A/N: *Waves* Still with me? Here's today's chapter – hope you enjoy it. I do not own TVD – sad face. Thanks for reviews as ever and thank you to the guest who left me that lovely review - I'm super glad to be of service! On with the show.

A Few Good Men

"I focus on the pain – the only thing that's real
Try to kill it all away – But I remember everything
Everyone I know goes away in the end
And you could have it all; My empire of dirt
I will let you down; I will make you hurt"

College girls. Mmm. Tasty blood. Alcohol. Go 'way Stefan, don't wanna talk.

Baby brother is worried about me. How...friendly. Me? I'm fine. Abso-fuckin'-lutely fine; why wouldn't I be fine? I spent 145 years obsessing over a woman, trying to save a woman who didn't need to be saved. A woman who "didn't care". Yeah. I'm fucking fine.

"It's so liberating not having a master plan because I can do whatever the hell I want" and what I want is to drink and feed and fuck until I forget. Until there is nothing left of me.

Stefan thinks I'm going to lose it – rip some hearts out, some heads off – but nope, no siree that's not my intention. I haven't killed anyone in...a long time. Don't plan to change that anytime soon. Time to find out what he wants so I can get back to my college girl party.

"There was a woman you may have known...her name was Isobel" – are you serious? He wants to talk about this; now?

"You killed her" – shocking! Actually I didn't – well – technically I did. Whatever. What's the point here again, I'm lost. He wants to know if I remember anything about her. It's 'important'.

Nuh-uh. Nothing is important. Not anymore. And I'm done; time to exploit some women in the name of grief. Buh-bye Stefan.

Isobel, I wonder where that's coming from. I can't get back in the party mood after Buzzkill Bob stopped by to name drop Isobel so I've come to the Grill. Gets me out of the house at least – the teacher's here – definitely something funny about that guy.

And now Liz needs a favour, well it's been a month for that. Allegedly I'm an 'eligible bachelor'. I don't even know if I can say eligible right now. Still "a room full of women clamouring to win a date with me...sounds tasty" women...yes. Make me forget. Good plan Salvatore. Favours breed favours and Liz is the sheriff so I ask her to check into the teacher for me. One last drink and I'm heading home – suppose it's best if look the part of 'eligible' bachelor instead of local town drunk.

Elena's here. "Stefan?" – "better" – me! "Do you know that I am one of Mystic Falls' most eligible bachelors?" Oh look at that, I said it! I think. Pretty sure I got that right.

"How are you doing?" – "Never better, what can I do for ya, I'm a barrel of favours today" – it's my newfound purpose – how can I help people? I suppose it's better than ripping hearts out. God I can't do this shirt it's...broken or something. A little help please 'Lena?

Maybe it's because I'm 'wrecked' but there is something unbelievably sexy about Elena buttoning up my shirt. Wait, she's talking. Important Damon, focus, listen. Birth mom.

"Who cares? She left you. She sucks" Enter Stefan. Impeccable timing as ever brother.

"Where'd our girlfriend go?" I ask Stefan when I'm downstairs ready to leave "she's on her way to the grill" Wow. Didn't even get a raised eyebrow out of him – sad face. Ah. Isobel again, what is with the Isobel talk today? Where's this coming from. I tell Stefan I don't know her and go to the fundraiser. Find Mrs. Mayor and try to convince her to rig the competition. Liz says the teacher checks out.

Isobel. There's the connection. She was the teacher's wife. What game is Stefan playing here?

There's a short introduction bit at the bachelor raffle so I figure I may as well torment the teacher a little bit – "Like to travel?" Mrs. Mayor asks me– "Oh yeah, LA, NY, couple of years ago I was in North Caroline, near the duke campus actually"...hook...line..."I know your wife did...yeah...I had a drink with her once, she was a great girl. She was...delicious" sinker.

He looks like he wants to murder me, that was fun!

Wow, I wasn't expecting to literally bump into Elena...has she been crying? What happened? Who hurt her?

"Did you enjoy that? Rubbing it in to Alaric Saltzman?" Wait...what?

"Just as I was starting to think there was something redeemable about you" She was?

"'Lena" Stefan – what the hell? Will someone please tell me what is going on here?

"Did I forget to mention earlier when we were talking about my birth mother...?" I see where this is going and I don't like it. I don't like it one little bit.

"...the one that gave me up. Her name was Isobel" Yup. Called that. Shit.

"Go ahead. Reminisce about how you killed her" shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. And she's crying. And it was me. I hurt her. Stupid, stupid, stupid Damon. Isobel was her mom. How is that even...will there ever come a time when I manage to not monumentally screw up the only good thing in my life?

I finally get home to have a drink in peace and try and sort my head out and consider how to fix another epic screw up in the life of Damon Salvatore only to find a history teacher with a death wish. I mean I know I said I wasn't planning on killing anyone else anytime soon but he is kinda asking for it. Fighting normally makes me feel better anyway.

"Where's Isobel? What have you done to my wife?" – Oh come on. You're a big boy surely you can work it out. "I turned her" you idiot "she came to me all pathetic, looking for vampires". I liked Isobel. I turned her because she was desperate. Begged me; this guy is an idiot. Why does he think he can beat me? Kill me? Even at my drunkest he wouldn't have a hope in hell.

It's a shame really. We are kindred spirits. Abandoned by the women we loved. Shame.

Stefan's back.

"What did you do?" Which time? Oh, the dead guy. Yeah he came after me. Self-defence, "All I did was tell him the truth – his wife didn't want him anymore" Isobel came to me. She's related to Elena, both related to Katherine. Can't be a coincidence.

"You don't have to keep looking" I leave Stefan to deal with the teacher while I consider the facts. My brother's right. I don't have to keep looking, and I don't really plan to. There's just something I'd like to know, that's all.

I was wrong this morning; I said that I wasn't going to kill anyone else anytime soon and I just killed the teacher. That one's not really on me though. But I also said that nothing is important, not anymore. I was wrong about that; Elena is important. And now she's upset and that one is all on me. I'm a dick.

Dear Diary,
I talked to Jenna about Isobel, she'd found an address for a woman named Trudi Peterson who was friends with Isobel. I wasn't planning on going...but I did. It just sort of happened. She knows about vampires, she didn't invite me in the house and she served vervain tea. She said she doesn't know who my father is but I'm not sure if I believed her. She made me leave when I confronted her about the vervain and there was a man watching me when I left.

I was so worried about Damon and I felt so sorry for him. Stefan said that he was 'dealing in his own way' whatever that means. Not sure I want to know to be honest. I went to the house looking for Stefan when I came back and found a rather drunk half-naked Damon instead. He said that it didn't matter who my birth mom was because she sucked for leaving me which is kinda sweet. Or at least it was. At the time.

Isobel was Alaric's wife – Stefan told me that Isobel was killed by a vampire. Damon. Damon killed her. Damon killed my MOTHER. Except...Isobel is alive. Sort of. Damon didn't kill her. Well he did. I mean, she's a vampire. Damon turned my mother. God it's all so complicated.

I was feeling sorry for him. I am so stupid! I was so angry at Damon, so hurt, let down...just...a hundred emotions all at once. And then the man was there again at the Grill. The man who had been watching me earlier; he said I have a message for you. Stop looking. She doesn't want to know you. She doesn't want to talk to you. You need to stop looking. Do you understand? He was compelled, to give me the message and then KILL himself.

I took his phone...I called her but she hung up the phone.

I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel about all of this. How I'm supposed to feel about Isobel. About Damon. I've never met someone who can make me feel so many different things all at one time, I feel desperately sad for him, I want to build on what we have, but I'm angry at him, I'm hurt, I'm...conflicted and confused. Insanely confused...I think I just need to avoid him for a few days because otherwise I will probably end up doing or saying something I regret.
Elena

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