"Sarah. Would you please let us call Harm?" Katherine pleaded once last time.

Mac's reply a firm; "No."

"Anyone else? A friend?"

"Can we please just do this?" Mac begged softly as she felt a tear escape and make its way down the side of her face.

She was prepped for her examination under anesthetic and was now lying flat on the theatre bed. Her eyes focused on the ceiling and nothing else.

Ordinarily Katherine wouldn't use a general anesthetic for something like this. A light sedative would be enough. However the state both physical and psychological that Mac was currently in made her fear that she would not cope with what was about to happen if she had to live through it. Mac had described moment by moment what had happened earlier in the day. To say Katherine was upset for her was an understatement. She now needed to make the rest of this traumatic day as painless and stress-free as possible. At least this she could do for her.

"Ok. But we'll talk more about this when we're finished here."

Mac felt herself begin to drift. Somehow this artificial sleep was the most relaxed she had felt all day. And she welcomed it. Because when she slept she couldn't think.

"Mac…pick up…pick up, pick up…" Harm whispered into the phone. He'd been trying to speak with her for several hours now with absolutely no luck. At first he brushed it off thinking she was simply in a meeting or had an interview. But the more time went by, the more anxious he was becoming. He had tried her direct line at work along with her mobile number. Nothing. He even tried the house number again. Nothing.

He couldn't quite tell you what it was but he had this horrible heavy feeling in his chest that something was terribly wrong. "Baby…pick up…" "Hi. You've reached Colonel Rabb. Please leave…" "Ughhh!" frustrated he hung up.

The walls of his old apartment suddenly felt way too small.

Getting up from the couch he walked over to the fridge and took out a bottle of water. He was holding off from calling anyone else in case he managed to get a hold of her…but now…he was just worried. Looking through his contacts he found who he was looking; "Jen! Hi. It's me."

"Captain? Hello!"

"Hi. How's everything?"

"Good sir. Did you receive my update for yesterday?"

"Yeah. Yeah I did. Listen can you put me through to Mac?"

Jen felt her hand grip the phone a little tighter; "She didn't come in today sir," her voice cautious.

Harm felt himself go cold. 'Oh God…' "What?"

"She didn't come in today." Something was very wrong here. She sat up a little straighter and was suddenly on alert. "To be honest I wasn't sure what to do? I thought that perhaps she had the day off and it just wasn't added into the calendar. Is everything ok sir?" trying to get some more information.

Harm rubbed his eyes with his free hand, now evidently worried as he gathered his thoughts. "I've been trying to contact her for a few hours and I can't get a hold of her."

"Do you think something is wrong sir?" Jen pushed

Harm didn't know what to do. Mac would never skip work without a valid reason. But then she could have a reason and he just needed to be patient and wait to see if she would contact him. But why wasn't she picking up the phone!

He let out the breath he'd been holding; "Um…no. No. Listen I might call you back a little bit later."

"Yes sir."

Suddenly there was a beeping in the background that alerted Harm of an incoming call…

Mac precariously held her mobile to her ear with her right hand having been advised to keep the IV line on her left hand as still as possible. She had also been given a mild painkiller that was starting to wear off. It wasn't to say she was in horrible pain or really any pain at all…but she could certainly feel that odd sensation that something had been done inside of her.

It didn't take her long to wake up after leaving theater. As she was wheeled into recovery where she was promised that Katherine would be back to speak with her.

That was 3 hours ago and she was still waiting. Having asked one of the nurses for her phone she turned it on to find 12 missed calls and 5 messages from Harm.

'Hey beautiful. Tried calling you. I'll try again in a bit. Love you xx'

'Darling where are you? I've been trying to call you. Call me xx'

'Mac pick up please. I'm getting a little worried now. What's going on?'

'Mac call me please! Where are you? It's been hours!'

'Where are you? What the hell is going on? Please call me or at least pick up! I'm really worried now. Please!'

She hadn't wanted to speak to him before the procedure. She couldn't bring herself to speak with him. She didn't want to hear his voice…or rather…she wanted to hear his voice but she knew she would break apart at the sound. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms. She needed him so much right now. The thought of him brought her back to that low point where she had nothing more in her to give, but the tears that slowly made their way down her cheeks.

"Mac!"

"Hey," her voice a little hushed.

"Mac! Where the hell have you been?" Harm felt he could actually breath again. His voice though worried and concerned had an edge of agitation and even perhaps a little irritation. "I've been calling for hours!"

His tone and demand brought fresh tears to her eyes. And she suddenly felt a wave of anger and resentment wash over her. She was angry at him! She wanted to yell at him and demand that he return home! She hated him for not having been there! Why wasn't he there when she needed him the most!

But just as quickly as she felt herself rile up…she immediately sank low. She bit down on her tongue and shed the tears in silence instead. She really couldn't blame him could she? Not at all. This was all her fault after all, she reminded herself.

The pause was too long for comfort. Something was wrong. Losing the full steam he had, he let out a long breath; "What's wrong sweetheart? Where are you?"

She swallowed painfully and made sure her voice was even before; "I'm at home. I'm sorry I worried you. I really am."

"What happened? Why weren't you picking up?"

"I'm so sorry. You remember how I said this morning…" she took a deep breath. "That I was getting my period…I just," she swallowed through her dry mouth. "I got a massive migraine and took some pretty strong pain killers. Must have knocked me out completely…" aiming for humor even though it didn't reach her voice.

"Should I come home?" His concern evident. He wanted to be with her.

"There's nothing you can do Harm." Because really there wasn't anything anyone could do…not anymore as one solitary tear slipped down her right cheek.

Harm hesitated a little. There was something in her voice that just didn't feel right. He let out a short sigh; "Are you feeling a bit better now?" he asked diverting a little.

"Yeah," she lied. "Yeah. I'm fine." Swallowing heavily; "I just miss you…really, really miss you…"