Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks to katmom and Angelinia, who beta this story.

Chapter Seventeen

Reading New Moon Part Two

"Bella, love, are you okay?" Edward asked, for Bella hadn't moved for the last five minutes.

"I'm afraid..." Bella admitted in a soft voice.

"I know," Edward kissed the top of her head and then looked over at the clock. "Your dad will be home in a few hours anyways... why don't you make dinner... try to relax..."

"I don't know if that's possible," Bella sighed, "but you're right, maybe I won't look like a wreck by the time Charlie gets home if I stop now."

"I'll make sure you don't," Edward said softly, and then leaned so his head was next to her, she could feel his cool lips inches away from her and she turned to kiss him. Her heart raced and all thoughts of the book left her as long as Edward's lip was on hers. Though he pulled away soon after that a smug smile on his face, he had done enough to allow her to do what she must.

She made beef stroganoff, knowing that Charlie liked it. She hadn't forgotten the care her dad had shown her in the book already and she wanted to do something nice for him. When Charlie came home he smiled at the smell that filled the house and seemed to be in good enough mood to have a rather chatty dinner for the two of them (for Edward had chosen to wait in Bella's room).

When Bella got back up to her room she was in a much better mood than she was earlier this afternoon, she was able to convince herself that it didn't really matter how bad she got in this book, because it would never happen in this reality. She was going to have a glimpse of what her life would be liked without Edward in it and that was terrifying but she was never going to have to actually live through that so it was okay.

"Feeling better," Edward observed immediately, his smiled seemed to be more genuine than it was earlier.

"Yes," Bella said and soon after that she was sitting in her bed with Edward's arms around her and the book was in front of her. She sighed before opening and then frowned when she saw there was only one word on the page. October.

She flipped the page... November.

She flipped another page and groaned... December.

And the next... January.

"I didn't do anything... anything at all for months!" Bella said in a slightly panicked voice. She could feel Edward's arm tighten around her, it must have been hard for him to read that the first time, but she wasn't thinking of only Edward's reactions. She had just seen today how much even the small things seemed to make her dad happy... she worried about how hard it would be on him if she did nothing for days... weeks... months. She shivered but then force herself to read on.

It didn't make her feel any better, she was right to worry, it was clear that Charlie was going beyond worried about her if he'd suggest that she go back to her mom. Of course she didn't talk about this with him, but she knew that he liked having her here and that it would have to be drastic for him to want her to go away.

She didn't care much that she hadn't really spoken to her friends during the time that Edward was gone... It didn't make her feel that guilty, besides the fact that she knew that she must have made Angela worry. However, discovering that she had become a zombie was disturbing, though again, it didn't bother her as much as her book self... after all she knew it was never going to happen.

However, something did catch her attention in this chapter. Her head snapped towards Edward as soon as she read the characteristics of the voice.

"It's your voice... are you there?" Bella said hopefully, but knowing it wasn't that when she noticed Edward amused and yet annoyed expression. Neither of those expressions would have been present if he was really there.

"Nope," Edward said, amusement was winning now as Bella realized what was happening than.

"I'm hearing voices," Bella groaned.

Edward chuckled at that, "only one."

"Well that makes me feel better," Bella grumbled, but she leaned back into Edward's chest. Somehow, though it was kind of embarrassing it was nice to know that her book self could still hear Edward, even if it was just a figment of her imagination. "Is this how you really would have reacted if you were there?"

"Yes, for the most part you get my reactions down well," Edward chuckled.

"So I'm going to hear your voice more in this book," Bella said, curious how that was going to work. Bella then started to read and listened to the reason why her book self thought that she would hear the voice. She frowned; neither reason seemed to be good enough for her.

"Of course you would be bothered," Bella muttered to herself, but of course Edward heard.

"You're under the impression that I don't," Edward sighed, it was so difficult hearing she believe that with certainty in these books. How could he ever not love her?

"Well, then, I am crazy," Bella grumbled.

"Well, maybe..." Edward agreed with a smile, though it didn't touch his eyes.

"Jerk!" Bella huffed, trying to keep her own eyes playful. "But I think that I can hear your voice because I know that you don't want me to be hurt... subconsciously I know what it would do to you if I was ever hurt."

"Maybe," Edward said, smiling more genuinely.

Bella smiled now, knowing this was all hurting him as much it was hurting her, so she quickly went back to reading. She finished the rest of the chapter as quickly as she could, knowing that it wasn't quick enough for him not to read about the pain she was in too. She tried to stop herself from cringing at the pain she felt, taking relief that with his cold arms around her waist it prevented her from empathizing too much with her book self. He was never going to leave her!

The title of the next chapter bothered her, she knew it couldn't mean what it sounded like, there was no way that she would cheat on him even if he wasn't there, he was still the only one that she would ever want. So what did it mean?

She felt it was odd that the book mentioned the hikers and the bear... a giant mutant bear if the hikers were to be believed... but she didn't put much into that as she continued to read. She had to stop herself from cringing again when her dreams was mentioned and along with it the pain that they caused her. I won't go through this, she keep reminding herself, and Edward doesn't need to know how much this is affecting me.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered when Bella couldn't stop the shiver that the description of her clenching her sides caused.

"Edward... are you sure you want to be here?" Bella whispered to him, she didn't like the look in his eyes at the moment. He was guilty and sad. Guilty for the pain he will never cause her and the pain that he was putting her through now.

"Yes," Edward said, his eyes lighting when he looked at hers. He knew he had to control himself better from now on; he couldn't let her know how much this had affected him. She needed him and he wasn't going to leave her... not even if it was just to read these books... he was not going to leave her.

Bella sighed and then continued reading.

"Motorcycles!" Bella exclaimed. She had called motorcycles kismet... she really had gone insane. "What am I thinking?!"

"Don't ask me," Edward said, amused by her reaction. "I take this means you don't want to get a motorcycle now."

"Are you kidding me, I much too afraid to do that," Bella said shaking her head. "Besides, I could just ride you if I wanted the feel of flying..." she stopped there, his smiled made her blush, and she realized how her words could have been taken. "You know what I mean..." she mumbled still blushing, which caused him to laughed. "Jerk."

"Sorry," Edward said, still chuckling. "And I'm glad to hear that you don't want to ride those bikes."

Bella continued to read after that, and was kind of happy when she found out that she was going to go to Jacob, if there was someone that would keep her from returning back to being a zombie, it was Jacob. However, she wasn't blind to the fact that Edward was tense again, and it was clear he didn't like her (the Bella in the room) enthusiasm about reading about her friend. She knew why immediately of course, it was clear the Jacob in the book liked her more than just in a friendly way. She sighed, she could tell just by this chapter that this was going to be a reoccurring theme and she was afraid what was going to come of it.

She moved on to the next chapter and she didn't know exactly how to feel. She did like hearing about her friend, and most of the time the relationship between her book self and Jacob was the way she felt. However, she cringed whenever it was mentioned that Jacob had feelings towards her now. She tried to think of Jacob every acting that way to her in the reality they were now living in. She couldn't, he had always just been a friend to her... he never said or did anything that made her think that he might like her more than just a friend.

However, when she looked at Edward she wasn't sure if that was completely true. Was it more than Jacob's near transformation earlier today – the thought made her shiver as she wondered if he really was a werewolf now or not – that prompted Edward to want her to read about the future.

"Edward? Bella asked, she had just finished reading about her hysterical laughter with Jacob as they were about to have a party with the Clearwaters, Billy and Charlie.

"Yeah?" Edward said, looking confused, obviously he couldn't see what she would have to bring up at that particular spot.

"Why did you want me to read this book so urgently today?" Bella questioned. "What are you afraid of happening?"

Edward sighed, and brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Are you... jealous?" Bella questioned, the word sounded odd coming out of her mouth. As far as she was concern there was no reason for Edward to be jealous.

"Hm..." Edward said halfway between a groan and thoughtful. "I don't know if jealous is the right word... I'm not sure what word I could use. All I know is that I don't want this to happen... anything in this book and the next to happen, so I needed you to know this."

"So this does have something to do with Jacob... um... liking me? Liking me that way... right now... in our life?" Bella said, again feeling odd, it just didn't seem right to her.

"Yes," Edward confirmed and then tacked on grudgingly, "though to be completely truthful... all I really know is that he thinks you're beautiful."

Bella blushed uncomfortable at that. It was odd to think that anyone but Edward thought of her that way, and she didn't want Jacob to. What would it do to their friendship if he liked her like that; could they really be friends if that was the case?

"Just keep reading Bella," Edward sighed and Bella did as he said her mind still on this matter.

"The bear again?" Bella raised an eyebrow, she didn't like that it was being mentioned so much. "Tell me it's not really a werewolf, Edward."

"Sorry... I can't," Edward sighed.

"Why are they being sighted?" Bella mused to herself, as far as she knew now, Sam and Jared patrolled the forest around La Push and whichever else land they could look over that didn't intersect with the treaty with the Cullens. They had never been sighted in the months that she had known about them, why would they be sighted now?

She finished the chapter feeling a little sad that she had indeed cause Angela to worry about her like she thought, but it didn't make her pause to carry on to the next chapter. She didn't like how it started. She didn't want to think about the Cullens' house without them in it... didn't want to think of them just disappearing and never being there. It really wasn't a good idea that she had gone there.

It was just as disturbing the way that she ran back to Jacob. The relationship she had with that Jacob wasn't exactly healthy. She could tell the fact that she had constantly been seeing him, that she would see him everyday... smiling and happy to be around him was only encouraging him to like her. She felt horrible that her book self didn't stop doing that knowing that Jacob was only going to be hurt by this in the end. And surely it hurt Edward to have to read about this.

"I shouldn't have gone to him like that," Bella groaned.

"Don't say that," Edward said, "you didn't have a choice... it was the only way for you to deal with your pain."

"And that makes it okay," Bella moaned, how could she be that selfish. How could she hurt her friend, just so she wouldn't have to hurt as much? It wasn't right.

"No, but I'm sure Jacob would prefer it to seeing you in pain," Edward said, not adding that he felt the same way, but she knew he meant that, too.

"It still doesn't make it right," Bella groaned; there was nothing Edward could say that would make this okay. She was using her friend again and it wasn't fair to him.

She could still see similarities between the friendship she had with Jacob at times. She certainly did feel like she could be more like a kid when Jacob was around… not quite as irresponsible as her book self, but not quite as mature as she was most of the time. And she was almost happy at the part where he opened up to her and told her about the 'cult'. It felt like something that Jacob would do now.

However, two things about this disturbed her:

"Embry is going to be a werewolf, too," Bella groaned she had seen Embry (and Quil) a few more times when she had visited Jacob and she hated to think of the boy going through all this, too.

"Yes... and he won't be the last," Edward sighed.

"I don't like the sound of that," Bella groaned but she didn't ask who else would be turned. The other thing that disturbed her was that her book self knew that Jacob wanted more than friendship and she still didn't do anything to keep him away... tell him that she wasn't available.

She went on to the next chapter, and didn't like the fact that she really was going to be riding the bikes. She was stunned at first that she was hearing Edward's voice again, but she knew she shouldn't have been surprised. She knew it wasn't repetition that made the voice come as her book self seemed to think, but it was danger. Edward spoke to her when she was in danger and the motorcycle was very dangerous for her.

That was proven a few sentences later when she had crashed. She hated that she took her injury so lightly, that she didn't even care that Jacob was worried about her, that all she wanted was to hear Edward's voice again. She didn't like what her book self was doing... and danger she was in... how it caused her whole world to crumble. She'd already known that she couldn't survive without Edward, but she wouldn't have imagined any of this would have happened. Before reading this she tried her hardest never to think about this and now that she was reading it she was trying to remind herself that it would never happen. She was never going to feel this empty... she was never going to feel the need to cling to Jacob so much... she wasn't going to hurt Jacob and Edward like that.

She sighed when she read about her attempts at to going to the meadow. It was a disaster waiting to happen. She knew the meadow was a magic place for her, and it will always be that way, but that was because Edward was there. He was what made it magical.

The next chapter had her feeling uncomfortable again. What was it supposed to mean by third wheel? Oh great, it meant a date with not only Jacob but Mike, too.

She didn't like that she couldn't put some distance to between herself and Jacob, she didn't like that she had allowed Mike to think that it was a date for a few seconds and she really didn't like that she had called Jacob a kid just to appease Mike. What was she doing? Why did she have to be so nice?

Then Mike was gone, sick in the bathroom and Jacob was confessing his feeling to her. She was trying to turn him down, Bella was happy that her book self was at least trying, but it wasn't enough. Jacob was too stubborn and she needed him too much to do the right thing.

Before she knew it, she stopped carrying about her actions, for she could tell what was happening to her friend. He was a werewolf now! How was that going to affect their relationship in the book?

The next chapter showed that it wasn't going to be a pleasant change. He was going to avoid her. She knew from experience that it would be hard not to talk to him for an extended period of time, she remembered the month where she had barely said a word to him because of the Quileutes reaction to Jacob knowing about the Cullens, and she knew it would be worse for her book self. She was definitely not handling being alone well.

She hated that she was going to the woods alone, trying to find the meadow in hopes to hear Edwards voice. She hated to hear about the predictable pain she had when she got there. But, that was nothing to what she felt when someone was at the meadow too.

"Who is it?" Bella said, unable to keep the question from coming, for she knew it couldn't be a normal hiker and it wasn't any of the Cullens.

"Laurent," Edward said, his voice was stiff.

Bella swallowed, Edward had said that he had killed Victoria and James in this reality, and that she didn't have to be afraid of them anymore. However, Laurent was still alive and as far as she knew still at Tanya's place in Alaska.

"He won't hurt you, Bella," Edward said, seeming to see how worried she was.

Bella nodded her head and continued reading. When she got to the part about cheating, she looked back at Edward. "He's going to try and kill..."

Edward hissed at this, his body was tensing now, she hadn't felt him react to anything in the last chapters, she was sure that was because he didn't want to affect her, but he was tense now.

"This is just making me want to go to Alaska and rip his head off," Edward said through gritted teeth. "I can't believe that I let him live... what if..."

"Edward," Bella said, finding it odd that she could switch sides on her argument so quickly. "Have you spoken to Tanya and Irina recently?"

"Yes," Edward sighed, "and they said that Laurent was progressing... obviously it was Tanya that said this. She was convinced that Laurent's eyes were turning amber now."

"What's the matter?" Bella questioned.

"They should already have been golden," Edward said, "he had enough time for them to go all the way... he's still slipping... cheating..."

"Edward, not everyone's perfect," Bella sighed, trying not to think of what slipping and cheating meant. "And it's has to be hard for someone to give up something like that..." she trailed off for she had no idea what it was like for vampires to drink blood... and how much a difference it is to hunt animals instead of humans.

"I know," Edward sighed. "I just... reading this makes me think of what might happen... and I can't stand that."

"I know, Edward," Bella said, "but this won't happen."

"Okay," Edward said, allowing Bella to read more.

Bella sighed in relief when the wolves showed up and snorted when she heard her thoughts of them. Not the part where she worried if they could handle Laurent or not, for she wasn't sure how strong the wolves were, but she knew how strong Vampires were. Edward assured her that they would have no trouble whatsoever when they were outnumbering Laurent like they were. No, what she was snorting at was her thoughts of the wolves turning on her. Of how she looked at the one wolf and thought of Jacob. She didn't have to ask Edward for confirmation; she knew it had to be him.

She was now curious to see the wolves up close, she had only heard the story and she thought it would be interesting to see if they were really as terrifying as the book made them seem to be. She read the rest of the chapter, understand the panic that her book self would be in. Meeting a vampire that wanted to kill her... hearing about another vampire, one that though her book self was more worried about (and she would have been more worried about too if she knew that the wild woman wasn't already died), was after her too. That there were giant wolves that for all her book self knew was after her. Yes, she could understand her book self's panic, but she couldn't empathize with it.

She, however, didn't like reading the part where she involved her dad, causing him to share in her fear. She knew it was right that she did this, for all she knew in the book the wolves were dangerous, but she still wished that Charlie didn't have to be involved at all.

The next chapter was hard to read. Again she didn't like how she was dealing with Jacob, how dependent she was on him. The first half of the chapter was fine to her. Of course she would confront anything to help her friend out. For her book self point of view Jacob was in danger and she was going to try to save him. It wasn't going to work so she was already worried about what was going on. She was shocked to see how much he changed after he turned. She was sort of afraid whether the Jacob that she has been friends with would change that much too. Would he be that bitter?

"Do you think Jake will be like this?" Bella asked Edward after she read his description in the book.

"Well, physically I would think, yes," Edward said, "mentally I can't say what will happen. Jacob knows what he is going to become... he has had months to prepare himself for this. I think that can only help him. As for the way he's acting right now..."

"I haven't got that far yet," Bella stalled him.

"Well," Edward said, sighing, "then I'll just say don't judge him too harshly."

Bella raised an eyebrow at him. "You're trying to defend Jacob... when you were so jealous just a moment ago that you practically forced me to read this book."

"I said it wasn't exactly jealousy," Edward mumbled, looking amused and annoyed all at once. "And I owe a lot to the book Jacob... as you can see he's already saved you once, not to mention for all he did to keep you from falling apart completely... I know you think you were using him, and were being selfish, but that doesn't mean I can't still be grateful for what he did."

"Even when he was trying to steal your girl from you," Bella said.

"Bella," Edward said dramatically, "don't you understand me at all..."

Bella shook her head at his reaction, but she thought she knew what his reasoning was.

"I want you to be happy Bella... I couldn't stand the way months flew by and you didn't do anything, I didn't like that you felt like you had a hole in your chest and it ached whenever you thought about me," he said, his face showing his feelings for the first time while reading this book. "I don't like seeing the small phantom of pain you're feeling while reading this book... and I'm sorry that I force you to read this.

"I don't want anything like this to ever happen, but that doesn't mean I can't be grateful that Jacob helped you. And at the same time want to rip the mutt's head off," he added chuckling.

"Edward!" Bella chastised.

"Sorry... but it's true," Edward said. "You should talk to Jasper about it... he can tell you how bad I was."

"I'll do that," Bella said, reading the book again.

The fight she had with Jacob made her cringe, not about anything Jacob said of course, he was just trying to protect her and his people's secret. She didn't like what she said in the book, though. How could she say that they were breaking up when they weren't going out? How could she have called their relationship greater than any school yard romance? It might be true... but you really shouldn't think of a friendship like that. She also hated that she was so hurt by Jacob's words that she felt another hole in her chest...

She hated seeing the pain she put Charlie though too, but couldn't help but smile at how much he looked after her. Calling Billy and trying to defend her like he had. Hm, she was going to have to think of another way to show her appreciation to her dad tomorrow...

"It's getting late, Bella," Edward said as she was about ready to start the next chapter. "And I think this is a good stopping place."

"What, you mean were I'm in pain and there's someone trying to get into my house?" Bella exclaimed.

"Yep," Edward chuckled and then adding, "honestly it's just Jake."

"Fine," Bella sighed, and she didn't really mind that much, she wanted to think all this through. She wonder what she was going to do with this whole Jacob thing, wondering if he really did like her now too, and knowing that she couldn't act as she did in the book. Would it be enough for Jake to see that she was happy with Edward?

She drifted off to a sleep as she mused about this, her dreams filled with empty forest and eery lights. Then she would see Jacob's changed face glaring at her, hostility in his eyes. That didn't last long though, it seemed like all at once everything started to get better and she was sleeping soundly.

Edward on the other hand had been whispering things to her as he heard her nervous mutterings. He hoped he was helping, that she knew even in her dreams that he was there for her, and was rewarded when she relaxed in his arms and snuggled closer to him.

The next morning Bella woke up early, and barely twenty minutes later she was reading again.

The next chapter was read though quickly, it was mostly saying things that she had realized long ago, though the ending where she thought the wolves were killers was different. She quickly moved on to the next chapter and almost laughed out loud with the misunderstanding she and Jacob had. Though her book self had brought up a good question.

"Do you still think I would have fallen in love with you if you killed people?" Bella asked looking at him curiously, she couldn't imagine not loving the man whose arms she was sitting in.

"No, we never would have been able to get this close if that was the case," Edward said.

"Edward, you know I wasn't talking about whether or not you were able to be close to me," Bella said.

"So you mean if I could be around you like I am now, but I would go off and hunt a few humans ever couple of weeks," Edward said and the way he said it made Bella shivered. "No... I wouldn't be me if I did that... part of the reason you love me is routed in the fact that I'm trying to be better than the monster that I am..."

"That you are better than the monster you think you are," Bella corrected.

"My point exactly," Edward smiled. "You can't take that fact away without changing everything I am. Unless you're saying that you only like me because I look good..."

"Well, you are pretty damn hot," Bella said smirking this time.

"Um... and here I always thought I was cold," Edward said with a puzzled expression.

Bella rolled her eyes but kissed him before she read on.

The next chapter was familiar to her again, she had been around Sam, Emily and Jared enough to already have gained all of the observation that her book self had.

When she got to the next chapter she couldn't help but tense up. She could feel that her cliff diving idea wasn't good. The closer she got to it... the desperate way that she went to the cliff... the more she felt like this was a horrible idea. The argument with Edward before she jumped really made her shudder, she could hear how he would try to plead with her, try to keep her safe... but it wouldn't be enough.

"I'm sorry," Bella said putting the book down after she finished that chapter, curling up in Edward's arms. He was rather happy that she did that, because he did feel the need to hold her like this. Her words, the need she had to be near him, the struggle that she went through, all it made him feel like his heart was breaking.

"I'm sorry," Edward repeated the words back at her. They stayed like that for a while, feeling no need to rush to read more of the book. Bella did pick up the book again though, reading on, knowing already that she had to have been rescued from the water for there was so much left of the book to read. Of course it was Jacob who had saved her, he was always the one that saved her, now. She hoped that wouldn't be the case for long though, for she wanted her real hero... her angel to be the one that came to her rescue in the future.

Bella didn't like this chapter at all, she didn't like when Harry was mention, knowing he wasn't going to make it. She didn't like when she was reminded how hard Charlie would have taken it if she had died as well... She knew it wouldn't be as bad as Edward would have, but Charlie wouldn't have recovered from her death... not ever.

She didn't like that she was thinking about Paris, not as in the city in France as she hoped it would be, but as the character in Romeo and Juliet. Argh, how could she honestly even try to consider trying to settle down with anyone that wasn't Edward? How could she let Jacob get stuck with a person that would always love another man more than him? It just wasn't right.

"Why am I thinking this?" Bella demanded of Edward.

"Bella, you know I'm the one that should be confused about this," Edward said. "I don't know what you're thinking... well except for the fact that the book is telling us what you are thinking..."

"It's all wrong," Bella grumbled. "Even thinking that I could be happy with Jacob..."

"I don't know if that is entirely wrong," Edward argued and Bella glared at him, "I'm merely pointing out that this book is proof that you can be marginally happy with him..."

"Yeah, as long as I'm running after my delusions of you!" Bella huffed. "Who knows how I would react with him after I stop trying to hear your voice... and that's the only clear thing my book self said in this chapter... that I had to stop putting myself in danger..."

"True," Edward said, snapping Bella from her rant.

"Edward, I don't know what would happen to me if I no longer tried to remember you," Bella said.

"No, we don't," Edward agreed with that. "But Bella, at this point what choice do you have but try to be happy with Jacob... I could never blame you for..."

"Stop that Edward, it hurts to hear you say that," Bella said.

"I'm sorry," Edward said pulling her closer to him.

"It's wrong to be with him like this too, even if I learn to love him... it would never be enough," Bella continued. "He deserves someone that could love him with her full heart, not with whatever pieces she has left."

"You can't choose who you love, Bella," Edward sighed, sadly.

"Hm..." Bella said thoughtfully and she wasn't quite sure what Edward meant by that and chose not to ask him. She continued reading and was smiling by the time she got to the end of the chapter. A vampire... or more importantly a Cullen... was at her house. She knew who she wanted it to be, but was sure she was wrong... still why would any of them be at her house when Edward had told them to stay away from her?

"It's Alice," Bella said, as she started the next chapter and then read on until she gasped, "She can't see the werewolves! I didn't know that!"

"Sorry... I didn't think of it," Edward chuckled.

"She thought I was dead... that must have been so hard on her," Bella groaned as she comprehended what that meant. Edward didn't say anything, knowing that Bella was right, but also knowing what was going to happen when he thought she was dead. Bella wasn't going to be too pleased with him then.

Bella curled more securely into Edward as she listened to when Charlie explained that he had seen all of the pain that she had gone through. How much he seemed to know her. And then she listened to Alice explain about her family. She could tell that Alice didn't really want to talk about it, but she had to ask Edward if she had tried to find out more about her family.

"No," Edward frowned, "I don't think she really wants to know more about them right now..."

"That's kind of sad," Bella sighed.

"Yes," Edward said sadly, "but at least she has us, we're her family."

"That's right," Bella smiled before reading more.

She didn't really like the stiffness that was in her relationship with Jacob, she hoped that Jacob would never get that bitter about the Cullens... that he wouldn't learn to hate them when he transformed. She didn't think that was going to happen, he would still be Jacob after he changed after all, but he might look at things different when he was actually a werewolf.

And then she was back to almost kissing Jacob... what the hell was that about. Alice was back... things were going to get better. She knew that they had to. Alice would tell Edward that she was broken without him and he would come back. Why the hell couldn't she just take a breath for ten minutes and think this all through? Why did she have to be so damn blind about how Edward felt about her?

And then the phone rang and everything was happening in a flash. Alice was back, she was telling her they had to leave... she was panicking and Bella felt her heart start to race as she realized what must have been happening. And then Alice said it.

"Edward!" Bella said in shock, but there was pain and anger in her voice too. "What are you doing?"

"I'm watching you read a book," Edward tried to sound innocent.

"You're going to Italy to get yourself killed!" Bella corrected and the preface came to her mind and she knew what it meant now. She was going to have to run and save Edward from that danger.

"Bella, don't look at me like that," Edward sighed, bowing his head. "My book self had just learned that he lost the only thing in the world that really mattered... Not only that, but he thinks that you had jumped of the cliff to kill yourself... what other options did he have..."

"Hmph," Bella huffed, but she couldn't think of anything to say about that. "Does it matter that I would never want you to die..."

"It wouldn't change my mind," Edward sighed, "but I'm never going to lose you so it's not important."

"Not important," Bella groaned and then continued to read to see how much it didn't matter that he was going to this Volturi, whoever they were, to kill himself.

She couldn't help but be very anxious about what was coming; there was no complete grantee that Edward would be safe. She felt there wouldn't be a need for two more books if anything happened to him, but she couldn't be sure. She read the next chapter so fast that she didn't even pay much attention to what was being said, she just wanted to get to the part where she would see Edward again. She did note that Alice had agreed to make her a vampire even if Edward didn't approve, and that Alice was afraid of the Volturi... whoever they were, they were enough to cause Alice – and the rest of the Cullens – to be afraid. This of course only made her nerves worse; she didn't even notice that the car that Alice was driving in this chapter was the one that Alice now owned.

"It looks like Jasper owes Emmett a new motorcycle," Edward sighed.

"What?" Bella said turning the page to the next chapter.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," Edward smiled.

"Sure you didn't, if you didn't want me to hear that you would have just thought it," Bella pointed out.

"True," Edward chuckled, and hoped he was calming some of the nerves she had, but he couldn't be sure if it was working at all. "Emmett just bet that you wouldn't have noticed what car Alice was driving at the end of this chapter... I don't know why Jasper took that bet, you are utterly hopeless when it comes to cars... but whatever."

"Okay," Bella said confused, "why should I have noticed Alice's car in the chapter?"

"It's the one that she's driving around now," Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Alice's won it off of Emmett... so I suppose it's only fair that he gets a vehicle out of his bet too."

"Um... okay," Bella said, not really following everything Edward said and not really wanting to. She just started reading the next chapter. It was so much agony wondering if she was going to make it there in time or not. Why couldn't the stupid author just get to the point already? Would she get to Edward on time?

"YES!" Bella cheered when she crushed into Edward, trying to keep him out of the sun. Edward smiled at her enthusiasm, and then how she just kept reading, her eyes moving quickly across the page to see what happened next. She looked up at him with a questioned in her eyes, "you think you're dead."

"I think you are dead, it's only logical I would think I was too when I saw you," Edward smiled.

"But I thought you didn't believe in the afterlife for your kind," Bella pointed out, she felt extremely upbeat now that her book self was with Edward again. Everything was going to go back to the way they were supposed (though she knew it couldn't be quite that easily, her book self had scars now, but it was going to be okay as long as he was there).

"I didn't then," Edward said. "And I'm not sure what I think anymore, all I know is that whatever life I have, I want you in it."

"That line was so corny," Bella said, her face beat red and her heart was beating a mile a minute.

"Hm... I don't think that's how you really feel," Edward observed before he pressed his lip briefly against hers. Bella heart skipped a beat and he pulled back smiling smugly at her.

Bella started reading again, and her relief was starting to waver when the robed figures came into the picture. She could guess who they were, or at least who they represented, and she didn't like that. Nor did she like the fact that they wanted to see Edward (and her) and that Edward was so against that. What was going to happen to them when they got to this Aro guy that they kept mentioning?

"Who's Jane?" Bella questioned, her voice was tight for she couldn't understand why Edward had looked so resigned after she showed up. She was described as being a little girl after all, how could she hurt Edward?

"She... is someone you would never want to cross," Edward answered.

Bella wanted to retort, she's a vampire, of course I would never want to cross her, but she held her tongue, she could tell that Edward didn't want to talk about this. Edward on the other hand was thinking about the little vampire and how he hoped that Bella indeed never met her. Not that Jane would be able to hurt Bella the way that she hurts everyone else, but still, she was not an enemy anyone would want to have.

Bella read on, cuddling closer to Edward the more she read. She didn't like going down into the dark tunnel, being lead there by impatient vampires.

"It's getting sort of late, it's lunch time," Edward said as Bella finished the chapter.

"I don't care, I have to know what happens next," Bella said and flipped the page; she had to know what kind of doom awaited them now. A part of her was intrigued to hear about all the other vampires, the Volturi that were in a real way the rulers of all the other vampires. At least they enforced their laws with strict penalties and had everyone else fearing their power.

It was clear that Aro was the leader of the group and she wasn't sure if she liked him or not. She could understand and almost respect his curiosity, but there was just something about him that made her think that he wasn't someone you would want to have around. Like he would turn on you in a second. Then there was Caius, who she knew she didn't like. He was too brutal. Then there was Marcus, who she found to be sad, and wondered why he seemed to be so distant. When she asked Edward about it he told her that he had lost his mate and therefore there was nothing else for him to live for.

Bella had to think about that; she didn't want Edward to die, especially if it was because she herself died, but she didn't want him to be like this – a lifeless ancient that seemed to have a sad existence… that was going to stretch out for eternity.

Shaking her head from that disturbing thought, she went on in her disturbing book. She didn't know what was going to happen, so she had no chance to skip the part that had her in tears. The description of the pain that Edward went through while being tortured seemed to flatten her.

"I'm okay," Edward whispered to her, "we're not going to go anywhere near the Volturi in this reality so you don't have to worry about this."

Bella wanted to complain to him, tell him he shouldn't have tried to protect her, for there was no way that she was going to get out of there without Jane torturing her too, but she couldn't. It would only upset Edward, and she couldn't stand to see any form of pain on his face at the moment. That was why she steeled herself not to react when she too felt the pain. It was okay... she could do that for him.

"It didn't work?" Bella said incredulously. "She can't hurt me."

"It seems like I'm not the only one that can't get through that thick skull of yours!" Edward smiled, his eyes were looking over her cautiously, trying to see if she was going to break down again... or how else she might take this news.

"Wow!" was all Bella said. She wasn't sure what that meant, but it had to be good. She only wished she could have done something to prevent Edward from getting hurt. "Argh... Edward, why did you have to try to protect me?"

"What?" Edward said, caught off guard by her question.

"Jane wouldn't have hurt you if you didn't try..." Bella started to say.

"I couldn't just stand there and let anyone hurt you, Bella," Edward said firmly.

"That doesn't stop me from getting hurt, Edward... it hurts seeing you in pain too," Bella informed him.

"I can understand that," Edward said, and she was sure that meant that he understood her pain, but he wasn't going to stop protecting her.

"So can I really block out everything?" Bella questioned after Aro powers didn't work on her.

"Well, not every power," Edward said, "of course you can't block Alice or Jasper..."

"Oh right," Bella frowned, "I wonder what the difference is between those two things."

"One's all in your mind sweety," Edward said chuckling, "and the other is affected by outside forces."

Bella narrowed her eyes, but what he said made sense. It seemed like her mind could block anything that anyone threw at her. That was sort of comforting that no one could get into her mind.

She started reading on at that point and was terrified when she heard the verdict the Volturi made... to kill them. And then she almost smiled when Alice said that she had seen her become a vampire and they were allowed to leave. She wasn't sure if Edward was agreeing with that fact but it didn't matter, for it got them out of the room full of vampires.

"No," Bella said, groaning as soon as the people were mentioned. People that were not getting back out of that room... that were walking to their deaths. It was bad enough to know this, but it was even worse knowing that this was something that happened all the time.

"I know," Edward sighed, and wrapped his arms around him.

"Ah..." Bella sighed as things went on and she hear her thoughts. She couldn't believe that her book self still didn't understand that Edward cared about her. It was ridiculous how she couldn't see it. She wondered how she could miss this, but she knew she was in a lot of pain right now... she had believed the lie and it was so deeply part of her that she couldn't see the truth.

She smiled during the whole conversation with Edward, of course it was embarrassing, but liked the honesty that was in this chapter... she could do without the part where she thought she was dreaming, but it was okay...

"Do you really think you were worse than me when you were gone?" Bella asked.

"I had a tendency to underestimate you..." Edward started to say.

"Um... I don't think that's the best way to start your argument..." Bella frowned.

"But... I really not sure," Edward said. "All I know is that I had to be miserable and there was nothing that I could do to change it..."

"Do you think it's bad if I'm glad I don't get to hear that?" Bella questioned.

"No, do you think it's bad that I'm glad that I did hear this?" Edward said. "I glad that I know this now, so that I know I can't ever leave you."

"Then it's okay," Bella sighed. She read the last chapter, smiling when she had her epiphany, though wishing it could have come sooner... let say the third chapter. And smiled even more when the Cullens, with the exception of Rosalie (but Bella understood her reason even better than her book self did), voted to included her in their family. And that she would also be becoming a vampire in the near future.

"So, will I be a vampire in the next book?" Bella asked hopeful.

Edward just smiled at her until she made a face at him and then continued reading.

"You...YOU... What?" Bella said dropping the book.

"Is there something wrong?" Edward asked.

"You... in my room... prolong vampire... you," Bella said, not able to from a coherent sentence.

"Bella," Edward tried to give her an innocent look, but his amusement ruined it.

"I'm only seventeen..." Bella said her eyes wide in fear.

"Eighteen... in the book," Edward corrected.

"I'm so young... why are you doing this to me?" Bella groaned.

"Because I was trying to think of a good way to stall you becoming a vampire," Edward said and the amusement was gone from his eyes as he said this.

"And you think that's a good reason to ask someone to mar... ma... do that?" Bella said, unable to even say the word.

"No," Edward sighed, "it's a horrible reason to ask someone to marry you, and I am sorry I did it. When I do it in this reality... I'll do it right."

"Argh," Bella groaned, he couldn't be thinking about asking her that... could he? Not after seeing this reaction. "That's not really... Edward I..."

"Sh..." Edward said, "I do know your arguments, Bella. I'm not asking you to marry me right now," he said and left his hands to cup her cheek. "You're my future Bella, and I'm going to want to make you my wife, but I understand you need some time. Just know, that one day I am going to ask this question..." he whispered the last part before kissing her. It was a slow and lingering kiss, threw which he tried to show all the feelings he had at the moment.

"Wow," Bella said when he released her, she was pretty sure she would have agreed to anything after that speech – and very good kiss – but she was also very glad he wasn't asking her right now. She didn't really know why she was so afraid of marriage, okay she knew why and it's named Renee. But it didn't make sense that she was so terrified of marrying Edward, when she was ready to spend forever with him. It still didn't change how she felt about marriage though... no matter how ridiculous and unreasonable she was being.

She finished the book still thinking about Edward's, both Edwards', proposals, and wondering how that was going to form in the future.

She didn't like the fight she had with Charlie one bit. How could she pull the moving out card on him like that after all he had been through... after everything he had done for her in this book. Still, she knew that she couldn't handle it if Edward wasn't allowed at her house. She could tell that things weren't going to be pretty in the start of the next book. She was going to be grounded, a new thing for her. She wasn't going to be speaking with Jacob, the stupid jerk had told Charlie about her motorcycle (which meant even more grounding) and he didn't approve of her choice to become a vampire.

That was something she was really going to have to work with; how was she ever supposed to be friends with Jacob when she knew he would never accept her choice to change. None of the Quileutes would, nor would they just let it go. She was sure that they were thinking about this even now, and weren't going to just stand by if she was turned into a vampire.

"What are we going to do when you turn me?" Bella asked Edward.

"I'm not sure what we will have to do," Edward answered cryptically. "If you want to know that, you should keep reading.

"Well maybe I will, but first I was thinking I would eat," Bella said, "Do you realize I should have eaten hours ago."

"You mean at a little more than two hours ago that I told you, you should eat," Edward stated.

"Yeah, at that time," Bella agreed with a smile. "I don't know how you let me get away with not eating; you know how cranky I get when I'm hungry."

"I sorry," Edward smiled down at her kissing the top of her head as they got up. Bella walked to the table and by the time she got there her late lunch was waiting for her.

A/N: Well there was the second book. It looks like this is the only way I know how to write these things. On Friday I will be moving on to Eclipse and I was wondering if you would prefer a long chapter, even longer than this chapter was (and this was 9000+ words) or if you rather I split it in two and post the first half on Friday and the next on Tuesday. I will only be offering to post two chapter a week for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn because it's easier for me to do chapters like this (I'm working with what I remember of the book and not original work). Anyway, let me know what you prefer.