The Fallout of War
Chapter 12, The Road To Malden
My eyes fluttered open and slowly came into focus. I stared at my fingers splayed across Merc's chest. I realized my leg was draped over one of his and my head was nestled upon his shoulder. Merc's one arm hugged me firmly against him.
I slowly lifted my eyes upwards to see Merc wide awake and staring at me, his light brown eyes crinkled in a smile. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?" He said ever so softly. My heart jumped in my chest. What did I say? "You can talk to me like that anytime." his voice had turned rich, smooth and soft. So similar to Danse's low and thick tender voice.
I inhaled a quick breath and felt my cheeks grow pink and my thoughts went in an entirely different direction this time. What did I say! Quickly withdrawing my leg and hand from him, I started to rise, but his arm held me firmly. I looked up to see his eyes gleaming with laughter, the corners of his mouth turned up. "Just kidding. A little payback." "You asshole!" I thumped his chest, but grinned up at him.
His arm eased it's firm hold on me and I started to rise again when we both jumped as loud banging began on the bunker's steel door. Bang. Bang. Bang. His arm instantly tightened and I was smashed against him. I saw his eyes glance at his rifle leaning up at the head of the bed.
"General! General! Are you in there?" Bang. Bang. Bang. "General!" Minutemen! Preston got my message. Was Deacon out there with them? He can help Danse!
Merc must have seen something in my face or eyes, his hand was covering my mouth before I could even part my lips. My hands were trapped under me and I tried to push up, but Merc just squeezed tighter. Shit! The banging had stopped and the muffled voices at the door slowly faded and still Merc held me secure. With each minute that passed, I saw my chance slipping away.
I was subjected to Merc's scrutiny as we waited till he felt it was safe. And an interrogation will be next on the list. Finally his hand slid away and he was rising quickly bringing me up with him and I knew it cost him from his grunts of pain and wincing. He had a tight grip on my shoulders and gave me a hard stare.
"Who did you tell we were here?" He demanded angrily. "I told no one we were here." I said heatedly and my eyes flashed daring him to call me a liar. "Then who were they?" "They were Minutemen. They were obviously looking for their General." That was true, just minus one small detail.
"You were going to answer them!" He accused hotly. "Yes! What if someone needed help or was hurt? I'm not in the habit of ignoring people of the Commonwealth like you!" I spat. Both our voices had raised several octaves and we stood staring each other down.
Merc's eyes were squinting at me suspiciously and finally his hands dropped from my shoulders. "Fine!" he said brusquely grabbing his duffel bag and yanking out clothes. "Fine!" I responded and plopping down on the bed grabbed up my boots and shoved my feet into them. I snatched my sack and the knife from the small table and pulled the melon out I'd gotten at Zimonja.
Glancing over I saw he'd dressed like a typical drifter, pulling on a shirt, a knee length sleeveless leather jacket and leather gloves with two thick leather belts and it reminded me of Danse. "Danse has an outfit almost just like that." "Do you always have to bring him up?" I didn't answer, I just started slicing up the melon and noticed he had started gathering his things and shoving them into his duffel. Why was he packing up? "What are you doing?" "I'm getting out of here." was his curt answer. My hand paused in cutting wedges. He said "I", not "we".
When I'd finished with the melon, hesitantly I stepped toward him and held out his share of the wedges. He sighed and sat down his duffel, taking the wedges. "Thank you." came out like, I'm sorry. My..."Your welcome." meant, me too.
I sat on the edge of the bed to nibble my melon and he leaned against the wall to eat near the foot of the bed. It was an uncomfortable silence. Gathering my courage I finally asked, "You said, your leaving, not we?" He adopted a light tone, almost teasing, "That's right. You didn't amputate my leg, got me drunk, fed me and I figure I owe you. You're free to go." I glanced up at him putting on a smile, "That's great. Guess I should pack too, oh wait, nothing to pack."
Rising, I moved to the table and with a little water and a rag, cleaned off his knife as I asked casually, "So where you heading?" I could feel his shrug behind me, "East, south, maybe back north to the Capitol Wasteland, but first I've got to find some stempaks and fix this damn chest." If he goes north, I might never find him. Danse would be gone forever. This is panic time. "You're chest isn't really healed enough for much traveling." If he knew I had two stempaks hidden, he'd throttle me. "Exactly why I'm going to hunt some down." he said. I turned and handed him his knife and his eyes met mine. "Thank you." sounded like, good bye. "Your welcome." meant, take care.
More wincing and grunts got him in his power armor with his duffel and rifle then he was out the door. Shit! Shit! Do something! I snatched my sack and ran to the shelf where the stempaks were hidden. Reaching behind the boxes I grabbed them and stuffed them in the sack. I counted to ten and went out the door. I stood there a minute considering my choices, head for Zimonja and possibly loose him or go after him. I went to the top of the path leading back to Zimonja and he was no where below. Heading east I peeked around the boulders where the path turned south. I could see him up ahead moving at a steady pace.
I managed to keep him in sight and followed him all the way to the General Atomics Galleria. He had stopped twice to rest a couple moments on the way and I could tell his chest wounds and ribs were giving his difficulties. The Galleria was a pre-war robotic run shopping mall still maintained by it's robot employees, but was seldom visited except for the rare scavenger or caravan. Most folks distrusted the robotic nature of the place and it's out of the way location.
Merc's pace had begun to slow the last 20 min of his trek and it seemed he practically dragged himself through a couple shops scavenging items before he entered the building Back Alley Bowling. I stood at the corner of a building in the hot sun waiting for him to come out and waited and waited. Where is he? What if he didn't find any stempaks and he's hurting, or he surprised some scavenger or... Oh this is ridiculous. I headed for the bowling alley doors.
I slipped in quietly as possible and the door squeaked open and clicked as it closed making me cringe. I started forward and the Mr. Handy robot behind a counter welcomed me loudly to Back Alley. I groaned and gave up any pretense of subterfuge. Walking beyond the entrance area I paused to listen for the sound of his power armor thudding or someone rummaging about. It was dead quiet except for the soft flowing music from a juke box on the above balcony. I took the balcony stairs and halfway up spied the top of his power armor empty against the back wall. When I hit the landing I spotted him on the floor still as stone. He was minus his leather jacket and his shirt was laying open where I could see his chest bandages soaked in blood. "Merc! Merc!" I ran forward dropping down to the floor beside him. "Merc! Can you hear me?"
Suddenly his eyes opened and his hands grabbed me. I was pulled down and he rolled over on top of me, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "Took you long enough." I know my face expressed shock and surprise, "Your, your chest!" "Already took a couple stempaks." He said smugly proud of himself for tricking me so easily. Relief that he was okay, I smiled, but had to save face. "You ass." And I stuck my tongue out at him. His eyes were instantly drawn to my mouth and I watched them darken. "Okay, you can let me up now Merc."
He shook his head no and leaned down close to my ear turning his voice soft, rich and smooth.
"Not till you tell me." "Tell you what? I asked quietly as I exhaled. "That you care." his lips said against the side of my throat and a shiver ran through me.
"I... I don't understand?" His lips pressed against my neck. "You followed me here..." He gently kissed the partially healed K on the side of my throat and my heart beat doubled, "and when you saw me on the floor.." he kissed the pulse in my throat, "you got scared..." His mouth kissed a trail up to my jaw, my body was tingling, "cause you... care." his lips slid along my jaw line, "I remind you of your man..." his lips teased the corner of my mouth and I felt breathless. "but he left you... what if he's never coming back..." his lips tugged at mine. "I'm here Tanna... I'm here now." and his mouth took mine, I couldn't think straight.
Danse is Merc, Merc is Danse. They are both here with me now.
My arms slid up around his neck and I kissed him back. He pressed down upon me closer and his kiss grew harder, passionate. I could feel the fire burning in him as my own flamed to life. A hand slid under my shirt and up, I moaned at his firm rough touch to my flesh. My mind was spinning, but some where in it's recesses I thought of Danse's touch, Like he was always afraid he'd hurt me if he lost control.
It was like I had taken a hit of Jet. The world slowed except for a truth I suddenly realized.
I'm comparing; it's all I've done since I first saw Merc. How he talks, walks, what he does. Even if Danse is gone and I only had Merc, for the rest of my life I would be comparing, searching for the Danse in him. I've been a fool!
Time returned to normal, but the fires in me had died. I broke away from his kiss and his lips slid down to my throat, "Merc." I whispered. "Tanna." He whispered back. "Merc, stop." I said more strongly. He kept on. I grasped his arm trying to pull his hand from under my shirt. "Merc, stop!" His mouth tried to retake mine. "You'll get a knee to the groin if you don't stop!" Merc froze. He lifted his head, saw my eyes and groaned. "Son of a Bitch Tanna." I reached up and gently cupped his face with my hands, "Merc, I do care about you very much... but I don't love you. I love my Danse. I'm sorry."
He rolled off of me and sat up, rubbing his face with his hands. "Okay, I get it." He exhaled deeply and looked over at me. I sat up slowly. "I swear though, I am never taking another assignment involving a woman. I don't think I'd survive another three days like..." We heard the squeak of the door being opened below and went still.
Merc looked at me, I could tell he was checking to see what I was gonna do. I made the motion my lips were sealed and he seemed relieved and trusting. We heard footsteps walking below headed for the staircase and Merc glanced to his rifle that sat several feet away by his power armor.
"See Jack, I told ye there was some here." I heard the cola machine being opened and bottles rattling, caps popped. There was silence for a moment. "So you signed up with Lucas Miller I see." "Yeah. He pays better than Doc Weathers." the other man replied. "So hey, you guys run into those Minutemen yet?" "No. Why?" "Apparently, they're out looking for their General." Jack laughed, "They lost their General?" "Hell, if I had a General that looked like that Tanna Steel, I'd be out looking too."
I cringed and looked over at Merc. His head slowly turned toward me and I could see the embers of anger in his eyes.
"They think she's with that Red Demon guy. Gossip at the last settlement we hit was he got hit in the head, forgot who he was." "We'd better get back outside, Miller will be wanting to leave. That would be to bad about that Red Demon. I hear he's an ass kicker." "You know Tom, right? He was telling me how he saw him fighting like ten Synths and..." the doors below squeaked open and clicked shut. The building was silent except for the soft juke box music that sounded like a dirge to me at that moment.
Merc's glare had gone from burning embers to a smoking volcano and I knew I was in trouble. I leaped to my feet and put a pool table between us. He was on his feet spitting mad. "You liar! You little conniving..." "Merc, I can explain!" "I don't want to hear it. Every word out of your mouth..." He was sputtering he was so mad. "You think I'm your Danse! After the deathclaw, you didn't come back to help me, you came back to help your Danse!" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'd have gone for help. I wouldn't have left you to die!" His rage grew. "You didn't pull that stake out of my leg, it was your sweet heart's leg, right Tanna? Or should I call you General Steel of the Minutemen who never told anyone about us or where we were!" "If you just let me explain!" I pleaded.
I started to edge down the pool table and he followed on his side. "You didn't even follow me here, you followed your Danse!" I darted toward the other end of the pool table and he darted on his side. He also kicked my sack that was still lying on the floor spilling it's contents out. Shit! There were the two stempaks on the floor with its other contents. The volcano in his eyes erupted! "You Bitch! You had those and left me in pain for two days!" It was just one big growl when he spoke.
I grabbed a pool ball off the table and threw it. When he ducked I ran for the stairs. He had me in three strides. I was picked up roughly and thrown over his shoulder. He dropped me on my ass by his duffel and held onto to my wrist so tight I could feel the bruises forming. "Merc, your hurting me." "You're damn lucky if that's all I do cause right now I feel like wrapping my hands around your throat. "Merc, it wasn't a lie when I said I care for you." "Mm hm" There it was, he just shut me out.
He pulled the cuffs out of his duffel and my eyes went wide. "You're not serious?" He slapped them on my wrists. "What are you gonna do Merc?" "I'm gonna complete my assignment." He snapped.
"Merc, You can't." He turned and stared at me his eyes cold as the steel armor on his power suit. "Not another word." I fell silent as he made short work of putting a new leash on me and I was once more following the thudding tread of his power armor. His helmet was latched to his suit so before exiting the building I could see his glare clearly when he showed me the butt of his rifle and knew he hoped I'd give him reason to use it.
He took the road toward Malden and after a while his pace slowed and his stomping eased. Maybe his anger has abated now. I have to get through to him. "Merc?" No answer. "Merc. I'm sorry." "Mm hm" Shit. We're back at square one. Hell if I'm gonna let this go on.
I gathered my courage and ran in front of him and stopped forcing him to stop. "Merc, you're going to listen to me a minute." He started to go around me ignoring me. "Danse, my Danse is a Synth." He stopped dead. His armor clunked as he turned to face me. "Let me get this straight; You're in love with a Synth?" he scoffed. I lifted my head high, "Yes." He stood there in thought a moment. "Not my problem."
He started to walk again and I jumped in front of him once more. "And Kellogg told me a recall code was used on him." He stopped, his brows dropping in a frown looking down at me. "I'm guessing that was back at the vault where we met?" I nodded. "That's when I had to pull Kellogg off you?" I nodded again. "And you believed Kellogg of all people?" I blinked up at him. "Well, yes, yes I did." "For the love of bullets!" he swore, but his rigid stance had relaxed and he sighed.
"Listen Tanna. I am not Danse. I mean I am Danse, just not your Danse, never was and never will be. I'm a mercenary out of the Capitol Wasteland and I've only been in the Commonwealth a week or two. I like who I am and plan on staying who I am." "But, what if you're wrong and Kellogg was right?" "Damn it! You are the most stubborn, bull headed, contrary, confounding, disconcerting, frustrating..."
Cough. Cough.
We both jumped and turned to see a man lazily leaning against a rusted out car on the side of the road. "Sorry to interrupt, but you all are disturbing my break time over here." He was dressed in road leathers with an old minuteman hat pulled down low on his forehead. His eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses as he casually took a drag off his cigarette.
Merc instantly shoved me behind him, putting himself between me and the stranger and swung his rifle down. I peeked out from behind Merc for a closer look. Deacon!... I think. "Where did you come from?" Merc demanded. "I'm just passing through pal." Deacon answered in a nonchalant tone. "You weren't there a minute ago!" Merc stated flatly. "A minute ago you were deep in conversation friend." "I'm not your friend and you need to just mind your own business." Merc ordered.
Oh Bless you Deacon! Help has arrived! From behind Merc I started pointing at Merc for Deacon's benefit, trying to silently mouth Danse." Merc must have sensed something and jerked me forward to his side where his peripheral vision could keep watch on me.
"No problem." Deacon answered as he tossed his cigarette down crushing it out with his boot. "It's none of my business that your traipsing across the countryside with a pretty little lady in tow, but I am looking for work if you need any help with that." Deacon nodded toward me. Merc pushed me back behind him again protectively. "I think it's time you moved on Mister. Now!" Merc took a firmer grip on his rifle. Click. Safety off.
Deacon raised both his hands in the air indicating he meant no harm. "Alright. Not looking for trouble. You all enjoy your stroll." Deacon turned his back and headed down the road with Merc staring after him. When Deacon had gone a few yards, I watched Merc raise his rifle and take aim. "No! Deacon run!" I leaped up grabbing the rifle barrel, pulling it down. "Son of a bitch!" Merc yanked the barrel from my hands and lifted the rifle again, but Deacon was no where to be seen.
Merc turned on me, his face furious, "You knew him!" "You were gonna shoot him!" I accused. "Yeah! I thought he was some Mercenary who could double back and shoot me first!" "Well he wasn't!" "Damn it! Is there anyone else gonna come looking for you? Should I expect all of Diamond City to show up next?"
The look on his face was so flustered and flabbergasted I couldn't help myself, I giggled. He eyes went wide as he looked down at me, "Are you giggling?" I burst out laughing. A growl escaped him as he turned and headed into Malden, tugging me behind. "Thank the stars we're almost there. I'm done with this insanity." Almost there? That sobered me. "Almost where?" He didn't answer, but swerved off the street moving behind some ruined houses that over looked the Malden sink hole.
Pulling out a grenade I watched him toss it down into the bottom of the sink hole. Following it's explosion, a loud roar rose up from its depths. A deathclaw! I gave Merc a confused and slightly fearful look remembering our last encounter with a deathclaw. "That's to keep your friend off our tail."
He took off at a run circumventing the rim of the hole. I could see the beast curling its way up a path from below. He cut in between a couple houses and crossed the street on the other side ducking inside a ruined building and stopped. We just stood there a couple minutes till gunfire broke out back the way we had come. Deacon! "Merc, we have to go back!" "Not a chance in hell."
He dragged me out of the building and turned down another road. I could still here the gunfire in the distance as we climbed up into the ruins of the Malden Middle School. The vault. We're headed for Vault 75. I know this place. MacCready and I had cleansed it of raiders long ago. "Merc, don't do this." He pushed through the basement doors. I kept pulling back and he kept dragging me forward toward that elevator. "You don't understand what you're doing Merc!" He shoved me inside the elevator as the doors opened and as if sealing my doom they whooshed shut.
We rode down in silence and I just stared up at him. Finally he glanced over having felt my steady gaze. "What?" He said perturbed. "I was just trying to find Merc; the Merc who cleaned my face of blood, the one who bravely fought a deathclaw, who drank whiskey and talked half the night with me, who teased me and well, was my friend, but I can't find him now." The elevator doors opened and before he could answer I lifted my head up high and proceeded him out. "Let's do this."
I walked boldly down the long hall ahead of him trying to steal myself for what was coming. We neared a side corridor and I saw Dr Li standing there talking with another person in a lab coat. "Evening Dr. Li." I said as I passed as if it was an every day occurrence. She looked up. "Miss Steel, Let us hope this visit doesn't end like your last one." I strode on past.
Merc tugged on my leash pulling me to a stop and stepped in front of me. "You know these people? What did she mean by your last visit?" I looked up at him. Danse, Merc, it didn't matter, all I could feel was betrayed some how and alone. I'm in another vault and rememebering, frozen 200 years, Nate murdered, Shawn stolen and raised to be a monster, Kellogg's capture, the last three days, everything felt like it was rushing in on me. I blinked back tears. No. I will not cry! I was a General, a Paladin of the Brotherhood and where ever Danse was, I would make him proud, I would make myself proud. I walked around Merc. "Shut up Merc."
I paused as we entered the Atrium area. Merc passed me and stepped up to a power armor station located near what was the reactor area if I remembered correctly. A voice called from above once he'd exited the suit and we walked back under the Overseer's balcony. "Mission complete Dr. Zimmer." Dr. Zimmer, where did I know that name from. I did not recognize this thin drawn looking man above. Then it hit me.
"Good job Merc. I was concerned some what. You were expected back..." I interrupted, "So, its the long lost Dr. Zimmer, Director of the Synth Retention Bureau, SRB." His bespectacled eyes turned to study me, "Indeed I am and I have looked forward to meeting Shawn's mother. Miss Steel I can presume." I felt Merc's gaze boring into the side of my face with questions.
"Merc please remove those cuffs immediately. Miss Steel is a guest." Zimmer graciously announced. "Um... I don't think you want to do that Dr. Zimmer." Merc informed him. "Nonsense. Please remove them." "I really don't advise..." "Merc. Remove them at once." "Yes Sir."
He stepped in front of me and removed the key from his pocket. His eyes looked into mine warning me to behave. He held my stare as the cuffs dropped away, watching my face a moment. Finally he looked down to place the cuffs in his pocket and I lit out like a charging Yao Guai for the elevator, back the way we had come.
Merc threw his hands into the air. "Here we go again!" Dr. Zimmer sputtered. "Well, um, go get her. The elevator will have Coursers on it. She can't escape." Merc jogged off down another corridor leading from the Atrium.
I had reached the side corridor where I spoke to Dr. Li earlier. Crap! Two Coursers blocked the hall toward the elevator ahead. I darted down the side corridor thinking if I can at least reach the stairs to the Overseers office, maybe I can throttle him before anyone catches up.
Merc stepped out dead in front of me and I ran right into his arms. I groaned up at him, "Damn it Merc." "I swear you have radstag in your blood Tanna." I sighed. "Do you have to?" "Yep. Come on tough girl, lets go." Resigned, I lifted my arms so he could grab my waist and he hoisted me up over his shoulder once more.
Merc slid me off his shoulder before Dr. Zimmer and two coursers stepped up nudging Merc out of the way to grab an arm each. "Miss Steel, I was trying to be cordial. I had expected a little cooperation from you." Dr. Zimmer chastised. "Go to hell Zimmer and you won't get anything from me." he snorted and nodded to my guards. "Take her to security."
As they started to pull me away, I held back a second and looked over at Merc. I will truly miss him. "Good bye Merc." Then they led me away.