Chapter 9

"To Fight Back Or Not To"

A/N: A warning to my lovely readers: this chapter contains a lot of violence and RAPE. If you are uncomfortable with that please just skip this part and you can always message me if you want.

"The most intimate feeling people can share is neither love nor hate, but pain."

–Tess Gerritsen

Alex left the office furious and went straight to a phone. She dialed a number and waited…

"Piper I told you not to call me anymore, I need some time," Larry said in the phone after he heard he was getting a call from federal prison.

"It's not Piper, it's Alex. I need your help," she told him. Calling her girlfriend's ex-boyfriend was really a desperate measure. She had a plan, and hopefully Larry would care enough to help her.

"Alex I don't want to talk to you either and I definitely don't want to help you."

"If you still just even care a slightest bit about Piper, please hear me out. Please." Alex begged him. Alex wasn't the kind of person who begged, especially to a man but she was about to do anything to get Piper back and safe.

"I'm listening," Larry said.

"Okay, look there have been a problem and Piper got sent to a medium security prison and was added four years to her sentence."

"A problem? What kind of fucking thing she got into again?" Larry asked angrily.

"It complicated, a crazy woman attacked her and Piper accidently killed her," Alex explained briefly.

"Of course she did." Larry laughed sarcastically and repeated, "Of course she did!"

"Listen…" Alex started calmly.

"No YOU listen to me. Fuck you. Fuck her. I don't care what shit you got yourself into just stay away from me. I can't help you." Larry said and hung up.

"Fuck!" Alex cursed and shoved the handset back on the rack. She had to think of something else. She had never felt so powerless in her life and she hated that. It made her so angry. Piper would not see it that way anymore, but Alex knew it was all her fault. All Piper had been through was her fault. Sometimes she thought Piper would be better off without her. Right now she wanted to die. The pain of being powerless and not enough was too much to bear.

Feeling completely useless, Alex decided to get rid of her dark thoughts by occupying herself with work, hoping that Mr. Caputo, the warden and the executive would do something. She walked downstairs to the laundry room. As she got down she noticed the lights were off, which was odd because they were always on, but that meant she would be alone and that made her happy.

Abruptly, the second both her feet touched the ground, forceful hands grabbed her wrist on each side and tugged her body forward until she tripped and hit the floor. Her glasses fell off and ricocheted across the room in front of her. It was dark and without her glasses she couldn't see anything, but she didn't need her sight to know who her aggressors were; Pennsatucky's friends. How had they got out of the SHU from previously trying to kill her, Alex didn't know and frankly she didn't care much about that right now. She didn't even try to stand up and fight back. What's the point of getting back up when you are just going to end up being thrown down again and make the pain last longer?

One of the women had her knees on her back to hold her against the floor. Alex was forced to stay like this a moment and she heard the other woman clattered something across the room. When the noise stopped, Alex knew her life was going to end soon.

The woman walked toward her and Alex assumed by how close she heard her speak that she had leaned down on her knee too next to her body. "The lord said to punish the sinners and make justice," one of the women spoke first.

"Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe," the second quoted. Alex recognized her voice and realized it was Leann.

"Exodus 21:24 -25," the first one preached proudly and laughed. "You will suffer like you and your girlfriend made Tiffany suffer, and you will die cruelly like she died without mercy. The only difference is that you'll continue to suffer in hell while she'll continue to protect and cherish the good ones from up there."

Alex closed her eyes tight and whispered almost inaudibly, "I love you Piper".

A heavy metal object hit her back once and she shrieked in pain. Both women laughed and she was hit again and again and again. Each swing on her back brought a beautiful memory of her and Piper. It was probably her brain's way of dealing with the pain. It still hurt like fuck, but all the beautiful images that passed in her head made it easier. She could have thought about how she should have done things differently with Piper and reproach herself for not being enough, but it was probably her last minute alive and she wanted to suffer through them selfishly. Instead she thought about how happy Piper had made her, all their eventful trips taken around the world, the unforgettable nights shared together, all the perks and quirks that made Piper annoyingly lovable, and finally she thought about how Piper was the only one to ever love her so profoundly and veritably for who she is inside and not for what she represent.

Suddenly the woman stopped hitting and stood up. "Not yet. She hasn't suffered enough," Leann said to the other girl. They went away, leaving her beaten and bleeding on the floor. Alex wished they had just killed her. The pain was too much for her body and she passed out.

Piper had had an utterly crappy day. Everyone she had encountered so far hated her already, her counselor didn't do much counseling, she was denied a phone call and crying didn't help this time, and she was assigned to work in the wood workshop, which she was sure she would hate even more than electric.

It was soon time to sleep and Piper was happy to escape this horrible reality and dive into slumber where hopefully her dreams would be a little more pleasant.

Her not-so-friendly roommate entered the room and the electric door closed behind her and locked. Piper still didn't know her name so she decided to nickname her Gold Teeth. Piper tried not to make eye contact with Gold Teeth and continued to read to book she had started reading instead. She wondered where the other was since she assumed when the door closed and locked that meant it was nighttime.

Gold teeth changed into her nightgown and settled herself in her bunk at the opposite of Piper's.

Piper closed her book and the light to be sure not to bother her.

"It's fine I don't mind the light," Gold Teeth told her. Piper lifted her head and looked at her a little surprised. "Look I realize I was a little rude to you when you got here earlier. No hard feeling?"

This caught Piper a little off guard and she nodded and shook her head at the same time nervously.

"Name's Janet by the way, but everyone around here calls me Gold Gangsta," she told her. Close enough, Piper thought.

"Where are the others?" Piper asked her coyly, fearing she was going to spend the night alone in this room with her.

"Night shifts at work," Janet shrugged. "It's just you and me tonight Mary," she said to Piper and winked before going to sleep.

Piper figured she had forgotten her name already and thought it was Mary. She ignored it.

Piper couldn't get herself to sleep so she tried to think about Alex. She missed her so much already. It would be probably impossible to make a call from a prison to another prison. Hopefully she could send letters. It wouldn't be enough though- she needed Alex to comfort her physically. Piper sighed and imagined Alex on top of her, her head on her chest and the blonde gently caressing her hair. With that thought she fell asleep.

Piper dreamed about what she previously thought, except this time Alex was gently biting and licking her neck. The dark-haired woman started to hump her, slowly at first then it became harder and painful. Piper winced in her sleep. It felt so real. The blonde suddenly woke with a start and a hand found her mouth and muffled her scream by shoving her head in the pillow and holding her there. Janet was on top of her and with her free hand had a finger on her own lips, shushing her.

Janet took out a knife and put it on Piper's throat. "You try to scream or tell anyone about this and I'll kill you. You hear me?" Piper nodded quickly and just cried. She wasn't sure what she was going to do to her, but it didn't sound good.

Piper watched Janet switch the knife in her hand so that she was holding the blade. A hand still on the blonde's mouth to keep her from screaming, Gold Gangsta moved the weapon so that it was under Piper's nightgown and penetrated her with the knife handle.

It was painful like she was getting her inside tear apart and Piper looked down to make sure she was not using the blade. She tried to scream anyway and the thrust inside her just became harder. If Piper hadn't been so busy dealing with the excruciating pain she would have try to make sense of it. A woman she had met the morning before was raping her, it was gracious, not premeditated, random and cruel. How could you make sense of that?

"You are so wet for me baby I like that." Janet told her softly. That didn't make sense either. She was talking to Piper like she was talking to her girlfriend and what in the world was she getting out of this anyways?

This made Piper so angry that she bit the other woman's hand despite the forceful hold. She had been turned on by the dream she had just had of Alex. She was wet for Alex, only Alex.

Janet growled and held her even more strongly. Piper wondered when she was going to stop since her aggressor was never going to come like this. Maybe she was waiting for Piper to come, but that wasn't going to happen either. For a few seconds Piper tried to pretend it was Alex inside her to make it better, but it didn't work. Even when Alex was being a little rough with her when they were making love she was still gentle and loving. What Piper was going through right now was not sex; it was an assault. A relentless assault and Piper had had enough of being attacked by crazy psychos in one year. She wanted her life back.

With all the strength she had inside her, Piper sat up and shoved her elbow brutally in Janet's jaw, making her fall off the bed. She took the blade handle out of her vagina and screamed at the top of her lung. A guard entered the room quickly and handcuffed Janet then got her out the room.

Piper realized her abdomen was full of blood—blood that came from Janet's hand that had been cut when she held the blade to penetrate her. Piper just cried. She sat there alone with a stranger's blood on her, helpless and physically suffering of a pain that didn't even compare to how painful it was to have lost the intimacy that she had wished to share with one person only.

A/N: Wow I didn't plan to write something so brutal today, but it sorta happened. I'm sorry. I promise lots of fluff and love soon so keep reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you think, even if you hate me for being so cruel to our ladies. Shoot out to the peeps that leave me a lovely comment every chapter; you guys are the reason I write.