DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I want it, I do not own Naruto. I am still only borrowing the characters and promise to return them in good condition – well, maybe slightly battered - after all, they are doing a 'C' rank mission!

Chapter Thirty-Four:

'C' is for Cunning

You held me down, but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
~Katy Perry~

"Come on granny!" shouted Naruto impatiently, "I'm tired of doing all these boring 'D' rank missions. We deserve better than this! We've already done the required ten for the chunin exam requirements, now we want something better. If we have to catch that damn Tora again, I'm going to cook it and eat it for dinner!"

"Believe it," agreed Sai dryly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He glared at the Hokage and silently dared her to even attempt to give them another lame 'D' rank. He was ready to go all Uchiha on their asses if she even tried… believe that!

"Damn it, now I'm doing it too…!"

Tsunade clenched her fists at his endearment to her and considered their request. She glanced over at Kakashi to get his opinion only to see him reading 'that' book again. "Ahem," she cleared her throat. He didn't look up. "Ahem," she cleared her throat louder.

"You might want to get that looked at Hokage-sama," he murmured and turned a page while still not looking up. With a graceful tilt of his head, he avoided the hurtling pen that embedded itself in the wall inches from his head, calmly snapped the book shut and stowed it away in his pouch. "Maybe later then," he said.

She glowered at him for a moment, disregarded the snickers from the boys and asked, "So what do you think?"

"Mah," he shrugged casually, "It might be a good time for them to cut their teeth on a nice easy 'C' rank.

"Are you sure they're ready?" asked Iruka with a concerned frown.

"What are you talking about!? Of course we're…m-m-mumph…"

"Shut it, baka," hissed Sasuke in his ear as he slapped his hand over the shouting blonde's mouth, "Or you'll blow it for us."

"Oh don't worry, they'll be just fine. After all, I will be with them," reassured Kakashi.

Tsunade studied the list in front of her then pointed out one to the chunin sitting next to her. "I think this one will do quite well."

"Hmm," said Iruka as he read the mission details and agreed. He located the correct scroll and held it out to team seven.

Naruto let out a whoop of delight, leapt forward and snatched it. He was about to open it when it was plucked from his greedy fingertips.

"How about if I take a look at this first? After all, I am the Sensei here." Kakashi ignored his pout, quickly scanned the scroll and nodded before tucking it away in his vest pocket. "This looks good."

"So what are we doing?" asked Naruto excitedly. "Are we going to protect a princess from a horde of hired killers that want to ravage and pillage her kingdom, lay waste to a band of cutthroat pirates, or infiltrate a den of murderous thieves?"

Kakashi shook his head and gave them his famous eye smile. "We're going to retrieve an icon and return it to the monks it was stolen from."

Naruto's face fell in disappointment. "That's it... a little breaking and entering?"

"Yes, but the difficulty will lie in your ability to remain quiet," said Sai. "You never had been very good with rule number two; silence."

"Dissolve in the darkness and become one with the shadows," quoted Naruto. He then gave Sai a sour look and the finger. "Hey Aho, you know you can kiss my white…"

"Naruto! You're standing in front of Lady Hokage," shouted Iruka in exasperation. "Mind your manners,"

Admiring the throbbing vein standing out in Iruka's forehead and the pretty shade of red on his face, Naruto sent an abashed grin at Tsunade, gave a cocky salute, and left with his team and exasperated Sensei.

As they congregated outside, Kakashi instructed, "It will take two weeks to get there so pack accordingly and meet me at the west gate in an hour."

After Sai and Sasuke left, Naruto and Kakashi made their way towards their home. "This mission sounds a little too easy dad."

"Mah maybe, but one should never assume anything. Sometimes clients lie. Although," he paused and looked at the scroll again, "I don't believe that to be the case in this one as it is monks. It's quite possible that they don't have all the correct information though. That sometimes happens."

"Look underneath the underneath, right?"

"Very true," he nodded. "There is Ayame. I'll let her know we are leaving and meet you at the gate."

"Uh huh…you better not be late."

"Ah son… haven't you realized by now that I am never late. Sometimes the road of life just takes unexpected turns and it takes a little longer to reach your destination."

Naruto turned his head to argue with the copy-nin, only to discover that the man had vanished. He huffed and muttered under his breath in irritation, "Oh yeah, he is so – going to be late again…"

~~O~~

Team seven passed through many different villages where waves of travelers, young and old, flooded the packed earthen road around them. Each person's clothing identified his or her profession or place in society. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai drifted among them, fondly remembering their journey with Jiraya as they discreetly studied the familiar uniforms. They were finally getting close to their objective, the village of Makkari.

All around him were civilians; running errands, working, or chatting among themselves. Men, women, and children of all classes. Naruto grinned as he trudged along the road. The crisp, cool winter's day was enough to make anyone smile, but the exhilarating feeling of freedom increased his joy. There was so much to see, smell, and hear. It had been far too long since he'd been on a long journey and he couldn't help but be thrilled.

Sasuke shook his head as a short, curly-haired girl around his own age struggled nearby, hefting a large backpack. No wonder armies were made up of men! He sighed and shook his head again in disappointment. With the exception of the kunoichi from his village, it was clear that girls and women just weren't cut out to be warriors. He watched the short girl drop her pack and stop to rest, taking big gulps of air. "How do they even survive with so little strength?" he thought in distaste.

As they left the town and followed the rising, winding road into the forest, the trees became taller, the scrub denser. The road itself grew shadier. Massive, swaying groves of giant bamboo appeared on both sides of the path. Close, convenient hiding places for bandits.

The boys felt their anticipation rise in hopes of running into such an occurrence.

Suddenly the flavor of the travelers around them changed again. They noticed fewer townsfolk on the road now. There were many more farmers, all moving in groups for safety. Sai spotted an unemployed samurai too.

He felt his tension grow as another one appeared. It was unusual to find one without a master and to see two gave him pause. Sai watched the tall, proud swordsmen strut past, chins held high, worn kimonos barely holding together. He glanced over at Kakashi to see him also eyeing the men warily.

The fate of such men was a sad one. Samurai were being used less and less, being replaced by ninja. The once vast armies had been disbanded, leaving many to become Ronin; warriors adrift and idle, without Lord or purpose. Many had lapsed into lives of drinking, illegal dueling, or banditry. Kakashi cautioned them in a low undertone, "Stay alert."

The trail was also dotted with monks; and more importantly for team seven, pilgrims of all ages. Their presence would help make them invisible on the road, for today, they was just one of them. Most pilgrims, Kakashi knew, would be heading for a popular shrine at one of the many temples that dotted the Land of Mountains.

To anyone inspecting them, team seven appeared to be typical pilgrims off to pray at the temple. They wore a wide, conical straw sun hats, brightly painted with spiritual slogans, drab brown weatherproof cloaks, tied round their necks and extending to their knees to help camouflage their fit bodies. Pale reed-matting bedrolls hung on their backs, so that like most pilgrims, they could sleep in the grounds of shrines or temples as they traveled. Unlike most pilgrims though, their tightly rolled bundles hid swords and kits full of unusual tools and scrolls.

Their clients; the peaceful monks from a neighboring village, had desired complete autonomy – hence the disguises.

Kakashi watched his team of genin play their roles with satisfaction. Although they carried with them a deeply ingrained alertness and wariness that was a little unusual to see in typical boys their ages, they were doing very well. To their fellow travelers, Sasuke and Sai appeared to be meek, pious young boys on a long pilgrimage. Naruto, on the other hand, tried very hard to give that illusion as well, but was unable to tamp down his innate exuberance. He took to giving everyone he met blessings. They started out innocent enough.

"May you be half an hour in Heaven before the Shinigami realizes you're dead."

And then…

"May the fleas of a thousand dogs infest the crotch of any person who messes with you and may their arms be too short to scratch it!"

"Well," thought Kakashi wryly as people began to give them a wide berth to avoid the overly enthusiastic boy, "On the plus side, at least we have now our privacy."

The trail emptied as the civilians ahead of them turned the bend. Kakashi repeatedly checked the lush forest on both sides of the road as they walked. It was well known that many parts in the Land of Mountains were unsafe, plagued with bandits and thieves. And while he knew that they could easily handle such people, to do so might raise suspicions if they were seen. Unexpected danger could prove as close as that next curve in the road or shadowy glade.

Around each settlement, inns, food, and gift shops lined the roads leading out. They were just passing the last tea shop when the copy-nin spotted the stocky ronin samurai from earlier hurrying towards him with a determined glint in his eyes. He sighed regretfully to himself, glanced at his team… and felt his chest swell with pride.

Pretending to watch the road ahead, they were all studying the one approaching.

They noticed that the stranger wore a single sword, belted and tied as if he knew how to use it. He wasn't very tall, but his steps were long, so he was flexible, and there was energy in each stride he took. His hands dangled at his sides, but his fingers were still, as if controlled. The samurai appeared relaxed, yet his eyes were locked on them and he moved as if with purpose. A concealed purpose. There were no scars on his face, so either he didn't fight much, or when he did, he won.

The samurai quickened his pace toward their group, then raised one hand and pointed at Kakashi.

Sasuke felt his stomach muscles tighten, his body readying itself for attack. At any moment the samurai would be close enough for a sword strike. Although eager for some action, he held himself back as his brother Itachi's most frequent advice came back to him.

Never react too fast. Think before you strike.

They all stopped walking, carefully taking in the potential threat with sideways glances. The stranger's left hand rose from his side, brushing the scabbard of his sword. Kakashi kept himself calm and still, hoping his team would do the same.

Naruto fought the urge to jump to the right and draw a shuriken. Kakashi's training rang through his mind, stopping him. His eyes flicked to the samurai. If caution was the wrong response, this man could attack at any second. The stranger's left hand scratched his belly hard through his jacket.

"Hey!" he grunted, "You four!"

Naruto held his breath. He was now within reach of the man's sword. He wanted to spring clear, but instead turned to face the samurai. All three boys hid their wariness of the stranger and bowed respectfully.

"Yes, sir?" Kakashi smiled harmlessly. "Blessings to you on this beautiful day. How may I or my young novices help you?"

"You all are in grave danger! Hire me!" The warrior gestured uphill with one hand, gripping his scabbard with the other. "Otherwise, they'll kill you! They're waiting just ahead, you know!"

Inwardly, Sai had his doubts as to the truthfulness of the man's accusations, but he wasn't sure. He thought, "Who is this samurai? Who are these enemies he spoke of? How had their cover been ruined so quickly?" He obeyed Kakashi's instructions: when uncertain, never admit anything and never assume anything. Sticking to his cover, he gasped and looked quickly in all directions as though in fear.

"Who would want to kill us?" Sai asked with wide eyes, a tremor in his voice. To be convincing as an unarmed boy pilgrim, he had to seem vulnerable. "We are but humble travelers yearning only to pray at the fire shrine."

The samurai pointed uphill. "To get there, first you must get through there. Just over the top of this ridge is the barrier. Past that, is the thickest, darkest bit of the forest. That's where pilgrims, especially young ones, go missing all the time. Bandits take them!" He scowled, elbowing Kakashi. "But not the ones who hire themselves a bodyguard!"

So that was it. The ronin was an out-of-work samurai bodyguard. His tale about bandits was probably a lie to get them to pay him. He was all about money.

Well, I don't know about other pilgrims," Kakashi said, "but me and my boys can't afford a bodyguard. I'm very sorry, but we'll have to take our chances." He nodded his head and turned to walk on.

"Wait, don't go!" The man sidestepped into his path. "Just for you, I'll make an exception. Forget cash if you're hard up! Your bedrolls would cover my fees nicely." His face darkened. "I insist you accept my generosity!" One hand moved to his sword. He took a half-step forward, entering Kakashi's personal space to intimidate him.

Kakashi sighed. Here indeed was a neat trick: this man's game was to rob people with a kind of polite bullying, using the threat of imaginary robbers lurking over the next hill. A good first test for his team - how to get rid of this man without drawing unwanted attention.

The copy-nin bowed his head as though considering the man's offer. He turned his head and gave the boys a significant look. "Well kids… what do you think?"

Sasuke's eyes darted across the road to the teahouse. Above the little wooden hut flew a banner, reading: REFRESHMENTS! LAST CHANCE BEFORE BIG CLIMB.

"I think he's right; we do need protection," said Sasuke carefully.

Sai nodded in agreement. "We do have some ryo from begging at a shrine a few towns back."

Naruto, reading his teammate's minds, groaned and whined a bit pathetically, "Yeah, but that hill up ahead, it's just so big…"

The samurai followed his gaze and then frowned. "What? So it's steep! It's also the only way you'll get to the shrine."

Sasuke looked at Kakashi and pointed to the teahouse. "I think we should do it. We should hire him just to be safe. Maybe we can get some tea first, before we tackle the hard part? We can use those ryo to buy us all one."

"Mah that sounds like a good idea" replied the copy-nin with a nod and a smile.

"Now you're talking!" The stranger paused and wagged a finger in Kakashi's face. "But it doesn't change our deal about the bedrolls."

Kakashi held out his hands in a harmless gesture and said innocently, "Mah mah, of course not."

Sasuke led them to some empty stools on the tiny porch outside the teahouse. As he walked, he nodded meaningfully to Sai.

~~O~~

Sai carefully fished through his pouch for some ryo and then for a tiny object wedged next to them: a bamboo phial sealed with a cork plug. He smiled secretively.

While studying under Tsunade's guidance, Sai had always found the science of potions, particularly flower and herb identification, somewhat inspiring. It was his favorite part of the whole medic training. The beautiful, buxomly Hokage was surely the land's greatest expert in poisons of every kind, and she had taught him well.

Naruto urged the samurai to sit and relax while Sai bought their tea. The serving lady filled four clay cups and then stooped to clean her wooden ladle in a stone basin. Before turning back to face his unwanted companion, Sai deftly flicked three drops of clear, odorless liquid into one teacup and returned the phial to its hiding place.

"Here you are, sir." He put the drugged tea down before the samurai.

Naruto; who had been watching the man as well, suddenly stood up and brought everyone's attention to him. "Wait," he said as the man started to peer into his cup. He held up his own and said cheerily, "Let's drink to our success and to the ruin of all those terrible kidnapping bandits!"

The stranger grunted in agreement, stood up with everyone else, and drained his cup in two fast gulps.

Sai smiled to himself. This one's gluttony would work against him. He sat down, listening to the birdsong of the forest, watching the passersby, while he counted silently. When he had reached sixty, he glanced at his would-be bodyguard.

The man's eyes were already half-closed and his head was lolling forward. Naruto sprang to his feet. "We must be going now, sir. I can see you're not yet rested, so, Kami bless you in all your endeavors!" He bounded from the porch, followed by the rest of the team and started walking away towards the steep hill. His sharp ears told him that the samurai had struggled to his feet and was swaying on the spot, leaning on creaking furniture

"Hey!" the man called, his speech slurred. "You can't go. You need me. My sword is… I am… I can't be… defeated!" He gave a sharp belch.

The boys glanced back over their shoulders. The samurai raised one hand, pointing. His head sagged onto his chest. The hand flailed, dropped. He blinked hard several times, swayed a little, and then tumbled headlong from the porch to land facedown in the road. A small dust cloud rose around him.

The serving lady hurried from her shop and leaned over him, tilting her head to one side. Her face creased with surprise. The samurai was already snoring loudly. She returned to the porch, snatched up his teacup, and peered warily into it.

Sai shook his head and quickened his pace to catch up with Kakashi. Naruto snickered softly at the clueless man. Sasuke looked back one last time with a little smile. In a low voice, he murmured, "That'll teach you to mess with pilgrims."

"So," said Naruto gleefully, "How long do you think it'll be before his buddy tries to ambush us?"

Kakashi shook his head. "I doubt he will since that man isn't with us."

"Bummer," said Naruto with a crestfallen look.

AN:

Thanks to everyone that followed/favorited/commented on the last chapter!

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST