DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I want it, I do not own Naruto. I am still only borrowing the characters and promise to return them in good condition – well, maybe slightly battered!

This is for Don1999, who slammed me with one word reviews - lol - you made my day!

Chapter Thirty-Seven:

'C' is for Chicken

Things aren't the way they were before You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end

~Linkin Park~

The copy-nin studied the boys carefully before answering. "I have decided to leave the planning and execution to you three."

Sasuke's eyes widened in excitement; he couldn't believe they were being given this chance already. "Seriously?" he asked.

Naruto was barely able to contain the urge to throw himself in the man's arms in gratitude. He shot a grateful look at the jonin and nudged Sai. "What's the plan then?"

Sasuke, eager to be the one to come up with the plan, answered, "I think we should use Sai's eagle to fly up to the roof. It is the easiest point of entry and will be the least heavily guarded area. Remember, the monks don't want the lord to know they have their icon back."

Sai shook his head. "But we're not supposed to use ninjutsu."

Naruto disagreed, "It's not a rule… more like a guideline. We just need to make it look like thieves did it."

"So that means we can't be seen and no obvious or destructive ninjutsu…" Sai mused thoughtfully, "I believe your plan has merits. If we go late at night and fly high enough, no one should be able to see the bird."

Naruto's brows furrow in thought as he thought up many different scenarios. "So what do we do about the guards outside? Remember rule number one, preparation. Analyze the target in order to predict their thoughts and movement."

Sai nodded. "Wise counsel."

Naruto smiled. "I do have my moments."

"Yes, as brief and fleeting as they may be."

Naruto took an abrupt step backward, his eyes wide. "Was that a joke?"

"I have my moments as well," Sai murmured.

Sasuke frowned. He really wanted to go inside, but knew that he had the best night vision. "Be serious you two," he snapped. "I can take care of them if I need to and keep watch on the wall."

"Aw cheer up Sasuke, there is more guards outside than in. You might get to knock them all out," said Naruto with a sincere look.

Sai calmly reminded him, "We are not supposed to raise any alarm, Dickless."

The trio looked up at Kakashi for approval. At his nod, they excitedly began to prepare for their first solo mission. Sasuke pulled a scroll from his pack, spread it open, and released the seal.

"Ooooh…pretty…," said Naruto in awe, staring at the rather large collection of kunai, shuriken, darts, senbon, swords and other weapons of the fine art of death.

"Yeah, isn't it a beautiful sight? Every man has to have a hobby," said Sasuke in a purely reverent male tone. "This is my little piece of heaven."

"Well, I now know what I would like for my next birthday," said Sai, worshipfully staring at the small box of poison. He shook his head and wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth. "Uh, what was I saying? Oh right… I think it would be wise to have more eyes on the wall. The property is rather large and you cannot possibly watch everything."

Sasuke gave a grunt which they all were easily able to translate… disapproval.

"Sai's right," chirped Naruto, "And don't you shake your head at me, Teme, you know he is. Just do it already."

Sasuke huffed and looked ready to refuse, but the obstinate glint in Naruto's eye had him muttering, "Tch, fine." He punctured his thumb and grudgingly made the required hand signs for summoning his little sentries.

Before the smoke even cleared, tiny, warbled voices began to cheer, "Sasuke, Sasuke, he's our man! We're his world's greatest fans!"

"Huh," remarked Kakashi dryly, "Who knew a chicken could hold pom-poms?"

"Tch."

"Oh," said Naruto with a snigger, "You should see them do a pyramid!"

"Hn."

"Personally, I rather like the song they sing," added Sai. "It is quite appealing and memorable."

"Tch."

"Ooh-ooh yeah, do the song, do the song!" shouted Naruto excitedly.

"Hn. Aren't we supposed to be preparing for the mission?"

"Mah, I believe we have a little extra time before you prep them…and besides, I haven't heard it yet," said Kakashi. "Sing your song, little chicks."

The little chickens lined up in front of Sasuke, looking up at him worshipfully and began to sing:

Uchiha Sasuke, you're our king, just the sight of you makes us sing.

Hair as black as a raven's wing, eyes that shine like a diamond ring,

Uchiha Sasuke, you're our king, we're your yang to your ying.

Sasuke sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose as they all laughed uproariously. "You know - I hate you all."

~~O~~

Night. Silence. The moon and the stars were hidden behind the clouds. Only the light from the large lanterns hanging beside the gate made it possible to see anything; ideal conditions for their kind of work. The darker it was, the easier it would be to get the job done. Naruto knew the real moon would rise all too soon from behind the distant mountains, a glowing crescent that would flood the rooftops with a dangerous amount of light. They had to stay ahead of that moonrise, or at the very least be on their way out of the castle when it struck.

Sasuke balanced precariously on top of the tall stone wall and looked out with his Sharingan blazing. He sent out his chickens to the other side of the property to keep a look out. Shoving the little nub in his ear, he spoke quietly into the mic, "Can you hear me? All's clear."

Sai; humming the chicken's song under his breath, quickly drew an eagle and jumped on it. He held out his hand to Naruto and asked, "Ready?"

The blonde felt his chest tighten in anticipation. He grinned widely, gave a short nod and grabbed his hand. "Let's do this!"

The ink bird flew silently into the dark sky and within a heartbeat they melded into the night. Not even his enhanced vision could make out their silhouettes. Kakashi nodded to himself in approval.

~~O~~

The lights of the house came into view. The lighted torches were beside the central entrance of the mansion, and there were four guards standing there – or rather one guard was standing while the other three were sitting on the steps engaged in conservation.

"Damn it, they're not sleeping!" hissed Naruto in disappointment.

"That is their job, Dickless."

"No, I meant the people in the house. And by the way…can't you just go back to calling me whiskers?" he added redundantly with a little indignant huff.

Naruto and Sai stared at the huge manor as they got closer. There was a light in the second floor window. Someone wasn't sleeping and that meant potential problems. In their line of work there was nothing worse than people who didn't go to bed like any decent law-abiding citizen should.

"Looks like only one. We'll have to be extremely quiet. Go higher."

There was total silence all around way up high up in the night sky, not a sound but the light wind that caressed the crowns of the trees. No birds were calling and no crickets were singing. It was as though the world was holding its breath.

They made it to the roof without being spotted.

~~O~~

Naruto jumped down, landing on cat's feet. He turned to the ninja behind him. Sai's hooded cloak showed only his eyes, but he offered him a confidant smile anyway. The thin silhouette promptly returned a nod.

By unspoken agreement, Sai released his jutsu, adjusted the sword on his back, and then stretched out to press an ear to the cold, curved tiles. After a few seconds ticked by, he reached into his backpack and withdrew a small crowbar. While he silently worked the first large tile loose, Naruto rotated slowly on the spot, checking their surroundings for any hint of movement.

His sharp eyes probed the darkness, ears strained to pick up any hint of trouble. Naruto felt his mouth turn dry. It wasn't due to anything he saw or heard. Anxiety and fear, though never pleasant, were actually friends. They kept a spy sharp, cautious, attentive to detail, thereby improving the chances of surviving a mission.

Naruto finished his sweep of the rooftop. There was no hint of movement, but it was better to be safe then sorry. One hasty, eye-catching move or careless sharp sound and the mission would be ruined. Worse still, the hunters could suddenly become the hunted.

Growing up, Naruto had heard many awful stories from Kakashi and his friends about shinobi who were detected and then trapped in cellars, drains, or attics. Attics just like this one.

The nastiest tales all involved an enemy retaliating with fire. Naruto pictured the horribly scarred face of Raidō. He told him about being cornered in a stable by a line of enemy Iwa shinobi, doused with oil, then set alight even as he fought wildly to escape…

Naruto glanced down at the hole Sai was making in the roof and tried not to picture burning flames.

"Almost finished?" he whispered a little uneasily.

"Give me another second."

Naruto nodded and then slowly and cautiously began a second circle, the words of his father echoing in his head.

~~Flashback~~

Naruto picked a small packet of powdery substance from his pack and stared at it for a moment, deep in thought. So far, he had only tested it on Bull – unbeknownst to the poor ninken. It worked like a charm, but still, it had never been tested on a human.

He thought. "Man, I wish I could have tried this on Sai before we left… he owes me for that last experiment of his."

"Naruto."

He looked up at the softly uttered word. "Yeah?"

Kakashi squatted down and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. Although it didn't show, Naruto could sense the worry in his father. He gave the man a questioning glance.

"Uh, listen to me for a minute. I have something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Be careful, be vigilant, and be safe. This might be just a simple mission, but if you two are detected, ambush and death could swoop in quickly. There was only one place in the world you can relax: the walled confines of Konohagakure."

Naruto knew that his rank as a genin of Konoha would offer no protection. If he or any of team seven were caught breaking into a lord's home like this, that nobleman's sentries and bodyguards would instantly unleash a hail of arrows or sword cuts upon them, no questions asked. They all were highly trained shinobi, but even that couldn't save them from death.

Naruto gave him a serious look and than patted his hand reassuringly. "I know dad, I know; believe in me… believe in us. You don't need to worry so much, after all, it was you who trained me, remember. I'm a shinobi."

"Yes and a fine one at that." Kakashi watched him excitedly walk over to Sai and Sasuke. He added under his breath, "But you'll always be my son."

~~O~~

On the horizon, black mountains carved the wide sky and their distant snowy caps glowed like an upturned white bowl, faint in the moonlight. Naruto stared northwest to the bay. Tiny lights bobbed in the harbor where guards protected their lords' coastal ships.

At first, Naruto heard no sounds but the usual: cats fighting here and there; far off, the barking of a startled dog, quickly followed by its owner's rebuke; a shrill seabird, calling to its mate on the bay. Then noises from the mansion grounds made him hold his breath and listen hard. Footsteps, muffled voices. Lord Fukisaka's guards were making their rounds.

A gentle breeze swept the roof. Naruto pulled down the edge of his hood, cooling the sweat on his upper lip as he drew in the soft wind's salty tang. A tap on his shoulder made him turn. Sai had finished lifting tiles and it was time for them to part.

Sai swung his legs into the hole and was about to jump when Naruto grabbed his arm. With a slight hitch in his voice, he warned, "Be careful, be vigilant, and be safe."

"You too, my brother," replied Sai evenly as he slipped into the dark recesses of the castle.

~~Naruto~~

Naruto shimmied down the side of the building to a balcony. After testing the door and finding it locked, he peered inside the room. It was too dark to see anything that he could substitute himself with to gain entry so he bent down and retrieved a lock pick hidden within the wrappings on his leg.

"Locked… Why is it," he thought with an inner chuckle, "That people are never very happy to see me in their homes? What did I ever do to them? I mean it's not like I'm going to steal from them…oh right, I guess I am!"

He had the lock opened within seconds. Actually that puny little thing on the door had no right to call itself by the proud name of "lock." He pushed the door slightly open, parted the light, filmy curtains aside with his hands and entered the lord's castle.

It was pitch dark inside and the old lord was well-known for having a lot of guests stay there. Naruto hoped that it wasn't some old lady's bedroom or there would be shouting and screaming for sure. Worse yet – he might see some old lady in her night clothes.

He shuddered at the thought.

Naruto stood as still as a statue for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. There was a thin strip of light under the door leading to the corridor which helped him see. He was in a large room filled with books and scrolls.

A library.

He made his way silently across the unlighted room, walking around a desk that stood out as a black patch against the dark grey background. The heavy doors opened easily with barely a rasp of their well oiled hinges.

~~Sai~~

Sai peered into the dark attic considered his options. Although he wasn't supposed to use any ninjutsu, he reached into his pack and withdrew a tiny mouse that he'd created before he started this mission. It was decidedly battered looking and nearly out of the chakra required to sustain it, but it would do.

He tied a string around it and lowered it down the shadowy hole he'd created in the floor. A few tense and breathless seconds later the mouse dispelled, the inked words flying up into the ceiling and onto the paper, leaving its information with Sai. It was all clear. He put on his gloves, widened the opening a bit, and jumped down. Like most of the rooms in the castle, this one was also dark. Sai crept over to the door and was about to open it when he heard footfalls just outside.

"I'm telling you, I saw something."

A second voice responded just outside the room, "You're always hearing or seeing something and nothing is ever there. Last week you nearly got us fired from this job because you claimed you saw someone walking on the roof. You had the whole damn castle on high alert; and all for some figment of your imagination."

"Look, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry to you? I still swear I saw someone. How about if we just peek in a few rooms to satisfy my curiosity? If it's all clear I won't say anything else for the rest of the night."

"Fine," replied the obviously irritated voice, "We'll take a quick peek in a few of the empty ones. You go to the right and I'll take the left."

"Shit," thought Sai as he saw the doorknob slowly turn. He could barely make out any details of the room, so he had no idea where to hide himself. He slid up against the wall, henged into a potted tree and prayed that the man wasn't a shinobi.

A simple henge like this wouldn't fool any trained ninja.

The door opened and a large weasel faced man stepped into the room. He held up the oil lantern and glanced around. Not seeing anything, he rooted through his nose. After inspecting his finger, he flicked it, and walked out.

Sai transformed back into himself and gave a slight shudder of revulsion. He gingerly lifted the edge of his cloak and used it to wipe the booger from his face. "Unsanitary…disgusting…vile…," he muttered under his breath.

~~Naruto~~

Naruto was stealthy, creeping down a large hallway when he felt something change in the air. It was slight and unnoticeable to the untrained, not quite a breeze but more of a shift of air pressure. Someone was coming. Whoever it was had an incredibly light step. That meant a high level of stealth training. He slid into a niche and hid within the shadows as he waited for the man to pass.

The man paused for a briefest moment before continuing on. Naruto was not fooled for an instant. He waited in the shadows, barely breathing, and sure enough, the man came back. His rich garments gave his status. He was the lord's son… the shinobi.

The man started to make hand signs.

"Oh crap!" So it was true – he did have ninja training. Naruto focused his chakra and quickly made the ram seal. A clone popped up behind the man with no noise or smoke and before the man could complete whatever jutsu he planned, Naruto appeared in front of him and grabbed him around him neck tightly.

Adrenalin made him stronger than ever as the man's eyes almost protruded from the tremendous pressure. He frantically grasped and clawed at Naruto's face, making no noise and turning blue. The blonde lifted the man off of the carpeted floor and shoved him against the wall hard enough to crack the plaster with his body.

"That old woman was right… he is a joke," thought the blondewith a grim smile. If there was one thing Kakashi had been strict on, it was to finish the job - no slacking, even on the easy jobs. Thankfully, the man only made a soft muffled 'oomph' when Naruto released him. He and his clone grabbed the man and dragged him into an empty room to decide what to do with him. He wasn't supposed to be seen.

AN:

Sorry I left it there, but I really wanted to publish this early since I got so many reviews on the last chapter! I have a bit more to finish on the next chapter so it should come out fairly quick!

Thanks to everyone that followed/favorited/commented on the last chapter! Again big thanks to guest reviewers - Don1999, Stephanie, Gamm89, and unnamed

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST