while Naruto interrupted, "Ugh, save it… Why didn't you say anything to me?"

"Mah, it was a surprise?"

"Are you serious about making us do the bell test, da…uh, I mean sensei?" asked Naruto doubtfully. He blushed a little at his slip of the tongue and continued, "We have proved that we know how to work as a team and we trained under a Sannin."

"Yes sensei," agreed Sasuke, "Is this really necessary?"

"Yes, yes," waved Kakashi nonchalantly, "I want to see what you three have become." He took a small clock from his pocket and set it on a stump. "You have until noon to impress me."

Sasuke tensed and readied himself to run or dodge. "Tch, as if we would need that much time to prove ourselves."

"Do we really require an audience, Kakashi Sensei?" asked Sai, indicating the jonin that stood at the edge of the clearing. Asuma, Genma, Hayate, Guy, Ibiki, and Itachi all stood around as if it were a giant party.

"Oi!" shouted Naruto, "Who's guarding the village?!"

"What do you think chunin are for, huh squirt?" answered Asuma with a smirk.

Naruto blushed red at the childish nickname while Sasuke sniggered. "Shut it 'kitten' or I'll give you something to really laugh at," muttered the blonde under his breath.

Sai looked back at the spectators once more and frowned. "Is that…? Are they really eating popcorn?"

Naruto laughed and then gave the other two a smirk. "Well then, let's give them some real entertainment."

Kakashi hit the button on the clock and asked, "Well, what are you all doing still standing here. Are you trying to impress us by imitating mannequins?"

Sai, Sasuke, and Naruto plunged deep into a forest of massive trees and tall grasses; their bodies a blur of motion from the breakneck speed at which they sought to make their escape. Once they deemed themselves far enough away to ensure a few minutes of privacy, they made their plans. Naruto made shadow clones, and Sai began to draw while Sasuke pulled out a roll of ninja wire.

The clones went south…

Like leaves on a tree in an autumn day, they scattered in the wind. Kakashi smiled to himself as he barely detected them to the south of his position. That area was very heavily wooded, so he figured they must be making an attempt at trapping him. Amateurs…

~~O~~

Kakashi silently moved closer to their location. He had already figured out their little trick. "This would fool someone who didn't know them as well as I do."

Henged shadow clones masquerading as the trio lined the trees with paper tags and trip wires. Some were very obvious and some were so subtle, his sharp gaze barely caught them in time to avoid setting them off. "Tricky. Very good boys…"

The bushes on his right made a small dry, rattling sound. He tensed in expectation. A small pair of squirrels came running straight towards him. "Nasty, disgusting, repellent, evil little vermin," he thought with a shudder. Kakashi snatched several shuriken from his pouch and flicked them at the revolting little rats with fluffy tails (aka squirrels).

Instead of a satisfying squeaky little death rattle, there was a pop and a puff of white smoke.

"Brat…!"

"More shadow clones puppy?" he called out. "I had expected better. You're getting predictable." A few papers floated to the earth and ink splashed on top of them where the pair of squirrels once stood. It formed itself into a very familiar set of characters and seconds later, the scent of sulfur hit his nostrils. "Oh crap!" he exclaimed before flickering away at the last minute to avoid the huge chain of explosions which rocked the forest floor and surrounding trees.

Smoke clung to his clothes and leaves stuck in his hair. "Very nice Sai, very nice! My boy had to have a hand in that one as well." He snorted to himself as twenty more squirrels came scampering towards him. Each had a paper tag attached to its body. Bombs burst all around the copy-ninja, yet none came close enough. He easily leapt out of the way as the last one exploded and stomped on the snake that tried to wrap itself around his feet.

"Two years spent training with the legendary Sannin," he scoffed aloud, "And that's the best you three can do…a few bombs hidden in clones and a lot of trip wire?"

A hidden wire that he had been unable to detect snapped tight around Kakashi and held him tight. So, they hid the real one among all the false ones. Very tricky… Now bound, he couldn't move as Sasuke appeared with the end of the wire which he held between to his teeth. The dragon fire jutsu raced along it straight at the jonin.

Just before flames encased Kakashi's body, he switched himself with one of Naruto's clones. He was almost upon Sai when he heard a sound that brought him to a complete standstill and nearly shattered every nerve in his body…Naruto's anguished scream.

That one wasn't a clone?

The copy-nin raced back to the scene where his son lay on the forest floor, writhing in agony. His skin was black on the areas where the burning wire touched him and his clothes were still smoking. Sasuke was desperately trying to revive him…

He pushed the Uchiha out of his way and dropped to his knees beside his boy. "Naruto…? Son…?"

"Dad? I'm…I'm sorry…"

"For what?"

A hand reached up from under the ground at Kakashi's feet at made a grab for the bells. Kakashi rolled out of the way just in time to save the bells from being taken and to avoid the rock-encased fist from slamming into the back of his head.

Sai's earth fist jutsu was impressive, as was his stealth. Kakashi knew that if the genin managed to make contact, he would have to deal with a very powerful hardened punch, while the boy was protected from any kind of retaliation. While unsure if he was yet capable of it yet, the copy-nin knew the weight of the rock could be increased to further increase the punch's destructive power.

"Damn clones…" he muttered as he threw a kunai at the 'injured' yet laughing son of his who vanished in a cloud of smoke. The real Naruto popped out of the ground with a wide grin.

"Almost!" he said with a cheeky grin a second before he cast another jutsu towards Kakashi. This time he used one of his Fuuinjutsu traps. The purple barrier rose up and enclosed the jonin, leaving little space.

Kakashi calmly clenched his fist and concentrated his chakra. The sound of a thousand chirping birds filled his ears. Blinding white light was all that could be seen for a moment before the barrier shattered and he emerged. He had to execute a quick leap into the air as a fast jet of water running through the ground came at him. It looked powerful enough to slice through solid rock if given the chance.

Sai's hands flowed through another series of seals. Kakashi recognized them; Earth Dragon Bomb. Jiraiya must have taught him that one because it was a specialty of his sensei; the Third Hokage. A dragon-like head emerged from the muck that Naruto's water jutsu had previously created. The thick sludge sucked at the bottom of his feet, hindering Kakashi's movement. While the jutsu would normally launch balls of mud at an opponent, Sasuke combined his fire technique with it to shoot searing hot rock towards him.

Every technique they aimed at the copy-nin was useless. They just couldn't touch him. Eventually they found themselves back in the wide meadow where they had begun the bell test. Kakashi grabbed the bells hanging at his waist and gave them a little jingle. "Well kiddies," he taunted, "Are you ever going to take this seriously and get them?"

Naruto growled low in his throat while Sasuke's face twisted into a grimace of irritation. Sai ignored the taunt and studied the surroundings before stepping forward. The three glanced at each other in wordless communication and then nodded.

The boys were fast… a lot faster than Kakashi had been expecting, but still not faster than he was. Sasuke spewed fire onto the Rasengan whirling in Naruto's hand, making it turn black with a ring of flames. He then tried to hit Kakashi with the blazing firestorm, but Kakashi simply substituted himself again. A thick branch of a tree was reduced to ashes.

The silver tips of Kakashi's hair were now black and a burning smell lingered in the air. "What was that?!" he asked in surprise.

"That was my Fire Storm Rasengan. The Pervy Sage taught it to us. Pretty awesome, huh? You wouldn't believe how long it took us to get the right amount of flames into it without it going out."

Kakashi waited for the boys to approach him, curious to see what they would attempt. The most disturbing part of this whole test so far, had been the lack of noise…Naruto's noise. He was usually so loud and brash, but today he had seen very little. It was a bit unsettling. All the jonin watching had to force themselves to stay silent as Naruto attacked first in a blur of motion.

He turned his body and drove the heel of his hand into the Kakashi's throat. He continued the turn with all his weight moving in a single fluid attack, executed a sweeping kick. Like a machine, he struck out three unbelievably fast and furious jackhammer punches. Kakashi vanished – just a clone.

He flipped to a standing position and searched for the jonin. Sai and Sasuke were on either side of the man. Their teamwork was excellent. As one would kick, the other would punch. Kakashi blocked their every move and back-fisted Sasuke.

Sasuke turned with cat-like fluidity and swung his right fist. Kakashi captured the blow with one hand and threw a punch of his own, connecting with Sasuke's hard, flat belly. Then he swung around while the Uchiha was gasping for breath and blocked Sai's chakra scalpels and sent a quick jab to his neck.

Sai stumbled back, putting his hands to his throat, gagging and choking.

Kakashi moved in on Sasuke.

Sai wasn't as badly stunned as he pretended to be. He leapt forward and grabbed the jonin in a bear hug. Kakashi's arms were pinned in Sai's surprising iron hold. He smirked and kicked his legs up, smashing Sasuke's nose and unbalancing the Morino boy with his greater weight.

Naruto created two clones. They all grabbed each others hands while the real Naruto began to spin around faster and faster. Once he gathered sufficient speed, he released them, throwing the clones, spinning in a shuriken-like fashion at Kakashi, who had just managed to extricate himself from both prone genin.

Sidetracked by his clone's sailing bodies, he never saw or felt his sensei until it was too late. A voice murmured in his ear, "A shinobi never turns his back to the enemy." With a cringe and whimper, Naruto heard the name of the most horrifying and humiliating jutsu ever created. A jutsu created probably for the express purpose of mortifying every genin to take the bell test before him.

~~O~~

Asuma watched the test with an amused expression. "I would have thought he go a little easy on them," he remarked as he slowly blew a cloud of smoke into the air.

Guy fist pumped and said loudly, "Yosh, he is simply letting them show off their youthful capabilities!"

"I think I need to have them spar with my team," commented Genma as he crammed a handful of popcorn in his mouth, "It might help my little pupil's teamwork if they had the crap beaten out of them once in a while."

"I don't think your team would survive against them," said Ibiki with a proud smirk. "Hey, I don't think I've ever seen Kakashi do that jutsu before now. What is it?"

~~O~~

"ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!"

He never had a chance.

No chance to escape, no chance to protect himself, no chance to save his pride… Two fingers jammed themselves painfully up his butt and sent him sailing through the air to land in a crumpled heap next to the real Kakashi. Naruto wobbled to his feet and shook himself. "This isn't over!" he shouted angrily and then crossed his fingers in front of his chest and growled low. "Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

The meadow exploded with hundreds of blonde-haired, whisker-faced smirking clones. Kakashi didn't bat an eye. He calmly pulled two kunai from his pouch and twirled them around his fingers. "I have a question for you son…have you ever had so many thoughts in your head that it feels like you might explode?"

Naruto could honestly say he had never felt that way before. He shook his head and yelled, "Come on, sensei, let's finish this!"

"Alright puppy… show me what you've got."

Naruto gave an imperceptible frown at his casual attitude and felt a slight twinge of hesitation. The clones attacked en mass. Kakashi and his clone were so fast, dodging and weaving through the bodies and destroying every single shadow clone they came in contact with. They were stabbed, slashed, kicked, electrocuted, and burned alive.

It became too much for Naruto to process. So many memories of each Naruto's last dying moment filled his mind to the brink. He grabbed his head in pain and uselessly tried to slow the flow of information. Before he could get a grip, hands grabbed his body and threw him to the ground. In another blink of an eye, he found himself hogtied next to his team members. When did they get caught? They each exchanged sour looks with one another while Sai kept mumbling and grumbling something about crazy jonins and psychological profiles.

The long and slightly inventive jumble of words that spewed from Naruto's mouth was almost enough to make Kakashi blush. Sai and Sasuke sniggered in remembrance. Many were the boring, endless days of travel with Jiraiya thinking up new insults to hurl at each other for fun.

"I think Jiraiya may have led you a bit astray if you believe that that is even anatomically possible," replied Kakashi dryly. His eye glinted dangerously as he asked, "And where in the world would you even hear about such things?"

"Oh uh, no where… just around."

"Mah, I guess I'll just have to make you work harder until you remember," Kakashi said seriously. "After all, such profane language coming from the mouth of a Konoha shinobi is really detrimental to our proud image."

Sasuke, Sai, and Naruto's mouths dropped open in shock.

"But Kakashi Sensei, you read porn in public all the time," Sai said.

"It's not porn… it's romance… And besides, I am an adult."

The distant ringing of the alarm clock cut off any further comments and had the three genin turning expectant eyes on their sensei. They waited with bated breath to hear what he would have to say.

"Hmm, I don't know…" he teased while cutting their bindings, "Technically you shouldn't pass since you failed to get the bells."

Sasuke stood up and gave Kakashi an extremely dirty look. He frantically brushed dirt and leaves from his torn clothes in effort to look a little less pathetic in front of his older brother. He muttered to himself, "That's what YOU think."

"But that's not what this test is really about, dad!" argued Naruto hotly, "It's about teamwork."

"Rules are rules and those who break them are scum."

"Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum," quoted the blonde.

Sasuke put his hands on Naruto's shoulder and said tiredly, "He's just trying to mess with us, baka. I say we go to plan B."

Naruto sniggered and nodded enthusiastically. He reached into Sai's pack and withdrew the package he had stored in it the other day. "Okay sensei, we get it." He opened the paper and pulled out a brand new shiny hot pink book.

"Wow, would you look at this; a brand new Icha Icha book that has not even been released to the public."

Kakashi's eye zeroed in and followed the tome as Naruto waved it back and forth while his hands made grasping motions. He sucking in his breath as the boy threw it in the air while standing next to a mud puddle.

Sai stepped closer and grabbed the book from the air. He inspected the cover and announced, "If we truly do not pass, then that means we are no longer genin. If we are no longer genin, then we are no longer considered adults by shinobi standards. This book is banned to all minors."

"He's right Naruto." Sasuke interjected, "We need to destroy it."

"WHAT! NOOO!"

"We have to sensei, oh right – we failed. We have to dad. We know that you are not the type to corrupt the young innocent minds of children…"

"Yes," agreed Sasuke, "That would be really detrimental to our proud image."

"Now now, don't be hasty. I was only kidding. You pass, you all pass. Now be good little students and hand over the precious, I mean book; hand over the book."

Kakashi snatched the book out of the boy's hand, gave Naruto a wink, and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Wait!" shouted Sasuke, "When and where do we meet to…"

"Don't worry teme; I'll let you know as soon as I see him again."

The three gave each other resigned looks when the other jonin who had been watching began their approach. "Aaaand - let the fussing begin…" said Naruto under his breath with a happy grin.

Sure enough, Anko called for her 'angel' to come over, while Naruto cringed as he heard the words 'squirt' and 'midget' used. Guy pounded his back and shouted about the glories of youth and how they should run fifty laps around Konoha to celebrate. Ibiki, Anko, and Sai hurried away followed quickly by Itachi and Sasuke, who were going to train on the Mangekyo.

Naruto looked up at the sky and commented, "Well, would you look at the time! I've really got to be going." In a flash, he too was gone.

~~O~~

It didn't take long for him to find Kakashi. He knew all the man's quiet places. They slowly walked through the village together, enjoying the beautiful peaceful day. Kakashi eventually led them to a small restaurant to grab a quick snack. As soon as they sat down and placed their orders, he asked, "One last thing son… how have your observational skills improved?"

Naruto's eyes never wavered from Kakashi's. He pictured the scene in his head and recited,"There are big windows along the west wall that face out into the street. The hallway leading to the kitchen and bathrooms feed into the dining area from one side. There is a large frosted airshaft window along that wall."

"The lady in the corner drinking tea is either Anbu or ex-Anbu," said Naruto with a confidant look. "I can tell you that the green-eyed waitress is left-handed and the guy at the counter weighs two-hundred and fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know that the best, first place to look for a weapon in this place, besides the kitchen, would be that man sitting at the table across from us because of the slight bulge when he stretches his leg. The couple that just left are married, but not to each other. The cook smells like he drinks while he's working and the woman behind us has been following us since we left the training grounds."

"Explain."

"First off, the kunoichi has been studying everyone and everything in this place without appearing to. She has positioned herself for optimum defense. She reminds me a lot of you which is why I think Anbu. The waitress has quite a few scars on her left hand. It's common for the predominate hand to receive the most injuries. The same goes for the man at the counter, who is right handed, he has very rough looking knuckles, which tell me that he fights a lot, plus his nose has been broken at least twice. I've already told you about the weapon strapped to the man's leg, probably a knife; a long one. The couple that just left were both wearing rings, but they kept looking around as if they were afraid of being seen together. I couldn't smell fresh alcohol, but the sour smell of it, as if it's been sweated out. It could be that the cook got really drunk last night, but I don't think so."

"And this woman who has been following us today?"

"She smells like jasmine. I've smelled it ever since we left the training grounds. I think she is a fan girl."

"Why do you think that?" he asked, amused at the boy's response.

"Because I purposely let her hear me. She blushed and ran out just now."

"Not bad son. Not bad at all. Why didn't you mention the kid that has been following us all day?"

"Please dad," Naruto scoffed, "That's just Konohamaru. I didn't mention him because a civilian could spot him… a blind civilian."

~~O~~

As the two walked home, Naruto stiffened a little and then asked, "Hey dad, when are our guests supposed to leave? The exams are over."

Kakashi, also seeing the watchful figure on the roof, frowned a little. "Not soon enough. They are waiting on one of their teammates to recover in the hospital first before returning to Sunagakure."

Black rimmed eyes stared after them long after they passed from his line of sight. They witnessed some very interesting things… the hatred of villagers as they looked upon the Jinchuriki host, the acceptance of several others, and The Man.

…

…

…the man that willingly put his hands on the boy's shoulders…

…

…

…the man that didn't shy away from the boy's touch…

…

…

Why?

…

…

AN:

Thanks to everyone that has favorited/followed/commented on my story. Hopefully, everyone enjoyed my take on the bell test. So did the boys seem too strong, too weak, or just right? What I was going for is strong, but not god-like. Let me know how I'm doing. I appreciate any feedback (as I've said many, many, mant times - action is not my stong suit!).

I have to say, I was pretty surprised a the the positive feedback I received from the last chapter. I didn't think it would be received so well, but I posted it anyways because I felt the boys really needed to take the time to deal with their guilt and grief. I'm not really going to go into it again, but just know that it will always be there... a small shadow in their hearts... a scab...

To my unnamed guest reviewer about Tora - yes, I read that fic too. It was brilliant and I truly wish I had thought it up. It is The Lives Worth Saving by cywsaphyre. I love that idea, but any attempt to use it in my own way wouldn't work...it was just too great.

Also - big thanks to my other guest reviewers: stephanie, thelastshanghai, Gamma89, Lazuli, and unnamed guests.

P.S.

Has everyone seen episode 330, the tailed beast counting song?! SQUEE! Love it!

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST