AN:

Sorry my peeps, but this chapter (cough-cough - filler!) has no nutritional value whatsoever! I've heard your complaints about fillers and this is the last one (Although how you could call Tora a filler chapter is beyond me!). The next chapter will be the start of a new arc. But this chapter is just a bit of character development for a future one… plus I just really get a kick out of writing Sai and Ino's mutual antagonism. My only excuse is… the devil made me do it! Oh and as if I could forget – Disclaimer – I do not make any money from Naruto…nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero, nani mo, rien, nichts, ingenting...

Chapter Twenty-Five:

Kajiarashi

Well, don't you know about the bird
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

~The Trashmen~

Four young people stood at the edge of the field getting free entertainment in the form of the two others arguing. Sai was ruffling Ino's hair as if she were a little kid. Judging the expression on her face, she was not too happy about it.

"Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Because I'll have you know, Sai Morino, I can go from zero to bitch in ten seconds. Say something stupid like that again and I'll show you what it really looks like." Ino threatened as she smacked Sai's hand away from messing up her hair further.

"I'm not crazy…my father had me tested; I simply asked if you were on your monthly cycle due to your short temper today. I did not insult you." Sai paused a second as a new thought occurred to him. "You know, come to think of it, I have read that women are sometimes called bitches when they are menstruating." In absolute seriousness, he asked curiously, "Are you a bitch?"

Naruto and Sasuke each took a very large step back. Sai might have been an excellent ninja, not to mention, taller and stronger than Ino, but they knew she played dirty when she was at a disadvantage so this was definitely going to be anyone's fight.

"I always did say he was nuttier than squirrel poo," whispered Naruto to Sasuke. "This just proves it."

"I think you might need to be retested…. and admitted. Now prepare to cry like a baby, Morino." Ino cracked her neck and stretched her arms as if she were a fighter getting ready to step into the ring.

"I do not understand. Why are you so worked up? I would not wish for you to break a nail or something, Yamanaka," responded the clueless teen.

"I'll show you how I break a nail!"

All anyone could do was stand by and watch as Ino flew at Sai like a spider monkey with the ability to do the body flicker technique. At first he had the upper hand, capturing her in a headlock and giving her the noogy from hell, but then he made a fatal error… he let her hands get loose. In a flash Ino slipped free and was clinging to Sai's back with her hands resting on his chest.

"Ahhhh," screamed Sai as Ino grabbed hold of his left nipple and twisted, dropping him to his knees.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my nails breaking."

Sasuke had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at his buddy's pain, but he had learned long ago that challenging Ino never ended well for her opponent. Naruto had no such compunctions… he laughed like a loon.

"Alright, alright" Sai groaned in pain. "You win." As soon as he said the magical words Ino let go, but not before getting in one last shot.

"Who's the bitch now?!"

Sasuke could see how much it pained Sai not to respond, but he probably knew what would happen to his other nipple if he did and wisely stayed quiet.

"Are you two finished yet?" asked Sasuke smugly. The war between Ino and Sai really amused him to no end, but Hinata was here.

…and he wanted her attention on him.

~~O~~

After Sakura's laughter finally died down, she looked at Naruto and had to ask, "I just don't get why you guys like him so much sometimes. He doesn't care about anybody's feelings. I don't think he even has any."

"Oh no, Sakura, you couldn't be anymore wrong. Sai cares so much; he always has. He never tries to hurt people. He's a good guy. It really bothers him a lot because he knows that he is different."

Sasuke shrugged and added, "He just has problems expressing his emotions properly. Also, he takes things at face value. If people say they aren't mad then he accepts it even though everyone can tell they really are angry. As a shinobi, he is excellent at reading body language, but he is completely at a loss when it comes to interpreting emotions. If you want him to know you are mad, then you just have to tell him."

Naruto laughed. "Plus, he totally doesn't get sarcasm."

Sakura frowned. "So why has Sai been acting that way? What did you do?"

"Why do you think I had anything to do with it?" Naruto asked with his most innocent expression.

Sakura just gave him a knowing look, tapped her foot, and waited.

Naruto couldn't quite hide the flush that eventually rose up from his collar. Finally he admitted, after being poked in the ribs by Sakura several times, that he and Sasuke told Sai a few things that weren't entirely truthful. "Well Sakura," he whined when she glared at him, "He was being so annoying. He said that because he's the oldest of the three of us, he would have to get a girlfriend first. He just didn't know how."

Sakura gaped at Naruto. "So you were the one who told him to put toenail clippings in her food and snakes in her bed?"

Naruto backpedaled away from her and hastily said, "No way, that was all Sasuke. I told him to give her one of his famous nicknames. I might have also mentioned that he should repeat everything she says as a question."

"You told Sai to call my best friend a diseased cow?!" she shrieked.

"Well…well… I didn't make up that name and side note…she did make him eat that big clod of dirt..."

"Yeah, after he short-sheeted her bed – with her still in it..." Sakura giggled at the memory of her friend's face when she shared that little tidbit. "How in the hell did he manage all that in the past few weeks?"

"What can I say, Sakura-chan…he learned from the best."

As Naruto continued to watch Ino and Sai fight, he began to feel a bit guilty. He turned his gaze on Sasuke and said, "You know, maybe we shouldn't have said anything to the Aho. It wasn't fair to her. Ino could get hurt or upset or something."

Sasuke glanced at Hinata with dark, unfathomable eyes before looking at him and replying, "Naruto, do not underestimate Ino. She is not the same little girl you knew at the Academy; none of them are. They are proud kunoichi of Konoha who trained under Anko. Never take them too lightly. It is disrespectful."

Naruto flushed in indignation. Damn him…throwing me under the wagon like that! How the hell can that teme make himself look so good in front of the girls and me so bad?! He sputtered, "Disrespectful…well you… that wasn't… I didn't… You teme!"

~~O~~

As the four settled down by the bank of the lake, Naruto suddenly perked up. "Oh hey, look at that! She's making him eat mud again." He yelled encouragement to Sai, "Don't swallow it this time!" He then gave a wink to the girls and commented, "You know, he really does like Ino."

Hinata's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Really?" she asked.

Naruto nodded, "Mmm hmm… and I'll tell you a secret… Ino likes him as well."

"You're crazy, Naruto Uzumaki," stated Sakura. "She would have told us if that were true."

"No-no, think about it, both of their parents are in torture and interrogation. Can you picture Anko and Ibiki being all mushy with each other?"

Hinata and Sakura exchanged wide-eyed glances before bursting into laughter. Sakura wiped the tears from her eyes and then admitted, "Good point, but why do you say that Ino is like that? Her dad is pretty normal."

"Well, I've never met her dad, but you know Ino, she would have put a stop to this a long time ago if it really bothered her."

"So we do nothing?" asked Hinata.

"Hey, they'll either kill each other or become a couple. Either way, it'll give us a lot of free entertainment." Naruto wandered off a bit and stared into space, deep in thought. As Sakura silently joined him, he murmured, "You know, people aren't always as…simple as you figure."

"Is that an observation or a warning?"

"Warning?"

"Maybe you're warning me because you know that you're not what you seem to be. You know… because of your furry problem."

After a long pause, he said, "Maybe."

After her own long pause, she replied, "I know, but I guess I don't care."

He gave her a small smile and then looked back at the two fighting in the mud. Sai looked like he was trying to kiss Ino now. "Told you," he smirked.

"He doesn't fight fair, you know."

"That's the truth; a ninja never fights fair. We only fight to win." He pointed at a slimy patch of mud and said, "Should we explain how cool a mud bath would be?"

"You're so mean." Sakura playfully punched the blonde and giggled at his exaggerated screams of pain. "So, are you going to show us or what?"

"Maybe…," he said with a serious expression and then added with a twinkle in his eyes, "If you can put a stop to the death match going on over there."

Sakura snickered and then yelled, "Hey Ino, as soon as you're done kicking the crap out of Sai, come on over. The boys are going to show us their summons."

"We're doing what?" asked Sasuke with an uncharacteristic note of panic in his voice. He moved over to Naruto and gritted out, "I need a word with you."

"What now?"

"Yes now."

"Now's not really a good time for me."

Sasuke clenched his hand and grabbed it with the other. Easily recognizing the beginnings of the Chidori jutsu, Naruto hastily said, "Hey Sakura, I'll be right back."

Sasuke yanked Naruto away from everyone and hissed, "You didn't tell me we were going to do that, dobe."

"Oh relax. You don't need to be so nervous."

Sasuke straightened haughtily, offended at Naruto's implication, and said arrogantly. "I am not nervous."

Naruto gave a smug look. "Hey Hinata," he said slyly, "Tell the teme here that you want to see his summons."

The poor girl blushed furiously at being put on the spot but nodded and asked, "Please Sasuke. I would really like to see it. That is if you really want to."

Sasuke glared at the grinning Naruto and then sighed. He stalked back to the group and stated, "I've only been able to summon it once… so it might not appear." No one missed the hopeful tone in his voice.

"What might not appear?" chirped Ino as she walked over to the group while dragging Sai by the ear. She released him and began to flick the drying mud off her shirt, shooting him the occasional glare.

"Sasuke's chicken summons."

"It is not a chicken."

"What is it?" asked Hinata.

"A bird…," Sasuke frowned. "I think."

"A bird is a chicken you Teme!" said Naruto, ignoring the other boy's frosty look.

Sai rubbed his painfully throbbing ear and commented, "I've always found that to be an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not all timid by nature… plus they are mean. I think that if Sasuke does not want to summon his creature then we should honor his wish and desist with any attempts to convince him otherwise."

Sakura and Ino gave him a curious look and Naruto explained, "Sai's a chicken too. He's afraid of them." He suddenly sniggered. "Should I tell them what happened?"

"No." Sai repressed the urge to strangle his brother. "If you really feel compelled to expose my childhood trauma to everyone, than at least let me be the one to do it." He took a deep breath and admitted, "When I was six, the neighbor's chicken had a habit of attacking its cage whenever I passed it by. One day it got loose and chased me up the big mulberry tree by my house. I was up there for hours until someone came and helped me."

"But Sai," said Ino with a laugh, "chickens can't climb trees."

"Thank Kami."

Sasuke scoffed, "That chicken made you its bitch, didn't it?"

Sai raised an eyebrow and gave him a blank look before he suddenly bit his thumb, raced through the hand seals, and slammed his hand on the ground. As the smoke from the conjuring dispersed and the giant slug appeared next to him, he gave Sasuke a smug, challenging look.

"Yeah," cheered Naruto loudly and jumping up to his feet, yelled, "My turn! I'm gonna summon the biggest toad you've ever seen in your life!" He repeated Sai's actions and tried to summon Gamabunta. As the smoke cleared, Naruto's face fell in disappointment at the sight of the tadpole.

"Eh hehe… just kidding." He hastily tried again. This time he took a deep breath and looked deep inside for that elusive hidden chakra.

"Ah crap, not you!"

The light green in color, purple eyes, large red bow on her back and had thick orange lipstick, pink blush and eye-liner on her face; it could only be one toad… Gamariki.

"My little smoochy-woochie dinky-poo! How I've missed you!"

Naruto turned the most interesting shade of red as he tried to dodge the kiss of the lovesick transvestite toad. "Hey," he hissed, "What have I told you about calling me that?!"

"Oh right, I'm sorry sweetie-pie. Are you going to introduce me to your friends?"

In abject humiliation, he slowly turned around to face everyone. Sai began to choke as he tried not to laugh. Sasuke collapsed onto the ground, howling. Sakura, Hinata, and Ino were trying not to laugh as well, but giggles kept escaping.

"That's it," growled Naruto as he tackled Sasuke. They rolled around for several minutes while the girls rolled their eyes. As Sasuke finally gained the upper hand, he pinned Naruto to the ground and said, "Do you give… smoochy-woochie dinky-poo!"

Naruto flipped and reversed their positions, with him on top. He gathered a mouth full of spit and said wetly, "Do you… kitten?"

"Ugh, damn you're disgusting. Let me up."

Gamariki cleared his throat expectantly, so Naruto stood up and said, "This is Ino, Hinata, and Sakura-chan. Everyone – this is Gamariki."

"Sakura-chan huh? Well she's kind of scrawny for a kunoichi isn't she? What's with that hideous hair, hmm?"

"Now wait just a min…," began Naruto.

"Ugly, who are you calling ugly?" growled Sakura. "You're covered in warts and you're calling me ugly? All the make-up in the world can't cover those up! Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside."

"You may not have any enemies, but your friends don't really like you either."

"What's your name again…? Gama-retchy?" Sakura shot back.

"Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone!" Gamariki's tongue whipped out and snatched Sakura right up. Her surprised shout was cut off when the toad's mouth snapped shut.

"SAKURA!" screamed Ino and Hinata.

"Holy crap, Gamariki ate Sakura!" exclaimed Sai. "Is he allowed to do that?"

Naruto marched over to the cross-dressing toad, pointed his finger, and sternly demanded, "Spit. Her. Out." The toad shook his head. "Spit her out now!" Again the toad shook his head. "Bad toad – bad! You spit her out right now!"

Gamariki tensed his body and vehemently shook his head.

Naruto shouted, "If you don't spit her out right now, I'll never summon you again." Gamariki sent a pleading look towards Sai and Sasuke.

"Tch, don't look at us, Riki…you're digging your own grave."

Reluctantly, Gamariki opened his mouth and spat out the girl.

Sakura landed on the ground in a thick puddle of goo. She weakly coughed and sputtered indignantly. Slime dripped from her hair and down her face. "First person to laugh," she angrily muttered, "dies a horrible death."

"I'm so sorry," gulped Naruto as he helped her up.

"But Sakura-chan," croaked Gamariki, "You've never looked better."

"Note to self," said Naruto as he watched the toad sail through the air, "Never piss off Sakura…"

~~O~~

As soon as Sakura returned from washing up at the lake, Sasuke stood up and looked at the expectant faces around him, he knew his pride was on the line. The Baka and the Aho each summoned their creatures so he had to as well. So concerned was he at thinking he was going to look like an idiot, he made a mistake. He felt it as soon as he slammed his bleeding hand down. He didn't summon Kajiarashi.

It was red and small. He took a step closer. It was round… an egg. He bent down to pick it up, but just as his fingers brushed against the smooth, warm egg, there was a loud pop. It was a bird, bigger than Master Jiraiya was. He knew this creature, having summoned her before.

A female voice echoed in his head, "Thief! Egg-stealing thief!"

"No I…"

"Thief!" She snapped her beak and then quicker than lightning, pecked him on the head. She flapped her huge wings, hopped over to the egg, picked it up with her clawed talon, and disappeared.

"Who the hell was that?!" exclaimed Naruto.

Sasuke felt something warm running down his scalp and touched it with his fingers. Blood. "Tch, Niwatoroni; and she wasn't very friendly… as usual," he said between gritted teeth.

"So your summons is a giant chicken?" asked Ino with a snort.

"NO. That was just one of his underlings. Kajiarashi commands all birds."

"Oh Sasuke, let me help you," said Hinata compassionately. She easily healed the gash while the others looked on and that's when it happened. A large shrill whistle…. A huge gust of wind… A blast of intense heat…

"Here he comes," muttered Sasuke with a long-suffering sigh as he covered his face with his hands. He pinched the bridge of his nose when he felt the THING grab his chest and hug him. Like before, it was clinging to him tighter than a lovesick fan girl. "Why me?" he thought. His mouth tightened in disgust. "Get off me," said Sasuke disdainfully while looking up at it.

It had grown much bigger in the months sine he'd seen it last. It now had dull pink feathers covering most of its body and its face was definitely more bird-like. But to Sasuke, it still looked a bit like a chicken… a very ugly chicken.

The weirdest thing about it was its eyes, they were blood red one minute and then it blinked. The eyes became soulless empty pools with a strange fire in them. Sasuke felt himself become almost mesmerized by them. Kajiarashi blinked again, breaking the connection; his eyes turning red again. He turned around and blinked at the group gathered around him.

Naruto and Sai edged over to Sasuke and Naruto commented, "He's bigger."

"Hn."

"He looks kinda cool now."

"Hn."

"I mean, he's no toad or anything…"

"Tch."

Sai added, "The girls seem to like him. Is that supposed to happen?"

Sasuke turned his head and saw that Sai was right. Kajiarashi was lying on the ground with his tongue lolling out. Like a dog, he twitched his leg while the girls rubbed his belly. The trilling sound he made was now more like a cross between a coo and a purr. Hinata giggled and looked up to the Uchiha.

"He's so sweet."

This time he really did coo. Kajiarashi licked her neck and nuzzled it causing her to giggle again. "He likes me."

"Hn."

Suddenly Hinata let out a gasp. "He spoke to me!" she said excitedly, "…in my head! He called me his little one."

"Awww, so cute," said Ino and Sakura.

"Girls are weird," murmured Naruto to Sasuke and Sai.

And as they looked down at the ugly creature, they couldn't help but agree.

"Kajiarashi… that means Firestorm right?" asked Hinata curiously. At their nods she continued, "It's so strange that you don't know what kind of creature he is. What did the contract say?"

Kajiarashi hopped up from the ground. His chest began to heave and watery gurgling sounds emitted from his throat. He opened its mouth and threw up the slime covered red summoning scroll. Sasuke delicately picked it up and unrolled it to show Hinata the contents.

As she sidled up to Sasuke and pressed in to study the paper, Sasuke felt his heart quicken and repressed a shudder. She ran her finger lightly across the top. "Ignis et Alitis Fulgur," she spoke softly, "What does that mean?"

"I don't know," he whispered back. Just reading the words sent a tingle up his spine. Deep inside, he felt as though it was something he should know.

Sakura, still petting the soft feathers of Kajiarashi, distractedly said, "Bird of fire and lightning." As the words sunk in, her eyes widened. "Bird of fire… fire bird… Phoenix… Kajiarashi – are you an actual Phoenix?" she asked in awe.

The pink feathered bird proudly puffed out its chest and let out a shrill, piercing cry that echoed across the lake. It slowly blinked and they all saw what Sasuke had seen… the eyes went black and empty for a brief second before they lit up with an unholy fire. It was the single-most terrifying thing most of them had ever seen.

The fires of hell were burning where its eyes should be. Kajiarashi blinked again, returning his eyes to normal.

"Wow," breathed Sasuke. "My summons is the legendary Phoenix." He spun around, held his hand out at Naruto and Sai, and demanded, "Pay up. You two owe me five hundred ryo… I told you it wasn't a chicken."

AN:

Thanks to all of you who have hung in there with me on this story. Over 500 reviews - wow! Hopefully you didn't find this chapter a waste of time, but I swear there is a reason for it, you just won't see it for quite some time.

Thanks to everyone that followed/favorited/commented on the last chapter! And thanks to guest reviewers, Stephanie, Tdbank316 (Thanks for your honesty. Last one, I swear!), Gamma89, and unnamed guest.

As I said at the begining of this chapter, the next four will be the start of a new arc called Ushi Village. If you all may recall, the mission to Wave cannot happen (Gato's dead!) so it will be my version of a 'C' rank gone to an 'A'.

Thank you to THECOOKIEMONSTER77 for being my awesomely (Yeah - it's a word) cool beta!

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST