Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.
A/N: Thanks to katmom and Angelinia, who beta this story.
Chapter Twenty
Reading Breaking Dawn Part One
Bella woke up the next morning feeling better than she thought she would have after everything that happened in the books. She figured the books must have been sent here for a reason; that maybe both Edward and she had to learn from them and that it seemed that they already had. Still, she was dying to know what was going to happen in the last book. She was sure of a few things that were going to happen, like she was going to marry Edward and she was going to be turned into a vampire. She wondered if either of those things was the reason he was convinced without a shadow of a doubt that they belonged together or if it was something else. By the time she got to that thought she was downstairs, had finished her breakfast and was heading towards the couch to read.
"You're eager to read this book aren't you," Edward smiled as he sat down, opening his arms for her.
"Obviously, I really need to see how this is going to end," Bella smiled back at him and opened the book. She found the preface to be oddly un-terrifying, for she knew what this was talking about (at least she thought she did).
She sighed at the next chapter's title, she was coming around to the idea of marriage, that was for sure, but that didn't mean she wanted to be engaged.
"You better not have touched my truck!" Bella said when she got to that part. She had been slowly getting more uncomfortable as she read about the new car she was driving (and all the attention it was getting).
"I wouldn't know if I had or not," Edward informed her looking innocent.
"Hm..." Bella huffed; she didn't buy his innocent look for one second. "Well, I know how to solve this problem; I'm not going to make a ridiculous deal like that."
Edward pouted at her but she just ignored him. "I thought you said you would accept gifts from me..."
"I wasn't talking about a car, Edward!" Bella was really glaring at him now. "You are not to get me any vehicles, is that understood?"
"I suppose," Edward sighed.
After glaring at him some more she started to read again. She felt badly that she cared so much about what everyone thought about her getting married to Edward. That shouldn't be what mattered, but she knew it did. She didn't want to be the center of everyone's gossip, especially about something that she was raised to fear.
She shot another glare at Edward, who was trying to look innocent again, but was altogether much too amused to pull it off, when she got to the strangers taking a picture of the car. She groaned as she read that it had missile proof glass.
"Is that a joke?" Bella whispered darkly.
"I doubt it," Edward chuckled. "You know how seriously I take your safety."
Bella growled at him before reading again. "And you got me another car too!"
"What can I say?" Edward shrugged and Bella took a deep breath to calm herself down. She sighed when she read that Jacob was still missing and groaned when she discovered that she was checking up on him so much. She should probably have just left him alone at this point, but she had to admit that she would be really worried if her friend was off on his own like that.
She tensed when she read about how Charlie would take the news that she was going to marry Edward. It was all too easy to picture his every reaction to this bit of information and she knew she would, at some point, have to have this conversation with her real dad. She hoped it would go better than this; though to be honest this wasn't as bad as she feared. No one was shot at least. She was a little upset when Charlie laughed and threatened her with Renee's reaction.
"Argh... I can't believe it!" Bella nearly shouted as she read the anticlimactic reaction her mom had. "After all that talk... all that complaining and telling me it wasn't smart... she says that!"
Edward just chuckled at her rant.
"Of course you would find this funny," Bella huffed. "But can't you see that it would have saved us a lot of trouble if she wouldn't have made me think that getting married at such a young age was the worst thing in the world?"
"But you do know that now, so it is saving us a lot of trouble," Edward pointed out with a smirk. "And maybe now you won't have to be so terrified of getting married to me."
"Good luck with that one," Bella grumbled before reading again. Though she was still upset with Renee's reaction to the marriage, she did have to smile at the way that she seemed to get along so well with Esme.
"Ah... Alice is going to be a nightmare," Bella sighed.
"Even worse than she normally is," Edward agreed, frowning as well. "She's always the worst at the first wedding..."
"How many times do you think I'm going to marry you?" Bella exclaimed.
"I don't know," Edward shrugged. "It's up to you, but I'm okay as long as you marry me at least once."
"Well, don't expect any more from me," Bella warned him before reading again. As she listened to the concerns about becoming a vampire, she sighed; it was hard to believe that she could ever want anything more than she wanted Edward, but she knew when she was first turned the thirst was going to be very powerful.
She moved on to the next chapter and smiled and blushed as she read about her and Edward. She sighed however when Edward mentioned how Charlie had thought she was pregnant. She didn't want to think about that right now, because she was happy with Edward and thinking of such things as that would only make them both unhappy.
She grumbled when Jasper and Emmett showed up and took Edward away to his bachelor party.
"Really, Edward, what do you do on a bachelor party?" Bella asked.
"It's like Jasper said, we just go hunting," Edward chuckled. "Emmett is usually way too inappropriate with his comments, even more than usual. But still, we have some nice brotherly time, for after the wedding we won't see each other for months..."
"Months?" Bella said a little shocked.
"Depending on the time of year and other things," Edward shrugged. "They all liked to spend a significant time period alone together each time they get married."
Bella's cheeks heated up at the thought of spending a month, maybe more, with Edward…alone.
"A penny for your thoughts," Edward whispered to her with a very smug smile. Bella just blushed more than ever before pulling the book closer to her and trying to make sense of the words that were on the page.
"Is that what you meant about hoping that I would meet Tanya's family before I transform... that it would be at our wedding?" Bella questioned Edward.
"I would think they would like to see that," Edward smiled, though of course he was thinking of a more serious reason than just this. Bella looked at him closely, seeing that he had an ulterior motive to this and wondering what that was but she didn't question him about it.
As she read on she felt uncomfortable about her dream. The immortal child with its chilling eyes and yet compelling beauty would be terrible. It wouldn't be hard to imagine anyone would protect someone like that with their lives. She could also understand why the Volturi would make them illegal to create seeing as they would have no control whatsoever. She felt bad that Edward's extended family had lost their mother in such a brutal way. And yet she still felt apprehensive dreaming about this. She wondered why she was dreaming this way and was fearful that Edward might have been right that she did want that. She tried not to think about that knowing it would be no good to want it.
She went on to the next chapter trying to stop herself from sighing knowing that it was going to be about her wedding. She was wondering though, whether this was going to be as bad as she feared or if she would end up liking it better than she expected to. It didn't make her feel any better reading about Alice and her excitement. She could empathize with how horrid that ordeal was going to be.
"It seems Rosalie is starting to come around to me," Bella said as she read about the blond vampire helping her out. She would expect nothing less in this reality, but it was a little unexpected in the book. As she thought this she wondered if she was going to have two excited vampire sisters at her wedding and cringed, seriously hoping that Rosalie wouldn't kick up her excitement.
Though she was still a little mad at her mom's reactions, she smiled as Renee came into the story. She loved her mom and missed her terribly. She also had to smile when Charlie was there too... in his monkey suit as he called it, and how happy they were when they were giving her the combs that had belonged to her grandmother. However, seeing as this led to Alice giving her a garter which she proceeded to put on her book self with vampire speed, but she still felt herself blushing a little.
She could feel Edward's chest rumble slightly at this and she looked up at him and was shocked by the look she saw on his face. He wasn't amused as she had thought he would be, and he wasn't smug, no, he was completely content... he looked like he couldn't wait for this day to come. Though it was a little frightening thinking of that, she felt she liked the smile he had and turned back to the book so she could continue reading.
She smiled at how easy it seemed to get married to Edward. How all her panicking stopped when she saw him and she was at home in his arms. The ordeal she had to go through with Alice didn't matter, and the fact that she was going to be gossip wouldn't really matter in the end, for she would be with Edward forever. In the end, wasn't he all that really mattered?
"You seem happy," Edward said smugly.
"It wasn't as bad as I feared," Bella shrugged, trying not to show her feelings, but she was sure it was already too late for that. He kissed the top of her head and she snuggled closer to him. She stayed like this as she continued to read the next chapter.
She smiled at the fact that Seth was there and that he really did seem happy for them. It was a nice change of pace to what all the other werewolves seemed to think about her family. She was happy, too, that Billy and Sue were there, though of course they didn't seem to be enjoying themselves that much.
As she was meeting Edward's cousins she felt herself grow a little annoyed at the way Tanya was acting towards Edward. However, as soon as Edward declared her his wife she blushed. She could imagine the way his voice would sound saying those words and she smiled. She was slightly disappointed when the Denalis left, for she was hoping to get to know them better, but she supposed she would just have to wait until she met them in this life.
She cringed upon hearing Edward eating the cake and she vowed to tell him that he didn't have to do that for their real wedding. She smiled as Angela caught her bouquet, and smiled at the thought of her and Ben getting married. She blushed fiercely at how Edward took off her garter. Did he really have to do that? Again she felt Edward chuckling and this time she glared at him (finding his expression filled with amused pride).
She sighed but smiled as they danced, it just seemed right being with Edward liked that. She smiled again, though this time sadly, as she danced with Charlie... it was going to be really hard to handle when this happened. And then she was being passed around, dancing with everyone and she was glad when Edward came back because she didn't really want to think about dancing with all those people. And then she was looking at herself through the window and she could appreciate how lovely she must have looked and admitted that it was probably worth getting tortured by Alice to look that way.
"Jacob came," Bella sighed, wondering if this was such a good thing or not. She really would want her friend at her wedding but not if it was going to be too hard on him.
She read the conversation they had and she could almost smile at it, it did feel more like the relationship she shared with the boy now. Then she blushed when she talked about having a real honeymoon with Edward to Jacob... that so wasn't any of his business. And it was made all the worse by the way he reacted to the piece of information. She got mad at his insistence that it was wrong and his calling Edward a monster for even thinking about doing it. It wasn't right... she knew it was what she wanted. Edward wouldn't hurt her and it was none of Jacob's business. She groaned when the book Edward seemed to grow grave at this, after hearing Jacob thoughts, which were probably worse than his words.
She tried to give Edward a sly look, wondering what his expression would be like, but Edward seemed to have noticed and had already arranged his features so he would give nothing away. Sighing, she continued reading. She sighed again as she realized that she allowed the Jacob issue to affect their wedding. She shouldn't have gone to talk to him. But there was nothing to do about it now, and she was pleased that she was able to put it out of her mind and enjoy the rest of her wedding.
Bella was a bit annoyed at Alice's insistence that they leave. It seemed like Alice wouldn't stand for even the tiniest of details to be messed with that day. She smiled sadly again when she said goodbye to her parents, knowing that it was really goodbye for her book self. It was especially hard to hear that Charlie was crying; showing an odd display of emotion.
"Why didn't you just tell me where we were going? Why all the secrecy?" Bella grumbled as she read about how they got to the island.
Edward chuckled at that. "Well, I'm not going to be able to be so secretive in this reality, seeing as you already know where I'm planning on taking you."
"That's good to know," Bella smiled and then continued to read. "Was the island really a gift?"
"Yes," Edward chuckled again. "Carlisle spent a considerable amount of money to buy that island and make sure that no one can go there without his permission. Only a few people in the world know about this island and it's a nice place where we can be completely alone."
"I like the sound of that," Bella chuckled too and then started reading eagerly, though she was starting to get nervous about what was surely going to happen in this chapter. She felt her temperature raise as she read on and yet she felt at ease hearing that Edward was nervous too. Of course she was a bundle of nerves again when her book self started worrying about what she should wear and how she would react to Edward... It didn't help at all that Edward's chest was vibrating and she knew how amused he was... nor that it reminded her once again that Edward's family had read this. She would have preferred if this had stayed just between the two of them.
And then she was on the beach with him and it was the most natural thing in the word and she felt herself smiling widely just thinking about that. How they fit together perfectly... as if they were made for each other. She felt immensely grateful that they were able to be together physically while she was still human and she was looking forward to the day she would actually be able to be with Edward. She was also grateful that the book didn't describe what happened between them... she wanted to find out for herself.
"Oh my God, Edward, what are you doing?" Bella exclaimed as she read about his attitude afterward.
"Overreacting to things," Edward sighed. "I am sorry for my behavior."
"And you promise me that you will not do anything like this when we make love," Bella said and immediately turned red, but that didn't stop her from looking Edward straight in the eyes.
"I promise," Edward said, looking as if he would have been blushing too if he could.
Bella continued reading and was further upset by Edward's dark mood, how he described himself as a monster and how he was taking what had been the best moment of her book self's life and dragged it through the mud. It just sucked that he had to be so pessimistic about things just because she had a few bruises... it's not like she wasn't capable of giving herself bruises. Why the hell couldn't he have just taken her word that she was okay... more than okay?
"I'm sorry," Edward whispered in her ear, obviously noticing that she was fuming about his. "But you know it's hard for me to see you hurt... worse knowing I'm the one that did it..."
"I suppose, but I don't understand why you can't believe me when I said I wasn't hurt," Bella mumbled, "I know he said that I had a tendency of letting him off too easily but I just don't see that... I think it's just you tend to want to believe that you're a monster and that's just ridiculous."
"Hm..." Edward said not sure if he agreed with that but he was finding her reaction to this too amusing to argue with her. Besides, he really was dying to hear what she had to say about the next few chapters. "Just keep reading, Bella."
"Fine," Bella grumbled and continued read. She groaned when she realized that Edward wasn't going to touch her again, that he was going to pull away from her. And she was even more annoyed when she started reading the next chapter and Edward was making her do all sorts of things to distract her. She was glad that she didn't just give in but she was disappointed that Edward didn't seem to react to her at all, even when she was wearing lingerie (that Alice had packed for her). Hmph, she huffed, Edward had too much self control, more than was good for him or for her!
"I'm offering to stay human and still you won't sleep with me," Bella grumbled to herself, though of course Edward heard her.
"You know how insistent I can be when I think I'm right," Edward chuckled.
"Hm... perhaps, but I also know that I'm more stubborn than you are when I really want something."
"True," Edward chuckled. "This is why you will get your way."
"Really," Bella smiled at that, but then again that made sense. There was no way her Edward would have willingly been with her if he didn't believe that it was physically safe... that he wouldn't hurt her. She continued reading and found it more enjoyable than she had a moment ago, knowing that she would succeed.
When she got to talking about the nightmares she was having, she wondered again why the child was mentioned, worried again as to why a child would be there, fearing the desire that was starting to build in her. She pushed that thought aside as the Volturi were mentioned. It wasn't that difficult seeing as she was really starting to fear these vampires and the real danger they presented to her family. That didn't last long though for the baby in her book self's dreams was described and it was so easy to picture him... he would look just like Edward and of course she would have to protect him with her life.
"What's the matter?" Edward asked and she was too absorbed in her thoughts to notice the anxiety in his voice. How anxious he was to see how she took the news. She shook her head, she wasn't going to tell him about what she was thinking about, it would only serve to bring him down too for there was nothing he could do to make her feel better.
"I attacked you again," Bella chuckled (though it was a little forced as she still thought of her other dream). "That's how I get you to cave..."
"Yes," Edward chuckled, "Emmett especially liked that."
"Oh, shut up," Bella glared at him, blushing of course. She had managed until this point to not think about his family reading all of this. "Now that you brought it up, how did your family take your beh..."
"They were all on your side, of course," Edward chuckled, "my sisters were particularly angry at me for behaving like an idiot."
"Good," Bella smiled and then started to read again. Edward's distraction had made her feel slightly better. She was very pleased about the way that the book Edward had taken this, he seemed to be happy and it really made her smile to read all of this. She sighed when she was talking about going to college and Edward said that they didn't agree to anything so she could drop the pretense. She was quite sure that it wasn't a pretense and she was annoyed that he thought she would do that. She didn't make plots and plans like that. She really wished the people that came to clean the house would have picked another day. She liked the thought of spending time alone with Edward, but she smiled as the chapter ended.
She sighed as the next chapter started with a dream... the dream of protecting a baby from the Volturi. However, there was something going on in this book more than just an underlying desire to have Edward's child. She was fatigued, and having odd dreams, and eating more than usual, and even more unbalanced than she normally was. And this chapter was called unexpected... was there something more happening her? She knew it was dangerous thinking this, for if she was wrong it would be devastating.
She added her cooking experience to the list of the impossible happenings and continued reading and she had become sick. And the more she read the more convinced she became that she was right.
"Edward... is what I think happening actually happening?" Bella asked when she got to the part where she was counting days.
"I don't know what you're thinking, Bella," Edward answered and Bella turned to him frowning. His expression was teasing but he looked worried, too.
"Am I..." Bella said, stumbling over the word almost terrified of what would happen once she said it, "I'm p-pregnant?"
Edward nodded his head and was looking at her so intensely that it stalled her reaction to this bit of information. She felt frozen as she looked into Edward's eyes... how worried he looked as if he was terrified of how she would react to this. She realized then that this was what had truly convinced him that they were meant to be together, having a child together... proving that he wasn't a soulless monster and she wouldn't be one either if she was a vampire.
She knew he wanted her to say something, but she couldn't find the words. She was thinking about a child... picturing the little boy that was described not too long ago, and knowing that he would have to be sweet and innocent. She smiled as she thought about holding this baby, of getting to know him. She looked up at Edward then and beamed at him.
"We're going to be parents!" Bella exclaimed.
"Yes!" Edward exclaimed excitedly, beaming at her and all of his anxiety seemed to have vanished in that one word (or was it her smile).
"This is going to happen in a year!" Bella just realized, she would be becoming a mother in a year... she wasn't sure if she really could handle that.
"It doesn't have to," Edward said pulling her closer to him, trying to calm her down. Bella looked at him, trying to be reassured by his words, but Edward's expression was guarded.
"You want this to happen like it does in the book, don't you?" Bella whispered at him.
"Well, sort of, but I don't want you to feel pressured... we can wait a few years if you want to," Edward said softly.
"Okay, but why do you prefer it this way?" Bella questioned.
Edward sighed, but she wasn't going to let him deflect this topic. "Because I want to meet her..."
"Her?" Bella said, so they weren't having a boy.
"Yes," Edward smiled, well aware that she would be thinking about a boy.
"Tell me about her, Edward," Bella requested, leaning against his chest. "I want to be able to picture her."
"She has your eyes," Edward said and she could hear the pride in his voice as he said this. "You don't know how happy I am that I'll still be able to see those lovely brown eyes of yours."
"Hm..." Bella smiled as she watched how excited he seemed to be talking about their child. She of course would have loved to see the shade of green eyes that Edward had when he was still human, but she couldn't help but be happy that Edward got his wish.
"She has my hair, though you mentioned that she had Charlie's curls," Edward's voice sounded awed and amused as he talked. "I'm not quite sure how she looks though, for I think she looks like you and you think she looks like me... I'm really looking forward to se..." he stopped there and gave Bella apologizing look. "I didn't mean to say that."
"It's okay," Bella smiled at him. "I'm looking forward to seeing her, too. Edward... Were you really worried that I wouldn't want your child?"
"You didn't seem to think about having children, and seeing how adverse you are to marriage at such a young age... yes, I was a little worried," Edward sighed.
"I suppose you had a point," Bella sighed too. "I never really thought about having a child until I met you. And I've been trying not to think of children since the end of the last book and I thought of a bronze haired little boy that looked just like his father..."
"You thought of that in the last book?" Edward questioned, looking shocked.
"Hm..." Bella answered, not going to mention that it was after her book self's deepest betrayal. "I've been worried this whole book about what that image would do to me... if I would always long to have a child that I could never have with you."
Edward was silent for a while as he processed this. "I wish you would have told me you were feeling this way."
"So do I now," Bella snuggled closer to him. "It would have saved me from worrying so much. But I didn't want to put that on you... not when I know that I can be happy with you."
Edward sighed sadly.
"But it's okay now, Edward, because now I can get everything... everything's perfect," Bella smiled at him and Edward had to smile back. He didn't have to think about the 'what if's and things that never are going to happen. Bella started reading again at this point. Smiling as she called the baby her little nudger. It was unnerving that the baby was growing so fast but it was a unique pregnancy between two different species, it should be expected that things would happen in unpredictable ways.
"Oh," Bella sighed and looked at Edward, who was looking down. "You thought the baby would be dangerous."
"I'm sorry," Edward sighed. "I thought that it was a monster and it was going to kill you."
"Then I guess it's lucky that I'm already in love with her," Bella said, holding Edward close to her. "It's going to be a hard pregnancy, isn't it?"
"Yes," Edward said, "and I can't say that I'm not afraid of what is going to happen in our reality... it's very dangerous..."
"That's not going to stop me," Bella informed him. "You've already filled my head with images of our little girl and I want her now."
"Good," Edward smiled and kissed her. "Just don't think too badly of me for how I'm going to act for a solid portion of this book."
"I'll try to keep that in mind," Bella said before she started reading the book again. She frowned when the cleaning people came back and the lady, Kaure, was telling Edward that he was a monster. Okay, it was nice that the lady cared so much about her safety to stand up to a vampire, but did she really have to make Edward feel worse than he already was... that he was a real villain for what he did?
"Is this why Rosalie likes me now?" Bella asked as she read about her phone call to Edward's sister, the one vampire she knew that would help her in this situation. "Because I have a baby?"
"I won't lie, if it wasn't for this, I doubt Rose would have wanted me to meet you," Edward said softly. "But that's because she liked you enough that she wanted you to live a real life. I know... you wouldn't choose that life, but for Rose... she would give up everything to be able to have a child and watch that child grow... ageing along with it.
"But that doesn't mean that Rose didn't like you for you, Bella. She's impressed by all the ways that you tried to protect our family. She liked you long before this issue was brought up," Edward assured her.
"And if I decided that I don't want to have a child?" Bella found herself asking.
"Oh... she'd hate you forever," Edward chuckled. "And that's in the literal sense of the word."
"Hm... then I suppose it's a good thing I want to have your baby," Bella smiled at him. "And I have a feeling it's a good thing that she was here... keeping me safe from your pessimism."
"You got that right," Edward chuckled. "This is a pretty good place to take a break, are you hungry yet?"
"Sure," Bella said and got up to make herself something for lunch.
A/N: Okay, so once again I just didn't get as far as I wanted to. It's just too difficult writing this, so I'm going to splitting this book up into three parts. Sorry about that.