21st May 1848
Ben left early this morning with the Sheriff. He left instructions that he may be gone for the whole day. This is becoming a regular occurrence but it doesn't bother me none these days. Hop Sing is away visiting a cousin so its just me and the boys. I don't know what it is that's so important, I mind my own business but he ain't out drinkin i know that for sure. He comes back exhausted and just falls into bed.
The boys were so funny this morning. I heard a crash in the kitchen followed by a quick scuffle. I ran in to see what it was about. I could see Hoss's bottom peeking out from one of the cupboards. If he thinks that he's hiding from someone that way he must have had quite a few tannings in his time because I could see him plain as day. The source of their mischief was on the ground. The cookie jar was smashed to smithereens, but even funnier little Joe was standing rocking from one foot to the other with the sorriest look on his little face you ever did see. The child hadn't the wit to run and hide, he just stood there excepting his fate. It was all I could do not to laugh and scoop him up but I had to be firm. They each got a swat on their bottom after they cleaned up the mess. I hate to be so hard on them but I must teach them to be good honest God fearing boys.
Later we went picking blackberries for a pie I was baking for the boys supper. If, that is, there would be any berries left for a pie. Hoss was eating more than he was collecting in his tin. He had berries all over his face. I had to dose him when we got back as he had a stomach ache and a dose of the runs. I always maintain there's nothin worse for a body than fruit. It runs right through ye.
After supper we had prayers. Hoss read from the bible. His reading is coming on. He no longer needs to follow the words with his finger. I'm very proud of him, reading does not come easy to Hoss.
A messenger came in the early evening to say that Mr Cartwright is delayed and can't return until tomorrow morning. His horse is gone lame. The only thing lame is that excuse but its not for me to say.
Later
I am shaking as I write this, a most terrible thing has happened.
The boys were in bed long since and I was reading by the fire. I must have fallen asleep. I awoke feeling a cold breeze on my face. It was then that I noticed the front door was swinging open. I stood holding my breath. Then I could hear heavy footsteps upstairs. I'm used the hearing the bare feet of the two little ones patting about upstairs but it wasn't them. Slowly and carefully I went to Mr Cartwright's desk all the while keeping my eyes fixed on the stairs. I slowly pulled open the drawer and extracted the revolver.
Barely able to breathe and shaking from head to foot I walked slowly up the stairs. The first horror to greet my eyes was the open door. The locked room was open. I prayed I would see Ben there and then I could breathe again. What I saw was a stranger rifling through the drawers, a dark haired ruffian, tall and thin. With shaking hands I raised the gun and clicked it ready. I wasn't planning to shoot I just wanted him to know I meant business. But he heard the click and spun around taking his own gun from its holster. I fired. His gun clattered to the ground. He growled in pain, letting loose a string of oaths and curses. He looked at me with murderous intent, I fired again this time shattering the mirror beside his head. He ran towards me, I let out a piercing scream. I expected attack but when none came I felt brave and fired off two more shots over his head. Next I watched as he half ran half fell down the stairs. He picked himself up and stumbled towards the front door. He turned before leaving and I could clearly see dark eyes and a shock of black hair under his hat. He stumbled out.
Though I knew he was wounded at my hand I did not follow, I ran instead to the room of my charges. In panic I noted empty beds but whimpering soon came to my ears and I found them huddled under Hoss's bed. I was so relieved. If anything were to happen to them at the hands of that ruffian, I wouldn't be responsible for what I would do.
Oh diary, I'm so afraid. I checked the house twice since. Its gone three in the morning and I'm huddled in my bed with Hoss and Joe and a loaded revolver. I'll give that Ben Cartwright what for when I see him leaving us in his house with no protection.