So this is probably the randomest thing I've ever written. Lol, I'm not even sure it makes sense. This is actually a conversation similar to one I had with my own gf and friends recently. Btw, Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed, it means the world to me. And just so you guys know, I don't do smut. I'm way too awkward for that lol. Disclaimer: I don't own glee.

Santana and Dani were spending a quiet evening together cuddled on the couch, watching a movie. Santana was sitting against the couch while Dani laid down with her head in Santana's lap. They had just finished a grueling shift at the diner and just wanted to relax.

"Hey San?" Dani asked, moving her eyes from the t.v to her girlfriend.

"Hmm?"

"The last man on earth is sitting alone in a room. Someone knocks on the door. Who is it?"

Santana playfully rolled her eyes. "Here we go again" she thought. Dani was going through a phase where she kept telling jokes and riddles to anyone that would listen. She even got to the customers at the diner who were nice enough to humor her. And humoring Dani was exactly what Santana did. It didn't bother her that her girlfriend told the corniest jokes she ever heard.

"Umm, a ghost?" Santana said. She knew it wasn't the answer and she knew she wasn't going to get the answer. She just guessed because it made it more fun for Dani.

"Nope" the blue haired girl said, grinning.

"An alien?" Santana guessed again.

"Nu-uh"

"Okay Dan, I give up. Who was knocking?"

"A woman" she said grinning. "Get it? Because he's the last man on earth." She started laughing loudly. Santana laughed along too. Not because the riddle was funny, but because Dani herself was so funny.

"You're such a dork" Santana told her. She leaned down and placed a kiss on the other girl's lips.

"You love it" she mumbled against Santana's lips. She went to deepen the kiss but the phone suddenly rang.

"Why don't you just let it ring for once?" Santana grumbled.

"Because it could be an emergency." she said looking through the cushions and fishing out Santana's cell phone. "It's Rachel"

Santana scowled and answered the phone. "Why is it that every time I'm about to get my mack on, you or Lady Hummel somehow get in the way?"

"Well hello to you too Santana. How are you doing this evening?" Rachel asked in mock innocence.

"Cut the crap and get to the point please."

"Right. Kurt and I made a bet and we need you and Dani to answer a question for us."

"Okay..." she said. She looked at Dani who shrugged. They both put their phones on speaker so that Kurt and Dani could hear.

"So what's the question?" Dani asked curiously.

"We wanted to know which name you guys will take when you get married. Lopez or Munroe?" Kurt asked so simply, he might as well have been asking for paper or plastic at the store.

Dani and Santana looked at the phone and then at each other. "Um..w-what?" Santana stuttered stupidly. "What kind of question is that?"

"Well Blaine and I are trying to figure out which name to keep when we get married in a couple months. We want to be traditional and not hyphenate, but that also means taking the "man" in the relationship's last name. But we're both men and-"

"What does this have to do with me and Santana?" Dani interrupted.

Rachel answered her. "We somehow went from discussing the "man" in Kurt's relationship to the "man" in yours. Which begs the question: Who's last name are you keeping when you tie the knot?"

Santana face palmed. She couldn't believe her friends were asking her and Dani such a stupid question.

Dani looked at her girlfriend's frustrated face and spoke into the phone. "I think you guys just offended her. But I think I understand what you're asking. You want to know which one of us takes on the stereotypical male role?" she asked trying not to make this more awkward than it already was.

"Yeah. Like who kills the spiders and opens the pickle jars? Who's more dominant-"

"Who's the top and who's the bottom?" Kurt blurted out bluntly, cutting off Rachel.

Santana snapped up an grabbed the phone out of Dani's hand. "What is wrong with you two? Why do you want to know all that so much?"

"Because we're curious about your relationship." Rachel said.

"And because I bet Rachel that Dani's the dominant one and she said it was you." Kurt added.

Santana looked at Dani and sighed.. "Okay one: unlike you and Pretty Pony, I rather hold off on marriage. Me and Dani are young and don't need to rush it. Which also means we're not thinking about who's last name we're keeping. And two: everything is equal in our relationship. No one does more than the other. Right babe?" she asked Dani.

Dani hesitated."Well..." She heard Kurt and Rachel "ooing" over the phone.

"Shut up" Santana yelled at them and then turned back to Dani. "What do you mean 'well..' We're totally equals."

"I know, I know. It's just that I do kill all the spiders in here. And I do take you out more than you take me out." she finished with a shrug.

"You know I'm terrified of spiders." Santana pouted. "And besides I do most of the cooking. What do you think about that?" she shot back.

"All I'm hearing is that Dani's the top and you're the bottom," Kurt called out over the phone. Santana scowled while Dani giggled and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"That has nothing to do with our sex lives and you know it, Kurt" Dani said. "And San does a lot of the maintenance work around here. That's a stereotypical male thing to do right."

"Yeah, I had to carry and install our ceiling fan all by myself because Dani's so tiny" Santana teased.

"And because you're too cheap and prideful to call to hire someone to do for us." Dani added.

"Details, details." Santana said. "So does that answer your question Wonder Twins?"

"Yes Santana, that was very informative" Rachel answered. "Now Kurt, it's clear that Santana's the dominant one in the relationship. You have to cover my shift next Friday night."

Kurt scoffed at that. "Um you're delusional. Dani clearly wears the pants, so you owe me $50 for my date with Blaine."

"Right well we're going to go now. Good luck figuring your bet out" Dani told Kurt and Rachel, but they were too busy arguing to listen to her. Dani ended the call and passed it to Santana who put it on silent.

"That was interesting" Santana commented. She repositioned her on the couch so Dani could lay on her lap again.

"I'll say. Our friends are weird...and kinda offensive" Santana hummed in agreement and went back to watching the movie on t.v.

They were quiet for a moment before Santana spoke up. "I'm taking you out tomorrow night."

Dani looked up at her curiously "Why?"

"Because what you said was true. You do take me out on more dates than I take you out. So I'm gonna be a good girlfriend and make it up to you."

"Babe, you don't have to do that. It's not necessary." Dani told her, but Santana wasn't having any of it. Dani could tell by the look on her face. "Fine, but I get to make you breakfast in the morning, since you cook all the time."

Santana smiled. "Deal." she said and placed a quick kiss on Dani's lips.

"Hey San?"

"Yes?"

"Knock knock" Santana rolled her eyes for the second time that night "Here we ago again"she thought.

"Who's there?"

"Leena."

"Leena who?"

"Leena a little closer so I can kiss you again." Dani said smiling while Santana giggled.

"That's your best one yet" she said and complied with the kiss.

So yeah, that was..something. So the next one is a flashback chapter. And I'm also going to be working on another fic soon. It's going to be about a famous Dani lovato(or Munroe) and aspiring singer Santana Lopez interacting on twitter and eventually meeting and getting together. Review!