AN:

Major fluff ahead…You've been warned! I'm talking adorable brown-eyed puppies, soft fuzzy bunnies, and fluffy yellow chicks, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes… and BTW, I still make no money off of Naruto.

Chapter Thirty-Three:

Kakashi Hatake Panics

Turning and returning To some secret place inside Watching in slow motion As you turn my way and say Take my breath away

~Berlin~

As the medic closed the door behind himself, Naruto gleefully shouted into the empty room, "Thank Kami - I'm finally free… Hey, where is everybody?"

Ayame called out from the living room, "Kakashi left early this morning and your teammates haven't shown up yet."

"Oh," said Naruto, feeling a little let down. "I thought we were going to eat lunch together to celebrate me finally being set free."

Ayame slowly walked into the kitchen and rubbed his head.

"I'm sure they'll show up sooner or later, but in the mean time, I can fix you something," she said. An instant later a grimace crossed her face and she moaned lowly.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked in concern. "Maybe you should sit down." He took a pan out of the cabinet and waved in her direction. "Hey, I'm not helpless; the doctor said I'm all good. I'll fix lunch for the both of us." He set the pan down on the stove and walked over to the pantry to grab the rice.

Leaning against the counter, Ayame smiled fondly at the boy. "No, I'm fine," she reassured, "I'm just having some labor pains."

"Well you shouldn't work so hard," he commented unthinkingly as he opened the refrigerator and rooted around.

"Not that kind of labor Naruto. I'm having the baby."

"Well of course you are…you've been pregnant - like forever."

"No, I mean I'm having the baby today."

Naruto golden skin turned ashen as he realized what Ayame was saying. All the feeling left his arms and the vegetables he was holding fell to the floor. "What now?! No, you can't have it now. Hold it in," he demanded in a panic, "I'm not ready yet. Now's really not a good time!"

Ayame laughed merrily and shook her head. "Well, ready or not, you're going to have a baby brother or sister today."

"But…but…dad's not here. Dad should be here… I'm… I'm pretty sure he'd wanna be here… I'll… um… maybe I should… um… maybe I should get him. Wait… the hospital…I should take you to the hospital… where's the hospital? I forgot where the hospital is!" He ran his fingers shakily through his hair and continued to stammer nervously, "Yeah that's what I should do… hospital to take you… I mean take you to the hospital…"

Ayame tenderly cupped his chin in her hand and raised his face. "Relax Naruto. Everything is going to be okay. These things take a long time."

"…and besides, Anko's coming over for a visit. I have plenty of time until I need to go. Your father doesn't need to be here yet. I have a feeling he will be a nervous wreck once he finds out."

Naruto puffed out his chest. "Not my dad," he proclaimed proudly. "He is one of Konoha's elite shinobi. He is in every bingo book in every nation. He has faced 'S' class ninja without fear. There is no way he would ever panic."

"Your right of course," she giggled behind her hand and went to answer the door as the bell rang. "Kakashi Hatake would never panic," she called over her shoulder.

"Women," sighed Naruto as he shook his head. "I've got to do something," he said to himself as he turned to run down the hall to the den where Bisuke was sleeping – that lazy, good-for-nothing hound.

~~O~~

Kakashi flew through the front door and was bounding up the stairs when he came to a sudden stop, nearly losing his balance for the first time in his life as the vision of his wife sitting in the living room finally hit his brain.

He scrambled back down the stairs and raced into the room.

"What are you doing in here?!" he yelled.

Ayame rolled her eyes at his tone and replied serenely, "Honestly Kashi, what do you think I'm doing? I'm sitting on the sofa having a nice, relaxing cup of tea with Anko. And don't you raise your voice to me."

Kakashi sent Naruto an annoyed look to which he responded, "Hey, don't look at me. She wouldn't listen. I told her she needs to go to the hospital instead of having herself this little hen-fest with Anko." He barely dodged the kunai that was hurled by the kunoichi. "That's why I sent Bisuke to fetch you."

Kakashi took a deep calming breath and exhaled slowly before squatting down next to Ayame to look her in the eyes. "Why aren't you in the hospital, koi?" he asked softly. "Are you planning on giving birth at home? I thought we agreed on that; the hospital is safer."

"Humph, you mean you agreed on that," she muttered under her breath. "I will go to the hospital when I'm good and ready. Right now I'm visiting with Anko and having a nice, lovely hot cup of tea."

"Huh, so it's not just kunoichi that are crazy…must be all women." Naruto jumped behind his father and hid himself as the crazy snake mistress stood up with another kunai palmed. "Kidding!" he yelled defensively, "I'm only kidding!"

"Don't mess with a pregnant woman kid unless you have a death wish! I'm hot, tired, my feet hurt, and I have to pee every three minutes. I'm not in the mood to take any crap from anyone."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. He took the mug from Ayame's hands, set it on the table, and scooped her up in his arms. He was already at the front door when he found his way blocked by the men he had been sparring with minutes before his ninken had fetched him.

"Move!" he shouted in annoyance.

Guy blinked and then; recovering quickly, shouted in exuberance, "Oh Kakashi, my eternal rival, I am so glad I caught up with you on this most splendid of days! I had never seen you move so fast before today." He wiped away the tears flowing down his cheek and added, "The youthful wonder of welcoming a new life into the world is such a glorious undertaking, is it not?"

"Get the hell out of the way Guy or she'll be welcoming it right here on the porch!" he shouted in increasing panic.

"Oh, how wonderfully youthful…a homebirth!"

Kakashi gritted his teeth and said sternly, "There is not going to be any sort of homebirth going on here. She is going to the hospital as soon as you get out of my way! Now move!"

"Don't be so rude to your friends Kakashi," said Ayame cheerfully. "Please put me down. I have plenty of time before that happens. Maybe they would like a cup of tea too. Do you want a cup of tea, Guy?"

"For Kami's sake, woman," growled the ninja in frustration, "You're about to give birth. Now is not the time to entertain."

"Now is the perfect time. This is going to take hours. Anko has already sent for Ibiki and everything. I would rather be at home then at the hospital and I know you would rather be here as well. Now Guy, how about that cup of tea?"

Guy, clearly startled, stuttered helplessly, "Uh um uh, maybe now really isn't a good time..." He looked desperately around for any excuse to move away from Kakashi's death glare. "Oh… say, the floor's wet here. Maybe I should clean that up for you. Where could that have come from? It hasn't rained in days."

"Oh that's okay. That's just my water." Ayame continued on blithely as comprehension dawned on the men's faces. Guy turned a bit green and hastily backpedaled while Kakashi paled. "I'll just run upstairs and change real quick."

"Your water…?"

Anko chirped, "Hey kids look… an amniotic slip and slide…"

"What?!" they yelled.

"Hehehe, you stepped in it!" sniggered Naruto.

"I'm fine. Don't even think about forcing me either Kashi. I told you, there is plenty of time yet. Honestly, my contractions are still over an hour apart yet."

Her cool, calm and collected demeanor was driving him crazy. "Alright," he said reluctantly, "But I want you to at least rest in bed. How long have you been having pains anyways?"

"Oh just before you left this morning."

"That was three hours ago!" He carried her up there protesting the whole way, laid her gently in the bed and tucked the covers around her. "Is there anything else you need?" he asked, trying to calm his rising tide of panic.

"You can let my dad know."

Naruto, who had followed them all the way, chirped from the doorway, "I sent Shiba to get him and Guruko for a medic. They should be here soon."

"Thank you son." Kakashi turned back and took her hand. "Anything else?"

Her brave mask slipped a little and he heard the slight quiver in her voice as she replied, "I don't know... I think I'm starting to rethink this whole thing. I'm not ready.."

He swallowed his amused chuckle and said reassuringly, "Well it's a little late for that now. Wasn't it you that told me there was nothing to this childbirth business…women have been doing it for thousands of years, remember? You'll be fine."

"I changed my mind. I can do that you know. And besides, if it's so easy than you do it," she said grumpily. "It just doesn't seem fair that we women have to suffer for sex; although, just once I'd like to see a man have to go through childbirth too!" She gave an evil grin and rubbed her hands together. "Just once," she added.

"You want some poor man to have an ass-baby? That's disgusting...and thankfully, impossible," grumbled the horrified blonde.

"Language," warned the adults.

Kakashi gave her an exaggerated look of horror. "Bite your tongue woman! If men had to do that, the human race would have gone extinct a long time ago."

Ayame giggled and then moaned as a sharp pain stabbed her. "Don't make me laugh."

"I was trying to make you feel better," he said as he rubbed her belly. "Our child is eager to see you."

"But it hurts Kashi," she said in a small voice. "I don't like this."

Kakashi turned a bit white. "No more fooling around. Forget the medic; I'm taking you to the hospital right now."

"No. I don't want to go there yet. I told you this will take hours. Just think: all those hours staring at white walls, dodging the medics who want to give you your yearly physical, playing host to my family as they wait…"

"Your family?"

"Of course my family. You know they won't come here because of all the traps you set up. Only Granny Usagi is brave enough to visit. The rest of them will go to the hospital though."

"Ah, the hospital…?"

Gotcha! Ayame smiled. "My uncle Akihito said he couldn't wait to see you again."

"Is that the one who's always asking me to pull his finger?"

"No, but he'll be there as well. Uncle Akihito is the one that shouts all the time and wants to here all your war stories."

Kakashi frowned, deep in thought. "You know, perhaps we'll wait a little while for the medic, but you will do as he or she says."

"Thank you. Now why don't you bring Anko up here for me so we can tell each other how much we hate men for doing this to us!" she teased.

"Funny, but I never heard any complaints from you. I do recall hearing 'more' and 'don't stop' though."

Naruto grinned. "Gag, you guys are so gross. Get a room!"

"This is our room," said Kakashi dryly. He got out of the bed and looked down at her as she groaned. "You stay here, and I mean it woman…stay in that bed." He calmly walked past Naruto with instructions to 'make her stay' and then – as soon as he was out of their sight, ran down the stairs to Anko's side.

"Talk to her… do something; that damn woman won't listen to reason." He grabbed fistfuls of his hair and yanked much to everyone's amusement.

Anko laughed at the highly agitated shinobi. She couldn't help it. His cool imperturbable composure was renowned in Konoha. To see it disappear because of something like this had her in stitches. As she walked up the stairs, she shot over her shoulder, "Well, what do you expect me to do about it – knock her out and carry her to the hospital?"

He was saved from having to respond when the knock came from the front door. Her father, Teuchi had arrived. The copy-nin paced the living room, anxiously awaiting the medic who thankfully arrived minutes later.

Kakashi yanked open the door and jerked the medic inside; his words coming out in a rush, "She's been in labor since six this morning!" Still holding the woman's arm in a death grip, he dragged her up the stairs and into the room. He pointed at his wife and ordered, "Do something!" Anko was wiping Ayame's sweaty brow and Naruto was patting her hand. They both looked up at his panicked tone and then at each other in amusement.

"Wimp," mouthed Anko with a roll of her eyes.

"Calm down Kakashi. What do you expect her to do…give birth for me?"

Relief showed on his face when the white garbed medic casually walked past him and began to take charge.

Naruto ruined his mood when he cheerfully announced, "Hey dad, um I hate to tell you this, but I think it might be too late for the hospital. She decided that she's not going to leave."

Kakashi's face turned bone white. He exclaimed, "Aw crap!"

~~O~~

She kicked him out. She actually kicked him out.

Kakashi stood in stunned disbelief as the medic slammed the door in his face. "I might have deserved that," he admitted to himself. "I probably shouldn't have threatened to gut her with the first blunt, rusty object I could find."

At first, he freaked out, but once he caught Ayame's wide, frightened eyes, he became calm and in control…too calm. He stood leaning against the wall reading his book – the book that got them in that predicament in the first place. Every once in a while he would look up and helpfully tell her to breathe each time she got a contraction.

Somehow the poor ramen chef managed to refrain from screaming, "I am breathing!" After the first hour, she was ready to kill him… she was ready to kill everybody, especially the medic – who had the audacity to tell her to relax.

Every time she winced, Kakashi threatened the medic's life. Then of course there was his annoying habit of saying, "We never should have done that, why didn't we just skip that chapter. This is all my fault." The last straw, however, was when he kept moaning, "Please don't die, please don't die, please don't die..."

And then…

"How much longer is this going to take anyways?"

Ayame couldn't take it anymore. "Yes, this is all your fault… now stop breathing on me!" she shouted and then finally after another ten minutes of silence and then another request for her to 'hurry this along' she screamed, "Get out Hatake!"

He looked ready to refuse, thinking it was just the stress of childbirth. Two sandals and a cup of water sailed past his head before he left the room.

"Now now," said the medic, trying to calm her, "It's not pain you feel during labor, but pressure."

"Yeah," Ayame's eyes narrowed and she growled menacingly, "In the same way that a tornado might be called an air current… ass."

"That's my girl," said Kakashi from the doorway.

He quickly dodged another piece of footwear.

"Where is she getting those shoes from?" he asked Naruto in bewilderment.

The blonde shrugged and replied glibly. "Eh, I think it's a mom thing."

~~O~~

"Oh Kami, I'll never touch her again," he promised quietly as he paced the living room. All he could think about was Guy once telling him that women frequently died in childbirth. The wait was terrible. All Kakashi could think of was her potential death.

He tried to wait outside their room as Naruto was doing, but at the first horrible moan coming from the other side of the door; he'd broken out in a cold sweat and began to shake. Naruto calmly took his hand, dragged him down the stairs, and insisted Asuma make him stay there.

That was three hours ago.

Guy was now lying on the couch holding a bag of ice to his eye. Ibiki was in the corner massaging his fist and Anko was laughing at the both of them. Kakashi sure was amusing to watch when he freaked out!

She was going through agony and it was all his fault. Asuma handed him a drink, but he kept forgetting it as he paced. Naruto came down the stairs several times to give them updates. Sai and Sasuke, who came over for 'team support,' eventually wandered outside to pass the time with some sparring.

Naruto came down again and told everyone in a lilting voice, "The medic says it won't be long now and Ayame's doing fine, but you really don't want to know what she thinks about you right now! The words, insufferable ass and stupid man were used quite a few times. Oh and by the way, she also yelled something about the couch and you." With that, he bounded back up the stairs energetically, completely unaware of the anxiety flowing throughout the room.

"How did this happen?" asked Kakashi numbly.

Asuma laughed and lit a cigarette. He slapped the copy-nin on the back and said in a sing-song voice, "Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

Sasuke and Sai, who had came back inside an hour ago, glanced at each other and sniggered. Sasuke asked condescendingly, "Would you like me to get the dolls and explain it to you? Sai can draw some pictures for you…"

"Just kill me now," pleaded the masked ninja.

Twenty minutes later Naruto again came down the stairs. He had a wide grin on his face. Everyone began cheering before he said anything. Kakashi was still and silent, waiting for the words. He held his breath as his son came over to him and hugged him. "Ayame is doing okay. I'm a big brother, dad."

He let out a slight pained grunt as his father hugged him back, too hard in his delight and relief. He barely had time to share a grin with Sai and Sasuke when he was yanked up the stairs with his father to see the new life.

~~O~~

Ayame's eyes were barely open. She looked absolutely terrible and beautiful at the same time. In her arms lay the tiny infant. When Naruto carefully climbed onto the bed a sat next to her, Kakashi was struck by the picture it made. His vision from long ago had come true. Feeling absolutely no shame, he let flow the moisture that gathered in his exposed eye. He said to Ayame, "Well that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

The medic, who was preparing to leave, quickly told him, "My best medical advice would be to get out of arm's reach as fast as possible. Your wife has a really mean right hook."

Naruto inspected the baby Ayame had just placed between them with a critical eye; never before having seen one so young before, he bluntly asked, "Are you sure it's done? I mean, is it supposed to look like this? I thought they were supposed to be, oh I don't know, rounder and less wrinkly or something."

She tiredly smiled and then said, "If you just spent nine months in water, you'd look like this too. The wrinkles and red color will be gone soon."

Kakashi chuckled as Ayame fell into an exhausted slumber. He carefully picked up the bundle, set it on Naruto's lap, and removed the blanket. He counted the ten fingers and ten toes and gently touched the sparse silver hairs on the infant's head. The ninja whispered, "Absolutely perfect." He looked up at Naruto and added with an eye-smile, "Just like a certain blonde older brother I know."

And just like that, all the secret thoughts and fears he had harbored disappeared completely. He wouldn't be forgotten or replaced. A warm glow came over him as he looked down at the infant and silently vowed to become the best older brother any kid could ever want.

"Do you want to go show the baby off now or are we going to wait until Ayame wakes up? Maybe it should have a bath or something first." He hesitantly touched the tiny hand and gasped when it closed around his finger with a surprisingly firm grasp. "Wow, strong... So are you still going through with the name I picked? You really don't have to if you don't want to."

"No, you were right. We both need to remember and honor the memories of our loved ones. It's hard to continue to mourn them when their namesake is before us."

~~O~~

Kakashi slowly made his way downstairs where many of his friends still waited. Silence followed as he carried the tiny wrapped baby to the middle of the room. The men had never seen such a look on the copy-ninja's face before. It was a look so overflowing with love and happiness, it was beautiful to see. Happy to share the moment with his friends, the copy-nin announced, "I want you all to meet Sakumo Obito Hatake, my youngest son."

Anko smiled at the baby and then turned to Ibiki and said, "Don't even think you can copy the coward-nin over there and hide out in the living room while I have our kid. If I have to suffer, than so do you."

"I wasn't hiding out. I was kicked out," replied Kakashi indignantly. He added defensively, "…and I wasn't being a coward."

Naruto smirked. "Umm dad, I think the neighbors heard you when you swore you would never ask Ayame to do page eighty-two again and you wouldn't even think about page one hundred and twelve."

Sai piped in, "And as I recall, he also said he would never do page forty-four either."

"Or page ninety-one," added Asuma.

"Mah, I don't know what any of you are talking about."

Sai and Sasuke moved in closer, curious to see what the fuss was about. Sasuke was not impressed. Sai was a bit confused. He tapped Ibiki and asked, "Is it really supposed to look like that? It's red, wrinkly and quite frankly, a bit ugly. I think perhaps he was supposed to stay in Ayame's womb a bit longer."

Naruto snorted and then said knowledgably, "Aho, you don't know anything about babies do you; they're supposed to look that way. He's just spent nine months in water, you know. He's absolutely perfect."

"If you say so," replied Sai doubtfully. "So," he said looking up at Kakashi, "Is Naruto's mother going to breastfeed? Did you know that children who are breast fed tend to have an IQ seven points higher than children who are not? I've also read that babies that are breastfed are more likely to be slimmer as adults than those that are not breastfed."

The room went totally silent and all eyes fell on Sai.

Naruto shook his head and sighed dramatically. "Man, you really know how to say the wrong thing at the right moment."

"What? I'm not crazy," insisted the boy, "My father had me tested."

"You know what this means don't you?" asked Sasuke, ignoring Sai's remarks, "It means we will finally be able to go on higher ranked missions."

AN:

Thanks to everyone that followed/favorited/commented on the last chapter! BTW, yes, I know who Obito really is, but Kakashi doesn't! hehehe.

New recommendation for all of you - The best one shot ever - Overstimulated by Iruka Sensei871.

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST