"Barry!"

Barry whirled around from where he stood in the makeshift kitchen waiting on a pot of coffee for him and Len. That was Cisco's voice, harried with concern. Shit, they were already here.

Cisco and Caitlin appeared in the doorway moments later looking panicked, darting their eyes around the room as if…looking for Len. He must still be in the bathroom and they hadn't seen him when walking through the labs. Cisco held a tablet in his hands that he was clutching too tightly to his chest.

"I'm guessing you already saw the camera footage?" Barry prompted with his hands held out in placation.

"You know?" Caitlin sighed in relief. "So is he…gone?"

Barry frowned. "Gone? Why would he be gone?"

They both gaped at him.

"Because my security feed woke me up to this, this morning!" Cisco nearly shouted. He turned the tablet around to face Barry, and as expected, it showed footage of Len and Lisa from last night. "We don't have outside phone lines in the labs right now, Barry, they're still down from the singularity. And you weren't answering your cell!"

Oops. Where had Barry even put his phone? He checked his pockets but found nothing. He must have left it in the lounge plugged in by the extra cot he still hadn't put away or ever used.

But wait, if Cisco saw the footage when he woke up, why had they thought Len would be gone?

"Did you not…watch everything from last night?" Barry asked cautiously, moving around the kitchen island closer to them.

Cisco and Caitlin exchanged a glance.

"Lisa was enough on her own for me to worry, so I called Caitlin and we rushed right over," Cisco said.

"Oh god," Barry darted to them at almost Flash speed as a world of anxiety flared through his mind, "you didn't tell Joe when you couldn't get a hold of me, did you?"

Thankfully the pair shook their heads.

"We were trying to give Len the benefit of the doubt," Caitlin assured him, "at least come here first, but when we couldn't find either of you when we first checked the lounge…" she trailed and shrugged guiltily.

"It's fine. We're both fine. He's taking a shower," Barry said, shaking off the fluttering feelings of uneasiness, though as he did, another flutter replaced it. "Just…watch the rest of the footage," he told them. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but their worry was palpable enough to overshadow it.

They huddled around the tablet as Cisco presumably started the footage from wherever they'd left off. No sound played, but they didn't need sound once they got to what happened after Lisa left. Barry busied himself with pouring him and Len some coffee so he wouldn't have to watch their expressions shift.

"Oh," Caitlin said with renewed pity in her voice, "look at him after she left. He looks…awful. What happened between them?"

"Just keep watching," Barry said stiffly, "then I'll explain. I overheard the whole thing."

A couple minutes passed and Barry kept his back turned.

Then he heard Caitlin go, "Oh," again, but in a very different tone.

Cisco echoed her. "Oh."

"Yeah…" Barry turned with both cups of coffee in hand, extra sugar, black, for Len, and extra everything for him. Cisco and Caitlin's faces were pinched, like they were afraid to express their true reactions. "Come on, guys, just give it to me straight." He cringed. "I mean…tell me what you're thinking."

When they looked at each other again and didn't immediately answer, he delved into a tirade he so didn't have time to think through before it left his lips.

"Len did this whole pretending to still be his old self thing with Lisa, so she wouldn't freak, and it totally wrecked him—that's why he looked like that after she left—and when I found him, he was shaking, and I just…I just wanted him to know it would be okay. But something was messing with his head, I could tell, and he wouldn't talk to me, and then…he kissed me and it just..." He paused long enough to look up and see Caitlin with a half-smile of sympathy and Cisco looking—was that jealousy? Barry hoped he was thinking of Lisa. "It was really nice, okay! Gut-wrenchingly hot, actually…" He let his gaze drift as he remembered, and thought of how toned Len's backside had looked in the shower...

"Dude," Cisco sputtered, a dark blush coloring his cheeks when Barry looked up again.

"Sorry," Barry really wished he could reach for the back of his head right then but both of his hands were full, "it's just…been really intense for Len, and I don't want him thinking there's anything wrong. It was nice. It really was. He's nice. You both know that."

Caitlin gave Barry a more honest, heartfelt smile. "We do know that. He's a different person right now, Barry. And if you still trust him after Lisa being here, then we trust you. It's a little worrying though. What if Lisa comes back? What if she could tell Len wasn't being honest with her?"

"I don't think so…" Barry said thoughtfully, standing before them both again as he considered last night's events. But no, he shook his head. "Even if she did suspect something, I don't think it would matter. There's a part of her that wants the same thing, she just doesn't know how to ask for it, or how to believe she could actually get it. A new life. There was this longing in her words," he recalled, wanting to believe in Lisa as much as he believed in Len. "I don't know. She definitely wants to protect Len, wants what's best for him. She might be more easily convinced of him being a good guy than you'd think. She mentioned you, you know?" he smirked as his gaze drifted more fully to Cisco.

Cisco opened his mouth to refute that, paused to look at Barry hopefully, like 'really?' then quickly said, "Barry, as much as the thought of one of the hottest women I've ever met in real life actually liking me back is an ego-boost, it's much more likely she's only interested in how she can use me to get what she wants. The gun, inside intel, you." His eyes widened. "Not that I think that's what's going on with Len! I mean…with Cold, totally, but Len…" He shrugged.

A shrug wasn't quite enough commitment to giving Len the benefit of the doubt as Caitlin was offering, but Barry couldn't blame them if they were skeptical. "Maybe he and Lisa are more alike than you realize. Either way, there's no point speculating until more time has passed, and we know what else Len is going to remember. I told him the same thing. For now, I promised Joe we'd put some extra precautions in place for when I'm not here. You have that setup to feed you security footage at home?" He nodded at Cisco's tablet.

"Well, yeah, ever since Wells—Reverse Flash," Cisco corrected, rarely a fan of using Wells' name anymore, since the man hadn't ever really been him, "but I had to go out of my way to look at it this morning, so it's not like I'd get an alert fast enough if something went wrong. Maybe I can rig something to shoot me direct footage with warning bells whenever anyone is outside the perimeter of the main labs. That way if Lisa or anyone else comes back, or if Len ever tried to leave without us knowing…" He trailed and his eyes went distant, figuring details and calibrations in his head.

"That sounds perfect, Cisco, thank you," Barry said. He wanted to bring Len his coffee before the man decided to check on things himself and overheard anything that sounded like they didn't trust him. Barry would explain all about the extra security, so Len understood it was mostly for Joe's peace of mind, not any need of theirs. Trust was the most important thing right now to make sure Len still wanted the same things when—if—he remembered.

Barry made to move around Cisco and Caitlin to go find him.

"Barry?" It was Caitlin, sounding placating but tentative. When he looked back at her, her eyes spoke volumes of how much she didn't think he'd like what she had to say.

"What?"

"It's only…well…you're absolutely sure the act was for Lisa and not...for you?" she asked. "I'm not saying I think otherwise, Barry, but this is Captain Cold we're taking about. If anyone was capable of catching us by surprise..."

A flicker of anger curdled in Barry's gut but not because Caitlin was asking the hard question. Barry had wondered that too, when he first started to overhear Len and Lisa last night. He'd felt the worst nausea and anger hearing that familiar mocking tone to Len's voice, and had been certain for a moment that he'd been duped. He hoped he never had to tell Len that it really wasn't until he saw him, the way he shook, his mournful expression once Lisa was gone, that Barry realized his mistake.

"I'm sure," Barry said, and he meant it—he had to. "He isn't Captain Cold anymore."

"And it's not just the make-out session talking?" Cisco asked with a raised eyebrow. He held his hands up when Barry scowled. "Coz I have firsthand experience with how difficult it is to think clearly after that. With Lisa!" he added hastily, as if the qualifier was necessary.

Barry forced a smile, because it wasn't just the kiss, but he couldn't deny that it made things more complicated.

No, it wasn't the make-out session, it was Len's smile afterwards, the two softer kisses that had followed, Len's sweet, timid nature. That was his real self, not Captain Cold.

"I trust him," Barry said in answer, and turned on the spot to leave things at that.

When he walked into the lounge, and Len was standing there in different clothes for the first time—jeans of Barry's that were too long over his feet, and a sweater Barry had deemed too big so it fit Len's broader shoulders perfectly—he knew the sentiment hadn't been anything but the truth.

Len smiled at him, and the sight was so beautiful, Barry almost stumbled.

"Coffee?"

Len could tell that Barry was trying too hard. He stretched his smile too far, while at the same time his eyes were downturned in that sad, grieving way that left an ache in Len's chest. The playfulness, the blush in Barry's cheeks like how he'd been that morning, drinking Len in openly through the sliver of space from the shower curtain, it was all still there. The kid even—almost—went for a kiss goodbye, but backed off, too shy, Len figured, to go for it, so Len followed him and bridged the gap before he could get away. Barry hummed when their lips pressed together. It made Len want to follow him right out the door, but he wasn't allowed, couldn't risk it, and dwelling on that brought back some of the ache as Barry waved goodbye.

Cisco and Caitlin were also on edge, despite whatever Barry had explained to them about last night. Len couldn't blame them. They had to be alone with him all day.

But they tried too, tried so hard to act like they weren't spooked whenever he entered a room. Len didn't want to make this harder on them, but doing nothing wasn't helping anything either; he could feel his memories ever encroaching, this awful pressure weighing him down. He decided he needed to take a risk to ensure things turned out as he wanted, and just hoped the others trusted him enough to let him try.

"I want you to help me reprogram the cold gun," he told Cisco.

The kid had been sitting with a tablet while typing in complicated code at one of the computers. When Len snuck up on him, Cisco jumped and pulled the tablet to his chest. Len already knew what was on it—the camera feeds. Cisco didn't want him to know he was watching him, but Barry had already explained. Even if the extra security was more to prevent him from leaving—or someone else from sneaking in—it made sense Cisco would also use it to keep tabs on him.

"You…wanna mess with the gun again?" Cisco asked with a furrowed brow.

"I want to make it non-lethal. You created it, right? You can do that? Alter the schematics somehow so the ice could be reversed, just a sheet, a covering, not solid? So it couldn't…ever kill anyone again."

Cisco sucked in a breath; he obviously didn't like being reminded that his creation had been used to kill people. After a moment, he said, "It wouldn't be as effective that way. I mean, at its original intention, which was…stopping Barry."

"That's why I want to change it," Len emphasized. "I might be able to take it apart and put it back together again, I understand how it works, but I wouldn't be able to reprogram it to being lethal again without your help, if…" Len couldn't say it, but Cisco's eyes went wide and then back to normal with a determined nod.

"We can do that. It has some lower settings like what you…" Cisco steeled himself, keeping his expression impassive, "like what Captain Cold used on my brother. The damage wasn't permanent. He's fine now, because we were able to thaw the affected areas soon enough. If I adjust the settings so that the lowest one is as high as it goes…" Excitement danced in his eyes.

He pushed his chair back from where he sat and spun away across the room toward another terminal. Len followed. He watched, amazed as Cisco pulled up the cold gun schematics in moments and started punching in equations Len barely understood—and then definitely didn't understand at all. Good.

"This could be so sweet. Like a really awesome tool to use against bad guys." Cisco paused in his typing to look up at Len over his shoulder. "The real bad guys," he grinned supportively. His fingers started flying across the keys again. "This is totally leading into another awesome superhero team-up, Len. You can't suggest modifying the cold gun and then expect someone else to use it, you know. Maybe we can give you a new name to go with the good guy persona. Like Mr.—"

"Hold it. No more nicknames," Len interrupted. "For now, let's stick with 'Len'."

Cisco pouted like Len had spoiled all of his fun—oddly reminiscent of Lisa, actually. "While 'Len' is hugely cooler than Leonard—"

"Hey, you were wearing a Leonard McCoy T-shirt the other day."

"Yeah, and everyone calls him 'Bones'. Duh." Cisco rolled his eyes.

Len laughed. He couldn't help liking the kid. His honesty was always refreshing. He still tried to make Len feel as if things weren't as bad as they really were, but when he looked at Len with genuine hope that things could turn out okay, he knew Cisco really believed it.

Cisco pushed from the desk so that his chair rolled parallel with Len, grinning up at him as he gestured back at the screen in pride. It still showed schematics for the cold gun, but with different numbers and highlights next to various parts on the screen.

"Come on," Cisco nudged his arm, "you can help me make the changes without me having to give away how it works. You won't be able to change it back alone, but if you're the one doing the alterations…"

"Maybe it'll mean more later," Len finished, the unspoken 'when I remember' left to hang, because Len still planned on keeping that a distant, hopefully impossible option. "I'm only okay touching that thing again because I'll be changing it into something better. But if I start to…if I look like I'm about to…" He stared at the screen, at the outlined image of the gun that was almost too much on its own, when the real thing was just across the room and far more deadly.

A warm hand closed around Len's wrist. "We'll let Caitlin know what we're working on. If anything happens…Barry is literally seconds away, no matter where he is."

The kid had the gall to look like he wholeheartedly believed in Len despite the danger, despite his earlier skepticism and comments. Maybe it was this task set before them now, something Cisco could wrap his head around and support. It made Len feel emboldened to see this through.

He patted Cisco's hand. "What do you need me to do?"

Caitlin moved her work so that while she was in the next room over, she faced the glass and could see everything they were doing, in case they needed to call Barry. That's the only way they were willing to word it—in case they needed to call Barry. It soothed Len that at least they had some safeguards in place, but this had been his idea. He didn't want to let them down.

Cisco had him take the gun apart, because, "You're better at it than me," and even though Len did it in even less time than he had the other day, every second his hands were in contact with parts of the gun, feeling the inherent cold radiating from it, he felt that buzzing hum in the back of his mind.

A few memories slipped in.

Len stared Lisa down without flinching. "Are you admitting to obsessing over The Flash's little genius assistant?"

"Are you admitting to obsessing over The Flash?"

And each time they did, Len started to shake. He'd pause, hold his breath a moment, and keep going. Cisco looked wary when he finally stopped, but then delighted when he realized Len was done taking the gun apart. He slapped Len on the shoulder, and it felt like victory.

Then Cisco took over, giving him orders about what to do with each part. Cisco did certain vital, more complicated things himself, but the rest he simply directed and told Len what to do. Having to focus on something that wasn't as second nature as just where the pieces fit together helped Len to keep stray memories back—for a time.

It was the chill of handling the gun that brought new ones.

"The first time someone ends up dead because of one of those metas, it's on you," The Flash snarled.

"I think you're forgetting the pilots of the plane they crashed."

Len knew these memories were closer to the forefront because they were more recent, not as dangerous as those that made up the core of him—of Captain Cold and the way he'd been before he even had that name. But when shades of more distant, darker memories started to surface, he pulled away, clutched his hands to his chest, closed his eyes, and took in several drawn out, deep breaths.

"Len…?"

"Just give me a minute."

"Okay…" Cisco sounded like he was ready to bolt if he needed to.

Somehow, Len kept the attacks at bay, but it didn't diminish the buzzing, the pull and tease of memories calling. He could feel it now, the remaining wall, with a perfectly formed door inside his head that he had to keep pushing things in front of to keep closed. He'd build a new wall in front of that one if he had to, anything and everything to keep that damn door closed.

He went back to working on the gun. They were almost finished, Cisco told him, and Len nodded, didn't speak, just stared at the gun listening to Cisco's instructions as he worked.

Hours must have passed, and when all of the alternations had been made, Cisco told him to put it back together. One hundred and nineteen seconds. Cisco didn't time him, but Len knew he beat the record.

The moment it was reassembled, he picked up the gun and charged it—reflex, instinct. Cisco backed away like he had the first time that happened, slowly, cautious, and for a moment, Len didn't think anything of it, didn't worry or care, just held the charged gun that sent exciting shivers shooting up his arms as he thought about how much fun it would be to redecorate that glass wall…and Caitlin's pretty face beyond it.

He dropped the gun onto the table and stumbled back, amazed he didn't hear anything crack or break as it landed. He waited for the attack to hit him. When it didn't, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing…or very, very bad.

Eddie and Iris were still staring at him. Then Eddie cracked a smile, started to laugh, like he thought Barry must be joking—he had to be joking.

"Barry Allen, you are not having slumber parties with Captain Cold at S.T.A.R. Labs," Iris said succinctly.

Eddie looked like he wanted to laugh again, but his expression sank when Barry didn't join in. "Barr…"

"I wouldn't call it slumber parties," Barry defended, then scratched his head, "though we are camped out in the lounge. And we did watch a movie the other night."

Eddie was wholly flabbergasted now and visibly tense. "You watched a movie. With Leonard Snart."

Barry almost wished he hadn't told them, but he'd already decided: no more secrets, no more lies. They'd convinced him to have dinner at Joe's tonight, and he'd had to explain that he couldn't stay as late as usual, since he had to head back to S.T.A.R. Labs. When they'd asked about Flash business, of course he told them the truth.

"Does Dad know about this?" Iris whispered.

"I do," Joe said, coming out of the kitchen with three beers balanced in his hands that he passed around to everyone but Barry. Barry had never been much of a beer guy; no point in wasting it if he couldn't even get a slight buzz—which he was really lamenting about now.

Iris knocked back a swig of beer immediately.

Eddie gaped at Joe, his bottle held suspended. "And you're okay with this?"

"I didn't say that," Joe affirmed, but then eyed Barry in sympathy. He sighed. "Everything Barry said, about Snart not remembering who he is, acting like a completely different person...it seems to hold up. I went to see him myself. I don't know if it'll last, but for now..."

"For now everything is fine," Barry said. He felt like maybe now was the moment he should divulge his other secret, but...no, it was just a kiss—several kisses now, really—but he shouldn't get ahead of himself. He'd had to explain to Cisco and Caitlin, sure, because of the camera footage, but he hadn't really talked to Len about anything yet. It was too new, too insane to explain to his family.

"Barry?" Joe pressed in lieu of his silence, "is there something that isn't fine?"

"What?" Barry snapped to attention. "No! I checked in with Cisco and Caitlin before leaving the station. They're going to work late so Len isn't alone. Nothing happened today, I just can't stay long after dinner."

"Did something happen last night?" Iris asked, and damn her for always being able to read between Barry's lines.

He groaned in frustration and turned to sink down into the couch, feeling all of their eyes boring into him as they followed suit sitting themselves in the living room, though only Iris braved sitting right beside him. She looked at him expectantly, but Barry's attention drifted to Joe, whose gaze was guarded.

"You'll just overreact," Barry said.

"So that means there's something to overreact to?"

Urg. Barry really hated the way he did that, that perfect Dad counter argument without any effort. Barry didn't want to lie, but he wasn't ready to tell them he might have something more than friendship building with Len. They wouldn't understand. Not until they knew him.

He settled on an easier truth. "His sister, Lisa, came to the labs last night."

All three of them sat up straighter. Barry wished Iris wasn't as in the know as the detectives in the room, but being a reporter made her just as knowledgeable, especially concerning The Flash's various villains.

"Nothing happened," Barry assured them. "She was just worried about her brother. She thought I'd locked him in the pipeline or something and was coming to rescue him."

"And he chose to stay?" Eddie asked, genuinely surprised.

There was so much more to it than that, but Barry answered simply with, "Yes, because he doesn't want to be Captain Cold anymore. Seeing Lisa didn't help him remember, not everything, anyway, and whenever he does remember something, he gets so…" Barry stared at Iris' beer. He really wished he could swipe some of it and feel the burn for a moment. "I know he's been remembering a few things, and he hates it, starts panicking, almost makes himself pass out just from…" and it only then dawned on Barry, "just from trying so hard to not remember."

Len had said it enough times, that he didn't want to remember being Captain Cold, but Barry hadn't realized how much he meant it, how hard he was fighting against it, and how maybe that was making the panic attacks worse.

Barry would have to deal with that later. For now, all that mattered was that Len wanted to be the man he'd changed into, a man who was gentle and kind, who teased Barry but playfully, not vindictive or cruel. Who apparently thought Barry's complete idiocy was adorable and didn't mind that he had totally peeped on him in the shower that morning. If they had met under different circumstances, it could have been so easy, the rapport they had, how comfortable Barry felt around him. He wished he could explain that to his family.

It had gone eerily quiet, he realized, and he looked up cautiously to see Joe frowning, looking sorrowful, while Eddie smiled with his heart on his sleeve like always, and Iris—god, Barry would always get lost in her dark eyes when she looked at him like that, like she was stunned and proud of him all at once.

"Barr," she said sweetly, "it's just the way you are, you know, always seeing the best in people. Even your enemies," she chuckled.

Eddie laughed too. Even Joe had to smile at that.

"But we, well…" Iris looked aside at her father.

Without any words needing to pass between them, he knew to pick up where she'd left off. "We want you to be safe, Barry. Snart's a dangerous man. That you want to offer him something better, a fresh start, and he seems—so far—to be willing to accept that, it really is amazing, something you always hope for in this job. You wouldn't be you if you didn't want to give him that. We just want you to be careful. "

"We're cops, Barry, but…at least to me, that's never been about punishing the wicked," Eddie added. "Sure, that's part of it, sort of has to be, but I'd rather see a reformed criminal getting to go home to his family, happy, ready to make up for his crimes, than watch one rot in prison the rest of his life without any hope for redemption. Maybe that's too altruistic…"

"It is," Joe deadpanned with a sideways glance at Eddie, but he was smiling, "but I guess that's just the way heroes are supposed to think."

Iris beamed that Joe had included both Barry and Eddie in the comment, and Eddie looked a little flustered as well.

Barry, in turn, didn't know how to express to Joe how much it meant to him to have those words used in much the same way as he'd said them to Joe the day before. Barry wasn't sure if he was a hero, but he wanted to be one—like Joe always would be to him, and Eddie, his real dad, Oliver, so many others. Iris too, and not just because she could throw a mean punch. Barry was surrounded by heroes. He didn't think it was asking too much to want to add another one to their ranks.

"Thanks, guys, I can't tell you how much it means to me to know you're with me on this, even if it is a risk," Barry said, brightening as much as he could. It was family dinner night; he hadn't meant to bring everyone down with such serious talk. "Now come on, don't you need to put us to work getting dinner ready, Joe?" he grinned at the man across from him.

Joe rolled out of his chair as if just then remembering. "You bet your ass I do. I'm not chopping all those vegetables myself."

Joe led the way into the kitchen, Eddie following closely behind after tossing Barry another supportive smile, leaving Iris to trail back with Barry as she turned to him.

"I hope things turn out for the best, Barry," she said. "I can tell this means a lot to you, the chance to save one of your enemies. It's…kind of crazy."

"I know," Barry really did, especially after how spectacularly they had failed at rehabilitating the metas, "but it'll be worth the risk, Iris, I know it. When we're sure everything is good, you can meet Len for yourself, and then I promise, you won't believe he's the same guy you saw icing people on the news."

Iris laughed. It wasn't really funny, the things Captain Cold had done, but Barry appreciated that she was trying, that she believed in him. Barry believed too; he wasn't all smoke and mirrors, he honestly believed in Len, and looked over at Iris with his widest smile.

"I really think everything is going to be okay."

TBC...