Keeping her gaze down low she licked her dry lips and swallowed before taking the short breaths that her chest allowed her to. Her eyes remaining wet with tears she simply had no control over.

"The morning I spoke with you…when I thought I was…getting my period…" she paused to breath. "I went into the bathroom thinking…" she swallowed; "thinking I was already bleeding." She took a few breaths. "When I went in there…I got these…these…" she moved her hands as if trying to explain; "horrible pains." She was struggling as her chest began to rise and fall heavily. Her words now mostly broken but coming on faster and faster as if desperate to get them out; "it was nothing like I've ever felt before…it was…something was…tearing…" her lips now wet with her own tears. "Tearing inside…" saying the words out loud brought on vivid images of that day. Her eyes losing all sense of presence, looking more and more distant as she painted that picture all over again. The pain and sheer panic of that day resurfaced as her hands began to tremble and her words came out as forceful gasps; "I couldn't keep it in!...I couldn't keep it in and I just…I had to…" her own anger pushing through. "I had to push it out! I couldn't keep it in!…and I'm so so sor…." She couldn't finish. She just couldn't anymore. She had no strength left in her as she let herself break once more.

Taking her back into his arms Harm didn't know how much more he could listen to. He was losing her to this and he couldn't bear the sight. Why couldn't he stop this?! Why hadn't he stopped this?! It all seemed…so horrific it couldn't possibly be true. Their child had died right in their bathroom. Right in her hands. And he wasn't there. She had lived through this horror all on her own and he hadn't been there. He hadn't been there to save their child. He hadn't been there to keep his wife safe. Why hadn't he been there!

"I'm so sorry…" she pleaded over and over again, her voice raw from crying.

He had to stop this! This wasn't her fault. Just stop!

"Stop. Stop!" his voice firm as he tried to control the situation and his own anger, not at her but at himself! He was so angry with himself. He swore at the foot of the altar to protect her and he hadn't. He let her down. He let their child down. Maybe if he had been here? He could have gotten her to the hospital! He could have saved their child! And this wouldn't be happening. Not to them! Why was this happening to them?! To her!

Pulling her away again he cupped her face with both hands looking straight into her eyes making his point firm; "Stop!" His own eyes red and hot. His face streaked with tears.

Her eyes looked straight at his.

"Stop! This isn't…your fault…ok?" he demanded. "It's not your fault!"

"I couldn't save him…" she was distraught. Her eyes said it all as she shook her head painfully. "I couldn't save him…"

He didn't miss the 'him' in her words. Him.

She had more to say and his eyes were suddenly giving her the strength. Running the back of her hand under her nose, she thought perhaps the worst of it was over as she regained some composure. "I…I must have passed out because I woke up and…it was all over…it was…the pain was…gone…" she paused to think turning her eyes away from him. "But…" her eyes seem to wander again somewhere distant. "I didn't…know what to…what to do with it."

He stopped.

Where was it?

"What did you do with it?" he sighed sadly. Where was their baby?

She hesitated before; "I buried it."

He processed those words before asking; "Show me. Please."

Making that dreaded walk with him, she led him through the path she had inadvertently dug into the ground. Had he been more curious and had he known what he was looking for, he probably could have made his own way down here. The heavy storm from the previous night had left everything damp and muddy. And yet there was something almost spiritual about walking through wet shrubs and thick soil.

They were headed for the oak tree.

His favorite place in the house.

The grand old and solitary tree had basically sold the house to them. It was strong and tall and felt…so alive! With its dark green shade filling the landscape all year round. And it seemed to…watch over them from the day they moved in…giving Harm an odd sense of peace.

He had stood and simply watched the tree one more than one occasion and had always felt…close to nature. Close to something higher and mightier…something he couldn't quite ever put his finger on. The tree seemed to hold secrets of centuries gone by…and now it held one more. It now held in its bosom a little life that never was. And it would be safe there.

Reaching the oak tree, Sarah walked around to the back…but Harm hesitated and stopped. He felt his chest tighten and his hands clenched as the painful reality of all this suddenly enveloped him. It was one thing to hear her tell the details of what had happened…it was another to see it.

Sensing that Harm had stopped she turned to find him staring at the ground, his eyes unreadable. Scared of this sudden change in him, she bit down on her lip and holding back the tears that were welling in her eyes she tried to set his mind at ease; "It's in a little…box. Very deep in the ground," she explained. But he remained still and silent which broke her heart as she whispered; "You don't have to do this…in fact it's probably best you don't." Her tears falling free and she swallowed the thick sensation in her throat. Walking back she was just about to pass him when he gently held her in place by one arm and looked up at her.

He was sorry. He was so terribly sorry for having doubts. For stopping. For apparently making her feel like this wasn't important to him when it couldn't be further from the truth.

Of course it was! He'd simply had a moment of panic which he now heavily reproached himself for! He had no right to be afraid! She had lived through it all. She had been through this pain and agony on her own. What right had he to feel sorry for himself!

Looking into her eyes he found them sad and lifeless. Their sparkle long gone. And that hurt him down to his core. She was his entire world and he had made her feel like her pain was too much for him. And now he was angry with himself. Why couldn't he stop screwing up! Why couldn't he just fix this! He wanted so desperately to fix all this!

"This is very important to me. You are the most important thing to me," he whispered hoarsely. "Please show me."

She looked straight into his eyes. She needed to know he meant it. She needed to know he understood and he was feeling what she was feeling.

He was.

Slowly turning she made her way back, Harm holding tight onto her hand, interlacing their fingers. Reaching the spot she let go of his hand, the wet seeping through her stockings and the mud staining them as she knelt down on the ground. Sitting on her heels she placed an open palm to indicate the exact spot. Weeks ago there had been a slight elevation right on this spot but the rain had evened out the ground.

Watching her hand gently run over the soil he felt pulled to the ground.

So kneeling beside her, he placed his larger hand over hers.

There were no words needed. There had been enough of that already.

Right now it was just about them holding each other…the three of them.

Wrapping his arms around her, her head resting against his chest, her hair gently blowing across his cheeks. What felt like drizzle when they had stepped out of the house had turned to rain, yet somehow this oak tree only let heavy and intermittent drops fall on them each lost in their own thoughts.