Chapter Three: What Happens On The Boat…
"You guys are AWFUL! You are such a lazy bunch!" Dr. Hook screamed at the people on the pirate ship.
"W-what did we do? We ordered the prescription meds for you!" Dr. Hook's partner, Smee, exclaimed in shock and surprise.
"Yes, you did and that was very nice of you. But you didn't name the freaking HORSE!" Dr. Hook screamed back, gesturing towards the lonely brown horse that was sleeping on the deck.
"Hey, Hook! I'm here!" Renera called out, waving at the pirate-turned-doctor. Dr Hook looked over and gasped when he saw the young alien girl.
"Renera! Thank God you're okay! I saw what happened to Groove 75. Are you all right? Did the Velvet Man hurt you?" he asked.
"When did you see my planet? Weren't you at work?" Renera replied and the former pirate shook his head.
"I have the day off today. Pan's filling my spot for today," Dr. Hook said. All of a sudden, a girl appeared from behind him. She had curly brown pigtails and she was wearing a tight-fitting outfit. She wore a brown bodice, puffy white sleeves, and a dark-umber skirt. She even wore a pair of brown-leather boots to go with her outfit.
"Hook, your helm's sticking and I can't find the can of grease," she drawled to him. I can't tell if she's supposed to be a pirate or not, Renera thought to herself.
"Hey, she looks pretty. Who's your friend?" the girl asked, nodding at the spaced-out Renera.
"Oh, I never mentioned her to you. Renera, this is Wendy Darling. Wendy, this is Queen Renera Zoidella of planet Groove 75," Dr. Hook cordially told her.
"Charmed," Wendy simply said, holding out her hand for a shake. Renera held out her own hand, but as soon as she did, Wendy ripped off her lavender glove.
"What the…give that back!" Renera exclaimed, reaching out to grab it from her. Damn it! So she IS a pirate! Renera angrily mused.
"Too bad, Queenie! Your fault for wearing rich-people gloves!" Wendy taunted, waving the glove in front of her.
"Darling, give that back to her. It's not yours and it never will be," Dr. Hook calmly told her.
"But I took it from her, so that makes it mine now!" Wendy retorted, pivoting on her heel. But before she could move any further, Renera had her by the bodice laces.
"That glove is of little value, Wendy. I bought it at a generic brand store back on Groove 75. It's not an expensive glove," she told her.
"Then why do you want it back so badly? Nobody wants an invaluable glove," Wendy pointed out.
"Because it belongs to Renera and you stole it from her," Dr. Hook jumped in. He snatched the glove from her and placed it onto Renera's empty palm. After putting it back on, Renera glared at the curly-haired pirate girl. Well, there's one girl that I can't trust, she thought to herself.
"I'll be in the ship. Don't wait up," Wendy said and disappeared into the depths of the large pirate ship.
"Oh, so I renamed the ship in honor of my medical dedication. Check it out; it's called 'The Medicine Show' now," Dr. Hook explained, pointing at the side of the ship.
"What's up with her? I thought she was a moral and upstanding girl," Renera said, gesturing towards Wendy. Dr. Hook sighed at the question and turned to walk up the steps to the ship.
"I think it'd be better if we talked on the ship. We've got to save your planet," he told her. Nodding in agreement, Renera turned to follow him up.
…
"So tell me, Doctor. What happened to Wendy?" Renera questioned once they got into the ship's cabin below deck. Bender was driving the ship, so they had time to converse a little bit about the new pirate girl.
"Well…it's complicated. Her life decision came from a bad breakup with Pan. They started dating when he decided to mature a little bit. But then he started to control her and the way she acted. He felt that she wasn't being respectful and wanted her to be the perfect girlfriend. In other words, he wanted a Stepford wife," Dr. Hook explained. He poured some tea into a little porcelain cup and handed it to her. Renera mouthed a thank-you and gracefully accepted the steaming-hot cup.
"So what happened next?" she asked, swallowing down the fruit-flavored tea. Dr. Hook put down his floral teapot and sat back in his chipping rocker chair.
"One day, I saw Wendy with Pan. It was a slow day and I was bored, so I decided to just pick a fight with them. Well, I put my hand on my hip and Wendy thought that I was reaching for my sword. So what did she do? She did what any sensible person would do. She pulled out her own sword on me," he told her.
"Oh, and Pan didn't like that, huh?" Renera asked, putting two and two together. Dr. Hook nodded and folded his hands in his lap.
"He yelled at her for 'treating me with disrespect'. Said that she shouldn't have pulled her sword out on me. You know what he did next? He slapped her. Right across the face with the back of his hand!" he exclaimed, pretending to backhand the air in front of him.
"What happened after that? What made her turn to the life of a pirate girl?" Renera questioned, putting down her empty teacup.
"She was angry with the way that her life turned out. She didn't want to wait on a man all the time. Wendy remembered Pan's crooked moral code and wanted to go against it. When she turned nineteen, she returned to Neverland and found me at Skull Rock. (I was bumming out there after realizing that I had reached a dead end in life). Anyway, Wendy told me that she wanted to become a pirate and that she wanted to learn from the best. I said yes to her and I brought her onto the ship. But on her twentieth birthday, I found my old medical degree from Columbia University. I realized that maybe I was meant to be a doctor after all. When the birthday celebration was over, I told Wendy that I was going to become a doctor. She was upset and didn't handle the change very well. She did not want to go back to being moral, so she decided to stick to her new lifestyle. She now spends half of her years with an all-girl pirate group," Dr. Hook explained.
"Half? Why only half if she wants to be a full-time pirate?" Renera asked, curiosity getting the best of her.
"I can't depend on my crew to help me out with shipments. They can't multitask and they can't take care of our pet horse. I mean, they haven't even named it yet! So I had Wendy divide her time between lives. She captains an all-girl pirate group from January to June and then she works as my medical assistant from July to December. She's a very flexible girl," Dr. Hook said.
"Yo, Doctor Man! The pirate girl is torturing your crewmates! Do something about it!" Bender shouted from above deck.
"Again?" Dr. Hook grumbled, getting up from his comfortable rocker chair. Renera got up as well and followed him out, taking great care to not fall off of the deck ladder.
…
"It is not that hard! All you have to do is walk the freaking plank!" Wendy's voice screamed from somewhere on the ship. Renera hopped out and saw the slender girl standing behind Smee. The poor man was standing at the very edge of the plank, his body shaking in fear.
"Wendy, please! What did I do to make you mad?!" he exclaimed, looking down at the water.
"You neglected to sort out the prescription meds! Besides that, you also forgot to name the freaking horse! I was counting on you to do all of those things for me! But did you do them successfully? NO!" Wendy shrieked, pushing him with the edge of a gigantic mallet.
"That's enough, Wendy. Move aside and let him off the plank," Dr. Hook said, taking a gentle step forward.
"Fine. I'll let him off," Wendy replied and walked up to Smee. Before anyone could react, she shoved him off of the ship's wooden plank.
"NO!" Dr. Hook screamed and ran towards the side of the ship. He looked over and saw that Smee was struggling to stay above the water. Without thinking, Renera grabbed one of the anchors and flung it over the ship.
"Smee, grab on!" she shouted and Smee hurriedly swam towards the dropped anchor.
"You…HOW DARE YOU?!" Wendy screeched and grabbed Renera by her dark-purple hair. Renera wriggled free and immediately punched her directly in the face. Wendy screamed in pain and went running to Dr. Hook. Renera turned back and saw that Smee had made it back safely.
"Are you okay?" she asked and he nodded while wringing out his shirt. Renera then brought him over to Dr. Hook, who was extremely concerned about him.
"Don't worry, Doc. I'm okay. At least I'm alive, right?" Smee questioned and Dr. Hook nodded in agreement.
"Yes, I'm glad that you are safe and sound. I wasn't sure what to do; I didn't think to use the anchor," Dr. Hook told him. Smee nodded understandingly and cast a glance in Renera's direction.
"Thank you for saving me, miss…?" he said, trailing off at the end of his stammering sentence.
"Queen Renera Zoidella at your service," Renera replied, doing a very small curtsy for him.
"Wha…she punches me in the face and she has the nerve to call herself a queen? Queens don't punch innocent girls in the face like that!" Wendy screamed, still holding onto her face.
"You grabbed her by the hair, Darling. You call that innocent?" Dr. Hook asked, folding his arms over his chest.
"She totally deserved it. She interrupted my moment of justice!" Wendy exclaimed, stamping her foot like a little child.
"Seriously, Wendy? You just tried to kill Smee," a bulky-looking man butted in. Before he could react, Wendy had him by the shirtfront.
"Did you just talk back to the second-in-command? Do you really want to die today?" she sneered, glaring at him.
"Okay, that's enough, Darling. You're obviously not ready to work for me as a medical assistant. You're a psychopath and I can't have you on my ship," Dr. Hook told her.
"Fine! Be that way! I don't need you or your stupid medical crew. I only befriended you because I thought you were a respectable pirate captain. But now that you're not, I don't want anything to do with you!" Wendy retorted and immediately snatched up a nearby brown pouch. She then opened it up and sprinkled some gold fairy dust all over her body and hair.
"Where are you going to go, Darling? There's no island in sight!" Dr. Hook exclaimed, gesturing towards the vast water expanse.
"I'm going to Planet Rock Vegas. Then I'm going to find Chip Rockefeller and I'm going to rob him of his money!" Wendy shouted and immediately flew away into the light blue sky.
"Who the hell is Chip Rockefeller?" Bender asked and Renera sighed. She had history with Chip and it didn't give her any happy memories.
"He's this money-grubbing man who likes to marry into money. Chip pursued me for an entire year just so he could get into my castle," she explained.
"Sheesh, that's terrible. I mean, I'm all for the money, but I don't believe in that crap," Bender replied.
"Thanks for having my back, man. Now let's go get the hell out of Dodge," Renera said and motioned for Bender to continue steering.