Hi, long time no see. I haven't been doing well medically in the past year as you can tell with my infrequent updating. Even though I've been diagnosed with depression and anemia, please empathize with me. I'm trying, I promise. I hate to not update. It's not me. So please bear with me. I'll finish this story and I'll try to do it in a timely manner. I hope it's not too much to ask. Thank you. Lastly, I hope everyone had a happy filling and fulfilling Thanksgiving ^.^

Sort of Unbeta'd.

May 10

CH11: The Bloody Mile

Naruto had completed the state testing for the completion of freshman year at the nearby community college. Drudging through the hallways was a task meant for the Mongolians. The weakness from the blood loss, from the required blood transfusion, left him like a small weakling. He tried to concentrate, rely completely on his mental ability, independent of emotion. He just called every detail of the academic classes that he had thoroughly perused on his personal laptop from mid-pregnancy until its conclusion. After he completed the exams, some weeks ago, he and Sasuke had been visiting two emotional continents. There was nothing between them. No words. Not a glance. Nothing. Now was the best time to exchange their impressions of the new life that was chosen for them. After he completed his testing near the local college, they hadn't shared much of anything. Not a word, not a glance.

Regrettably, they were drifting like rafts in the infinite black sea, intercrossing at times but never connecting. Naruto panicked. Fearing that if he took a single step in the wrong direction, he would propel them into a never-ending downward spiral. On the other landmass, Sasuke was trying hard to prevent their imminent destruction on a day by day basis. Every afternoon, like clockwork his seraphic aura walked in with a withdrawn smile and usually some sweet gesture, whether it be a small dessert or a small trinket that he thought that Naruto would enjoy.

Naruto was appreciative, he really was, but there was a limited amount of times he could give gratitude, before he gave the impression he was entitled to such kindness. Each time he accepted his gifts, he felt selfish and even more confused. How was he supposed to just be…normal?

Average 15 year olds were supposed to be concerned about the nature of their social lives, the outcome of their school work, and the prospects of getting into a great college. But they weren't as privileged to experience such a bout of normality. Their daring and Sasuke's challenge was to just survive one afternoon under their parent's roof in one metaphorical piece. After what they did to them and their daughter, there was no way they could go about being normal. Just worrying about what normal teenagers did.

Everything that he said, everything that he did would be doused with the memory of Serenity, his first and only daughter.

He couldn't just impractically conduct his life in the unyielding manner as he had before. There was no way he could go through this pain again.

"What did you say you wanted to talk about?" Sasuke asked with solicitude. His ashy eyes, lily-white skin and godly perfect features charmed Naruto to express what was currently stirring in his mind. Preoccupied with the beautiful knockout, he summoned the will, careful not to stammer over his words.

"Um, something important," Naruto mumbled almost silently, high contrasted quantum eyes that appeared to be glazed over with high spring sun. But when Sasuke looked again it was apparent that it wasn't the reflection of the excess sunlight pouring in, it was newly forming tears.

Glancing back at his boyfriend, Naruto sighed, straightening his spine. "Y'know I love you, right?"

Knowing that a bombshell was approaching, Sasuke didn't move an inch on the bed, not a hair flicking, not a breath stirring. He need not respond with the like. Naruto knew exactly where they stood and how much emotion he felt for him, not just love alone.

With that stunning information, Naruto proceeded, squeezing Sasuke's hand for courage.

"I've been thinking, um, that, I don't want to try again."

Feeling like a samurai sword sliced his heart clear in two, Sasuke managed to remain deathly still, allowing the expressive blond to finish.

"I would f-feel like we're trying to replace h-her and… I don't want to ever feel like I'm trying to do that." An unsteady fountain of tears swamped Naruto's scarlet cheeks, his nails scraped Sasuke's perspiring palms. Guilt immersed him in a world of self-loathing as he consumed the look on Sasuke's face. An unimaginable strain of hurt that had no known cure exhibited in its true form. He was a bad boyfriend—no, a bad human being for having his mouth piloting such heinous actions.

Soul splitting in two, mouth ajar, he crumbled to smithereens as translated what Naruto said into clearer terms: 'I don't want to have any more children with you.'

With an edge cutting sob, Naruto went on, "If you don't want to be with me anymore or in the future," Naruto paused, sniffling. "I'll unders-stand."

Sasuke weakly smiled as his delayed body finally kicked into gear. "If you don't want to have kids in the future, then I'll respect your wishes," Sasuke muttered, love sheathing his tone, callous hands carefully cradling his lover's wet, warm cheeks. "As long as I have you, I don't care."

Pressing his forehead against Naruto's, he embraced him tightly, knowing that that this was exactly what he needed. He shut his eyes, locking away the sharp ache festering in his chest. He couldn't be sad. He didn't have the right to be sad. He loved Naruto and he had no problem sacrificing for him, even if it meant giving up the one thing he wanted the most in the world, a family. Their own family. Naruto was worth that.

"I'm s-sorry, baby. I just can't—I know I'm being selfish and I know, I—" Sasuke instantly soothed him into silence, ruling his explanation moot.

"You don't need to justify your emotions. I know. I know." Sasuke stroked the frizzy dandelion hair with adoration, accepting the challenge of depriving himself of his life's dream, knowing that it was going to be like strolling through hell's eternal flames. Swallowing every reservation, he knew it would be worth it in the end.

Naruto cried—wishing Sasuke had accepted his ticket to freedom because he knew that he would never be enough.

…

Naruto knew that one day that Sasuke prove that he could be a better father than his ever was. He knew that Sasuke loved him so much, he literally dreamed of the combination of their miniature counterparts skittering a lushly vibrant emerald lawn. Creating something with him that was part him. The usually restrained boy didn't have to utter a word. The account of his dream rehearsed on the coat of his expression when they mentioned their future and lived on the plane of his pupils when he gazed on their eyes.

He didn't want to be accused of giving up on them but he knew when to scream uncle. Their parents were a major component to their ruination. They were determined to drag them to a screeching halt.

…

May 11

Sasuke's heritage was revered by the community. He was gifted in the most important areas known to man. Academically savvy, aesthetically pleasing, exceptionably privileged, societally flexible, and exceptionably articulate. Everything the common man yearned to be. Only striving for the best—highest grades, the biggest football scores, and the most successful relationship. By popular belief, he was flawless and so was his life. But nothing was further from the truth. Apparently, these innate assets led to the road to the happiness but the truth was these advantages pertained to happiness. If anything, the Uchiha name masked his ability to feel such an emotion, god forbid prevented it.

At times, the expectations and his image were too burdensome to tote. He felt smothered while forced into a shadow of an impression he couldn't quite duplicate.

With a gilded life, money and power constantly eclipsing the dysfunction of his family, he hypothesized if Los Angeles journalist publically dissected it, the public would be horrified. Reckless fights, dangerous disagreements, and life-altering decisions, would come exposed to the judgmental microscope. It was a game of battleships and somehow his floating device always sunk under the brutal waters.

His bruised knuckles were tired of the never-ending war.

Under these extenuating circumstances, he wished he could assume a different identity. He wished he could have a name that didn't come with all the connotations of constrained success. Naruto would too. Then they would steal Serenity and run away into the sunset.

He just wanted to share their loving relationship with his daughter and be the best parents they could possibly be.

Unfortunately, the stigma that the teenagers weren't able to be parents butchered his argument every single time. He would be tarnishing the accomplishments his family had made for themselves since they emigrated from Tokyo, Japan. With their engrained morals of education and age appropriate romances, they didn't favor their accepted change of philosophy. Supposedly American culture was altering their values and modifying their lens on an honorable lifestyle. Abdicating the ideology of a small family, he threw in the towel to his rebellious dreams. They just weren't feasible at this point.

His father didn't comprehend it was more complex than just two young adults creating another human being. It was outside the limits of a basic biology lesson and an ethic grasp. He didn't give a fuck about money or power, or his stupid image. He just wanted Naruto and his newborn baby. It wasn't rocket science. That depraved monster just made it seem like it was.

To prevent fulmination, Sasuke sat on the edge of Naruto's bed waiting for him to return home. Yesterday in preparation, he jetted downtown to purchase an adornment for today's occasion, Mother's Day. It was imperative he give Naruto the glorious maternal pendant in conjunction with a specially designed cake to accomplish the undulating task of making Naruto smile, at least talk, considering he hadn't breathed a word in days. It probably wouldn't be easy but he had to at least try. If he didn't do that he would be surrendering his ambition to care for his special lover.

The blond refused to eat. As result, he barely slept anymore. His caustic nightmares ripped the hope of sleep from his petrified blue eyes. He didn't take his blood thinning medication nor his painkillers for his healing Cesarean scar. Inconsolable at the core, Sasuke couldn't find the proper words to break through to Naruto. Even coming from him, there was nothing he could say that would improve their situation.

He couldn't get Serenity back. He couldn't promise that they would see her again. He couldn't promise that they would be normal again.

Wilting to the torture of the hell of a chasm, Sasuke waited, waited for Naruto to return to him.

…

Sitting in the stool he associated with the summer of '08, he casually perfected disguising his misery with measured talents, pouring it over his straightened profile. He needed an outlet from all the horror of his life. He was here to work, grief aside. He auspiciously avoided Sasuke, figuring he would prevent him from coming here just because of his mental and his physical condition. Sasuke would have a legitimate argument to make. His hair appeared like he walked out the savage wilderness. His routinely olive flesh was rugged with the wear of fatigue and thin body was visually deprived of succulent nutrients. He wasn't concerned about his health or his appearance to this judgmental society. He was more concerned about who was handling, feeding, tending to his beautiful daughter. Was it some psychotic psychopath with a taste for blood? Or was it a tender, mirthful family that could provide a more stable atmosphere than his erratic, dysfunctional family could?

He couldn't fathom… how his baby was doing.

And it was killing him.

This load was a burden that he couldn't carry anymore.

Looking at the fine China teacups china cased across the narrow isle, Naruto felt like he was cornered in a different definition placed on his value, in an unordinary dimension. The last time he looked at these antiques, he and Sasuke were at their peak, joined at the hip. Now, everything was the flipped, like some alternate universe.

"Hey, squirt!" Tsunade called smugly from the back room.

Naruto attempted a smile but failed miserably. Thankfully, the older woman didn't notice his unsuccessful gesture. She approached him all the same, a subtle smile that sparked a bundle of dynamite embedded in his heart.

"You didn't tell me you were coming in," She mused out loud with a frown.

"Well, I thought I should be spontaneous since you know it is one of my redeeming qualities," he stiffly muttered, his nails raking insistently at the back of his hands, thinking that he might have bitten off more than he could chew.

She laid her manicured hand on the counter, absorbing Naruto's disastrous appearance as a basic thought zipped through her head. "Where's that little bambino?"

He tried to keep his mouth sealed and just avoid letting his composure rot. If he held everything together with a tiny red string, he wouldn't fall apart. He wouldn'twouldn'twouldn't—but still he cracked under the pressure.

"I—I gave her up for adoption," Naruto confessed, shielding his mouth from the cutting sob that wracked his body. Soul dying, heart torn into pieces, he felt the torrid cataract of tears enshroud his face.

God, he never felt more stupid in his life. Stupid for breaking down and crying like a feminine little wimp that couldn't handle the reality of his pain. Stupid for thinking he was ready to handle the contact with other people. Stupid for ever thinking that he could be happy. Stupid for thinking his family would ever let him be happy. Stupid for everything.

Tsunade hastily made it to the counter. "Naruto, I don't think that you should be here. Go home," Her voice was low and critical as she spoke to Naruto as he pressed himself to compose his reaction about his daughter. "When you're ready to talk about it, we will," Tsunade whispered compassionately. Hearing but only able to nod, Naruto slipped from his elevated stool, not expecting to run into her arms. In the safety of her arms, he heard her utter something of rare proportion. "Never forget that I love you, kid."

Naruto only cried harder. "I l-love y-you too."

…

Naruto got on the road, waiting for his driving to pick him up on the corner of the nearest avenue. In the meantime, he felt blood gurgle behind his eyes, weights drag down his limbs. He was so drained, of vitality of life. In a span of year, he felt like his body had aged an entire 20 years.

The gentle breeze shoved his hair ruthlessly to one side, the sun steeping his eyes. He had called his personal driver approximately ten minutes ago but he wasn't one to rush the help. He knew it was a pivotal time in the day when traffic was at its peak. The congestion on the downtown roads explained his usually inexcusable tardiness. It didn't matter really. It's not like he was in any hurry to run back to the pool house. He knew Sasuke would be waiting for him, something he wasn't really looking forward to.

As he was swallowed by the busy streets, herded by drifting pedestrians, a familiar face made itself known in shot's distance, Sakura Haruno. The daughter of Insurance Corporate businessman Kizashi Haruno and beauty consultant, Mebuki Haruno, was the supreme version of the expression "triple threat." She was considered beautiful, intelligent, and exceptionally athletic. Being the track star of their district, she was wildly popular at school, arguably the most revered and most sought after girl on the entire campus. Always dressed to impress in the most expensive wear, decked in light, mature make-up, she was nothing short of booshie. With her parent's invaluable money and power, she could gain her anything she wanted within reason, if she couldn't already obtain it with a flick of her wrist.

Compared to him, she was usually the student body's favorite to win Sasuke's heart. In a foolish Valentine Day's poll, they were even voted ideal couple by the student body. While he tried not to take it personally, it still irritated him to know that people thought she was more deserving of Sasuke than he was. Everyone knew that she apparently had a crush on Sasuke since they were in middle school making the "story" much more captivating fairytale in their eyes.

He didn't hate her for her shallow feelings but he didn't ignore it either. She was just one of the girls that he feared had the potential to make Sasuke's attention sway.

In her tight Vera Wang number, her hips animatedly swayed as she approached him, his emerald gaze already spotting him on the street.

With a cold smile that never reached her eyes, she poised her hand on her hip, repetitiously tapping her Chloe heals on the smoothly paved sidewalk, and cocked her head, staring at Naruto like he had grown a second head.

"Sakura," Naruto politely said, trying to hide the hostile attitude that threatened to surface. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know, mother's day. Looking for the most spectacular present, for my lovely mother. Because she deserves the best after all." He doubted she could purchase anything of monetary value that her mother didn't already own but he digressed to his mother. Quickly, his train of thought was derailed at Sakura's languishing grin.

"Speaking of whereabouts, where have you been the past few months, Naruto?" She said bitterly, her tone forging a wedge in the decency they tried to formerly have with one another despite the bad blood they harbored over Sasuke.

Naruto nearly answered but she didn't even give him the chance. "Just one day you're here and then you're not. You just leave Sasuke at school and drop off the face of the earth, to God knows where. What kind of boyfriend does that?" She asked offensively. Of course naturally, she didn't know the situation, nor did she regard her lack of details with merit. She wasn't aware that he was pregnant or that his parents hated the idea of them sharing something so "permanent" or that they tried to cover it up by withdrawing him or that he had the baby, held her, loved her, kissed her, then gave her up for adoption or or or—

Her laugh was so cruel, demeaning. "At this point, it didn't even matter where you went. All that matters is that you," she pointed to him, "left."

Traumatized, Naruto stood trembling, eyes looking like the twin sets of Neptune, mirroring the cloudy, noxious sapphire gases.

"Why don't you just give it up? Let Sasuke be happy with someone else." Naruto knew she didn't mean anyone, she meant her. "Someone he can actually have a family with."

Scoffing, in a blur of tears, he saw her shake her head and leave as fast as she came.

She was right. She was fucking right. He should give Sasuke up to someone who would give him happiness, not take it from him. He already told Sasuke wouldn't—couldn't have a family with him because he was damaged.

Choking up, exploding into a new fit of tears, Naruto didn't realize it was only three minutes until his driver arrived on the corner of 27th.

…

Naruto slunk through the master bedroom, flagging every nerve in Sasuke's body with his unceasing crying. The dark haired boy came to his side as expected and it made Naruto cry even harder. Why was here? Why didn't he just leave him already? Hadn't he had enough?

Through his fuzzy vision, he saw he his beautiful face smeared with concern and slight anger toward the source of his pain. Love. Naruto also saw love.

"Naruto, what happened?"

He wiped his face as Sasuke's firmly handled his shoulders.

With a strong sob, he shook his head, wishing it would drive Sasuke from asking because he couldn't tell him what Sakura said.

He just couldn't tell him…

That he finally loved him enough to let him go…

/Chapter11End.

Well, shucks, if you could leave me a review, I would appreciate it. Love to all my readers, thanks for everything. –Kiss—