Chapter XIX | Christian's POV
I can't believe she did that to me, fuck that felt so amazing. We gaze at each other for a few seconds before she does the most shocking and sexiest thing I have ever seen. She bends down and licks me clean. After she's finished, she gives the tip of my dick a soft kiss.
I sigh, fulfilled. Standing up, I pull my boxers and pants back up and I stare at her, and we go silent once again, a comfortable silence though. I break the silence by saying the most awkwardest thing ever.
''Thank you.''
She looks like she's trying to suppress a smile. ''No, thank you.''
She walks up to me and gently places her hand on my cheek, while looking over my face. I lean into her touch.
''Perfect.'' She whispers.
''Yes you are.'' I reply.
She shakes her head and looks down, she seems upset that I said that, I decide to change course.
''Do you want me to...'' She looks back up at me and raises and eyebrow. ''Um do you want me, to..'' I clear my throat. ''Go.. down on.. you?'' I ask, nervously. I've never done it to any other girl, but I so desperately want her to be my first, my first for everything.
She giggles, fuck I love that sound. ''I'm okay, Christian, really.'' She reassures me.
''I forgot to tell you that you look beautiful.'' I say.
''Thank you. This was the only decent thing I had, plus... I don't feel like partying.''
''We can bail?'' I offer. ''Mia has these parties often, we can go somewhere else if you want.''
She looks at me confused, ''you would do that for me?''
''I'd do anything for you.''
Eye to eye, gazing. Silence.
''Plus when I drink, it's not... something you would wanna see.'' I joke, trying to ease the tension.
She smirks. ''I would like that very much.''
I wanna smile, so fucking badly.
''We can stay here, in my room until the party starts, and then we'll ditch, okay?''
She nods.
''Are you hungry?''
''Hmm, kinda, but I think I've got my fill of something already.'' She teases, with a twinkle in her eyes.
I widen my eyes at her comment and this causes her to laugh; even her laugh is beautiful. Though, I do have a feeling that she doesn't laugh much. Which saddens me deeply.
I decide to tease her back, ''so when will I get my fill of you?''
She gasps softly, blinks a couple times, and a little 'v' forms between her eyes; God shes adorable.
I walk towards her slowly, and I can sense the change in her breathing. I look down at her chest, and it's rising and falling, hard.
Is she turned on?
I grab her face with both of my hands, gently. ''Anastasia..'' I whisper.
Her eyes flutter before closing; she's turned on by me.
Why do I feel so joyous?
''What are you doing to me, Anastasia?'' I softly ask her, and she leans her head to the side, as if she's silently telling me to kiss her neck.
I lean in and kiss her neck, ''I wish you would tell me how I make you feel.''
Kiss— ''I wish you felt what I feel when I'm around you'' —Another kiss.
She moans softly, ''I do.'' She whispers back.
''Do you, baby?''
She nods, still flustered.
''Do you want me to touch you?'' I ask while I kiss her cheek, working my way to her lips.
''Christian, please, no..'' She moans.
''Why not baby..''
''You deserve someone better than me..''
I stop kissing her and I look at her face, ''open your eyes, Ana.''
She opens them, ''You deserve someone better than me too Ana, but I'm a selfish guy, and I don't think I could stand seeing you with someone else, other than me.''
''I'm a monster.''
''No you're not.'' I reply.
She looks at me for a second before asking me, ''why are you still a virgin?''
I shake my head, ''My haphephobia.''
''I'm a ruined girl, Christian..'' I see tears welling up in her eyes.
''Let me help you, Ana.''
''How? How do I let you help me?'' She asks.
I grab both of her hands and entwine our fingers together; they fit perfectly. ''We can start off by getting to know each other. No secrets.'' I say. ''Leave this party with me, and I'll show you how, we can go wherever you want.''
''My mom and dad are going out tonight, can we just to my place..'' She says.
''Of course, we can order in and talk, like normal people...''
''I'm not normal, nor do I know how to be; I lost that opportunity when—'' She trails off, and shakes her head.
''I don't know how to be normal either, we can learn together.''
''What if I don't wanna be normal?''
I smile, ''Then we can be weird and twisted together, I don't care.''
She giggles and gives me a cute ass smile.
''You don't know how beautiful you are to me, Anastasia. It amazes me.''
''If I tell you my secrets, you'll think otherwise.'' She looks away, avoiding my stare.
I grab her chin to make her face me.
''I'll never think otherwise.''
She grabs my hand and kisses my palm, ''Neither will I, Christian Grey, neither will I.''