Chapter 14:

"I'm Sorry"

Piper wondered with so little sleep how she felt so energized and blissful. The night spent before in the shed with Alex had been magical and replenishing. Being with Alex made her feel effervescent, vibrant, as if every moment spent with her was the only time she felt truly alive and whole. As for the sex, well it made her feel like she was enough. She didn't need to prove herself with Alex—they were just two human beings naturally driven by passion with one goal in mind; to make each other feel good.

Alex felt exactly the same way. Even if the way they made love had changed, even if she had to be more gentle and soft, the ardor between them had not diminished a slightest bit—it had grown instead.

After breakfast Piper and Alex met in the chapel. Alex lied with her stomach on the floor and her grey hoodie was in a bundle under her head and Piper lied on her side next to her girlfriend. They gazed at each other lovingly for a while… until Alex cracked up.

"What? What's so funny?" Piper asked and giggled along with her.

"We're becoming one of those cheesy couple and I'm laughing because I'm actually enjoying it and I never thought I would." Alex explained and put her arm around Piper's waist. "I love you," she said more seriously.

"I love you too Alex Vause and I'm glad you're enjoying our cheesiness 'cause I am too." Piper replied and laughed. She had never been a sucker for cheesy stuff either, but it was just inevitable with Alex and she had learned to enjoy it—they both had.

Piper's hand slipped under her girlfriend's shirt and moved on her perfect curves, stopping until her wrist was under the elastic band of her pants. Her fingers drew soft pattern on her ass and Alex shivered under her touch. Alex knew the blonde wasn't doing that to initiate sex, but rather to seek for intimacy and comfort. Alex reciprocated by putting a warm hand on her back under her shirt and their forehead leaned on each other.

"So…" Piper broke the silence after a few minutes. "My lawyer is coming to visit me today, he said he has some important stuff to talk to me about," she explained and Alex felt her become tense. She turned on her side and brought Piper closer to her.

"Do you know what he wants to talk about?" Alex asked softly. Piper shook her head. There wasn't a specific reason why Piper was anxious about that meeting, but she and Alex had been such in a good place that she didn't want any bad news to break her happiness. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Hold me for a while?" Piper requested.

"Of course," Alex said and shifted her body so that one of her leg was wrapped protectively around Piper. She held her tightly in her arms and caressed her hair until the blonde was completely relaxed and then it was time to leave.

Piper entered the visitation room and looked for her lawyer. She barely remembered what he looked like because they had only met once briefly a few weeks ago after Larry's father had been replaced. She finally found him sitting on the back of the room. He was quite attractive—a tall, dark-haired guy with a charming smile and a little dorky—totally her type if it weren't that she was dating the most beautiful woman and was in prison.

"Hi Mr. Donavan," Piper said as she sat on the chair.

"Please call me Nicolas dear," he said casually and smiled. "How are you feeling Piper?"

"I'm great thank you sir, I mean Nicolas," Piper corrected herself nervously. She wasn't sure why she was calling him 'sir' since he was approximately her age or younger, but she wanted to sound professional and not like a rebel prisoner.

"Great that's what I wanna hear. Alright, so I reviewed your case, let me just say it's a particular one I haven't seen or heard anything like it, and I'm confident that I could reduced those 4 years to 1 or 2 years," Nicolas stated, a little bit too sure of himself. Piper was astonished and most certainly perplex. She wasn't sure if she could trust him yet. She waited for him to continue. "So, that judge didn't have the right to give you this sentence, it's barbaric and unfair and I will not tolerate that you stay in this cage while your innocent. However, I was glad to hear that you got transferred back in a minimum security prison, beautiful girls like you don't deserve to live around animals."

Piper was confused. Was he flirting, was he trying to screw her over or was he simply being nice? With everything she had been through already she hoped it was the latest. "Right, so what are you going to do?" Piper asked.

"Well it's simple, I'm gonna report this judge to the ABA, I have a strong case and I'm going to present it to them and ask to review your situation." Nicolas explained. Piper had no idea what the ABA meant and if this plan was plausible.

"What makes you think it's gonna work?"

"Because I'm good Piper. You just gonna have to wait and see," he said, leaning back on the chair with a grin on his face. A few second after the C.O declared visitation hour over and they said their goodbyes.

Piper rushed out of the visitation room and immediately went to find Alex to tell her the good news. She found her sitting in the yard under a tree, reading a book.

"Alex!" Piper shouted from a few feet away as she walked to her girlfriend. The tall woman looked up and smiled at her lover, tossing her book aside and putting her glasses on her head.

"Hey how did it go, you look happy. What happened?" Alex asked and Piper sat down next to her.

Piper looked at Alex, joy radiating on her face, and finally told her, "There's a chance I might get out of here sooner!"

Alex jaw's dropped slightly and her heart broke a little as she saw no concern or sadness coming from Piper regarding that it meant they would be apart. They had almost the same amount of time left on their sentence from a few months apart. She tried to hide her disappointment and sound happy for her girlfriend despite the pain in her chest and the small lump forming in her throat. "That's… that's great Piper I'm really happy for you," Alex stammered and swallowed audibly. "So how sooner?"

"Well if everything works out perfectly, I should have my old sentence back and get out in a few months," Piper explained with the same glow on her face.

"So it will be like nothing ever happened," Alex muttered, irritated and looked down.

"Excuse me?" Piper said, searching for Alex's gaze.

"Nothing."

"What nothing?" Piper waited for Alex to say something then she realized she wasn't going to. "Wow… I sincerely thought you were gonna be happy for me."

"I didn't say I wasn't!" Alex snapped and looked up at Piper.

"Then why are you acting like this?" Piper raised her tone, astonished.

"Because it doesn't even seem to bother you that we are going to spend 4 years apart! That we are going to see each no more than one hour a week and that the closest we're going to get intimately is a 3 seconds hug in a crowed visitation room!"

"I did it with Larry…" Piper said and realized how stupid that sounded. She hadn't really thought this through- all she had in mind was her freedom.

"Oh yeah because that worked so well you cheated on him! How can I be sure it won't happen again when we're apart huh?" Alex argued.

"With you! I cheated on him because I wanted you! There's no reason why I would cheat I have the person I want to be with now!" Piper retorted quickly.

Alex shook her head. "So once again it's all about you. There are no us in your world is there? I'm just a fucking blanket to keep you warm for the time you're here and then what when you get your freedom back? You go back to your suburban yawny life of expansive Starbucks coffees every morning, Weightwatcher and yuppie dinner parties with privilege assholes. If that's what you want, be my guess."

Piper was crying, tears pouring down her face and soaking her shirt. Alex words hurt her like a drill made a hole in her heart. She wondered how it was possible that her world had been so quickly torn apart again, how this kept happening to her. She looked at Alex, her chin quivering with anger and sadness, and said, "Fuck you. Just fuck you Alex. I've been nothing but loving and caring with you every day ever since we got back together and not for a second, not for a second I thought I wouldn't want this, you in my arms for the rest of my life. I thought it was clear, I thought you knew me better by now. But apparently you don't. So fuck you." With that said, Piper stood up and left.

Alex knew she had just fucked up pretty bad. She wished sometimes she wasn't such an asshole, that she could be a good person. With the parents she had and the people she was surrounded with most of her life, she felt like it was nearly impossible. Her blood boiled in rage, not against Piper but herself. She stood up, heart beating violently inside her chest, and the first thing that came to mind wasn't to go and fix her relationship—it was much more horrible. Alex dashed across the yard to the wire fence, climbed it like a monkey with her boost of adrenaline regenerated by anger, and before she knew, her body was entirely electrocuted.

Some might think it was an attempt to escape the prison, but for Alex it was an attempt to escape her mind, her life, and the unbearable thought that she could never be a better person for Piper, herself or anyone.

One week after the incident, Alex was released from psych with no serious injury physical or else. She had been incredibly lucky- not that she thought so at first- because the shocks were only medium voltage—enough to knock you down on your ass and unconscious, but not enough to leave any damage. Considering her history, the staff didn't consider this as an attempt to escape, but as a suicidal attempt, giving her only a shot, a prescription for sad drugs and she had been on strict psychological supervision and needed to come back weekly for a check up. Her time spent down there, as horrible as it had been, gave her time to reflect on her life and on her relationship. She was now determined to try to fix things with Piper, whatever that implied.

Piper had been worried sick and felt guilty as hell the whole week. Everyday she hoped to see her walked through the halls again and tell her how sorry she was and how much she loved her. Luckily for her, that day finally came.

Alex walked in the dorm, immediately enjoying the ray of sunlight piercing through the window. When Piper saw her she darted out of her bunk and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Oh my god Alex, I was so worried. I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't think… I can't believe. Oh my god." Piper tried to talk but she just wanted to hold her tight.

"It's okay Pipes. Come with me." Alex reassured her and took her hand. She dragged her to the chapel so that they could talk privately.

"Alex I love you okay. I love you and look, I'm gonna tell my lawyer that I don't want to get out before my time. I'm gonna do those 4 years with you. You are more important than anything. Please Alex don't ever try to hurt yourself like that again." Piper begged her once they got in the chapel.

Alex put her hand on each side of her arms, leaned forward and looked in her eyes. "It's okay, I love you." Piper started to protest, but Alex interrupted her. "Wanna be my fiancée?

A/N: That was quite the rollercoaster ride! I just want to apologize that it took so long for me to update I've been busy over my head with work. I hope you liked this chapter. Please review if you are still interested with the story, I have more in store for you guys! Thanks for reading