Chapter 41 – Moments of Truth
With the ship leaving yahg space, Shepard walked through the CIC, feeling withdrawn. Her crew, her family, were everywhere she looked, busy with their tasks, but she'd never felt so isolated. Steve had hardly said two words to her since she'd got back on the shuttle, giving her nothing but the polite 'Flight-Commander Cortez', and it dug down deep inside her.
She'd made a mistake.
By keeping her plan to herself and avoiding their arguments, instead of protecting them from the immense concern she knew they'd have for her, she'd just hurt them. At what point had she let herself step so far from her role as their superior officer? These people had been her family for so long, and while she knew they cared about her too, it had never stopped them from performing their duties in the face of whatever mad situation she was throwing herself into from one minute to the next. Somewhere along the line she'd forgotten to treat them like the soldiers they were. Yes, they'd protest because they cared, but ultimately they'd do as she ordered, just as they always did, watching her back along the way. It was understandable that they'd be pissed and insulted. They didn't need protecting from the truth.
Kaidan…. She'll have hurt him the worst….
Then she was at the cockpit, and Joker was turning his seat towards her, a scowl on his face. Where Steve internalised his unhappiness, Joker was very open about it, and she would take whatever he dished out.
"Robbie, would you excuse us for a minute?" Joker said, casually.
Altair looked between them, sensing the sudden tension. "Of course." Then she slipped quickly out, Joker sealing the cockpit hatch behind her.
"What the hell were you thinking!? And don't tell me you didn't have all that planned from the outset! Have you told Kaidan about that crazy stunt you pulled yet? I bet: not. You might think that I'm freaking out at you, but you just wait until your husband finds out – that'll be the true example of 'ballistic'!"
"Have you finished?" she murmured into the silence that followed.
"Not by a long-shot! I have questions. Like, where are we going? I mean, at least we're not heading to those Leviathan coordinates. I actually thought you were going to waltz us right up to them."
As soon as she'd returned to the Normandy, Shepard had issued him a new set of coordinates, though they were still heading in the right direction; a fact that Joker had noticed as he sent her a look of uneasy suspicion.
"We'll be rendezvousing with an Alliance ship."
"Back-up?"
Shepard chewed on the inside of her mouth. "No. ETA?"
Joker stared at her for a few seconds before twisting back to his console to check. "An hour and five."
"Would you open the internal comm, please?"
"Sure," he frowned.
"All personnel: In just over an hour's time you'll be transferring to another Alliance ship. Take this time to close your stations, collect all your personal items to take with you, and make your way to the exit. The next part of my journey I have to do alone. Know that it's been an honour to work with each and every one of you, and that should I not make it back, I've ensured you'll all be re-assigned under Admiral Hackett himself. Thank you all. I couldn't have done any of this without you."
"What the shit!?" Joker said, the second she'd closed the comm.
"Eloquent. Edi can take control of the ship." She rested her hand on his shoulder. "Go get your things."
"You can't be serious, Shepard! I know you're going after the Leviathans, and that means you still need a pilot. I'm staying," Joker stated defiantly.
Shepard had been expecting this. "I already said that Edi-"
"Edi isn't me. Look, I said I was with you, whatever. And I meant it."
"Damn it Joker, I'm trying to protect you." Her breath hitched then - was she doing it again? No. The ship didn't need to be fully manned for what was coming - there'd be no out-manoeuvring required for this fight - and she was under no illusion what the outcome might be. "There's no reason for you to be put at unnecessary risk."
"And who's protecting you? Kaidan's not here… Or Garrus. So I'm stepping up. You shouldn't be alone. Ever."
Fighting back the emotion his words had stirred, Shepard finally gave in to hug her wonderful but breakable friend. He held her back, and she appreciated him all the more for chasing away the solitude even as she worried about his future.
"Alright, enough with the mushy stuff. So what's going on?" he asked as she pulled away.
She sat heavily in the co-pilot's seat. "You're really not going to like it."
"Okay, I'm now verging on soiling myself." Joker studied her, the frown lines deepening. "Hey, promise me you've got a way to make it through whatever you've planned."
"I can't," she answered honestly.
Joker's face twisted. "Damn, Shepard. You're killing me here."
"I'm sorry, Joker. But believe me, I have every intention of getting back to Rorie and Kaidan. I'm just asking you to trust me."
"I do. It's why I'm still here and haven't gone pirate with my ship," he quipped.
Shepard rolled her eyes. "Edi wouldn't let you."
"Pff. Details," he brushed off. "Can't believe we're taking on three Leviathans alone, though."
"Actually, we won't be alone," divulged Shepard.
"Mysterious. Just what I need. Now I have more questions. Cheers, Shepard," Joker griped. "By the way, what is your middle name?"
Shepard frowned back at him. "I don't have one."
"Oh, good. You do now." Then he swung fully back to his console, and braced himself. "Okay. I'm ready. Lay it all on me."
Shepard didn't ask what name he'd chosen - 'crazy' seemed likely. Whatever, he was probably right. Inhaling deeply in preparation for telling him the rest of her plan, she also knew that after that was done, she'd have to make a call. To Kaidan.
oOo
Kaidan, Garrus and Aethyta stood just inside the medbay of the Alliance ship that had picked them up, watching the medics work on Javik, as Liara hovered pale-faced nearby. Walking over to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder, Kaidan felt the anxious tension in her. Guilt ran through him that Javik, the last of his race, had likely sacrificed himself to save him. It exacerbated the ache in his head.
The medbay doors slid open behind them and Kaidan looked to see the captain of the ship enter. Though he'd forgotten the name of the ship, he recalled the man's name was Duchesneau. Giving Liara's shoulder a gentle squeeze, Kaidan joined the Captain where he was waiting respectfully at the entrance with Aethyta and Garrus.
"General," Duchesneau spoke quietly, "the shuttle containing the yahg has been transferred to Admiral Hackett's ship, and we're connecting with them now."
That meant that Wrex, Grunt, Jack, James, and Bau were all there, too. The shuttles containing Kaidan's biotic squads, and Aethyta's commandoes, would have returned to their respective ships. He looked back at Javik. He should tell Terra. He hesitated over his omnitool. It didn't seem right to tell her like that, not when he could do it face to face; she'd be sure to join them on Hackett's ship, ready to help deal with the yahg. "Captain, I'm going to head straight over."
"Understood, Sir. Your team?"
"I'm always happy to leave medbay," uttered Garrus, looking thoroughly uncomfortable as he watched the medics.
"Being prodded by doctors is never as enjoyable as it sounds," imparted Aethyta. "Besides, after seeing the yahg first-hand, I want to see how you're going to tame one."
Leaving the medbay, Kaidan stopped Aethyta with a hand at her elbow, just before the elevator. "Maybe you should stay," he said. "For Liara."
The matriarch's dismayed face told him she'd got his message: Liara was likely in for a rough ride.
"Responsible parent stuff," she sighed, looking back at the medbay door like it led to her doom. "Not sure I'm much good at it…. I'll probably do or say something stupid and inappropriate. Slap her on the back with a 'never mind, Liara, plenty more protheans in the sea'. Ah, crap."
"It's not so important that you say anything. Just be there when she needs you."
"Turns out hugs are pretty potent things," added Garrus, as he stood inside the elevator beside Duchesneau. "Definitely don't mention protheans in the sea. Though I have absolutely no idea what that's supposed to even mean, it would be wholly inaccurate. Right, Alenko?"
Kaidan just lifted his hand to massage his forehead, closing his eyes. "Okay, we're stepping into weird, and my head hurts too much to deal with it."
"Can I help with that, babe?" Aethyta's grin could be heard in her voice.
"No," he answered, firmly, deciding to move inside the elevator and out of range of the errant matriarch. "But I'd appreciate it if you could keep me apprised of Javik's condition."
"You got it, hot stuff."
As the doors closed, Kaidan caught the odd look on Duchesneau's face. The man must think they were all nuts.
oOo
"I'm happy to report no breaks, Commander," Hackett's doctor said to James. "Extensive bruising, but that will soon be remedied. The ligaments in your joints are showing some evidence of strain, but nothing requiring anything more than taking it easy for a couple of days."
"That's great, Doc. What about my colleague?" James asked, looking over at Jack, where she was propped against the neighbouring bed, arms crossed.
"She was very lucky. Much more over-stressing her implant like that and she would have fried her brain, to put it plainly," the doctor said pointedly in her direction.
"Whatever," Jack huffed. "I know my limits."
"My scans indicate you don't," countered the doctor, a little condescendingly, clearly oblivious to Jack's reputation.
As James expected, her face darkened, and she stood straight, hands fisted for a confrontation. "Okay," he said quickly, moving off the bed to sling his arm casually around her shoulders, turning her towards the door in the process. "How about we go get you something to eat?"
With a searing look, she shrugged off his arm and stormed out, and James followed with a patient sigh. Jack had been stewing on something since they'd got on the shuttle, and she was about to boil over.
Sure enough, instead of heading to what he thought was the direction to the Mess, she grabbed a handful of his shirt, dragged him inside the open elevator, and then shoved him up against the far wall as the doors closed behind her.
"Uh…. Bella, this isn't the time or place for this sort of-" Jack's fist then smacked into his face, and though it smarted, all he registered was the angst on her face.
"One: you scared the fuck out of me, you asshole." She covered her anguish with anger, banging her fists down on his chest. "Two: you do that to me again and I will tear you apart myself," she promised fiercely. "And three: it's always the time and place." She flung herself into him, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him to her, her mouth and tongue catching his.
Unable to do anything but respond, James gave her what she really needed: an all-encompassing embrace that told her he was okay, that he was right here; a whispered apology for scaring her so badly by coming too close to a bad end; a kiss that said 'thank you for caring. I love you, too.' That done, he felt her tension drain away, and he held her close as she shuddered with emotion she was still new to acknowledging. Her head buried in his shoulder as she gripped onto him tight, James felt her tears on his skin. All he could think about was how damned lucky he was to have her, this crazy, passionate, furious creature, who poured all of herself into every situation with abandon.
Then she was drawing herself up, swiping away tears and retreating behind that angry shell again. But that was okay, because that was Jack.
"You let your stupid ass get thrown into the enemy." Then she frowned with the memory. "And I panicked. I've never done that. I would have gotten you killed. If Kaidan hadn't-"
"Ho now," interrupted James, trying to keep it light. "No if's. You heard the doc. I'm good. Everything attached." His finger beneath her chin, he made her look at him. "Thanks for having my back, Bella."
"Yeah, well, don't go making a habit of being a freaking idiot. I won't always be there to save your sorry ass. I've got my own job to do."
"Yes, Ma'am. And it is a fine ass."
"I'll give you that," Jack smirked back, and James saw the heat igniting in her eyes.
A loud banging, followed by a deep krogan chuckle, had them both surprised to see that sometime during their conversation the elevator had taken them down to the shuttle bay where Wrex and Grunt had made it their personal duty to keep an eye on the yahg that was currently still unconscious and incarcerated behind four containment fields. While Grunt had stayed on guard, Wrex had decided to make his presence known.
"Want to compare now?" Wrex leered in.
Jack lunged forward, her face in Wrex's. "Show that thing to me and I'll tear off that precious quad of yours and shove them down your throat."
Wrex reared back a little, took her measure, and figured she probably would, grumbling as he stalked away to Grunt's amusement.
Laughing, James pulled her back to him, closing the doors with the intention of getting her back to the Mess. "Okay, quit scaring the krogan warlord." He kissed her. "I'm looking forward to showing you how much I appreciate you."
Jack reached out and stopped the elevator. "Why wait?"
James' brows shot up. "Uh…. because we're on Hackett's ship."
"Do I look like I care?" she said with a wickedness that had his heart racing. Then it sped up faster as she slid her way down his body.
"But- HO!" was all he could manage.
oOo
Hackett braced himself for the arrival of his son-in-law. This was going to be one of the hardest things he'd ever have to deal with, of that he was certain.
The airlock opened and Kaidan walked through, followed by Garrus, and Hackett could have cursed his poor luck at having to do this with the turian present as well. He pulled out the Admiral – he was, after all, on duty.
"Alenko. Vakarian. Congratulations on a successful mission."
"Thank you, Sir," saluted Kaidan. "Any problems with the yahg since he arrived here?"
"No. Still out. The doctors have checked him over to ensure he's none the worse for the sedation, and have confirmed his body's processing it rapidly. They doubt it'll be long before he's up."
"And the 'conversation' begins," Garrus said, sceptically.
"It's a long-shot," agreed Hackett.
"But one we lose nothing in taking," added Kaidan. "Though I don't expect for one minute it'll be easy. Shepard here?" He looked around the CIC as they passed through. "I didn't see the Normandy out there."
There it was. The inevitable question. Considering their surroundings it wasn't the best place to break it to him, but Hackett clung to the hope that Kaidan would be mindful of the subordinates around him.
"The Normandy has left the area."
He was prepared for the sudden stop.
"Why?"
Two sets of keen eyes were fixed on him and Hackett wished he could be somewhere else. Instead, he kept his voice low as he delved into the truth. "There's something you need to know about Terra's role on Parnack." While Kaidan was frozen still, waiting for him to carry on, Garrus shifted uneasily.
Then Kaidan's omnitool chimed, and though Hackett could tell he was about to shut it off, a glance had him raising it instead. "It's Terra."
"You'll want privacy for that call," he assured Kaidan. With no small amount of relief that he didn't have to break the news after all, Hackett gestured to them to follow him.
oOo
Liara watched the medics now standing around Javik, who lay on his side. The spear's shaft had been cut through but the rest still lay within Javik. The faces of the doctors as they studied the projected image from their scans, told Liara all she needed to know. They couldn't remove it without causing him more damage, and he was barely holding on as it was. The pain could be dealt with, so too the blood loss, but nothing could fix him inside.
"Liara."
She almost gasped to hear her name spoken so weakly from Javik. His hand shifted slightly, as though to reach out and she moved forward to grasp it, eager to offer what comfort she could. A final questioning look at the doctors had them shaking their heads in return – Javik was dying - and they moved away to give her privacy.
"Do not mourn for me, Liara T'Soni," he rasped. His chest was shuddering with the effort. "… I was given a chance no other prothean got: … to see the Reapers end. … But I have been out of place for too long. … Wounded saving a life of a friend, in battle…. It is a memory that will replace those of the indoctrinated friends I had to kill. …. It is a satisfying end."
The sorrow that had been trying to clutch at her, finally claimed Liara, the tears forming gentle rivulets down her cheeks. "Thank you for giving me the chance to truly know the prothean race in a way I could never have imagined. It has been an honour." Her heart ached at the thought of the last prothean dying. The last of his race. A thought came to her…. Could she ask it of him? "Javik… would you allow…." Her courage left her then, but Javik's hand tightened on hers, reminding her that he would know her thoughts anyway.
"Yes."
Moments later, the medics exited the medbay as Liara requested, and it locked down.
oOo
In Hackett's war-room, Kaidan paced in front of the holo-image of Terra, the crew turfed from the area, and Garrus and Hackett standing at the periphery watching him like they might an unpredictable animal.
"That's why the buildings were destroyed: to stop the yahg swarming you from the tunnels," Kaidan murmured, his jaw tight. He'd already noticed the bruises at her neck from EDI, but she appeared otherwise unharmed. "You were locating the Leviathans through the artifact."
Nodding, Terra was trying hard not to avert her eyes from his own accusing ones, and he couldn't hold back the anger.
"What the hell were you thinking!? How could you risk yourself like that and not even tell me!? The spores might not have had enough time to take hold properly! The Leviathans could have…." He couldn't even bring himself to say it, the thought of her lying at the foot of the Intelligence, eyes open, but brain dead, was too much to contemplate.
"I got it wrong, Kaidan," she admitted, with a pained expression. "I was concerned that you'd be distracted-."
"Distracted!? I wouldn't have let you do it!" He spun to Hackett. "You shouldn't have let her do it!"
The veteran Admiral straightened, an unrelenting wall under Kaidan's denunciation. "It was the only way to find them, and you know she'd still have done it, regardless of what you had to say about it. Believe me, I wasn't happy about it, but she was right - it was the only way to find them. And she did it. We have a location."
Alarm and panic seized Kaidan as he pieced it all together, and had Terra been physically there he would have grabbed her. Instead, all he could do was stare back at her, hands fisted. "You're going after them!?"
"Yes, but Kai-."
"You can't take them on alone!" Once again he turned to Hackett, disbelief running through him. "What the hell are we still doing here!? All of our forces are here! You get these fleets moving, and we go after her! Now!" Kaidan found himself at the receiving-end of those icy eyes, but he didn't care.
"You don't get to make demands of me and my fleets, General."
"Kaidan, no." Terra re-gained his attention. "The fact is, for this to work I need to draw the Leviathans out. They won't crawl from their hiding place if they sense an army, but for just one ship…that ignorance will work against them. I have to make them think I'm alone."
"You really expect me to stay here while you're out there!?"
"What I expect you to do is to be the amazing soldier I know you are. The man I should have known would handle the truth from the start, and then carry on, despite his fears for me. It's imperative that you try to defuse this situation on Parnack first. We can't let the yahg continue to think that we're the aggressors here. They're a smart race, and with that incentive and an accelerated knowledge from our technology, they'll become an even greater threat. Finish your mission."
"No." He cut the connection, denying her because it wasn't what he wanted to do. Maybe she'd been right to keep this from him. He couldn't focus knowing the danger she was in. She meant too much. Her beautiful but penitent image now gone, Kaidan had a sudden stomach-clenching dread that reinforced his innate need to go after her. But it was clear he'd get no help from Hackett. The man had made his decision and he was as stubborn as Terra.
He looked at Garrus for help, who had chosen to say quiet during Kaidan's conversation with Terra. Vakarian already had his omnitool lit as he stepped further away from them for privacy, and Kaidan had a feeling it was a call direct to Victus in the hope of getting the turian fleets to go after Terra. But then Kaidan caught the flash of something on Hackett's face – a trace of regret – and Kaidan knew that Hackett had foreseen this, bringing Victus into the loop. A fact Garrus has just been apprised of if his face was anything to go by.
"You son of a bitch," loosed Kaidan, furiously. "She's your daughter!"
Hackett didn't react to his slur. "She's a soldier and so are you. I know it's hard, but this is what you risk when you break the fraternisation regs: a whole galaxy of hurt when they go off and do their duty. Now be the damn soldier you signed up to be and do your duty. The sooner we get that yahg to understand our presence here, the sooner we can leave. Are we clear?"
"God damn it!" Kaidan stormed out. He was left with no choice. "Where's the yahg?" he flung back at the crew as he arrived at the elevator.
"Shuttle bay, Sir," someone provided.
Kaidan kicked the metal doors of the elevator that still hadn't opened. "What the fuck is taking so long?"
"Sorry, Sir," rushed out a nearby engineer, eyes flicking nervously over to the approaching Hackett. "It seems there's a manual stop placed on it."
"Override it," ordered Hackett, calmly.
Then the elevator could be heard moving, the doors opened, and inside was a very flushed and ruffled Vega with Jack.
"Get out," barked Kaidan. "We'll be having a discussion about your activities while on duty, Commander," he warned through gritted teeth, as Vega stumbled out, mortified, with Jack following nonchalantly behind.
"What the fuck's your problem, boy scout?" Jack snarled.
"Shepard's using herself as bait for the Leviathans," Kaidan bit out, slamming his hand on the command panel, leaving Hackett, Garrus, and the two now-cursing lovebirds to slip in quickly.
Kaidan concentrated on his ire over being kept in the dark, then kept from Terra – it helped to dull the fear he felt for her – and it accompanied him all the way down, along with the silence of four people who sensibly didn't speak.
oOo
Liara exited the medbay to the sound of the single tone from the machine that told them Javik's heart was no longer beating. She felt strange inside. Unbelievably forlorn, but also very different - hopeful. There was death, but also life….
"Little Wing."
Needing her father's comfort, she went gladly into Aethyta's arms.
"What happened in there, Liara?"
"He was ready to leave," she murmured into her father's shoulder. "He was so tired. Too tired to fight any longer."
"Damn shame. The last of a species."
"Mostly. He gave me something that will ensure his people will remain a small part of this galaxy for a little while longer." He'd given her more than that, though. He'd given her true peace of mind – the meld proving she could be intimate without harming. Afterwards, there had been a softening to that severe face that she'd never seen in him before. Javik had then passed away, she hoped with the memory of pleasure that can only be found in sharing yourself with another soul, and pride to know his final acts included saving a life and creating a new one.
Pulling back to stare at her, Aethyta's eyes couldn't have gotten bigger if she'd surgically implanted a salarian's. "You embraced eternity with him!? Right there in the medbay!? Haha! That's my girl!" She hugged Liara like a proud father, then remembered her daughter was grieving. "Crap…. Sorry, Little Wing. Knew I should have just kept my mouth shut."
Liara gave a small smile. She needed the levity. "Do not change, father. I will be fine. I have an amazing experience to look forward to: motherhood."
Aethyta braced her hands on Liara's shoulders. "What about the 'making' part? Wasn't that amazing, too?"
"Father," Liara sighed. "I really do not think-."
"No, don't go and ruin it with thinking. How did it feel? Never had a prothean."
"Goddess, father. You have a one-track mind."
"Yes I do. Fun, fun, fun. This life's too severe as it is. Don't know how many times I have to say it. Make it pleasurable when you can. Haven't you worked that out by now, with that clever brain of yours?"
Liara had the notion that there would be a lot of happiness in her future. Sweet Rorie came to mind, making her smile at the thought of having her own daughter. But first there were things that had to dealt with – the Leviathans being the biggest. "Excuse me," Liara called out to a nearby medic. "Would you arrange for Javik's body to be placed in stasis and transferred to my ship?"
"Of course, Dr T'Soni."
"What will you do with him?" Aethyta asked as they watched the crewman re-enter the medbay to prepare the body.
"Return him home," said Liara, softly. "Eden Prime."
The silence didn't last long.
"Hm. So… this kid'll be half prothean, with a little bit of krogan…. Better keep a tight rein on that one. She'll be charging into galaxy domination before you know it. Think I'd best have a lot of input there. She'll need me to teach her how to lighten up."
"Oh dear," uttered Liara, though in fact she was teasing. Aethyta's desire to be a part of her child's life was very welcome.
"Ah, come on! I know all sorts of ways to have a good time."
"And I doubt any of those are appropriate."
"I swear you were born old. Remember my word of caution: without laughter you'll end up with a face like Linron's - sour."
This time Liara was unable to remain impassive, a short rush of amusement escaping her lips.
"That's better," grinned Aethyta, linking her arm with Liara's as they walked behind the casket that emerged from the medbay. "Can't believe I'm going to be a grandparent, though. I'm way too young."
oOo
The yahg laid on the crates, too large for one of their standard-issue beds. Even sedated, it looked no less imposing.
"Sir! It's waking up!"
Despite the containment fields, Hackett's security team raised their weapons alongside Wrex and Grunt.
There was no gentle waking. The moment it had a modicum of consciousness, it was springing to its feet, spinning to take in its situation. Upon ascertaining its imprisonment, it roared back at them all.
"That's enough," Kaidan ordered impatiently, not even blinking at the aggression as he walked right up to the barriers that separated him and the yahg - nothing could scare him more than his wife's antics did. "I know you're intelligent. I know you can understand us. That you can communicate. I'm General Alenko, Alliance Navy and Council Spectre."
It stared back at them, absolutely still, except for the eyes that scanned every face, a special hatred flaring as it came to Bau, who slowly held his hands up to show he meant no ill-intent.
"I know what my fellows have done to you," said Bau. "I assure you I had no part in it, and no more of your people will be used in such a way again."
The yahg growled back, unimpressed by his words. Its eyes flicked back to Kaidan, then it slammed its hands into the field that contained it, making its unspoken point.
"For our protection," Hackett stated, moving to stand beside Kaidan. "Your people have given us no reason to believe you'd do anything other than try to kill us all. That's not going to happen."
"You need to listen," said Kaidan. "Can you do that?"
It sneered but remained silent. What Kaidan was about to say - about Leviathans and mind control - suddenly seemed unbelievable. He only hoped this yahg would see the truth, because Kaidan desperately wanted to be somewhere else, and soon.
oOo