Eventually Katherine did make it back to Mac's room. She had explained everything carefully, from what she had done during the procedure to what would happen from here on. Mac was to go back on the pill and would need to refrain from any intercourse for at least 2 weeks to make sure everything had properly healed. These instructions would be otherwise easy to follow if Harm knew about the situation.

Katherine would have understood if Mac had been apprehensive about these instructions…that would be if Mac had in fact been listening to her. But there wasn't much use. She was paying little to no attention drifting instead between what she was feeling and thinking of Harm.

She had spent the night at the hospital, mostly for Katherine's piece of mind, and was discharged the following morning. Which is how Mac now found herself taking slow steps from the garage and back into the house. The silence of the house an absolute gift to her, against the pounding headache that was making her whole body ache.

She knew she had to call the office so making her way up to the kitchen she filled a glass with water and then walked straight back to their bedroom. Pulling her phone out she dialed.

"Morning Jen."

"Ma'am!" Surprised but all too happy and relieved to finally hear from her. "Good morning."

Clearing her throat Sarah continued; "Listen Jen I was um…going to call in sick yesterday but it completely ran away from me."

"That's alright ma'am. The captain called after he'd spoken with you. He said you would likely be away today too so I took the liberty in making arrangements to your schedule for today."

If Mac had been in a better state of mind she would have smiled with pride at Jen's thorough efficiency. She really was one immense addition to the London team.

"Thank you so much Jen," was all she could bring herself to say. She wanted to end the call quickly. She wanted to drift off to sleep. With a long and heavy sigh she added; "I'll be in bright and early tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am." Jen wasn't convinced that all was well so before giving her senior enough chance to hang up she quickly spoke again; "Ma'am, is everything ok? Is there anything I can do for you?" her voice honest and concerned.

Mac took in a deep breath. She appreciated the offer but today really was not the day. "Thank you Jen but I'm ok. You just make sure the office runs as smoothly as possible please."

"Will do ma'am."

"Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that she hung up the call and lowering herself back onto the bed she reached for the sheets and pulled them up and tight around herself. The painkillers were not helping with the headache and she felt herself begin to be sick in the stomach.

Taking deep and measured breaths she tried to close her eyes and drift off to sleep…but she couldn't. Her mind was running too fast. Her memories of yesterday morning too vivid. She closed her eyes tightly willing them away but it was no use. Her tears came on strong and her body shook with the strength of these emotions.

With ears pricked Mac was startled out of a fitful sleep by the sound of a ringing phone.

Swallowing through a dry mouth and licking her lips she lifted her head just enough to pick up the phone from the charger.

"Hello?" her voice nothing more than a groggy whisper.

"Hey darling," Harm whispered. This wasn't good. Mac would never be in bed and asleep at 1pm unless she was terribly ill. "I hadn't heard from you." He continued as he tried to lighten his own tone. "How are you?"

Mac was only beginning to register his voice. Her head still heavy and tired. "I'm ok. Just um…tired…" she licked her lips again feeling the dry cracks across them.

Harm was definitely not buying it. Her few words and long pauses only strengthened his worry. "I called your mobile this morning. Was it switched off?" he asked innocently enough.

"Um yeah. Yeah. I just um…had a headache again and just wanted silence." All of that was true. Clearing her throat she tried to make normal of this conversation feeling his apprehension over the phone. The last thing she needed right now was more questions. Not now. "How are you?"

Well that was an obvious diversion if Harm had ever heard one but he would go along with it…for the moment; "Good yeah. Um that's actually another reason why I wanted to speak with you. Things started moving rather quickly last night and I've been given the all clear to head back!"

Mac wanted to smile. She knew she was expected to be happy and she was…but what was Harm going to come home to? Could she face him right now? So her flashing moment of joy immediately turned to fear. "That's great. That's really good. When are you flying back?"

Harm felt a slight pang in his heart at her insincerity. There was something forced in her voice which genuinely threw him off. Something was wrong but he couldn't even begin to imagine what. He pushed through anyway despite the air shifting between them to a more somber one. "Um. I booked my flight for Thursday morning. It's the earliest they had."

Two days away. "Ok. Just um text me your flight details so I can pick you up."

"Oh that's fine. I'll catch a taxi home."

She knew him well enough to hear the heavily veiled anger in his voice. 'Great. You're upset. Let's make this about you' she thought. "Harm. I'm picking you up," her voice a little louder and with more intent. "Just send me the details…please."

There was silence over the line, which felt to her like Harm was contemplating.

"Please," she reiterated.

She had spent the last few hours working herself up to this moment. Her biggest fear was her reaction when she did finally see him. It was all well and great to take deep breaths and tell herself to keep her tears and fears at bay…but that was merely prep work.

Parking the SUV she made her way to international arrivals. She had had some pain earlier this morning but the painkiller had kicked in and was now feeling better. However there was a caution in her slow steps taking her time to get anywhere.

And finding somewhere to seat she waited…and thought.

Her eyes distant and sad. Her posture low and her shoulders hunched. This was not the usual marine. Nowhere near.

Which was exactly what he saw as he stopped luggage in hand. He had spotted her almost as he had exited the gate. There was something about her that would always draw him to her. And the sight he found was not the woman he had left behind. There was something so wrong about this. But what?

Frowning he took a deep breath and continued, smile on his face as he attempted to make light. He was so desperate to hug her and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her.

"Hello marine!"

Blinking away her thoughts she looked up to find her husband smiling back at her. That smile. The one that made everything bad go away. The one she desperately needed.

She was not going to cry but she needed to feel him, which is why she immediately stood and wrapped her arms around his neck…desperately. Her breathing was heavy against his neck but still she refused to let those tears rear.

Harm let go of his bag and wrapped his arms tight around her. Taking a deep breath against her hair he took in that beautiful smell that was only hers. He felt he was home when he was with her and he didn't know what that felt like until he had been away from her.

He gave her strength which is what she needed right now.

"I missed you," she whispered.

Closing his eyes he felt something so strong in his chest. What was going on?

"I missed you too. I love you."

Pulling away just enough to try and see her face she avoided his eyes and looked straight at his chest instead. He didn't give it up though and searched for her eyes by lowering his head just enough that she was forced to look at him.

There was something there. Something in her eyes…had changed.

Cupping her face with his right hand he lowered his lips to hers. It was a mere touch. That's all he wanted. To touch her lips with his.

"Lets go home," he whispered.

She simply nodded.

Harm was tired enough that he had drifted into a light sleep on the drive home which to Mac was heaven sent. She knew Harm was perceptive. Her behavior at the airport would have already raised flags in his head. She hadn't meant to. She told herself she was stronger than that…but seeing him…suddenly standing before her…after what had just happened…it was all too much.

Turning her eyes to him at a red light she watched him sleep. He looked tired. Haggard. But even so…he was so handsome. The most handsome man she had ever known. And he was hers. But for how much longer? Would he leave her one day? Would he get tired of her anxieties and her moods? Being friends for 9 years is one thing…but being married.

Most importantly would he eventually learn to hate her for taking away from him the one thing he so desperately wanted; children.

He deserved to be a father. He would be a wonderful father! The best! And here she was…recovering from having just lost his child.

Their child.

Those words bounced around in her head with the gentleness of a ricocheting bullet. Feeling the taste of them in her mouth she had said those words out loud in the darkness of their bedroom in the silence of the night. And it made it real.

It could have been so perfect. It would have been so perfect! Their child...

It was real and it had happened. They had won with a 4% chance! They were having a baby, she had actually been pregnant…and now it was gone! Their most desperately wanted child…was gone. They didn't get a chance to know it. They didn't even get a chance to know it was there. And that right there filled her with so much rage!

'It was a boy' she thought utterly convinced as she gripped the stirring wheel. She just felt it so. She felt it in every part of her. 'And he was perfect' as she watched Harm breath in and out quietly…"Just like you," she finally whispered. The lights along the street suddenly blurring in her vision as she felt her eyes well up.

A beep from the vehicle behind brought her back to the present and taking a deep breath she swallowed her tears and her anger and drove on.

Harm was not asleep. He had heard her. He had seen the tears out of the corner of his eyes when she wasn't watching.

'Just like you'

What did that mean? What was going on? She looked so terribly upset that it genuinely tore at him. And yet despite himself he thought it best to give her silence and peace. Let her believe he was asleep whilst she worked through whatever it was that was clearly eating away at her.

But he needed to get to the bottom of this!