A cute young lady stands in her room. She looks happy, and it just so happens that there's a very good reason for her jollity. You see, this is no ordinary day. This is a very special day for her, as it is the fifteenth anniversary of her birth. To make the atmosphere even more jovial, it is today that she will finally be given a name. But... what shall her name be?

CRUNCHBITE DIRTBAG

It doesn't look like she agrees with that idea. Let's try again.

RUBY ROSE

It looks like this name has been accepted by our young charge.

Your name is RUBY ROSE, and you have just turned FIFTEEN. You live in a medium-sized rural home with your MOTHER. You enjoy WEAPONS MAGAZINES and have SUBSCRIPTIONS to all of them that you are aware of. Many previous issues lay scattered around your room. You are a fan of superstar musician JEFF WILLIAMS and have posters of him covering the walls of your room.

You have a fine appreciation for BAKED GOODS, with special regard to CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. As shown by the magazines, you also have a passion for WEAPONS and the study of them. Your own weapon, CRESCENT ROSE, is your pride and joy. What you don't like, however, is STUCK-UP BOSSYSKIRTS.

Now, what do you do?

Make animal sounds and soil bed.

The answer's no. That would be gross and childish, and you just finished growing up. The word counterproductive comes to mind.

Inspect Jeff.

You inspect your wall of posters. Jeff is hella awesome, and anyone who doesn't think he's a superstar is sure to catch a beating. Sometimes you like to just sit on your bed and look at Jeff for hours, but you don't do anything inappropriate. That would be gross and childish, and you just finished growing up. The word counterproductive comes to mind. Again.

Retrieve ARMS.

Can do. You reach under your bed and retrieve CRESCENT ROSE. It's time to bare arms up in this peanut gallery.

Stash CRESCENT ROSE.

You put your baby away, folding her up and sticking her into your FETCH MODUS. She automatically goes into your STRIFE SPECUBI, which is already set to the particular weapon type. You're not sure what it means by HELLBLADE DEATHGUN TYPE, but you presume it's what Crescent Rose is.

Go downstairs and eat cookies.

You would be happy to oblige the random voice that you totally don't hear inside your head, but you are distracted by a strange beeping sound. As it turns out, this sound isn't so strange. It's just one of your friends trying to contact you on your computer.

Answer friend.

Dismissing the call of cookies from below, you make your way to your computer desk and open BOTHERPAL, the chatroom you and your friends use. It looks like only one of them is on right now.

Talk to them.

Alright, alright, geez. Look who's getting impatient. You click on your friend's chatroom handle and initiate conversation.

CrimsonAvenger commenced bothering SaiyanPrincess at 10:23 AM

CA: YANG!

SP: RUBY!1!1

CA: To what do I owe the pleasure?

SP: i forget

SP: like i had something but now its gone

CA: Well, then what are you up to?

CA: Being cool as normal, I suppose?

SP: yes that

SP: but its more than that

SP: blake wants me to play a game with her

CA: Blake? Don't do it!

SP: i wasn't gonna

CA: She has a strange idea of what games are fun to play, doesn't she?

SP: she tried to convince me it wasnt a roleplay this time

SP: i sorta wanted to believe her too

SP: but it is still blake

CA: I'd be skeptical! Blake is a fiendish Faunus, after all!

SP: i think she sent you some stuff so you could play it with her too

SP: she is pretending that its for your birthday or something

SP: oh by the way

SP: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

CA: THANK YOU!

SP: what presents have you gotten

CA: None yet! Mother is out getting my presents right now!

CA: Actually, I think she just came in the door!

SP: you go check

SP: tell me what you got

CA: Okay! I'll be back when I find out!

CrimsonAvenger ceased bothering SaiyanPrincess at 10:29 AM

All your friends are very special to you, and you love to play games with them. Sometimes you even ROLEPLAY with one of them, but you would never dare to tell the others about that. Speaking of which, it looks like someone else is trying to contact you through BOTHERPAL.

Don't bother.

It's all cool. It doesn't bother you at all really. Besides, it's one of your other friends and there's absolutely nothing you should be doing right now that anyone could possibly be waiting for you to finish so you can tell them the results.

CrimsonAvenger commenced bothering FiendishFaunus at 10:30 AM

CA: Hey Blake!

FF: Hi Ruby! Want to play a game?

CA: That was quick! Even for you!

FF: Yes, well, it's not a roleplaying game this time.

CA: So I've heard! Yang is convinced it's a roleplay!

FF: Well, it's not. Unfortunately, I sort of wanted it to be the four of us playing.

CA: Oh, well, should I go tell the others?

FF: That would be helpful. Actually, while I'm sure you can convince Yang, I don't think you can help with Weiss. I think she's asleep.

CA: Oh, I can help with that! Just give me a second!

CrimsonAvenger ceased bothering FiendishFaunus at 10:31 AM

Of course, you weren't lying about that. There's in fact a very easy way to wake up your sleeping friend. And that's something you think the voice that's not in your head can totally help with.

Be the other girl.

You are now the other girl. However, as a result of your vagueness, you are not sure which other girl you are. Guessing by the blond hair and the aviator shades, it would be proper to assume that this girl is far too cool for you to be right now. Let's try someone far less awesome.

Be the other other girl.

You are now the other other girl. This girl is far less awesome, and you could definitely be her. The only problem is we don't know what her name is. You can't bloody well be her if you don't know her name. What shall her name be?

STUCK-UP BOSSYSKIRT

Yeah, that's not gonna go over well. You should have seen that coming. Let's try again.

WEISS SCHNEE

You are Weiss Schnee.

...

Sucks to be you.