DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I want it, I do not own Naruto. I am still only borrowing the characters and promise to return them in good condition – well, maybe slightly battered!

AN:

This is my attempt at psychological warfare based on a conversation with Dark Serpent Cat. Thanks a lot! Also, I forgot to add my thanks to yellowflash-reincarnated for the inspiration on Mearī Sū in the last chapter!

Thanks to beta, TheTrueMasterofTempest for helping with this chapter!

Chapter Forty-Seven:

The Road to Chunin: Epiphany of an Artist

We are the ones who will never be broken

With our final breath

We'll fight to the death

We are soldiers, we are soldiers

~Otherwise~

Sai's eyes lit up when the blonde kunoichi returned from the arena floor. He nonchalantly stated, "I found your battle to be quite entertaining, Ino Yamanaka."

Proud of her win, Ino was taken aback at his implication. She was about to argue but quickly realized the futility of it. Instead, she just muttered, "Shut up, Sai."

"Naruto said you look like a drowned cat, but I do not believe that you look like that at all. I think all that water just makes you look even more beautiful."

Ino gasped in outrage as she saw that his eyes were glued to the shirt that clung to her like a second skin; complements of the water user she had just fought. She blushed, crossed her arms over her chest, and muttered angrily, "Shut up, pervert."

"Of course, your opponent was remarkably inept."

Her expression became petulant and then she shot him a venomous glare. "Shut up now, you idiot."

"Still, I should congratulate you anyway. Would you like a kiss?"

"Ick, don't even think about it."

Without warning, he gave her arm a jerk. Ino gasped as she found herself tumbling into his lap with his arms wrapping tightly around her.

"What do you think you are doing?!"

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the curve of her neck. "I know I am new at this but I can say with absolute certainty that I am not doing it wrong," he whispered against her skin.

In shock, Ino sucked in a deep breath and then yelled, "Are you crazy?" She jabbed him with her elbow and leaped up out of his hold.

"I can assure you I am quite sane. My father had me tested." Sai then tilted his head in confusion and stated, "Besides, Kohana informed me that I did it quite well."

Ino stiffened as she glared at the genin looming over her. "My cousin?"

"Yes, Kohana Yamanaka."

"You kissed my cousin, Kohana?"

"That is correct. Although technically you could say that she was the one that pressed her lips against mine; however, I did participate in it."

"You kissed my cousin, Kohana Yamanaka?!"

"Did I not just say that? I am uncertain as to what part you do not understand."

Ino struggled to breathe. "I can't believe you kissed my cousin!"

"Are you upset because you do not comprehend what I just said?"

Her mood was almost as foul as the thick air that cloaked around them. Ino stomped forward; far too angry to care that everyone else was watching them, and jabbed at him with her finger. She hissed in trembling fury, "Don't you dare patronize me, Sai Morino. I don't care who the hell you kiss, but you sure as hell can't kiss me. I find you offensive."

"Just overall offensive or could you perhaps narrow that down a little for me?" he asked with a thoughtful look.

"Oh shit," whispered Naruto. He knew he could be clueless at times, but even he knew that this was rapidly turning into a very dangerous situation. He grabbed Sasuke's arm and pulled him out of her destructive path.

With a hair-raising growl the girl abruptly leapt forward and wrapped her hand around Sai's throat. She then cocked back her fist and punched him in the face before storming away to join her team.

"You do know you could have avoided that whole scene, don't you?" commented Kakashi dryly.

"Of course I did, Sensei. Ino may be a bit high-strung at times, but there is something oddly awe-inspiring about the sight."

Naruto shook his head and sighed. "High-strung? I think terrifying would be the word I would use. One of these days she's probably going to kill you, Aho."

"Then why did you tell me to kiss her the next time she argued with me?"

"Hey, I didn't tell you to do all that!"

Kakashi gave them both an amused look and said, "Well, she may get the chance if you pass this round… they just called your name."

"Damn, I missed it…who's he fighting?"

"Your cousin."

~o~O~o~

Sai studied Shēn as he confidently swaggered into the arena. As soon as he got close, he said, "Did you know that the leading cause of males between the ages of fifteen and eighteen is suicide? I believe that is due to the fact that that is when a person discovers just how pathetic and weak he truly is. Are you feeling depressed, by any chance?"

"Shut up, moron. I'm going to beat the crap out of you and show everyone that I am the best shinobi out there and that you and your team are nothing."

"So you think that never seeing me on the field of battle again will change the fact that you are an insecure, self-centered teen who hates losing probably because it is the only thing you are good at in life?"

"Why you…"

"Face it Shēn, you have dedicated your life as a shinobi based on the false belief that you must be better than everyone else. That is not possible. There will always be someone who is better than you."

"Kiss my…"

"We are from the same village, Shēn. Your hatred is nonsensical. It is centered on Naruto just because you lost to him in a friendly spar when you were both but mere children."

"I didn't lose. He…"

"You see. You cannot even take responsibility when you lose. Wouldn't that insinuate that compared to the average shinobi you are far beyond repair considering you lack the ability to even admit your defeat?"

Shēn's face turned beet red in anger as Sai's words hit him with force.

"One should not pursue the past, for it no longer is."

"If that's not the stupidest thing I've ever heard…"

"You are going to spend a lonely life that revolves around a conviction you hate and curse. Your only friends will be through the family that is forced to tolerate you and the only way you can communicate to them is through anger. Furthermore, considering your compatibility compared to the average human, the only people you will be able to communicate with will be people like you, so you really won't even be communicating, you will just kill each other with self-esteem powered bombs."

"Shut up, Sai."

Sai continued blithely, "So on top of being self-centered, addicted to losing, irresponsible, lonely, angry, you are most likely in the midst of puberty so this will boost the chance of you remaining like this forever, and; last but not least, you would probably be hated by the world if they saw you for who you really are."

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

Zabuza cleared his throat and interrupted with a small pout, "I'm sure I don't need to remind you two that the Mizukage ruled that the matches would not be to the death. Of course," he added with distinct relish, "Accidents happen. You may begin at any time."

Sai put his hand behind his back and pulled out his tantō and then, to the surprise of Shēn, a katana. He took up an offensive stance and stated coolly, "I am Sai Morino; the lowly shinobi that will defeat you today." He began swinging one sword after the other. He spun and twirled them skillfully; too fast for someone to stop normally.

Shēn rolled backward, balanced himself and jumped back from the spinning blades of death. He turned to his opponent: frowned and moved forward, but the whistling edge of a blade made him think twice.

And then it suddenly stopped. Sai held himself in an unusual pose - the short sword was held parallel to the ground; hiding his eyes, while the long sword was facing upward. His mind filled with possible moves the genin would try to unleash, but nothing came up. Shēn raised a kunai defensively.

~o~O~o~

When the proctor at the Crucible told everyone that they would not know whom they would be fighting, Sai felt uncomfortable. He was a shinobi, and as such, it was his duty to be as mentally and physically prepared as possible. He carefully studied each and every participant. And although he acknowledged to himself that he was no Ibiki, he prepared a psychological offense for every genin he might come up against.

Shēn was no different.

With Shēn's back facing the sun, Sai waited for his moment. As soon as the sun dropped below a cloud, he reflected its light off his short blade, directly into Shēn's eyes, blinding the shinobi as his long sword struck from above.

Shēn could barely react in time as he brought the kunai up and blocked the long blade, narrowly avoiding injury. He tried to retreat, just long enough for him to regain his sight. But Sai's attacks were relentless.

The short sword easily sliced through Shēn's outstretched fingers, sending one flying. The other sword grazed his forearm, cutting through his clothes and slicing a bit of his flesh.

He hissed in pain and then leapt backwards, forcing his bloodied hands to make the signs for his next jutsu. "Fire Style: Phoenix Flower Jutsu!" Seven small burning balls of fire erupted from his mouth and flew at the shinobi with insane speed, giving Sai no option but to evade.

Back and forth, the two ninja traded blows across the arena. The fight was evenly matched but Sai could tell that Shēn was just buying time. And he quickly figured out why. Neither one of them gave an inch until Sai finally found a chance and slipped past Shēn's defense. The tip of his sword sliced through the teen's shirt, digging about an inch into his torso.

The older boy collapsed onto the small island, his face a mask of blood and dust. Gingerly, he touched the wound on his stomach and brought it up to his face. He looked at the red liquid and he clenched his fist tightly.

Sai kept his defense locked on Shēn, who made no attempt to pursue. He stood up calmly, and in a dignified manner, wiped the dust off his clothing as he watched Sai.

Sai stared back at his opponent.

Shēn stood there, still not attempting to pursue. Sai paused, taking advantage of the chance to observe his deadly enemy. Shēn stared at his hand again for another quick second. Emotion twisted his face, first anger, and then smugness. In a very condescending tone, he stated, "I'm done playing now."

"You mean because you have finished dispersing your seeds?"

"What… how did you…?"

"I have done my research. When we were back in Konoha, you informed Naruto that he was trying to steal Granny Usagi's secrets. I thought it was odd that you would desire any information from her considering the fact that she is but a civilian and so I investigated her background. As it turns out, she was one of the leading botanists of her time. She was working on a special growth formula to help eradicate famine. Her experiments were a failure; instead, the formula created a species of extremely fast growing, but rather poisonous, carnivorous plants much like what attacked my team in the swamp."

Disapproval stamped across his face, Sai continued, "You set that trap. You nearly killed Ino Yamanaka, your own teammate. Do you deny it?"

Shēn flushed and then growled out, "I wasn't trying to hurt her; she's hot. Plus, I'm not stupid. I needed her to get me into the third stage." He began weaving his hands through a series of signs.

The arena exploded with thin, weaving tendrils. They were everywhere – in the water, on the small islands, in the trees. Twisting, green vines wrapped around his legs before he had the chance to leap away. More vines reached up across his chest toward his hammering heart and embraced him. Barely able to breathe now, Sai sucked in a deep breath of air as the slimy things forcefully tried to enter the inside of his mouth.

Sai frowned in thought, his quick mind coming to a conclusion. Although he didn't want to use that jutsu, he had too. He had to use the scroll. Using an earth jutsu, he forced a column of rock to rise from the earth, snapping the tendrils off his body.

Perched on the tip, he removed the massive scroll attached to his back. With a spin, he pulled it open around him and focused his chakra. "Ninja art, super beast scroll…" The pure size and strength of the jutsu drained his chakra, dizzying him for a moment.

The sky above Shēn turned black as a horde of demonic creatures, both monstrous and miniscule, erupted from the paper. They hacked, slashed, clawed and bit at the plants. The water turned black from the massive amounts of ink from Sai's destroyed creations.

Shēn slipped a smug smile after he witnessed one of a plant's poisonous pods pierce Sai's neck. "Your mine now," he thought to himself with savage glee. All he had to do was wait it out. Once the poison moved through Sai's body, he would be completely at his mercy…which he did not intend to give.

With a frown, he saw the teen pull the pod out while fighting off another plant tentacle. He saw Sai's hand turn green and knew that he was attempting to heal himself. "It won't work, you know," he gloatingly sneered. "You need an antidote. The best you can do is slow the poison."

"I am well aware of that fact," replied Sai serenely. He pointed to something behind Shēn and added, "I won't need much more time anyway."

Shēn turned around and felt his heart sink. The thing behind him felt so unnaturally terrifying. It was a Shinigami – the god of death. While he knew it was made of ink, there was something so horrifying about it. It looked as if it was somehow alive…somehow aware… somehow sentient.

It had long, shaggy white hair, with horns on its head. Instead of the prayer beads and tantō in its mouth, it carried two scythes. Its eyes gleamed as it looked at Shēn. It smiled, hungrily, revealing a sharp row of serrated teeth. It licked it lips with its serpentine tongue as it made its way towards him.

Its scythes sung a wicked song of death as they flew out and around in graceful circles that spelled death for all that they touched. Plants shriveled and died instantly, trees caught on fire, and scorch marks decorated the stone walls of the arena. Sai's other ink creatures, caught in its attack, were destroyed in an instant. Sai felt a bit disturbed by his creation. It almost seemed too real.

Sai cocked his head and rubbed his eyes; unsure of what he was seeing. Strangely enough, the creature was no longer black and white. Its horns had turned red and its robes blue. He could feel the jutsu severing from him – growing more powerful by the second. He focused harder to control it.

I do not believe that this a good sign.

~o~O~o~

Meanwhile, Shēn was busy trying to stay alive. None of the jutsu he tried made a single scratch on the demon and there was no way he was going to get up close to it. He nimbly dodged a swipe from the thing's scythes and threw a handful of shuriken. No effect… He cast a wall of flames in front of it.

Did it just laugh?!

The Shinigami brought its hands together and spun around. A massive fireball set everything green to red in all directions.

Zabuza, who had been staying out of the fight so far, asked with hesitant uncertainty, "Uh Sai… you got this, right?" He grunted as he narrowly avoided another fireball, singing the tips of his spiky hair.

Equally nervous, Sai stammered, "Well…yes…that is, I am pretty sure…"

"Pretty sure?!" yelled Zabuza. He cursed as another fireball skipped past his head and sailed towards the screaming crowd. Rapidly making a long sequence of seals, he used a water jutsu to put out the flaming ball before it could incinerate the innocent bystanders. "What do you mean, pretty sure?!"

"Um…well…that is…" He tried to alleviate the proctor's concern, but just couldn't manage to fake something he didn't feel. Grasping at straws, he defended himself, "This jutsu is within the rules; I checked."

Zabuza's mouth dropped open in astonishment as a boulder sailed towards him. He dodged it and quickly decided he get to a safer position to oversee the match. "Where, in Kami's name did that boulder even come from?"

Sai hastily ducked behind it as it crashed into the earth.

Seconds later, a distinctly singed and panicked Shēn slammed into him as he leapt behind it to hide as well. "What the hell was that?" he demanded.

"My demon army jutsu."

The earth around them began to quake and tremble as the Shinigami moved closer. Shēn hysterically screamed, "You made it! Do something."

"What should I do?"

"Anything!"

They stared at one another wide eyed before they remembered they were supposed to be fighting.

Both boys jumped backwards and defensively brought their weapons up.

"Are you crazy?" screeched Shēn. "What the hell were you thinking making something like that?! That thing is gonna kill us both!"

Big black waves of evil energy rolled out of the Shinigami. Sai quickly looked around and brightened. It was an earth based jutsu and only earth could destroy it. He made a few hand signs. The earth around his ink demon began to tremble and then move. A giant boulder burst from the ground. The stone cracked open, forming a jagged mouth, and bit off its hand. Ink spurted everywhere and white bone bristled from the ragged stump of its wrist.

"Note to self…I probably should never use this jutsu again," thought Sai as he watched it make a soundless scream of pain. Its robes turned white, its horns back to their original black color. Ink spurted outward to form a black mist that coated both combatants in the stickiness of an almost bloody rain.

A bit unnerved, Sai quickly leapt to his feet and charged Shēn, kicking him. He then dashed behind and punched the teen from behind.

Before Shēn had a chance to react, Sai jumped into the air and performed an axe kick and then rushed behind him again and swept him off his feet, upward flip kicking the teen as he did it. He then jumped once more, this time behind Shēn, and punched him into the ground face-first. Finally, he kicked the teen in the back with his left heel as he fell to the ground.

Dizzy and unsteady, Shēn stood up and raised his fists.

Sai charged, lunging with the kunai - and the kunai made contact, slicing into the flesh at his throat.

The older boy reared back in surprise.

Good. That jerk always underestimated him.

Sai smiled in amusement. "You are defeated Shēn unless you have some other attack or jutsu of which I am unaware of."

The older boy wiped his hand across the blood dripping down his throat. He caught Sai's knife hand in his huge grip and pounded his chest with the other fist. "You're still nothing but a little weakling."

The kunai turned toward Sai, headed for his chest.

Sai concentrated, opened his fingers. The kunai clattered to the ground. Sai dropped to his knees, his weight throwing Shēn off balance. Coming up underneath his opponent, he used his shoulder to pull the boy's arm out of its socket.

Shēn roared in pain. Then he put crushing pressure on Sai's hand.

Apparently, pain made him mad.

Already weakened from the poison rushing through his blood, Sai's bones began to crack and separate. The pain was horrid; his vision began to fade. He feared he was going to pass out.

Faintly in the vast storage bank that was his memory, Sai heard his father, Ibiki, yelling at him to think - to use his head in battle. He imagined his brothers mocking him for fainting… for being weak… for being a girl.

"NO!" he yelled. Strength washed over him as he scanned the battle field around him. There was no change in his expression as he saw what he needed. He focused until he could work his other hand around and snatch the other kunai hidden up his coat sleeve. He waited less than a second before the last of his ink creatures, a tiny mouse, climbed up the leg of the other teen and bit him. He slipped the kunai between Shēn's ribs.

Shēn hung there on the blade, his eyes wide, his grip unyielding. Then, in a gush of blood, he fell.

Zabuza moved forward and looked down at the teen writhing on the ground. Seeing that he was incapacitated, he loudly announced for all to hear, "Winner…Sai Morino of Konohagakure." In a low undertone, he added, "You gotta show me how you created that demon jutsu."

Sai smiled in exultation, handed the proctor the poisoned pod he had pulled from his neck earlier and then promptly fainted.

~Kirigakure – The Omake~

Across the somber grey clouds, lightning followed a jagged course through the sky. The wind gusted, whipping the trees. Rain beat with sudden fury against the three tall windows in the hotel room, then streamed down the glass, blurring the view beyond.

Naruto sat with his back to the windows. While thunder reverberated through the low sky and seemed to hammer on the roof of the building, he read the scroll outlining the rules of the third and final stage of the chunin exams.

He glanced over at Sai, who was sitting in the chair next to him, his tension betrayed by the angular position of his lean, usually graceful body. "I don't know what you're worried about."

"But it says we cannot use summons."

"So what?"

"What if they consider my jutsu a summons?"

"For the last time Aho, your jutsu is not a summons. It's just a bunch of drawings with my chakra mixed in. Although, I still don't know why you wanted that chakra."

Sasuke jumped up in agitation and paced the room. "Kakashi has been gone for over three hours now. I'm leaving."

"What? He told us to stay in the room until he got back from his meeting."

"Three hours, Baka... Three. Damn. Hours."

"I know - I know," moaned Naruto. "You know damn well what he's like. But he said to stay here so we don't get into any trouble..."

"Tch, do you always do what your daddy tells you to?" goaded Sasuke.

"NO!"

"Well then come with me. I need to see what the competition is like; and you too Sai. We need to see their fighting style and ninjutsu."

"Well you heard the proctor…fighting in the face of the unknown and all that…"

"Actually, that is a sound plan," admitted Sai thoughtfully. "I have heard that most other countries inform the genin of whom he or she would be battling against so that said genin could prepare accordingly. We have no idea what we are going up against and staying in this room like little children will not get us any closer to gathering any useful information."

"Ah, so you think we should cheat!"

"As you yourself had stated before, a ninja never cheats."

"Okay – okay!" agreed Naruto enthusiastically. "You guys don't need to convince me to break the rules… I mean, as long as we are all in agreement, I'm in."

~o~O~o~

After two hours of wandering through the village, they still hadn't found where the other teams were training. Knowing that they would be in trouble when he got back to the inn, he figured they should at least find something to eat before returning. He unerringly led them to a ramen stand. After seating themselves, Naruto gazed up at the pregnant sky and asked, "Does it always rain here?"

"Not at all," answered Sai knowledgably. "It does rain pretty constantly in the winter, but the summer is very warm and humid."

"What about your new jutsu? Will it work in the rain?"

"I believe so. I have an ink umbrella that I have been practicing with. It does take much more chakra than normal; however, I believe I've got all the kinks worked out."

"Hmm," said Sasuke thoughtfully.

"Well, well, well, look what I found – a bunch of Konoha tree-lovers."

Naruto glanced at the Iwa genin that interrupted him. He instantly recognized him. It was the same one he had fought in the swamp. His team had been disqualified when team seven brought their prisoner, Candy out with them. He knew just how to deal with these types of guys.

"Alright," he demanded crossly, "Who invited Iwa to the party?"

"Naruto…" warned Sai in a low undertone.

"Hey, all I'm saying is that it's an awfully big coincidence that the toilets are never flushed and the dogs are always pregnant after they've been around." He shrugged his shoulders, ignored the angered growl, and then added airily, "Make of it what you will."

The girl Sasuke fought walked over to him and sneered, "You know you just got lucky. I've heard all about you Uchiha. They're nothing but a bunch of jutsu thieves. You better not try to steal any of my moves or I'll show you what the word pain really means."

Sasuke just gave her a blank stare and turned around to eat, ignoring her completely. The girl continued to jeer to no effect. Naruto could tell things were about to escalate so he said, "You know you should really watch yourself… Sasuke doesn't play well with others. Now on the other hand – me - I love to play with the handicapped."

"Tch, knock it off Baka. Were you born this annoying or is it a skill you developed just to annoy me?"

The third genin shouted, "Hey, my sister isn't stupid."

Naruto's lip twitched. He couldn't deny that he loved razzing Sasuke.

His own fault, of course.

He shouldn't be so arrogant.

To the Iwa genin he said, "Oh… well then is she possessed by a retarded ghost?" and to Sasuke, he said, "Don't flatter yourself Teme. I've always been aggravating."

"That's it! Stop ignoring us… it's payback time!" He cocked back his fist, clipping Sai with his elbow.

Naruto agilely dodged the punch. Even as his fist connected with a jaw, his foot slammed another's knee producing a loud crack. Blood was roaring in his ears. A hard fist slammed into his gut, but he didn't feel any pain. Naruto punched the first teen in the face and was on the move even before he fell heavily to the ground. The third one came at him from behind, trying to lock him in a hold, but Naruto ducked and slammed his elbow into the guy's face in an explosion of blood.

Sai cracked the girl in the gut with three quick, hard jabs. The girl groaned and collapsed to her knees. Naruto stared at him in disbelief.

"What? She had a kunai in her hand. We are shinobi, not male and female."

A very familiar voice mildly asked, "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Aw crap…" Naruto turned around and grin abashedly. "Hey, Kakashi Sensei… We were just uh, playing around… you know – uh, making friends and uh, increasing the spread of shinobi cooperation between our countries."

"Well, you're spreading something, but I don't think it has anything to do with shinobi cooperation between countries," said the jonin dryly. "You three can run along now," he said to the Iwa genin as they stood up and scowled. As soon as they were alone, he turned to them and said, "I asked you all to stay in the room."

"Well you said you would only be gone an hour."

"I ran across a poor elderly woman who needed my help."

"Hn."

"Yeah right…"

"I have my doubts as to the truthfulness of that statement."

Naruto caught the look in Kakashi's eye and the set of his jaw. He knew that look all too well. Slumping his shoulders dejectedly, he said, "Alright; out with it. You can start the lecture now."

"I was not going to lecture you," he announced, "The two of us are simply going to have a discussion."

Naruto gave him a disgruntled look, rolled his eyes and snorted, "The kind of discussion where you do all the talking and I do all the listening?" He didn't give him time to answer, but turned back to Sasuke, nodded and said loudly, "Sounds a lot like a lecture to me."

Kakashi folded his arms across his chest and stared.

Naruto smiled innocently. "Hey, I was only making an observation."

Nope, the chapter's not over yet! This next Omake was based on a suggestion from Funkyshnelpu jr. Is it a little stupid? Probably. Is it more than a little juvenile? Hell yes! lol - enjoy!

Mearī Sū – An Omake~

Sai and Sasuke stood in their room impatiently waiting. While they knew and expected their sensei to be late, they were surprised that the typically punctual Naruto wasn't there. Pacing back and forth in worry, Sai finally said, "He should have been here by now. Do you think he got lost?"

"Hn."

"Well, do you think he went to the market?"

"No, he's been banned, remember?"

"Oh right. What about the hot springs?"

"Banned."

"The temple?"

"Banned."

"The Mizukage's monument?"

"Threatened with death if he ever returns."

"The…"

"Banned."

"Are you two talking about me?" said a voice behind them followed by a yip.

Sasuke shook his head and commented, "No, however we might as well have been. You and Naruto have managed to be banned from every respectable establishment in Kirigakure."

"Hey, can we help it if no one has a sense of humor around here?"

"Yes, you can help it. Just stop being…"

"Hey, you just pointed at me."

Sasuke replied dryly, "Yes, I believe I made my point." He ignored Kiba's disgruntled look and asked, "Have you seen that idiot teammate of mine?"

"Yeah, a little while ago. He's on his way."

Sure enough, Naruto came slowly walking into the room with a girl hanging on his arm. He wore a lovesick expression on his face and for the life of him, Sasuke couldn't figure out why. She wasn't the type that usually sparked his interest. She had dirty, unkempt hair, buck teeth, crossed eyes, and was flat as a board.

"Who's that?" he asked in curiosity. "I've seen her before."

"That's Mearī Sū," breathed Kiba. "Isn't she beautiful? Naruto introduced her to me a little while ago."

Sasuke turned and gave the Inuzuka a look of surprise. Even Sai was looking at him as if he was crazy. "Um." Clearly at a loss for words, Sasuke just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

Naruto excitedly brought her near and began to introduce them. Before he could finish, they all heard a soft 'pfft' sound.

Mearī Sū giggled right before the foul stench hit Sai's nose. His scrunched his nose in distaste and was about to say something when his eyes went as wide and dreamy as Kiba and Naruto's were. Sasuke quickly activated his Sharingan before she could come closer to him. He looked at his teammates and Kiba, detecting the fluctuations of chakra in their nervous system.

"Hmm, so she uses smell to draw people into her genjutsu," he thought to himself. It suddenly occurred to him where he had seen her before – at the second stage of the chunin exams. "So that's how she put Naruto under… disgusting."

Knowing that she could possibly be his opponent in the upcoming third stage, he pretended to fall under her spell that she would not become suspicious. He wanted to see what she was after.

Repressing the urge to gag, Sasuke stoically acted as though he was unaffected by the stench of her fart and that she was the beautiful creature Naruto and Kiba claimed her to be. He would never claim it was easy.

Feigning an infatuated, though slightly strained look, (and praying with all his might that none of them would ever remember this moment), he said, "You are… the girl of… my dreams…"

"Yes, I know. You are Sasuke from the Uchiha clan in Konohagakure right? I've heard that you are the elite of the shinobi clans."

"Yes."

"Are you really good? Do you have that dojutsu thingie I've heard about?"

"Thingie?!" thought Sasuke in outrage. Obviously she had never seen one before because he had it activated. How she could miss his red eyes he would never know, but he was pleased with her incompetence. He lowered his eyes, as though shy, and hoping the others wouldn't overhear, whispered, "Not yet."

"Oh, well that's good I guess. You know, you're very cute. I think I might make you my love slave. How would you like that, hmm?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth and was about to say something he knew he would regret forever when he was suddenly saved by Naruto.

"Hey, you said I would get to be your love slave! You don't want him; he's nothing but a big Teme with illusions of grandeur."

"She can't make you her love slave…that's going to be my job!"

"What about Chūjitsuna?"

"Who?"

"Uh hello… the girl you're supposed to marry."

"I'm the Inuzuka clan heir. I can have two wives if I want."

"Boys, settle down," she said nervously when they began to heatedly shout and shove each other. "I should probably be going now."

"I'll walk you," growled Kiba. He flashed his fangs at Naruto and grabbed her arm.

As soon as Mearī Sū walked out of the door, Sasuke heaved a disappointed sigh and disrupted Sai and Naruto's chakra to dispel the genjutsu.

"What's going on?" yelled Naruto, "Why are you ..." then it hit him. Sasuke could see it in his eyes. Was it surprise? Horror? Water started to accumulate at the base of his eyelids. "You farted!" He grabbed his throat and shrieked "I need air! Oh my God, I CAN TASTE IT!"

"Tch, stop being so melodramatic."

Naruto raced to the other side of the room and began to scratch and claw at the window as if he were being kidnapped. "Oh Kami, what did you eat?" he screamed shrilly.

"I did not pass gas." Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose, calmly opened the window, and then hastily stepped back as the blonde nearly bowled him over in his mad dash for fresh air.

Gasping and gagging, Naruto quipped sarcastically, "Yeah right… and a fart is actually just a wish your butt makes. Just admit the truth – you're prairie dogging a deuce."

"I have a question," said Sai in confusion. "What happened to that pretty girl that was here a minute ago?"

"Damn," thought Sasuke, "That genjutsu of hers is more powerful then I thought if he still thinks she was pretty."

"She had to leave."

"But I was going to offer to marry her," whined Naruto from the window.

"Tch, I'm leaving."

"Yeah, after you bomb out the room. Thanks a lot Teme."

"Hn."

(translation)

"I'm going to kill him."

AN:

Yes, I swear it's the end of the chapter this time! To those of you that didn't care for the fight - so sorry. I've said time and time again that action is not my forte! I wasn't completely happy with it, but I just couldn't write what I envisioned. This was the best I could do.

For my non-english speakers: prairie dogging a deuce means when you have to poo so bad, the head of the turd keeps poking out of your butt then slipping back in. Similar to how a prairie dog pops up and down in their hole, appearing and disappearing. Gross yes, but so funny!

Thanks to everyone that followed/favorited/commented on the last chapter!

Ja Ne,

AZFAERYDUST