A/N: I'm baaack! Still with me? I hope so. Okay I'm not going to talk too much up here but as an aside for this episode: we're going to pretend like Elena wrote her diary entry at the Grill after saving Damon and before returning home to the carnage awaiting her 'kay? Good. That being said I give you the Season 1 Finale: Founders Day. Enjoy. And Review. Please. I own nothing.
Founders Day
"I'm not a perfect person; there's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning – that's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me – to change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you"
It's Founders Day and I make my way to the town square to find Stefan looking very...1864. He wants to know why I'm here... well where else would I be?
"I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl" – "Don't start with me Damon" – but it's fun! And you know maybe if you'd left your little 'jealous boyfriend' act at the door last night. Seriously my brother has no sense of humour at all.
"Actually I just have no sense of Damon humour" – Damon humour? There's a brand of humour named after me now? Sweet! No I get it – "I'm the better, hotter, superior choice and you're scared now that Katherine's out of the picture that I'm gonna turn all my attention to Elena" – which effectively, is the truth. Only my attention was all on Elena when Katherine was still technically in the picture. "But don't worry – Elena is not Katherine."
Famous last words Damon – sometimes I think I should just never speak again.
Elena. Here.
Looking even more...Katherine like than usual.
It is Elena...right? Wait – vervain necklace? Check. Human heartbeat? Check. Thank fuck it's Elena. But god she looks right at me and drops into a little curtsy and I think this is the first time I've ever seen Katherine and not Elena and I fucking hate it, not a good look for her.
I decide to watch the parade and run into Bonnie so I thought I'd make nice with her after she de-activated the invention. She still doesn't like me very much but at least I tried. It is absurdly weird watching Elena and Stefan on the float – looking like that – weird.
Thankfully the next time I run into Elena in the Grill she's back to her normal everyday clothes which is so much better, I can't even begin to tell you how much I don't want to see Katherine when I look at Elena. Makes me feel all...wrong inside.
"I like you better like this; period look – it didn't suit you" – "is that an insult" – "actually Elena, it is a compliment of the highest order" – trust me.
"Look I know Stefan is worried about our...friendship" – he said something to her too? And what's with the stumble over her words? Does she not know how to define what we have either? We've gone from an 'understanding' to..."friendship"...and still neither of those words seem to be...enough.
"Did he mention something to you too?" – "No did he mention something to you?" – Oops. Me and my big mouth, nothing worth repeating anyway.
"So I think you should stop with the flirty little comments and that...eye-thing that you do" Really? Are ya' sure Elena because you know I can hear your heartbeat right? I do the 'eye-thing' to make my point, really does she not know me at all? I might like her, care about her, have...feelings for her but I'm not going to change who I am. I've already changed enough since I met her.
"Don't make me regret being your friend" No – God no I won't do that. I need this girl in my life too much in any way to make her regret that but I can't find the words I need to tell her that so I just nod and watch her walk to her brother.
I don't like the way he's talking to her, she doesn't deserve that. So I decide to try and help out a little.
"Cut her some slack" – "she erased my memories" – "No I did – she was protecting you" – oh great here's Saint Stefan coming to the rescue as always – is he ever not around? "Don't blame Elena for this. Damon turned Vicki – I killed her" Yeah, probably shouldn't have done that. I feel a bit...bad about it now. That's...unusual.
"Elena's relationship with her brother is none of your business so stay out of it" Pardon? Things that hurt Elena are my business I'm her friend remember? Also, she's always getting involved in our brotherly relationship; I'm merely returning the favour. And I was trying to help in my own special way.
"We both know that you're not doing this for the right reasons" – really...what are the right reasons Stefan? Enlighten me please I'd looove to hear this.
"See Damon it's only real when it comes from your desire to do the right thing for nothing in return. And I know that that is an entirely foreign concept to you; I completely understand that." Wow. Blow my mind. My brother does not know me at all. He truly has no idea who I am and that is slightly...disturbing.
I'm in the square looking for Elena or Stefan when I run into Anna. She's still in town? Why? Thought she'd be long gone.
"There's something you need to know – the vampires from the tomb are planning an attack tonight...I went to them, they think I'm with them but I'm not. They want the founding families dead" Ah – information overload. When?
"When the fireworks start" well that explains the invention then, there's one little mystery all cleared up. Unfortunately said device no longer works – "They're already here Damon" Fabulous. This town really is cursed. Damon to the rescue as usual, oddly enough this time I actually want to save people. Protect people.
How'd that happen? Oh I'll tell you - let me, let me. Elena. God what has that girl done to me?
Ric – I find Ric and he has weapons in the car – that's the first piece of good news I've heard all night. Ah there's Elena and Stefan – also good. I grab her hand and she asks what I'm doing.
"Saving your life. 15 words or less: tomb-vamps are here, founding families are the target. Get her out of here. Now." I direct Stefan and let go of Elena's hand. That part was un-necessary but there's a high chance I could die tonight and if I do I wanted to hold her hand, to touch her and feel that fire one last time. Okay there's not a high chance, there's no chance really but...whatever.
Stefan asks me something but it's more than 15 words and I need to go like...now.
I need to find Papa John Gilbert that idiot doesn't have a clue what sort of hell he's unleashed and he can damn well help with the cleanup. Stupid vengeful vampires are a nuisance!
Oh dear God. Make it stop. Please. God make it stop. Please. Please. It hurts. Please. Make it stop. Darkness.
Oh my head is all...foggy. Damned vervain. We're in a basement. "Anna" - Papa John Gilbert. Oh my god. He's got a stake. No don't kill her. Fuck I can't move. Fucking vervain. Dead. He killed her. No. Should have taken him out when I had the chance. And now I'm gonna die. Kinda glad I had the sense to take Elena's hand now.
Elena.
Stefan.
He's not here. Thank god. He must have gotten her home. She'll be okay – Stefan will protect her.
Wow I can't believe I'm actually going to die-die but there's fire blocking the stairs and I can barely move and as Bonnie...damn her...so wisely pointed out once upon a time "fire kills vampires". So not how I wanted to go.
Wait – is that Mayor Lockwood? What's he doing here?
"What are you doing here?" – "I'm a vampire, what's your excuse?" – Well I'm dying, may as well be honest. But seriously why is he in here? What is he? Dead is what he is now. Dammit now I'll never know. Still I never liked that guy so I'm not exactly devastated that he's dead.
Stefan – Stefan is here – speed – saved. Stefan saved me. My brother saved me.
Elena. Elena's here. Elena saved me. Again. I really need to get started on keeping that score-sheet. Her hands are on me and all over me and she's touching me and Stef's holding me up and dammit if the vervain would just wear off – I have to fix this.
I had to fix it so I left Elena at the grill and I went to see Jeremy. I told him Anna was dead and I offered to take his pain away but he didn't want that. "I still feel empty. Alone" I feel...sorry for him really. I apologised for what I did to Vicki – I was wrong, what I did was wrong. He asked me if life was easier when you're switched off.
"Life sucks either way Jeremy but at least if you're a vampire you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to" – "Is that what you did?" – "I did it for...I did it for a very long time and life was a lot easier" But not better.
This. This is better. Feeling what I...feel...for Elena, for my brother, for this town and the people in it, for...life. It's better.
Elena. Well it is her house – I just, wasn't expecting her so soon. She asks me what I'm doing here and it's been a night for truth. Actually I think it's been a month for truth so I might as well we honest with her as well. I always am.
"Failed and feeble attempt at doing the right thing" I tell her as I take her bags from her. She seems a little...off considering she just tried to run into a burning building to save my life but then she's probably worried about what I'm doing at her house.
"You know, I came to this town wanting to destroy it. Tonight, I found myself wanting to protect it. How does that happen?" – You. You made that happen.
"I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not in me...reserved for my brother, and you...and Bonnie...still helped Stefan save me...because she did it for you"
You decided I was worth saving...and I think you might be the only person in my very long existence who has ever believed that; believed in me. I walk over to her as I'm speaking.
She says "You're welcome" and I lean in and kiss her on the cheek. But when I move back she's staring at me like she's never looked at me before and her eyes flicker to my lips, and then again and I am in no way capable of stopping myself from doing this because I just want her. So. Damn. Much.
And then I'm kissing her. And she's kissing me back. My hands are in her hair and god it's...the door. It's the door. Fuckery. Jenna. I try and hide myself behind Elena although I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve here.
Reluctantly I drop my hand from her side but I'm still not turning around until Jenna says "it's late. You should probably come inside" she walks away and goes inside and I avoid looking at Jenna. Now that it's over I am...baffled.
Did that just? Did that happen? I move my fingers to my lips where I can still taste her and there is something so...familiar about it. It's like I've kissed her before although I never have. So familiar, so strange.
It's not really...what I expected. Not that it was bad. Not at all – just...not what I expected. For someone who sets my entire body on fire every time I touch her that kiss...did not do that.
Dear Diary,
Today was Founders Day and I had to wear this awful dress and I could hardly breathe. Uncle John is actually Father John, he's my biological dad. So messed up!
Bonnie didn't deactivate the device and I was so angry – I still am...but she helped save him so I'm not AS angry.
Damon. The device went off and Stefan was in agony and Damon...just need to find Damon. We didn't know where he was. I just knew that I had to save Damon. Again. This is becoming a somewhat regular occurrence! Stefan could hear them he said the building was on fire and I was so scared, all I could think was please don't be too late.
John was standing guard and he said "It's over for Damon" and just NO! "This is the right thing Elena" he said – how could it possibly be the right thing? DAMON was in there. John said that Stefan could go ahead and try to save Damon but he wouldn't make it but when Stefan asked if there was another entrance I didn't hesitate to tell him.
I could have lost BOTH of them but I can't bear the thought of Damon dying so I had to try. I raced after Stefan – I had to go in there – had to get to Damon – but Bonnie was there and she grabbed my wrist and started chanting – and then it was okay.
Damon. Stefan. Damon. Alive. He's okay.
Stefan said "I try so hard to hate him – I guess it's just pointless". Damon is exceptionally hard to hate – trust me I've tried. All that happened was I ended up caring about him. Probably more than I should.
I don't know what's going on with me and Damon and I'm nowhere near ready to look at it too closely.
I love Stefan. Damon and I are friends. Whatever else is there...will just have to...wait or something. And I told Stefan that he has nothing to worry about because I know he suspects that I have feelings for Damon. But it's true he has nothing to worry about, if nothing else I would never allow anything to happen with Damon when I was with Stefan. And I am. With Stefan. Not Damon.
And I love Stefan.
I...don't know what I feel for Damon.
I know that if he's in danger then I have to save him it's not a choice. It's a necessity. I know that there's this...fire between us. It's like I'm burning when he touches me. I know that when he gets too close my heart starts racing and it's not because I'm scared. I know that he's ridiculously beautiful and I can't deny that I'm attracted to him.
But it doesn't mean anything.
Elena