There she was stood in my doorway and I froze for the first time in my life I didn't know what to say. Piper as always looked gorgeous nothing has changed that blonde hair still looked good and those blue eyes still gleamed. "So what we just going to stand here" Piper said I glared at her "You can't let me be can you, I mean I had you down as a naïve asshole but a manipulative controlling bitch that's a new one you pulled out of your roots" She walked up to me I folded my arms and looked away "I didn't know what else to do I was worried that you were going to get killed"
"Fuck you Piper it's not that you didn't want to be alone after Larry went off with Molly"
"It's fucking Polly and now it's just me and you like how you always wanted" How I wanted? Was she trying to turn this on me "Fuck you Piper" I pushed her and I pushed her again "Don't try and pin your selfish actions on me" I turned my back to her "Selfish O okay let's talk selfish um well there's giving me my name up then there's the Chicago fiasco"
"For the hundredth fucking time I thought you were going to tell the truth"
"And I thought you were going to lie" She shouted
I was getting a headache I put my hand on temple "This is going round and round it's fucking painful I am done Piper I am so fucking done with shit like this"
"Yes so am I we are so done with..stupid actions and being fuck ups towards each other" I put my hand down and turned around and looked at her "Look Alex I know I fucked up and I fucked up real bad but the thing is I was genially worried about you" I looked in her eyes god I was a sucker for those deep blue eyes "Listen Al loads of couples fuck up" Couple? When was the last time we were a couple "No Piper when couples fuck up it's forgetting a birthday or anniversary or forgetting to turn the heating off we are a whole new league" Piper folded her arms like some sulky teenager not getting their own way "I am not some fucking trashy novel like 50 Shades you can't pick me up when your horny and put me down and close the book when your satisfied"
"I wouldn't read shit like that anyway you know that" Piper said I took a few shirts out of my bag Piper grabbed my arms and turned me to look at her "Look let's start anew put everything behind us and the next fuck up we're done because Al" She put her hand on my face and stroked my cheek I melted inside "There's no stopping us no Larry's no stupid drug cartels no one" She gave me one of her smiles that suckered me in every time but no not this time I wanted Piper to mean what she said I took her hand off my cheek "I'll think about it" I looked her up and down "Count is coming up and your out of bounds" She nodded "Classic Alex Vause playing the tough girl" I scoffed "Think what you want I said I'd think about it I'll get back to you okay" She turned to leave I could hear her heavy boots from down the hall. There was another knock on the wall god I was popular today "Hey Vause Morello told me you were back" It was Nicky god was I happy to see her "I was wondering when I was going to see your tall ass again" Nothing had changed about Nicky she still had that wild hair and that smile on her face which is why I missed her cause no matter what happens she's always smiling "O you know me where's there's a straight girl in distress I am there" Nicky was nosing around my stuff then she sat down on the bunk "Yeah I heard about Chicago and what Piper did you must've been pretty bummed" If there was anyone that I could be straight with and that's Nicky I sat down next to her "I am such a fuck up" Nicky rolled her eyes and put her arm around me "Hey you need another fingering" Typical Nicky but I knew she was joking "O trust me that's the last thing on my mind at the moment"
"Look what Piper did may have come across as something stupid well the most stupidest thing of the century but she meant well in her own stupid way if that makes sense" I leaned back against the wall "How's you anyway" I asked trying to change the subject "I think I am making a break through with Morello" Her eyes widened like she thought of a brain wave "Hey when we all get out maybe we can double date you know you, Piper, Morello and me" I chuckled "Sounds like a plan Nichols now get the fuck out of my cell count is coming up" She gave me a cuddle winked and left. After the count I took the book out Kate gave me One Day I couldn't help but laugh on the inside. I knew I had to send it back to her and that I couldn't just forget about her there's was something about her there's only a handful of people that's made me feel like this well one and that was Piper. But I could have a friendship she could be like my little pen friend when I finished unpacking I hoped that my money would be transferred to commissary so that I could get some paper if not sure Nicky would let me have some. The little Chinese lady was there as always "Yes"
"Um I got transferred here from Virginia and I was wondering if my money got moved here the name is Vause Alex" She looked down on a piece of paper "I see no Vause here come back next week" Fuck I thought guess I'd have to ask Nicky I was walking back to my cell I still haven't been assigned yet and I was still in these shitty orange overalls so I couldn't go to the cubes. When I walking back I spotted Diaz she was reading a comic Kate loves nerdy things I stopped instantly and walked backwards to Diaz either she's eaten way to many taccos or she was pregnant "Hey" She looked me up and down "What do you want lurch the suburbs are down there" I laughed "Your really funny you know that" I took my glasses off "Actually it's what your reading I want" She looked down and then up at me "I didn't know you were into this stuff "
"Can I have that one in exchange for I don't know I heard raspberry's are good for pregnancy" She shielded her comic "No fucking way lurch, I get mine sent in they're allowed just got to get who ever it is to take the staples out" Great I didn't know anyone that could do that maybe Red could get them in "Thanks" I walked off. When I went into Red's little green house it was full of old people working for her "Wow this is a nice set up here" Red turned around "Vause how can I help you" I moved into a corner so we could talk privet she didn't move "Please it's all open in here what do you want" The old lady's didn't seem to care what Red was doing "I need a comic book" She looked confused as well "You into that stuff now I know you read a lot but never had you down as liking those" I rolled my eyes "It's for a friend" Red looked up she looked curious I knew she'd report back to Piper "Anyone special" I had to think on my feet on this "Um actually it is for me I didn't what to say anything embarrassed you know" She walked off with a watering can and started watering plants "I don't believe you" She stopped watering them and looked at me "Who they for"
"Why do you care"
"Cause Piper is my bunkie and my friend and I just don't like you" She folded her arms I knew I had to drive a hard bargain "I'll do your feet again" She smiled "Done that was easy" Did I just get played?. "You can get it by tomorrow Nicky will drop it off to you and I also take the staples out so you'll be fine with sending them out and I'll meet you in the toilet later for my foot rub" She winked I shuddered.
At breakfast the next day I saw Piper she sat down on my table "I am not in the mood"
"I heard you still give good foot rubs O and Red asked me to give you this" Piper gave me the Batman comic Red you sneak "Who's it for Al" I knew well enough not to trust anyone in this place "It's for a friend okay I am allowed to have fucking friends you know"
"You are allowed friends but why you keeping this one quiet, Did you meet someone in Virginia" I was caught off guard I didn't know what to say "I made a friend there yeah I feel bad cause I didn't say bye that's all" Piper looked at me like she was trying to look into my soul "Hm must be getting soft" She started eating her breakfast. "Given any more thought about us" All fucking night I did "I was up all night, I don't know Pipes I really don't I need more time I am still kinda mad" She nodded "That's okay I understand" We carried on eating in silence then Nicky came over "Hey Vause here's some paper and parcel shit you can borrow my commissary to send it if you want" She looked at us both "Have I missed something" She sat down "So what's going on in the drama land" I got up and left "What something I said". When I got back to my cell I wrote Kate a note then done her parcel I gave it to Nicky to send for me when I got back to my cell Bennett came in with a letter "That's for you Vause you missed mail call" I saw the letter stamp it was from Virginia. I sat down and opened it.
Dear Alex
It kinda sucked when you left like that not that it was your fault and I'd be telling a lie if I said I didn't miss you. I really hope we're okay after what happened cause there's no stopping us from being friends unless Piper has a issue with it. I hope you write back.
Kate x
Kate
"MAIL CALL!" I know I only sent the letters yesterday but I still hoped that Alex or my mother would reply straight away I hovered around in the mail room hoping that my name got called but it didn't. I wasn't sup prised about Alex but I thought my mother would have at lest cared a little bit that I was in prison plus it didn't help that visiting day was today and the library was shut I was just sat in the TV room watching some trash reality show.
New York 2007
I woke up with a hell of a hangover all I remembered was finishing early at work what the fuck did I do last night my head was pounding and my ears were ringing but most importantly where was I. I looked around the room and clothing was everywhere most importantly so was mine I looked underneath the covers and saw that I was naked "Holy shit" I said thinking out loud. I heard a toilet flush and Lisa came out wearing just pants and a T-Shirt she got into bed I jumped out of bed and tried to put some cloths on "What's wrong with you your shy all of a sudden" I managed to find my top and put it on "Please nothing I haven't seen before" now I vaguely remembered the nightclub we went to and drinking shots and that was about it. I was more shocked with Lisa then anything I am her student don't teachers have rules to make sure they don't date their students "I am your student the pair of us can get in trouble for this isn't there any rules in place for this kind of stuff" Lisa stretched across the bed and slapped my ass and laid back down "Well there's no rules it's just seen as unprofessional but the teachers think that of me anyway but no your not in trouble trust me it happens all the time" What she sleeps with her students all the time "I can see what your thinking and this is the first time I've done this, Look your 22 I am 36 we're both grown ups here" I felt really sick maybe it was the alcohol or what the fact that my first experience with a women just so happened to be my teacher who was 14 years older me and I can't even remember it. I stood still for a minute trying to gather my bearings "If your going to barf toilet is there" She pointed toward the door I ran towards the door found the toilet and brought all the alcohol up from last night I washed my face and looked in the mirror god I looked awful I walked through the door sort of hoping it was a dream and that the door I entered was my bedroom but nope I walked through and there she was standing there she threw the rest of my cloths at me "I am so sorry Lisa" She threw my pants at me "Why you sorry, You know for someone that's never done it before you were pretty good" Why did this made me happy I did grin a little as I remembered something that we done last night. I put the rest of my cloths on "So what do we do now" She walked over to me "Well I wanted hangover sex in the shower but your leaving me which isn't very nice" She put her arms around my neck I looked away she grabbed my chin and made me look at her "Hey don't be like that why you so shy" She let go of my chin and bit my ear playfully "Can you at least stay for some coffee" She whispered in my ear. God what was this women doing to me she brushed her cheek against mine and bit my bottom lip playfully. If we weren't going to get in any trouble then what was the problem of a little harmless fling nothing serious no strings attached as they say. I kissed her back breaking the bite then I felt sick again "I am going to be sick" and as I ran back to the bathroom I shouted "Tea, White no sugar".
There was a slam on the table I looked up and it was a guard "Hey posh spice you got a visitor" I didn't expect a visit from Helen "Who is it" He walked off. I walked into the visiting room and sat there was my mother she hadn't changed much her face still carried that expression of toughness she didn't go grey much god I really hope I don't look like that when I get older. I sat down opposite her I haven't seen this women in 5 years it got the point where she didn't even feel real anymore to me I pictured this moment in my head and now everything I wanted to say just completely vanished from my head. She finally broke the silence "Hello Kate"
"Mother" She looked at me then looked away "You look like shit" Well sorry mother but I haven't slept in 2 days and my head is a mega fuck up "You should drink herbal tea they say it's good for the skin" She was still looking away "Look ma I know I fucked up" She turned her head in a instant "You fucked up that's a underestimate tell me on what part did you fuck up K hmm was it the sordy disgusting affair that you had with your teacher" I knew she was going to bring Lisa into this "Or was it the stupid career path that you took or was it the lifestyle choice you made or was it shacking up with that women" This wasn't going how I wanted I thought her not seeing me in 5 years would sort of made her miss me but no it didn't "And how did you wind up in here huh was it that Helen I always said she was a wrong one"
"Fuck you okay we were in love...Sort of"
"I am not turning this into a argument K" No I just have to sit here and listen to the venom "So what? Do you me to get you out?" I can't believe this I had to go before I smacked her I got up "You know what I can take the homophobia I take the dragging me down but what I won't have is that you think I want something from you, When have I ever asked for anything I have been here for a year you'd think someone as smart as yourself would realise that if I wanted something I would have ask for it by now" I caught my breath "I just wanted to see you that's all I know we were never close but hey stupid me thought let's write mother a letter she might have a ounce of sympathy there but no you'll always be a sour faced cow" I turned around and walked out thinking she might call me back but she didn't she got up and walked out when I did.
I got back to my cell and kick the wall "Ouch" I hurt my foot fucking mother I suddenly felt like a 14 year old in bedroom again I kicked the wall again and sat on bunk.
New York 2007
"I am just saying it wasn't a bad film" I turned to look at Lisa "Really? Toby Maguire dance made me cringe" She gave me one of her cute little half smiles "Hey it's wouldn't surprise me if they made a 4th Spiderman film" I swear she was being sarcastic. We started walking slowly down the street I felt really comfortable around Lisa she linked arms with me she wasn't even worried if another student or teacher saw us she was so care free and she brought me out of my shell a little "Shall we head back to yours" I have been trying to balance spending the night at Lisa's and my mother but my mother was so busy all the time she hardly noticed. "Why can't we go back to yours?" We'd been through this I keep saying I wasn't ready but when ever is there a right time to come out but it was just nice to feel comfortable for a change. "You got to come out to your mother at some point" I was thinking of never but I doubt I'd be able to get away with it "Look little baby steps okay" I said She stopped walking and tugged on my arm playfully "O come on I want to see where you live I won't stop nagging till you do You don't have to come out to your mom or anything" She kept tugging my arm and it was getting annoying "If I say yes will you stop nagging me about my mother" She stopped and gave me a wide smile "I promise" And she gently kissed my lips.
"MAIL CALL!" I didn't bother going to the room this time I was really not in the mood I have had zero sleep and I didn't even go into work I told Ruth I was sick. I was at in the TV room all day just staring at the telly and thinking about the disaster that was yesterday and all the things that she said maybe this was my own fault I knew what she could be like and she can hit below the belt. I kept going over everything that I have done in the last 6 years and thought that I wasn't a bad person I am 28 years old and I have a degree and I had a nice job my relationship with Helen I admit it didn't feel meaningful at the end but it started off that way thinking about it over and over just made me more angry I mean who the fuck did my mother think she is saying those things to me. For the first time since I've been here I actually felt good about myself and trust my mother to bring it out of me I actually smiled for the first time in weeks. "Hey what you smiling about thought you were sick"
"Do you know Ruth I have just realised that for the first time in ages I am not the bad guy here in fact I have never been one" She looked confused "But your not a bad person anyway" She slammed a parcel on the table and a letter "Here the guard gave it to me you didn't collect it" I looked at the parcel it had Litchfiled on it and AV in the corner. My heart dropped to my tummy I didn't open it in front of Ruth I got up to go back to my cell "You really are ill your more paler then normal" I gather up my letter and parcel "Yeah I am totally ill I think I am going to lie down" I walked fast to my cell and tore open the parcel open and it had that smell I love new book and comic smell with a note
Dear K
I remember you saying that you like comics (Sorry about the no staples) and here is the book you gave me (Nice save back there by the way ) I hope your well and I still feel lame for leaving in the middle of the night not that I had any choice in the matter. Keep safe
Alex x
I looked at the book One Day that's ironic I thought I flicked through the comic and then picked the letter up it was from my mother she is coming back to see me Sunday ready for round 2 I thought.