Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.
A/N: I'm just going to say this here. Once again I haven't gone as far as I hoped I would. It was just so hard to sit down and write this at the moment. So now this book will be broken into four parts. The good news though is that you'll get one more week of double updates, for I'm going to post a new chapter on Friday, then Tuesday and then Friday again. I refuse to get two weeks behind where I wanted to be. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter.
Thanks to katmom and Angelinia, who beta this story for me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Reading Breaking Dawn Part Three
As Bella started the last and final part of the last book, she groaned as she always did at the preface. She really hated all of the prefaces, and this one seemed worse than all of the others, for it made one thing clear; the Volturi were coming, and they were likely going to try and kill them all. She moved on to the next chapter and sighed at the title, knowing that she was going to be in a lot of pain and Edward wasn't going to like that. She flinched and yet was pleased when the chapter started with their daughter's birth. Flinching because it meant that there was more pain in the book for both Edward and her to hear and pleased because she really was wondering what she was thinking of when she gave birth.
Then Renesmee was born and she was looking at her daughter for the first time and she couldn't stop smiling, she really couldn't wait to meet her daughter. Suddenly her daughter was gone and she was struggling to survive... trying to fight to survive. Thinking about Edward and then the others to draw strength from and cringing when her book self didn't think it was enough… when she couldn't pull a single image of her family... of Edward to hold on to. And then she was thinking about Renesmee... of holding her little girl and it was enough.
Then she was burning... and she knew she couldn't really imagine the bad that she was going through... that she would not be able to understand until it is actually happening to her, but Edward obviously understood. His hands tightened around her and she didn't want to look up at him for she knew he would be in pain... that he wished there was some way to keep her from this pain.
"The morphine is going to make it so I can't move... at all!" Bella said surprised and looking at Edward.
As she had expected, Edward was looking regretful, "I'm so sorry you have to go through that."
"It's my choice, Edward," Bella said. "And to be with you I'll take it every time."
"But you don't have to have the morphine," Edward said, "It's not going to help you."
"No," Bella said, "but would it help you..."
Edward sighed, "It can't help me now... I know you're going to be in pain no matter what... if you're unable to move... it will just make me wonder how much pain you're really in."
"I still think it would be hard on me to see how you're going to take this," Bella mumbled softly, not looking at his face.
"I want to hold you... to comfort you... I can't do that if you're frozen," Edward said. "You're right, it's going to be almost as painful for me watching you go through this as it was actually going through the transformation myself, but if I'm there for you... maybe... just maybe it will help you."
"Edward..." Bella said leaning her head on his shoulder.
"I know I can't prevent you from burning, but that doesn't mean I can't try and comfort you," Edward said. His voice was tight as he tried not to think of her going through this and failing miserably. "Please, let me do that."
"Okay," Bella nodded, wondering if she would be able to find it in her to not scream... not show just how painful it will be for her, so she could spare Edward as much pain as possible.
She went back to reading her book after that and the more she read the less likely it seemed. Of course, the fact that she was able to stop herself from moving or screaming after the morphine wore off she had more hope, but could tell it will be a terrible struggle to try and do that. She sighed when she realized how her not moving had affected Edward, how he thought that he did something wrong, but she knew her book self was right in staying still. Edward was a lot happier not knowing how much she was hurting. She almost wished that her Edward didn't know, that she could spare him, but obviously that was never going to happen and she found she liked the idea of him holding her.
"I take it Carlisle is talking about Jacob imprinting on Renesmee here," Bella grimaced as she read.
"Yes... and of how Rosalie and Jacob are fighting over who gets to look after Renesmee," Edward chuckled. "So which side would you be on?"
"I'd be on whatever side that means that I can get to hold my baby," Bella grumbled.
"I like that side," Edward chuckled. "Just as long as I get some time with her too..."
"Of course, Edward," Bella said looking at him a little shocked that he wouldn't know she meant the both of them. Edward just smiled at her expression and kissed her nose.
Bella turned back to the book and continued reading. She was interested when Alice came in and explained how her powers worked... how she was only able to see vampires and humans because she was and had been that, but she couldn't see the wolves because she wasn't one of them. It was interesting, though of course she was clinging to this topic so she didn't have to think of the pain her book self was in. Once Alice was gone the pain was changing and her heart was beating at a tremendous pace until it stopped... and she was a vampire.
Bella quickly changed the page to see what was going to happen next. Now that the pain was over with she was dying to see what she thought of being a vampire... how hard it was going to be for her... how easy? It felt so odd reading about the difference... how much things had changed... how much more vampires see, feel... experience in a short amount of time. She couldn't wait until she was experiencing this, the only thing that she was wary of with the mention of her throat burning, but she could live with that if she must.
She was shocked by her reaction to Edward's touch. It was hard to believe that his hand would ever not be cold to her, but she should have realized as soon as she was a vampire it wouldn't have been... that her own skin would be the same temperature as his.
"Why am I the danger?" Bella mumbled. "Did you expect that I would attack you or something?"
"We couldn't be sure how you would react," Edward said. "Carlisle has been through this four different times, myself three, and I can tell you that each time was different."
"And did any of them attack anyone?" Bella questioned.
"Of course not," Edward chuckled, "but Jasper had seen it happen before and it wasn't pretty..."
Bella nodded her head and then went back to reading. And then almost immediately she looked back at Edward. She read that she couldn't really see the perfection that was Edward, and she didn't know how it could be true, but knowing it was. She found herself wishing she could see that... that it would be possible, but she knew she would have to wait. She turned back to the book with a sigh and started reading again.
She groaned when she said she couldn't remember seeing her daughter's face... that her human memories were foggy. She knew it was going to happen, but she didn't know there was something that she would want to remember so much. She really hoped that her book self would see Renesmee soon, knowing that it had to be hard on her not knowing.
She smiled as she read about her still strong desire for Edward, for the fact that she didn't have to lose that when she transformed. She could feel by the way that Edward was making patterns on her arm that he was very smug about this fact too and she turned to smiled at him. She stayed liked that, but the need to know what happened was too strong to ignore and she had to read the book again. Soon, however, she was frowning right before she was giggling, "I guess I'm going to be stronger than you when I first turn."
"Yeah, that's going to be something for you to get used to," Edward chuckled.
Again she was smiling as she continued to read and she longed to be a vampire already so that she could feel what it was like to have Edward really kiss her. However, there were things that she wanted to happen before she turned so she was just going to have to be patient. She turned and read as she, just like her book self, remembered that the Cullens were there (and she remembered they had read this book).
"I wish I could have lied to you about this," Bella said when Carlisle questioned her about the morphine.
"I can't say that I'm glad that you can't, but I will say it can't be helped," Edward sighed.
She was surprised when her book self said that she didn't notice the burning until Carlisle described it. It was odd thinking that she needed a reminder like that, she was sure that wasn't something she was supposed to be reminded of.
"We were all shocked when we read this," Edward informed her when he noticed how shocked she seemed to be. "All of us... the first thing we remember is the burn in our throat... the need to hunt."
"Oh," Bella said, not really sure what it meant, but smiling anyway. She turned back to the book to read more. She sighed as again she thought of her child and was unable to think of her as real. She wanted to see her daughter, and didn't understand why they wouldn't just let her see Renesmee. But no, Edward wanted to take her hunting, and Alice wanted to show her what she looked like. Coming into the room with a huge mirror she rolled her eyes at that. She gasped when she read Jasper's description, feeling bad for her brother that had been attacked so much that his scars stood out to all vampires.
Then she was looking at the mirror and she smiled when her book self thought that she was beautiful, it was a shallow thought, but she had been so used to being around the Cullens, each one of them so lovely that it was nice to look like she belonged. Then when it mentioned the horror, she again agreed with herself. She wasn't looking forward to having bright red eyes... marking her as a monster.
She was just as confused as her book self was when Jasper questioned how she controlled her emotions, wasn't that a good thing? But Jasper seemed to be unnerved by it and she was afraid of what that meant.
"Jerk," Bella huffed, looking at Edward. "Making me think that you didn't like how I looked as a vampire..."
"Sorry," Edward chuckled. "But it seems like you appreciated that I still couldn't read you mind."
"That is nice," Bella admitted.
Then she was moving on to the next chapter and she felt herself get excited, she really was wondering what the hunting trips that Edward always went on were like. She was curious why they would take the window too, and sighed when Edward mentioned Renesmee and Jacob. Knowing that it would be safer for her to at least hunt first for she didn't want to be a danger to her daughter. It was horrible to think that she might think of her daughter as... she shook her head, not letting that sentence finish forming. She huffed indignantly when it mentioned Jacob not liking Renesmee; as if.
"Why did Alice dress me like that?" Bella groaned when she read that part.
"She's Alice," Edward shrugged, as if this was all he needed to say. "And maybe she knew what you were thinking about when I took you to prom, and thought you wanted to wear something formal when you were turned."
"Well, I don't," Bella groaned. "Especially if I'm just going to go hunting, put me in jeans and a t-shirt please."
"I'll remember that," Edward chuckled and Bella went back to reading.
She thought briefly of being the only clumsy vampire in existence, and serious hoped that wasn't the case... she had Emmett laughing at her enough as it is. She smiled when the leap was all too easy to make and was beaming when Edward said that she was graceful. And chuckled as Alice grumbled about her fashion sense.
She found her abilities fascinating... how far she could jump, how fast she could run. She smiled when she was outrunning Edward; knowing that he was supposed to be the fastest. She knew it wouldn't last, but it did make her a bit smug thinking that she could beat him. Then he was asking her to stop, so that they could start hunting. She listened closely as he informed her how she was to hunt this elk. How she was supposed to listen to them first... how she had to focus on the sound of the animals and drown out everything else. Then she was supposed to smell the animals, again she was smelling everything that was around her first and she had to focus on what she was looking for.
"Are animals really that unappealing to you?" Bella frowned.
"Yes," Edward sighed. "It's not easy being a vegetarian, but it's worth it."
"Of course," Bella nodded her head, and then continued to read.
She shivered when the wind changed and she was chasing something that made her move without even thinking. She knew what it would be before her book self thought of it and she felt sick. She couldn't even last a day before she was hunting humans... but Edward was there... surely he would stop her! Right? Then she was shivering again, realizing the way that she was viewing Edward as a threat... that she was growling at him... that she was about to attack him. None of that was right and she was happy when she ran away from him. Then she sighed in relief when she was running away. She wasn't going to go after those people and she wasn't going to fight with Edward.
"Do you realize how amazing it was that you were able to do that?" Edward whispered to her and she shook her head. "Not one of us would have been able to stop ourselves from the hunt like that..."
"Not even Carlisle?" Bella questioned.
"I can't be a hundred percent sure, for of course he never faced anyone during a hunt like this before, but yes, I think even Carlisle would find it impossible to stop," Edward said.
"Wow," Bella said, shocked by her control. "Do you think I'll have the same amount of control when I'm turned?"
"Probably," Edward said.
Bella started reading again, and soon enough she was glaring at Edward. She had honestly believed that she had been faster than Edward and now it seems he was just letting her win, argh... that's annoying. Of course that didn't really matter so she just pressed on reading. She read as Edward explained that she wasn't supposed to be able to do, that it was like she was decades old not days. She felt smug, but she listened to what her book self had thought; But I'd known it was going to be hard. That was why I'd been so on guard. She vowed not to take this lightly just because she heard that it would be easy for her. She didn't want to let some kind of slip up happen because she was overconfident about her abilities.
Then she was off hunting again, this time a mountain lion and it was clawing at her, but unable to hurt her. By the time she was finished with the lion she was a bloody mess.
"So you're still going to worry about me when I become a vampire," Bella said after Edward had said that he was having an anxiety attack watching her fight a lion.
"I don't know," Edward sighed. "For a while at least I think I'm going to be even more neurotic in trying to keep you safe than even Jasper is with Alice."
"Well, I don't think you have to worry," Bella said.
"Of course not, but it will still be hard for me to see that you're in danger and not do anything to stop it, even knowing that nothing could hurt you then," Edward shrugged.
She went back to reading and smiled when she read what Edward looked like when he was hunting, she really wanted to see what that was like. She loved her thoughts about Edward, of how much she wanted him still... how the feel of his body made her want him to her core. No, she wouldn't mind at all if her only ability was to love Edward. Still, as much as she wanted to hear about her feelings for Edward, she did want to hear about her daughter more.
She moved on excitedly to the next chapter, hoping it would start right away with her meeting her daughter, but it didn't of course. It started where it left off in the last chapter, but that was okay, because she loved reading about Edward describing their child. It was similar to the way he had earlier today, but there was more to it... this Edward had really met the baby and so knew her so much more.
She grimaced when she got to the part where Edward mentioned Jacob, what the hell were they going to do about it? She didn't really want to come up with any conclusions until hearing more, but as things were right now, she was going to wait a few years... perhaps ten or more... let her daughter at least finish grade school before there was someone devoted to her. But she wasn't going to make up her mind until she was finished reading this book.
Her bitter thoughts about Jacob imprinting on her daughter didn't stop her from getting tense when she heard that Jacob was willing to test her control with himself. She had to admit in that second that his caution and willingness to put himself in danger to protect her daughter was a point in his favor. She was also pleased when he didn't smell anything like food... though she wasn't looking forward to the fact that he would smell bad, it was nice to know that she would never feel like hunting him or any of the other wolves. When Emmett chuckled from the house when she was still outside talking to Jacob, she wondered how her book self was going to take the news that Jacob had imprinted on her daughter. Judging by her own angry reaction, it wasn't going to be pretty. The point that Jacob had gotten had almost immediately disappeared when he wondered if it was okay if she could see her own daughter. What right did he have to tell her what to do? If Edward thought she was ready, that should be good enough for everyone else!
"She's still growing fast!" Bella said surprised.
"Oh... it looks like I forget to tell you that," Edward sighed. "Yes, she is still going to grow and develop very fast."
"But she's going to be alright, right?" Bella said. "How long will she be growing?"
"In seven years she'll be an adult," Edward sighed, but then smiled, "and after that she'll stop ageing."
"Seven years," Bella sighed, there goes her ten year plan. It seemed that Renesmee would physically look like she was ten in just a few years. It was sad to think that she would have such a short time with her daughter being little. However, she thought of her own relationship with her mum and she knew that it only grew the older she got. Though it would be sad that Renesmee wouldn't have a normal childhood, it was okay, for all that really mattered was she was going to be okay in the end.
"I know," Edward sighed too and Bella looked up and knew he was thinking the same thing as her.
She started reading again. Though she didn't like being thought of as a threat, she loved that her family was so quick to protect her daughter. It was nice knowing that there were so many people willing to help her. She was even happier when she heard that Renesmee's scent didn't make her thirsty... that she smelled enough like a vampire that she didn't have to worry about hurting her.
"Did you really have to make it seem like I hunted humans?" Bella grumbled.
"I didn't have to," Edward chuckled. "It was just funny."
"Yeah, hilarious," Bella rolled her eyes and then started reading again.
She again was smiling when she read that Renesmee wanted her and then she was annoyed because Jacob was hesitating to give her Renesmee... it was so annoying that he thought that he had the right... she was the baby's mother after all, she had the right to hold her child! Of course then she was and her irritation vanished.
"Whoa, what is that?" Bella asked when she saw the vision that Renesmee shared with her.
"Our daughter is very gifted," Edward smiled.
"I'd say," Bella said.
"She was showing you her memories of what happened," Edward smiled, "it seems that she's able to project her thoughts into other people's minds whenever she touches them."
"Wow," Bella said, "... but wait... how does that work on me... I thought my mind was safe?"
Edward chuckled. "It seems like you came to that conclusion a lot quicker than your book self did."
"That doesn't really explain how that happened," Bella said, though she felt a little smug.
"My book self thinks it's because Renesmee is irresistible," Edward explained. "That there is nothing that could keep her out."
"Okay," Bella said, feeling better about that and then smiled as she went back to the book. She smiled brighter when she read that she could now connect with her daughter... that she was no longer a stranger, but back to being her little nudger.
Bella groaned when Jacob again made his presence known, telling her not to push her luck. It was so annoying that he was interfering when all she wanted was to connect with her daughter. Then her book self realized what was going on and she was giving Rose the baby. She couldn't help but smile when she was glaring at Jacob... angrily. It didn't matter that he was trying to use her words against her, saying that they were always supposed to be in each other's lives. Now wasn't really the time for that. She didn't blame herself at all for lunging at Jacob after learning of the nickname he called her daughter.
"Our daughter's nickname will not be Nessie!" Bella said firmly and didn't appreciate that Edward's lips were thin. "What?"
"Well it's just... um... we're sort of used to the name already," Edward shrugged.
"Well then get un-used to it!" Bella huffed. "Honestly, there are plenty of other nicknames to call her other than Nessie!"
"Emmett's favorite is little nudger," Edward said.
Bella blushed, liking the fact that it was her private nickname for her daughter, but the truth was that she liked the idea of calling her daughter that rather than Nessie. "We'll see."
"Yes, we will," Edward chuckled, "and I just have to warn you that Nessie will grow on you."
"That's just fantastic," Bella groaned before going on to the next chapter.
"I attacked Seth!" Bella moaned miserably; at the moment that was the last wolf in the world she would want to hurt.
"Unfortunately..." Edward sighed, "But it probably helped you control yourself... and it's a good thing you didn't actually get your hands on Jacob for who knows what you would have done."
"Yeah," Bella flinched, realizing that she likely would really have hurt him, and knowing that she didn't really want that. "But it still sucks that Seth had to get hurt."
"I know," Edward agreed.
She read on and said, "Argh, you could at least let me apologize."
"But you didn't really do anything..." Edward said.
"Of course I did," Bella rolled her eyes.
"Okay... if this happens in our reality, I'll let you apologize," Edward said, knowing that it might ease her mind a little if she was allowed to apologize even if the apology was otherwise useless.
"Venom is poison to the wolves!" Bella exclaimed.
"Yeah... the wolves would much rather die than turn into one of us," Edward said.
"I suppose that makes sense, but it's kind of dangerous to them too... I mean all you would have to do to defeat the wolves was bite them and they're dead," Bella said, shivering at the idea.
"I don't think it works quite that fast," Edward said, "but yes, it is dangerous to them. However, our kind doesn't really feel inclined to bite the wolves... they just smell so bad."
"I suppose," Bella said and then started reading again.
"Hm... so if the pack ever had a problem with me having a baby we can just tell them that Jacob would imprint on her and that will make sure the wolves would never bother us," Bella noted after reading that part in the book and Edward nodded his head. "Do you think they will be okay if I was transformed then... knowing that it was the only way I could have the baby and still exist... in some way at least?"
"Well, when you put it like that, I'm sure they would be," Edward said. "But that's only if they know about this... if you actually want to tell them."
"Good point... I'm not sure I do," Bella frowned. "But then again, it might help the relationship your family has with them... wouldn't that be important?"
"Yes, but we're okay with the way things are now," Edward said. "We can talk about this later... after you know everything."
"Okay," Bella agreed to that and then started reading again. She found it intriguing that the Alpha's could hear each other, at least when they were directing their thoughts to one another when they were in their wolf forms.
"Do you think that the book Jacob would have accepted me for who I was if he didn't imprint on Renesmee?" Bella questioned.
"I can't really know that, but it seems likely," Edward said. "You're still Bella, even more so than any of us thought you would be at this time... he would have seen that I'm sure."
She kept reading as her book self thought about Jacob and what she had once said to him, agreeing with indignation and snorting at the thought that whoever he would imprint on wouldn't be good enough... as if... she was too good for him... for anyone. At that thought though, a part of her was able to think that if her daughter had to like someone (and at such a young age) it was best it was with someone she got along with... that she really cared about. Grumbling in annoyance at her own thoughts, she read on.
She was curious when Carlisle started measuring Renesmee and wondered what was really going on. She realized, a bit slowly, that none of them in the book knew what was going on with her... that they were worried about how fast she was growing. She sighed, knowing that this worry was going to be a predominate part of the book. She was just happy that Edward said that she was going to be okay, or she would have been worried the whole time too. She read on, again annoyed at Jacob's overbearing mother routine, knowing for sure that she wasn't going to put up with him being around if he was going to act like that. Then again, he wouldn't really react like that if he knew Renesmee wasn't in any danger; at least Quil didn't seem to be like that with Claire...
She sighed when Renesmee showed her the attack that she had just made against Jacob, and how she was happy that Jacob wasn't hurt... how Renesmee thought of him as being hers. She was wondering if it was really right for her to keep her daughter away from someone like Jacob was going to be to her... was it right to keep Jacob away from her daughter? She wasn't sure... it was all confusing and she didn't like any of this.
She was glad when she started reading the book again that it was about Renesmee showing her everything that she had missed the last few days. She liked the idea that her daughter wanted her to know that. She was wary when Renesmee showed her feeding, and was relieved when it was just a false alarm, that she was okay. She was a little worried about Jasper when he left, wondering if he was going be okay, and she felt badly for making him question himself.
"Do you really think that's my power... self control?" Bella said.
"Bella, I know what your power is," Edward rolled his eyes. "Though I'm not sure this is a special ability... I tend to think it's mostly because you were aware of what was going to happen and because you've always had a good control over your emotions... you tend to control yourself better than most humans, it stands to reason that you have that same control as a vampire."
Bella went back to reading, listening to what Renesmee thought and smiled when she found she could see her daughter's dreams. She was a bit smug that she was in her daughter's dreams so much but she was unhappy that Edward wasn't... that their daughter dreamed more of Jacob than Edward. Then Alice came back and she found out that it was her nineteenth birthday.
She read the next chapter, sighing when she read Edward and Alice fighting over whose present she opened first... as if it really mattered to her. She realized what Edward was going to show her easily enough and was glad that Alice was going to get to go first; she couldn't care less about a car. Now she rolled her eyes at Alice's theatrics... did she really need to be blindfolded?
As she read about the house her eyes lit up. She never really thought about it... where she would like to live with Edward... or living with him alone somewhere. Actually she had just assumed that they would be staying at the Cullens' house, but this was so much better. She seemed to be falling in love with the little cottage that would be perfect for her and Edward... and it even had a room for Renesmee. She loved the description of their room too, from the hidden garden to the fact that it had reminders of Isle Esme.
Again she found herself getting impatient to be a vampire already... the more she read about being a vampire the more she wanted to be one... it seemed like she was waiting now for her life to really begin. But she would be patient, let things happen the way they are supposed so she wouldn't miss anything important... anything that made this life perfect.
"Is it really that hard for you when you kiss me?" Bella asked, smiling and yet sad about Edward talking about her being a vampire. Smiling, because he seemed truly happy that she was turned, and sad because she was only human now.
"Yes and no," Edward answered cryptically and she rolled her eyes at him. He chuckled before saying, "Yes, my throat burns whenever I kiss you... but that doesn't mean that I don't love kissing you... That it isn't the best feeling in the world when I kiss you."
"Hm... okay," Bella said blushing and she blushed even more with the next conversation about when her need to be with Edward was going to loosen and he told her it was all about finding balance. She had to admit she never really thought about what the Cullens did at night.
She read on to the next chapter, rolling her eyes at the 'closet' that Alice had made for them. Like she needed anything like that, though she did like how Edward showed her how to identify the different types of clothing. Though she liked reading about her time alone with Edward she also liked reading about Renesmee, so she was okay with going back to the Cullens' house. She smiled as she read about Renesmee playing with the spoons and everything seemed perfect, she could have done without Emmett's comments about what she and Edward were doing last night, though at least she was able to keep her temper. However, when Alice came grumbling about Jacob doing something that made the future blank, she got tense. She didn't like where this was going at all and felt even worse when she learned that Charlie was going to come over.
"I'm not going to hurt him, am I?" she looked immediately at Edward, the panic clear in her eyes so there was no question about him answering her with a smile and whisper, "of course not."
Bella let out a relieved breath, but that didn't stop her from being angry. "How could he gamble with Charlie's safety like that?"
"I believe he was under the impression that you wouldn't hurt him," Edward sighed. "Which, of course, he was right, but that doesn't excuse the fact that something terrible could have happened. He was ignorant of how much this would hurt you because you seemed so controlled."
"Hmph," Bella huffed.
"And he believed that we were going to leave and take Renesmee with us," Edward added.
"Hmph," Bella repeated, that didn't really help her mood right now.
She started reading again, not very happy at all about what was going on. She hated Jacob's cocky attitude... as if he did something great, what a freaking jerk.
"HE DID WHAT?" Bella exclaimed, looking shocked and white. "How could he just phase in front of Charlie? Doesn't he realize how impossible it is to take seeing something like that? Charlie could have had a heart attack."
Bella continued to rumble on and Edward tried his best to soothe her, it worked, though it took a while for her to cool down.
"What do you have to say about this?" Bella said, looking at Edward, noticing that he didn't really agree with her at any point.
"If you want to keep your dad in your life, this might be the best option," Edward sighed, "though of course we can hope to find an easier way to inform him of this than having Jacob phase in front of him."
Bella's eyes were narrowed as she turned back to the book to read. However, she did have to admit that knowing that she wasn't going to hurt Charlie and hearing about Jacob's explanation... especially about the part where her dad didn't want to know more about the supernatural stuff seemed good. It was nice to know that Charlie could be part of her life still.
Then she was preparing to look as human as possible for Charlie, putting in brown contacts and learning how to fidget like humans do... it was really odd hearing about that. Then Edward was explaining the situation to Renesmee, telling her she couldn't bite Charlie or show him her thoughts like she does to everyone else. Then he was there and she was holding her breath, as she had read Edward do in Midnight Sun, trying not to be overrun by Charlie's scent. Of course that couldn't last forever, she had to talk to her dad, but Edward was holding on to her and she was able to stiffen her body before she was breathing...
She cringed at the pain, and worse, the longing she had when she inhaled Charlie's scent... it was hard to read that he was mouthwatering to her... it was just so wrong. And yet she was pleased, she wasn't attacking him, even though the scent was so tempting, she didn't do anything at all to hurt him. She was even able to have a conversation with him.
Then the attention was on Renesmee and she wondered how Edward came up with a story so quickly to describe where she came from. Of course the story didn't matter at all as soon as Charlie saw Renesmee's eyes and knew she had to be her real daughter, even if the math didn't work in any way a human could comprehend... she was still having trouble with it.
"She can really understand... even though she's just a few days old," Bella said.
"Yes, she is quite the learner," Edward smiled smugly.
Though she was quite pleased by Emmett's interruption she could have done without the double entendres. She moved on to the next chapter quickly, sighing when she realized it would be difficult to keep her mom in the loop as well, but hoping she could figure some way to do it. Surely they weren't in as much danger as they were in the books because the Volturi didn't even know she existed. She shivered as soon as she thought of the Volturi and quickly read on. She rolled her eyes when she read that Emmett kept on teasing her... pushing her buttons when she was already having a stressful enough time. That didn't mean she was unable to smile when she read about how much her dad seemed to like Renesmee, it was nice to see him like that. She also liked Renesmee's middle name, Carlie.
She smirked when Edward reminded her of the challenge she was supposed to make with Emmett, he really needed to get beat for all the comments he was making and she kind of really liked it that she was the one that was going to do it.
"I wish that I can really have won that bet," Bella said when she read about the terms of the arm wrestling match that she was about to have. Then she frowned, trying to think of a time that Emmett had ever said anything inappropriate in front of her.
"Jasper and Emmett obviously made a bet on the outcome of this fight," Edward said when he noticed her confused expression. "And Jasper made it so the terms of this bet would be upheld if he... or I should say, you, won."
"So basically Emmett isn't allowed to tease me about our..." Bella said starting to blush.
"Exactly," Edward said pinching the bridge of his nose, "me on the other hand... I've had to suffer through many forms of teasing from my dear brother."
Bella just chuckled at that before she started reading again. Smiled even more smugly when she read about how very easy it was for her to win the contest.
"What am I doing?" Bella questioned when she was punching the rock to dusk.
"Having a little fun it seems," Edward chuckled. "It is quite amazing discovering just how strong you are when you first turn."
Bella shook her head and went back to reading, finding herself smiling more than ever as she read about Renesmee's attempts to destroy her own piece of rock. And then the sun was coming up and she was seeing Edward in the light and of course it was different than it was when she was human and of course she wouldn't really understand the difference until she was a vampire. And Renesmee definitely looked different in the sun, but it wasn't so much that it would keep her from being around humans when it was sunny. And she loved the ending of this chapter... it just confirmed her theory that she was always supposed to be a vampire.
"I think that's enough for the night," Edward said and she looked at the clock and realized how late it was. She sighed, but agreed with him. She was just going to have to find out what was going to happen tomorrow... she expected it was going to be dangerous whatever it was for Edward to stop her like this.
She woke up early, ate quickly and dove into the book again as soon as she sat down on the couch.
The chapter started with it skipping ahead three months and describing how things worked out. Describing the people that were important to her and how they were able to still be in her life. She smiled as she read all of this, how everything just seemed to be perfect. Though it was still a little sad reading about how fast Renesmee was growing... the advantage was that she didn't have to worry like her book self did that she would grow old in fifteen years. She knew she would have her daughter forever so it wasn't hard to read this part.
"Do you think it would have hurt her if she was bit by one of us," Bella questioned, paling at her own question.
"I have no idea," Edward sighed. "Part of me wants to say no, but at the same time I can't be sure. I'm sure Carlisle will be happy to run some tests to check that out."
"Okay," Bella smiled at the thought and then continued to read. Reading about the trip they planned on going on to try to figure out the roots of what Kaure was talking about. Then they were talking about a much darker trip... one where she was going to have to see the Volturi... alone. It was her book self's idea to go alone and she quite agreed with it, but that didn't mean that she wasn't terrified of the idea of going there... facing the monsters all by herself. However, it was the only way to protect Renesmee from them and she knew that was very important. Of course Edward didn't agree with her but that wasn't going to change her mind. Still, she found herself yet again wondering what was going to happen when she met the Volturi in real life... a thought that made her shiver.
She grumbled when she was on a hunting trip with Jacob and Renesmee. She was sort of upset because she could kind of see the plus side of having Jacob around... she could see that Renesmee would like having him around. It was hard thinking about this so she carried on reading, almost smiling when she spotted the strange blonde vampire in the tree, figuring it would be Irina, but she noticed that Edward stiffened. Worry filled her, was she wrong... was this vampire going to attack her family or something? But no, she was leaving... after growling... so what was the matter?
"Edward...?" Bella asked slightly worried.
"Just keep reading," Edward said softly and she did as she was told, the chapter ending with the Cullens trying to find their cousin.
She was tense as she moved on to the next chapter, as she read that Irina had vanished and her guilt over that happening. She wasn't feeling as guilty as she read though... she felt nervous... knowing something terrible was coming. The chapter moved on to talk about the trip to the Amazon they were planning, but this did little to stop her from worrying and she shuddered when Alice dropped the vase.
"The Volturi!" Bella groaned.
"Don't worry... we will make sure this never happens," Edward said soothing her.
"This, maybe not, but that doesn't mean that nothing is going to happen," Bella said. "This isn't some enemy that you and your family could go out to fight..."
"No, it's not," Edward sighed. "But they don't know about us, and therefore will not be a threat to us."
"As long as they don't know about us," Bella said. "But that doesn't mean that as soon as they find out about us that something like this will happen."
Edward's eyes grew sad, "I know... but for right now, we are safe..."
Bell sighed and then went back to reading. This threat seemed to scare her to her core as she read on... finding out they only had little more than a month. Learning that all of the Volturi, every single member was going to be coming. But the worst part was reading that they were coming because they believed that Renesmee was an immortal child... that they were going to pay for something that they didn't even do... and that it was Irina that had told on them. She looked at Edward after reading this and he was pinching the bridge of his nose.
"As you can imagine, it was hard for us to read this part," Edward said in a grave tone, though his mind was also on what was to become of Irina in the end. "This was why I would have liked to have just killed Laurent so that I was sure there would be no future danger..."
"I'm not sure that would have been right," Bella found herself mumbling, confusing herself a little. For right now all she could think of was keeping her daughter and family safe.
"Hm... Esme didn't think it was either," Edward sighed. "She thought that this should mean that Irina and Laurent were mates and it was wrong for us to prevent her from meeting him. But that's beside the point now, the important thing is that we are not going to let this happen. We're going to let our cousins know from the beginning about your pregnancy so that they don't ever get the wrong idea..."
"And they would be particularly prone to reacting this way because of their mother..." Bella sighed, remembering the story at the beginning of the books.
"Yes," Edward sighed, too. His eyes grew sad as he added, "that was extremely hard on them. I'm sure that Irina wouldn't have reacted that way if it weren't for Laurent, but we are still not going to take any chances with this."
Bella nodded her head, this discussion had in some ways alleviated her worries, but it didn't really make her feel better. She was numb as she continued to read, hating when Emmett talked about fighting, she didn't want her family fighting. And to bring others in... it made her shudder, and yet if it was going to save her child and her family it was all she could ask for. Besides, they weren't really planning on fighting, they were planning on stalling the Volturi... making them see that Renesmee wasn't a danger to them in any way.
She was wary of the way that Alice had left the house... she seemed to be keeping something from them and she didn't like it. But Jacob was coming, and they had to explain to him the terror that was coming for them all.