Chapter 46 – A Diamond In The Rough

At the feel of Garrus' hand on his shoulder, everything around Kaidan came back in a rush. He battled through the numbness. Terra…. He had to believe there was a chance she was alive. That meant she was on borrowed time. Though he didn't let it show, panic ran through him. Kaidan looked around at the crew, who were waiting for orders.

Beside him, Hackett was motionless, yet to recover from the deadening shock.

"Steven?" Kaidan murmured. "It's not too late. Terra still needs us." The man jolted, the stone facade firmly in place.

"Move us in," Hackett commanded. "This is now a rescue mission. Find Admiral Shepard." It was delivered like a warning - as though failure to complete it to his satisfaction would be detrimental to their careers. "Alert all ships."

It felt like they were crawling forward, and Kaidan couldn't look at the ruined Normandy any longer, turning away only to face those around him whose hearts had also been captured by Terra Shepard.

Wrex had started pacing loudly across the metal grating, clearly feeling as ineffective as Kaidan did, and Grunt was pounding his fist into his hand in a rare display of agitation. Garrus had moved closer to the window, scanning the horrendous scene like he was trying to make sense of it. James seemed to be praying in Spanish, to which Jack took exception with an angry display, her fists pummelling his chest.

"Stop it! She's not dead!" she seethed at him.

James caught her wrists. "I'm just asking for a little extra help finding her, Bella. It can't hurt, no?"

Left speechless as James' gentle and earnest response took her fire away, Jack was finding it difficult to cover her despair. For all her tough words, she was already grieving.

Kaidan wasn't there yet. He couldn't believe it – didn't want to - not until he saw…. No. Somehow, she'd have gotten away. Because he'd know - wouldn't he? – if that part of him that she filled was gone again? She was out there, just waiting for them to get a move on and pick her up.

"Admiral. I'm detecting an escape pod signal," called out a crewman. Kaidan moved in unison with Hackett to stand over the terminal to see it with their own eyes, unnerving the lieutenant manning it in the process.

The atmosphere changed then. Hope had a grip on them all.

"Designation?" Kaidan held his breath for the answer.

"01."

It was what he wanted to hear. "The cockpit's capsule."

"That has to be her!" Jack threw herself into James like it was all down to his prayer.

"Communication from the asari ship, Avastus," notified the communications specialist. "They're already tracking the signal and are closing in on the pod."

Liara. Kaidan had almost forgotten she was out there, too. So were Terra's displaced crew, the Alliance ship carrying them having re-joined the fleet somewhere along the way. But not all her crew…. "We need to locate the shuttle, too," he said quickly.

"I'm not getting any other signals except the life pod," apologised the lieutenant, as though it was his fault.

"Don't need it," called out Garrus. "I got a visual." He hurried over to pinpoint his sighting for the pilot.

It was brought up on screen, but it didn't look good. There was no power, and the Kodiak's hull was blown inwards.

"Get a salvage team sent out to retrieve it, a-sap," said Hackett, solemnly. "Update from the Avastus?" he directed at his specialist.

"Bringing the pod aboard their ship now."

"Request a visual link."

"Already granted, Sir." The comm specialist then transferred it to the large screen, and there was near-silence as they gathered round it in anticipation.

O

The pod slowly made its way toward Avastus' bay, programmed as it was to dock with any registered ship that answered its call, and Liara had never felt so anxious - not even when she'd thought she would spend her remaining centuries in a monastery. Feron took her hand, and she was grateful for his presence more than ever. She'd nearly collapsed on the spot when the Normandy had exploded, only Feron at her back had kept her on her feet. That image replayed over and over as she'd searched for any little signal, and then she'd found the pod and was on route even before the Alliance had discovered it.

Glyph floated beside her, dutifully recording and transmitting the footage to Hackett's ship. Shepard had to be in it…. The alternative was too awful to contemplate.

Then they were rushing forward as the pod passed through her ship's field, and Liara was reaching to release the hatch before it had even landed on the deck. It slid aside to reveal a pained and pale-faced Joker, and Liara gasped into her hands. Shepard wasn't with him.

"Did someone get her?" Joker asked desperately. "Please tell me someone got her! She didn't get in! She wouldn't! Liara, please!" He grasped her hands, apparently ignoring the pain from his broken limbs.

Liara couldn't speak. Her tears spoke for her, and Joker's hands fell from hers as he sagged back into the seat Shepard would have secured him into. Wincing, he tugged the cap from his head, and let it fall to the floor of the pod.

O

Hackett nearly broke at the sight of the lone figure within the pod that wasn't his daughter.

That pod had been Terra's best hope of surviving. It was like the collector attack all over again. First arriving to find the Normandy in pieces, and now that damned pod that only offered the pilot. His resentment flared for the man. Had Terra needed to stay to force him to evacuate again? If he found out that was the case, Commander Moreau's life wouldn't be worth living. He held on to that anger, because it helped to smother the one that wanted to send him sinking to his knees, wailing. It kept his heart beating.

Kaidan had instantly turned away from the view with a visage that was incredibly guarded, but his hands were fisted, and his usually-tanned skin appeared almost grey. Hackett understood only too well: it was disturbingly familiar. Hauntingly so.

But there were differences.

He looked back out, the Normandy's carcass so close he could take a leap and touch it. This time the aggressors hadn't gotten away with it. The charred remains of the Leviathans hung around the scattered pieces of Normandy like huge sentinels – everything important to the Leviathans survival gone, just those towering…tails? He didn't know what you'd call them, and didn't care. He'd see every last part of those things disintegrated before he left here.

They bled red, just like humans, Hackett observed; the mass of exposed liquid had instantly boiled and then formed into a frozen scarlet vapour that briefly tinted the scene as it passed by them.

"Sir, the salvaged shuttle is now being brought into the bay."

Those who had served with Terra at one time or other barrelled out of the CIC. Even Kaidan hadn't given up hope as he walked among them. Hackett wished he could hold onto something to make him think his beautiful, intelligent daughter was still out there, but he'd been stretched to his limit. He had nothing left…so he stood in place.

He'd had to watch Hannah sacrifice her life because of the Reapers, and now their creators had taken Terra. The galaxy was laughing its cruel head off at him.

oOo

The maintenance crew were using cutters in a bid to gain entry into the crumpled shuttle, but Kaidan could tell the krogan amongst them were getting impatient.

"Outta the way, humans," growled Wrex, shoving two aside when they didn't move quickly enough. He gripped an edge of sheared metal, Grunt taking another, and they pulled. It peeled away under the force, creating an opening that was filled by Wrex's face as he peered in. Then he punched his fist through the hull beside his head before stepping away to shake his head at them. "Empty."

Frowning, Kaidan had expected the worst - dead bodies - but not that. He checked it out for himself, but it offered nothing more than Wrex had described. Empty? He retreated a little to take it all in, and the answer when it came to him was obvious. "Normandy has- had - two shuttles."

"That's right," Garrus agreed, animated as he gladly joined Kaidan's line of thought. "This has to be the back-up vessel. It's not the one we saw in flight."

"So we keep looking," nodded James, bouncing a little on his heels. Then he actually strolled over to the open bay, walking right out onto the ramp to look.

"Notify Hackett," Kaidan murmured to the nearest crewman. "We're still missing the second shuttle."

"Where the fuck can it be?" Jack said, exasperated and as emotionally drained as the rest of them. She went to stand next to James while the ship orbited the wreckage.

"It may well be that the explosion itself destroyed the shuttle. And Shepard herself." Bau, who had stayed on the side-lines until now, was no doubt wishing he'd remained there as he was assailed with six dark looks.

"You want to live, salarian, I'd suggest you leave." Surprisingly, that was Garrus. It told the salarian Spectre one thing: he didn't belong amongst this particular group of people, and Bau conceded, lowering his gaze.

The ship's commander appeared in person. "General, we're sending out search probes now."

Kaidan merely nodded. Probes were the only way to get amongst the debris without risking harming anyone who might be in it. If Terra was there in the freezing embrace of space, the probes were key to finding her. In that, Kaidan could do nothing but wait.

He and the others all stood in a line either side of Jack and James. As he looked out at the mess, he began to feel the first grip of grief catch a hold of him. Terra…. He fought it back. It was denial, but he needed that. Concentrate on the shuttle. Even if Terra hadn't…survived…she'd expect him to look out for her crew; their friends…. But where the hell was it? Though he didn't want to think the worst, he had to admit that there was little left big enough to obscure something the size of a shuttle. The remains of a Leviathan loomed over them as they passed by…and a crazy notion formed in Kaidan's head.

He connected to Liara via his omnitool.

"Kaidan, Joker is refusing to allow the Alliance doctors to extract him for medical attention, nor will he allow me to give him any pain relief."

The fact was, in this moment in time, in this deja-vu of a situation, Kaidan wasn't sure how to feel about Joker. "That's his choice," was all he could say, in a haste to get to what he'd called for. "Liara. I need you to send Glyph out there to investigate the Leviathans." It was all he needed to say; his clever friend's face lit up as she worked it out. "It's grasping at straws but…."

"No, it is brilliant! It is something Shepard just might try, and Commander Cortez could pull off!"

Kaidan's heart seized at her words. It was something Terra would do, but he hadn't thought of it like that. Could she have gotten aboard the shuttle? The others seemed to think so as they jostled restlessly around him, but he was cautious about putting too much expectation into it.

"Keep your tool open," Liara said before disappearing from view.

Finding himself cocooned by friends eager to see what came from his suggestion, Kaidan looked up to see the Avastus moving in closer, and the small glow of Glyph exiting. Willing it to move faster, Kaidan worked on steadying his rampant heartbeat that had suddenly seen fit to ignore his head. Don't pin your hopes on this, he cautioned. But it's all there is, was the answer. That was the reality. If this didn't pan out it meant he'd lost Terra.

Images started coming through on his omnitool as Glyph scanned the first gigantic organic structure it came to. This was the one who had finished the Normandy. Its insides weren't pretty viewing, and there was a shocking amount of technology protruding through the dark red flesh, but it was clear it all belonged in there. Glyph came to the same assessment, moving out and to the next.

"Liara needs to put a rocket on that thing," grumbled Wrex.

"I hate waiting," nodded Grunt.

"Spirits, this is driving me crazy," griped Garrus.

Kaidan couldn't have agreed more. He wasn't sure how much more he could take before he started going slowly insane with the potent mixture of fear, concern, and grief that vied determinedly against the tide of optimism that refused to be quelled this time. Sooner or later something had to give.

"Maybe I can give it a helping hand," ground out Jack, her biotics covering her as she watched the orb's leisurely pace.

"Easy there," James murmured. "Best not risk damaging it."

"Fuck." Jack stomped off the ramp, then back again, her anxiety unnerving all of them.

When Glyph arrived at the second Leviathan it was relief all round, quickly followed by more tension. The extensive damage from the rachni was evident here, even after the explosion had washed over them. The insides were far more deteriorated – like the rachni had climbed right into their prey and had carried on their attack. What was left was disappointing – there were no foreign objects except that put there by the Leviathans.

With that, Jack swore again and walked off to take it out on some crates that had survived the yahg earlier.

Kaidan was tempted to join her. Anything to release this pressure inside of him. But he stayed, because turning away would have felt like turning his back on Terra – like giving up – and he couldn't do that. So he continued to watch Glyph's torturously slow journey to the last Leviathan, leaving James to calm Jack, while Garrus, Wrex and Grunt remained at his side, providing a comforting support he appreciated. They were all Terra's extended family, and they'd long been used to looking after each other during the worst of times.

Kaidan sighed at himself. There was someone he was failing. "Liara?"

"Yes, Kaidan?" Her voice was soft and quiet, but no less strained than his own.

"Can you put Joker on the line?"

"Of course."

"I'm so sorry," came Joker's broken voice. "She didn't get in!"

"She was protecting you. From the Leviathan." The more he thought about it the more Kaidan knew that was right. "She spoke to it before, through the artifact. I'd guess she was using herself as bait, goading it and letting it know where she was - to draw its attention away from the escape pod." That sounded just like her.

A muffled, anguished sound came from Joker. "She should have left me and got on the shuttle."

"It's not in her DNA," Kaidan answered with a small wistful smile, a new longing for Terra taking root. "And she'll be pissed beyond measure if she finds out you've decided to punish yourself by not getting treatment."

"I know. But I need to know if… I just need to-."

"Joker. You'll be told. Whatever the outcome. Please get seen to. It's what she'd want."

"…Okay."

"Thank you." Now Kaidan felt better knowing he'd done right by him. Persecuting Joker because he was the last to be with her wasn't the way. If his previous evaluation of why she hadn't gotten in the pod was right, then she wouldn't have gotten on that shuttle whether Joker was in it or not. Kaidan harboured his own guilt though. If he'd been more focused on the yahg instead of obsessing over Terra, he might have come to the answer of fighting for respect sooner. How had their delay affected the outcome here? That question weighed him down terribly.

Re-joining them, James gripped his shoulder, bringing Kaidan out of his stupor, and making him realise he'd let his arm drop. Lifting it again, his omnitool was the centre of attention as Glyph began analysing the remaining Leviathan. So much was riding on what came next….

Glyph was lighting up every dark crevice of this Leviathan, which was in as bad a state as the previous one. There was even a dead rachni, its bloated oxygen-deprived body caught between two bone-like structures within the Leviathan.

"Look up," muttered Garrus, impatiently.

But Glyph's feed was only a one-way thing, and it carried on its painstaking search in an orderly fashion that only an archaeologist could have appreciated.

"Glyph. Examine the area directly above."

Kaidan took it back; even Liara didn't have the forbearance.

His eyes followed the trail of light upwards…. When it came across something metal, it took Kaidan a few seconds for it to register just what it was he was looking at. The Kodiak!

"Alliance shuttle located," announced Glyph. "Engines offline. Life support system operational."

Garrus subconsciously grabbed a handful of Kaidan's jacket in elation. "Yes! They're in there! Shepard, too! I know it!"

Kaidan's heart was at full throttle. He turned to Hackett's maintenance crew. "Get a salvage team out there, now!"

"Yes, Sir!" They scurried into action, not questioning his authority. That's what gave Kaidan pause as he noticed Hackett wasn't there. Had the admiral given up? For everything Kaidan had endured, Hackett had experienced it all and more. Putting himself in Hackett's shoes, he imagined having already lost Terra, and this was Rorie missing in action…. He shuddered at the emptiness.

oOo

By the time the Kodiak was pulled from the Leviathan's remains and towed towards the shuttle bay, most of Hackett's crew had assembled, though they stayed at a respectable distance.

The beaten up shuttle passed through the field into the bay, the tethers attaching it to the rescue shuttles front and back, going taut as gravity pulled at the inert vessel. It was lowered to the ground with a clunk, and Kaidan was the first to move towards it, his heart thudding hard and his hand reaching out to open that hatch, only for it to be thrust open from the other side.

"Took your goddamned time."

Zaeed Massani filled the opening. He'd forgotten all about the man who had been involved in Chimera's plot; a friend of Hackett's. Kaidan pushed his distaste for the man aside.

"Dying inside a giant bloody insect would have been a goddamned embarrassment. Crazy stunt." He shook his head to reinforce his disbelief in what had happened.

"Move out of the fucking way!" shouted Jack, beating Kaidan to it with words that were on his own lips. Grunt even grasped Massani's armour and yanked him out to be discarded on the bay floor.

But Kaidan was already looking past – to Adams. The engineer shook his hand in relief and thanks as he stepped out to be greeted by Garrus. Then there was an awkward moment as a dazed, unknown asari emerged. What Kaidan wanted to do was move her on, but instead he managed a strained smile, helping her out. "You're alright now, Ma'am."

"Th-thank you."

Garrus took her elbow, gesturing for a medic to see to her. Meanwhile, Jack had backed off, her apprehension causing her to want to distance herself, like the potential pain of Shepard not being aboard would be lessened somehow.

When Cortez was the next to appear, Kaidan began to feel that desolation dragging at him, fearing the pilot was the last.

"Esteban!" cheered James. "Now I know what happens when you have a one-armed pilot! That was one weird landing!" Kaidan then heard James swallow nervously, his voice dropping to a serious one. "Tell us you're not alone in there, man."

"You seriously think I could have possibly conceived of using a Leviathan as a shield? I was just following orders, Mr Vega," chuckled Cortez, stepping aside to reveal Terra limping into view from the cockpit.

It was a scene Kaidan would never forget as his life was returned to him whole.

Her hair was plastered to her face, and pain had etched itself in those warm eyes, but Kaidan thought Terra had never looked more beautiful. Her stunning smile swiftly turned to happy laughter that lifted him instantly. His arms were already waiting for her as she launched herself at him. The solidness of her confirmed she was real, and her scent was exhilarating. All Kaidan could do was embrace her tightly, holding her off the ground because he'd noticed that limp, his face turned into hers not only to enjoy her closeness, but to hide the emotion he couldn't quite contain. Their friends had encircled them, laughing in relief and euphoria, waiting to give her their own appreciation too, but Kaidan couldn't let Terra go – he just wasn't ready yet - and for her part, her arms were clamped around his neck.

"I'm so sorry I scared you." Her hushed tone trembled into his ear.

"You're here. That's all that matters," he returned. Then he had to kiss her, happy to take the cheers and jibes around him for the chance to savour his wife. Never had she tasted sweeter.

When they came up for air, Kaidan finally loosened his grip, satisfied with the reunion, and Terra was finally able to accept her waiting family, though like him, she kept one arm firmly in place; they wouldn't be parted any time soon.

Garrus was talking to someone on his omnitool. "Worry no more, Liara. We've got them. All of them."

"Thank the Goddess. I will let Joker know. He will be so happy."

"We all are."

"Yes!" Liara suddenly broke out in laughter. "I cannot believe she did it! Shepard never ceases to amaze me."

"Ditto. Really must remind her it's not good for our hearts, though." Garrus gave Shepard a pointed look.

"Tell her I will catch up with her on the Citadel."

"Got the message," responded Terra when Garrus hung up.

"Taking cover inside the enemy?" grinned Wrex in approval. "Now that's going to be one legendary tale."

"We were starting to think we were never getting out of there," admitted Adams. "Shepard kept faith that you'd work it out though, General."

"Eventually," replied Kaidan.

"All of you techies on board and you couldn't just give us a call?" ribbed James.

"Tried," said Cortez. "The impact tore off our communications array, and our omnitools couldn't breach…our environment." He shuddered. "The Leviathans are freaky."

"Deep analysis," quipped Garrus.

"Massani even got desperate enough to try opening the hatch in the hope that it would remove one less barrier for our signals to bypass. Didn't make a bit of difference."

"Other than to stink the shuttle out," grimaced Adams.

"Thought nothing could smell worse than the inside of a krogan," scowled Massani from where he sat on a crate – the insider looking in; not that he was bothered.

The two krogan amongst them gave evil chuckles, like it was another carefully engineered weapon they used as a final 'up yours'.

"You have to tell us how you got outta there, Lola," gushed James.

"That'll have to wait, Vega," stated Kaidan, categorically. "Shepard needs to get to medbay." He was expecting the groan of displeasure from her, and it buoyed his mood further that things felt normal again.

"Have mercy," Terra begged. "I survived all that only to be forced into a bed!? Where's the justice?"

"Now who's the drama queen?" Kaidan looked down to assess her injury for himself and nearly swore when he saw the state of the crumpled armour over her knee. Though it hadn't breached, it was so indented her knee-cap had to be completely shattered beneath it. "Terra, for Christ's sake! That's got to be agony!"

"Pretty sure I've suffered worse," she shrugged, but she made the mistake of shifting onto it and instantly inhaled involuntarily, tears filling her eyes. "Okay. I'll surrender."

Moving her arm to drape across his shoulders, and with his arm securely around her waist, Kaidan took Terra's weight off the knee so she could still make her way upright out of the bay without needing to use her damaged leg.

"I'll give it an hour and come bust you out of there, little sister," vowed Wrex as Kaidan began leading her out.

"Thanks bro," Terra called back.

"And I'll make sure he can't get anywhere near the medbay," added Garrus.

"Traitor," she pouted.

"Hey, I'm the best friend you've got. Proper treatment means you'll be up and running sooner."

"Can't argue with that," reasoned Kaidan, to which he was rewarded with an eye-roll. It felt good to be able to laugh.

It was then Terra was distracted, and following her gaze, Kaidan saw Jack leaning against the wall, hands clamped over the top of her head so her elbows were skyward, looking stricken. Knowing Terra would never rest until Jack was reassured, Kaidan adjusted their course.

"Jack?"

The hands dropped like someone had suddenly added heavy weights to them, and the Jack's dark eyes were glistening. "You made it."

"I made it." Terra spoke with such softness.

Kaidan wasn't sure what would come next with Jack; she had unconventional ways of demonstrating her affection. He was prepared to block a punch.

"Stupid bitch." Jack lurched forward and hugged Terra fiercely. It wasn't a brief contact, but Terra waited it out, giving Jack what she needed to be reassured, no matter the strain from the extra weight that was pushing her back on her ruined knee. Then Jack abruptly let her go, able to give a smile, James taking her hand to show her he was there for her too. "You do some fucked up shit, Shepard. I should have been there for the epic showdown. Sounds right up my street."

"I dunno," frowned James, looking disturbed. "A ship full of rachni?"

Terra's gasp made Kaidan clutch her tighter.

"The egg!"

"Don't worry," said Adams, disappearing inside the shuttle and re-emerging with the egg, fully intact. "When we started heading back to the ship I set up a small containment field around it inside a storage compartment in the cockpit. It was more secured than we were." He handed it to Shepard.

"Thank God. We have to keep her safe until she hatches."

"I could look after the last rachni queen for you," Wrex said, but he had a glint of mischief in his eye.

"Right," drawled Terra, then passed it to Garrus. "The fate of a race now rests in your hands, Garrus Vakarian."

"So...don't drop it – got it. No pressure," frowned Garrus, holding it out like it was a grenade. "Uh, we're not hatching it on the Citadel, right? Because as Executor I should probably take issue with that."

"Hadn't thought about it," Terra faltered.

"Can't we just drop it off on their home planet?"

"The rachni still there would be as dangerous as those we found on Noveria without their queen's voice to guide them."

"We'll think of something," vowed Kaidan. "Later." There was one person glaringly absent and it bothered Kaidan greatly. "Think you can stand to make one more stop before the medbay?"

Terra didn't take long to work out why as she looked around at the people surrounding them, her brow creasing even further as concern over-ruled pain. "Absolutely."

O

"Ma'am, we've been unable to get a response from Admiral Hackett for some time. He's blocked the comm line to his cabin, and he's not answering his door or our calls to his omnitool."

Terra exchanged a worried glance with Kaidan as the equally concerned lieutenant updated her. "Thank you. Leave it with me." Her knee was in such agony she was getting light-headed, but her father's well-being was more important to her than the notion she might faint. Besides, Kaidan was right there to catch her; the reassuring pressure of his supportive arm made her feel almost as giddy. Their future was open to them again.

At Hackett's cabin door, Terra quickly hacked the lock. It opened to reveal her father in the centre of the room, his back to her, on his knees and his head bowed, and she nearly cried at the sight of him looking so broken. With Kaidan's help she made her way over, and despite his quiet protest, she lowered herself to her good knee, the other stretched out to the side like it had been placed in time-out for misbehaviour.

Now directly behind her father, she wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. "Daddy?"

He began shaking in her arms, and Terra knew he was crying, his hands reaching up to grip her arm, her head. She just held him, whispering her apologies as she had with Kaidan, knowing her antics had pushed him too far this time.

"I'd given up," he admitted. "It was too like before. Too like your mother's death. I was so sure that it was too much to hope for; that you couldn't possibly come back from that. Not again. But I underestimated you."

"Like a cat with nine lives, me," she said lightly.

"You surpassed nine a long time ago," Hackett laughed softly. He then got to his feet while Kaidan had to help her to hers so she was ready to be hugged by her father. "I've let the 'Admiral' slip in front of my crew. They won't be able to look at me the same way again."

"They just know the truth now: that you're human after all," Terra smiled.

"Not the way I usually run things, but I guess I'll have to adapt." He squeezed her tighter. "Have I ever told you you're sending me into an early grave?"

"Ah. I think you have," she winced. "Sorry?"

"Part of being a parent I suppose," he sighed. "Hardest job ever. It gives me some small satisfaction to know you've got it all coming to you too, though."

Both Terra and Kaidan groaned at that. Then Terra caught her husband's loving eye and neither of them could stop the big affectionate, knowing smiles that passed between them. With any luck, they'd soon have double the trouble. "Bring it on."

oOo