Prom was a month away. All I saw Quinn Fabray walking around and nearly begging people to vote for her as prom queen. I was hoping she would win, she looked like the girl who goes to high school only to become prom queen and then brag about it until she turns forty and her children finally tell her it's enough. I would never want to be prom queen. I wouldn't even go to prom, not at this school, if it wasn't for my friends. Mercedes and Rachel especially, insisted. I had to go. Otherwise I was "boring".

Two weeks ago Quinn swore she would get back at me for kicking her ass. She hadn't laid a finger on me ever since, which I thank God for, she'll lose the hand she touches me with next if she tries to physically hurt me ever again. My ribs were still sore after our fight, not as much as before but they were. The school nurse had given me a lotion that actually helped a lot. My gutshot wasn't as painful from the start so the pain from that area moved quickly.

I looked for them, my friends, before going to class. And finally, they found me. I heard someone shout my name and I looked back. Behind me stood Tina and Rachel. I remembered we were going out later today. I had to let them down, I promised my mother last week that I would go shopping with her. I had forgotten about it, that's why I thanked yes to Rachel's offer about going with them to Manhattan. I had no idea what they were going to do there but I guessed I'd rather do that than stay inside alone. However, the plans changed for me when I recalled the plans I had made with my mom.

Last period went really fast. I stumbled through the last lessons until it was time to get home, my mother was already waiting outside. Of course, when it was time for her to get herself stuff, she was right on time. Sometimes I was just too much like my mother. It wasn't hard to notice who taught me what I know.

"Mom, seriously I'm not hungry" I tried to insist as my mother ignored me and parked the car outside the restaurant.

"Well I am" she said.

She walked to the door of the restaurant and held it open with a determined look on her face. Obviously, I had no say in this so I just went with it without arguing about it anymore. I walked in front of her into the chinese place with a sigh silently leaving my breath. The restaurant was kind of crowded - it looked like a popular place. The host was a dark haired guy with green eyes, probably some years older than me, wearing a white shirt tucked into his black pants. I understood the look in his eyes as he assessed me. He was a little more welcoming than neccessary. I was amazed by how much his cheeky presence bothered me.

"A table for two?" his voice allured.

"Yes, thank you" my mother politely smiled.

He led us to a table big enough for a whole family even though we agreed on a table for two. It was in the middle of the most crowded area of the restaurant.

"Is this okay? It's crowded, as you can see" he flashed his smile pointed at me.

"No problem" mother happily said as she watched him stare at me without even picking on what she answered "are you finding anything you like?" she sarcastically asked to catch his attention again.

"Yeah um, " he cleared his throat "your server will be here in a moment" he said and unsteadily walked away.

"What the hell was his problem" I laughed.

"I think he got a little crush on you," my mother joked "didn't you notice how he tried to talk to you all the time instead of me. I noticed directly when we walked in that he found you interesting"

The good thing about me and my mother was that we can talk about stuff like this without it getting awkward. We have that kind of connection and it's not hard for us to talk, we always find something interesting to say to each other. My dad on the other hand, would be rude to the host if he noticed his flirty ways towards me. He thinks I'm too young for dating or flirting with people even though I'm 17. I always tell him to come see other girls my age - he'd get a heart attack.

"You shouldn't do that to people" I criticized with laughter hidden in my voice.

"Do what?"

"He was already nervous, the poor guy. I bet you my life he's probably hyperventilating somewhere in the corners of this place right now"

I watched my mother in front of me laugh about at my pale joke.

"Well, I need to protect my daughter from staring boys like that. There can't be anything good wandering their minds if they can't turn away," she smiled "are there any boys you like at your school? Or girls?''

"Come on" I said. "You know I would tell you if I liked someone, mom"

"I hope so," she looked away at the staff door for a moment to see if the waiter or waitress would be here soon "I would want to know what type of person my daughter likes before I can approve"

"Don't worry"

And right after that our waitress finally arrived. Even though I wasn't hungry before, sitting here made me hungry so I decided to eat something anyway. It was obvious she had been doing dishes or something back in the kitchen. She flipped the red fringe behind so it wouldn't bother her while communicating with us.

"Hello, my name is Aubry and I'll be your waitress this evening. Are you ready to order or should I come back in a while?"

"We're ready, or I am - what about you Santana?"

"Sure"

"What will it be?" she asked with what looked like a forced smile on her lips.

"I'll have the egg noodles with vegetables"

"I want the beef noodles, skip the onions" I ordered.

"Of course, let me know if there's anything else" the coy smile on her lips was still there. We smiled back and she left into the kitchen to give the cooks our orders.

About fifteen minutes later she returned with our plates. I took the fork and started eating immidietly. My mom exchanged some words with the waitress and started eating after she left.

"I thought you weren't hungry?"

"Me too, I guess I was"

"How are the people in your school treating you?," she asked and took her second bite of the food. "This is really good" she said, ignoring her first question.

"They're nice" I answered anyway.

"Are you sure? Somedays you come home and you don't even talk to us, you just march right into your room" her face turned into a sad and sympatetic look that made me feel depressed "do you have friends? Are they being nice to you?" she asked again.

"Mom, mom" I said "calm down, will you? I have like three friends, they're really nice. Don't worry" I assured her "don't you remember I went out with them to the movies and stuff not so long ago?"

"Right, right" she smiled, still with a smouldering look on her face "I'm just worried - I know we pulled you away from all your friends. I just want you to like it here"

"I'll get there, don't worry about me"

The weekend went really fast, it felt like I didn't even blink twice and it was already Sunday night. I got ready for bed by washing my face, my teeth and changing into anything comfortable enough to sleep in. I turned the radio on - like I always do before I sleep. It makes me think deeper when I listen to music. And deep thinking makes me sleepier. Tonight though, I found it annoying to hear the radio in the background. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Every night before I fell alseep I thought about my friends back in Portales, I missed them a lot. I also started to feel scared about the fact that Quinn and Brittany didn't say anything to me. I did kick her ass, badly. I kept thinking about her maybe planning something brutal that would make me regret my actions. I shook the thought away quickly, nothing she would do to me would make me regret what I did. She deserved it, there were no limits for her. She didn't understand when to stop. I honestly believed that Brittany was a better person than Quinn, I was obviously wrong. If she had been a better person, she wouldn't let her take it so far.

The next morning I woke up without the alarm even ringing more than once. My mom drove me to school and I couldn't feel shittier than I already did. Monday was the worst day of the week for me. I was always stressed during the whole day without knowing why.

"Santana?"

"Hey, Rachel" I called, waving back, unable to be cold to her on a morning like this.

Rachel came to sit next to me. The tidy combed brown hair shining in the light striking in from the window behind us, her smile was stretching across her face.

"I never noticed how dark your hair actually is" she commented, catching a strand of it between her fingers.

"Is that good or bad?" I jokingly asked.

"It's good - dark hair is nice" she said and smiled now with her teeth hidden behind her lips.

I answered her with a smile and looked away as she let go of the strand of my hair and placed it exactly the way it was before. Silence began to grow between us.

"Great day, don't you think?" she asked. She was overly social and I had never been with her alone so I guess this was how she always was.

"My kind of day. I missed the sun a bit" I agreed.

"I love it when there's sun during the winter, it makes everything outside so much prettier"

"It does" I smiled with hope that she would leave me alone soon or that Mercedes or Tina would show up and talk to her instead.

"So, what did you do yesterday? I know most people always have plans on Sundays" she asked with her voice a little bit proprietary, like she was fully sure about the fact that I did something yesterday, which I actually didn't.

"Well, I don't know what kind of people you know but for your information I'm always just bored on Sundays. So I just worked on my biology stem cell research" I didn't brag about being finished with it, there was no need to sound smug.

"Do you like biology?"

"It's okay I guess" I answered.

"You and Quinn are in the same class, right?" she asked, sounding deflated "is she still mean to you?"

"She hasn't done anything the past two weeks so I would have to say no" I was taken off guard by her sudden interest in Quinn's way of treating me.

"Oh," she sighed "that's good" she didn't sound to confident about her answer.

"What's the deal with you and Quinn? Is she that mean to you?," I looked at Rachel's frowned face as her eyebrows began to furrow in the middle "you can't seem to talk about her without looking like you're in pain"

"Why?," she asked, her eyes guarded "this is the second time you ask me this"

My mind brought back the memory of Quinn's little move on me that day. Could it be that she had done the same thing to Rachel?

"I think you just get a little bit nervous around her"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"I don't" I lied.

"You're you, Santana," she looked dazed "what do you want me to say?"

"Nothing, nothing" I took the advantage of her confusion to escape.

"Oh" she exhaled.

"Look, Rachel" I said before I stood up "you can tell me anything, alright? If there is something to tell" I gathered my books up from beside me and stuffed them into my far too small bag.

She nodded at me with a smile I know was real. I would probably regret saying that to her at some point sometime later - but right now, I could sense she needed to talk. I needed to talk as well, so why not take advantage of each other.. When she's ready.

Our last lesson was cancelled for some reason so that means we got to go home much earlier than usual today. My mother was still working so I would have to take the buss. Then Mercedes offered me a ride home because she drove to school. I stepped into Mercedes car and her, Tina and Rachel were bubbling with excitement. Tina, Rachel and Mercedes were talking about something that happened to them on Friday and they couldn't shut up about it.

"What are you guys so happy about?"

"Tina got herself a boyfriend!" Mercedes said and burst into laughter along with Rachel.

"He's not my boyfriend" Tina responded. "He's this really cute guy that I flirted with and he actually did flirt back," she stopped just to smile about it "he asked me out and we're going to the movies on Saturday"

I wasn't really that excited about it but I had to pretend because obviously she was very happy about it.

"That sounds so fun," I forced out a smile "I'm really happy for you"

I'm not saying I wasn't happy for her, I'm just saying things like dates with boys didn't excite me as much as they did to other girls my age.

"What about you Santana?" Mercedes asked when the fuss was over and she started driving.

"What?"

"Don't you have a boyfriend or a crush on someone?" she asked and smiled at me through the mirror.

"No," I said "I don't"

I was sick of that question. My friends kept e-mailing me asking about the cute boys in my school, my mothers questions during dinner on Friday and now Mercedes.

"Do you even look around,?" Tina asked "I've noticed lots of boys staring at you but you never seem to look.." she laughed.

"If you just opened your eyes a bit more" Rachel added.

I didn't answer them. I just didn't feel like talking about it to be honest. All I wanted now was to get home so this horrible Monday would be over. I sat next to Rachel in the backseat while Tina sat in the front next to Mercedes. I looked out the window just to have a moment to think about everything, I really didn't know how I'd tell these people the truth - I wasn't into boys. My family already knew about it but I had totally forgotten that my new friends didn't. Right now didn't seem like the right time to let them know anyway.

We were starting to get closer to my place and I hadn't spoken during the whole ride, neither did Rachel for that matter. Only Tina and Mercedes were talking and I didn't even pay enough attention to understand about what. I told Mercedes where to pull in and before I left I felt my hand touch Rachel's hand that was placed right beside mine on the middle seat. I didn't react to it first but I quickly did when Rachel touched my hand again - on purpose. I looked at her and felt my eyebrows furrow. She didn't say anything nor give me a look that would explain her weird actions.

"See you tomorrow, San"

San.That was the first time Mercedes gave me a nickname. For some reason, it made me really happy. It meant she liked me and that I finally could call her a good friend knowing that she thinks of me that way too.

"Yeah," I walked out and lowered my head to the height of the car windows "goodbye guys" I said and shut the door.

Later that same night when I had finished my homework and was ready to jump in bed, I heard my phone beep. Not only once, but twice. I stopped myself from laying in bed and stood up to go get it from my jacket that was hanging on my door. I had been to lazy to get it earlier, I usually keep it by the bed all the time in case someone wants to reach me. I picked the phone out from the jacket and opened the first message. It was an unknown number. I looked at the phone again just to be sure that this had really happened. I didn't know who sent these messages and it was beyond creepy. I opened the first message.

"do you like me as much as I like you?"

I wasn't so creeped out by that one, it could be basically anyone. Someone who tries to mess, or some random person from school. The only thing that bothered me is the fact that they got my number, not many people from school had my number. Only Tina, Rachel and Mercedes. That is what made me think a bit, they wouldn't give my number out to someone without telling me about it first and asking me if it's okay. I know they wouldn't. I scrolled down and opened the second message.

"I've been watching you for so long. Ever since you started this school. I'm just afraid to let you know how much I like you. / B"