EPIC RAP BATTLES OF RWBY!
NORA VALKYRIE
VS
WEISS SCHNEE
BEGIN!
Nora
"What up, heiress! It's me, the Valkyrie!
Everyone's favorite character in the whole series
I was fun from the start while you're the white witch
Let me go to the kitchen and make a sandwich
Cause you should eat something, girl, look you're so thin
And you'd probably burn in the sun with your pale white skin
And what's with your hair, are you like an albino?
Are you too good for this? Well I'm saying NO!
Go ahead and pull out your tiny little sword
Put that against Magnhild and we'll all just get bored
I could beat you with my fist till your mush on the ground
But I'd rather break your legs when I put the hammer down
You act like a princess, I think it's time for a coup
I could blow you away with a single BOOP!
I'm from Valhalla, down with Odin and Thor
It's right in my name, I'm inherently Norse
I heard about your "difficult childhood", but I thought you were rich
All you want is some love, and yet you act like a *rhymes with snitch*
The entire fanbase just wants to fork ya
Now I ride into the sunset on the back of my Norca!"
Weiss
"...Screw this. Your insane."
Ruby pops into the scene. "Weiss? Weiss, where you going? Wait! You have to fight back! Those are the rules!"
Yang walks in behind Ruby. "Yeah, I think this battle is over. Nora left too."
Ruby sniffles. "But it's supposed to be two whole verses per person..."
"Well, maybe you should have made sure that the people you chose for it both knew the rules and actually wanted to battle." Yang shrugs. "Besides, who wants to hear Weiss try to rap anyways?"
Ruby nods. "Yeah, I guess you're right." And they walked off together, trying to figure out how to make a better rap battle.
Blake enters the scene and breaks the fourth wall, talking to the audience. "That is a good question though. How many of our readers do want to hear Weiss rap?"
BONUS ROUND!
JAUNE ARC
VS
DEATH STALKER
BEGIN
Jaune
"Wait, what!?"
Jaune finds himself facing the giant Grimm scorpion. The Death Stalker looks down at him. "What up, little chicken? You wanna step to me, I'ma bust a stinger in yo scrawny white boy tushy."
Jaune promptly faints.