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"I know you're going to be angry at me Cloud, but I've got someone here who wishes to speak with you." The voice of Elmyra Gainsborough was welcomed, if a bit unexpected.

After everything, he figured she would hunt him down and end him.

"Who would want to talk to me?" Cloud asked bitterly, keeping his face firmly ensconced in his pillow and attempting to draw his knees up even furthers.

"Yeah, I'm going to put you on speakerphone." Elmyra spoke before a small beep was heard and then Cloud's whole world tilted again.

"Cloudy, baby, is that really you?" A sniffy voice full of that thick Nibel brogue he had grown up with asked through the tinny speaker of Elmyra's borrowed PHS. "Cloudy, talk to me, baby. Please."

"…..Ma?" Cloud whispered in a brittle voice that was a hairsbreadth away from breaking, his usually tamed Nibel accent bleeding through loud and clear, even if his face was still smothered by the pillow he held in a white-knuckled grip.

"Oh! Cloudy!" His Ma breathed in wonderment.

I made her cry. Cloud knew there were tears in his Ma's voice and he was such an awful son and why was Aerith's Mama doing this? Wasn't losing Aerith enough for one day? Now he had made his Ma cry and she was going to-

"Oh, Cloudy baby, I've missed hearing your voice so much!" His Ma continued, causing Cloud's internal litany of self-loathing to screech to an abrupt halt. "I love you, you know that, right Cloudy? No matter what, you're my baby. Your letters are nice, but it's been so long since you've called me and I've got a whole book of letters written up for you, since I haven't had anywhere to send them- and oh baby, I've missed you!"

After a few moments of silence- save for the background noises of the Slums and some sniffling coming from the other side of the phone- his Ma began to speak again. "Oh, baby." She said softly, affection and heartbreak fairly oozing from the words. "Sweetheart, talk to me."

"I'm…..I'm sorry Ma." Cloud managed, not daring to raise his voice as he started to cry again. "I'm so sorry. I can't do anything, can I? I couldn't make SOLDIER, I couldn't even cut it in the Infantry- my squad mates always had to save me- and now- now, I'm broken Ma. I've only got half an arm and, and-" Cloud's voice trailed off as he began to cry harder, the tears he could hear his Ma shedding only making him want to curl up and die all over again.

Surely the Lifestream would be better than this. This listening to his Ma cry as he broke her heart all over again-

"Cloud Strife!" Ma bellowed in a voice that had him lifting his head reflexively.

The pillow was taken out of his grasp with professional dexterity and the small, silver PHS was deposited abruptly into his lap. "Ma?" Cloud ventured rather dumbly, it had been ages since he had heard that tone of voice.

"Now you listen to me, little mister!" In his mind he could see his Ma with her hands on her hips, giving him that narrowed-eyed cornflower blue stare that spelled trouble. "Do ya mean to tell me that you've been avoiding me for nigh on four years because you lost part of an arm!" Ma huffed into the phone, but her voice was gentler when she spoke again. "Let me let you in on a little secret, Cloudy. You take things far too personally for your own good. Your Pa was like that, too. Wanted to protect everythin' and everyone and counted it as a personal failure whenever the goddess' will stepped in his way. But I've known you your whole life, baby, and you were tryin' ta help me bring back buckets of water from the well when you were but a baby an' the bucket was as big as you! No, Cloudy, you listen to me and you listen well: You're a'gonna wipe those pretty eyes of yours and go with Elmyra back to her house and hug that girl of hers until ya both feel better. Then you're gonna go back to that church of yours and continue livin' your life until I can get there and hug the stuffing outta you in person."

"But, Ma-" Cloud began to protest, his throat closing over at the thought of Ma seeing him like this.

"Cloudy." Ma sighed heavily, the tone of her voice both fond and utterly exasperated at the same time. "Considern' the state your head's in it doesn't surprise me that you don't realize you've ben sendin' me a king's ransom every damn month for the past three years. No, don't argue with me." Ma ordered sternly as Cloud went to protest. "I've got more than enough saved up to take a trip to see my baby. My baby who's been goin' through-" Ma broke off and took a moment to compose herself. "No, Cloudy, you've done well by your Ma, but I wanna see my baby and so I'm gonna see my baby, you got that young man?"

"I-" Cloud swallowed heavily, the fear of his Ma seeing him as the pathetic, broken mess he was warring violently with the desire to be able to lay his blond head on his Ma's lap and for her miraculous ability to make things right again to happen. "I miss you, too." He said eventually, not bothering to wipe the tears off his cheeks or bothering with the snot that was trailing across his upper lip. "I miss you so much, Ma, but I was just so scared and I didn't want to make things worse and-" Cloud took a few gulps of air and tried to smile bravely at the phone. "Jag älskar dig mamma."

"Ja." His Ma's voice was warm and for the briefest of moments it transported Cloud back to Nibelheim, during the deep winter. When Ma would make hot chocolate for them after a dinner of her delicious stew and they would curl up together under grandma's blanket, near the fire, while Ma would whisper the legendary tales of Fenrir, Odin, and Freya. "Jag älskar dig mitt barn. Ständigt."

"Ok." Cloud whispered through his tears as his mother called out for Elmyra and the woman quickly snatched up the phone. Cloud curled up into a ball and gently rocked himself back and forth. "Ok."

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Aerith had run out of tears, she was just sitting on the edge of her bed, hugging her knees to her chest as if that would plug that oozing wound that was Cloud's departure. Her breaths came out in pants as she steeled herself against the pain.

It was all her fault! And now Cloudy was gone and she didn't think she would be able- or welcomed- to reel him back in this time.

The day had begun normally enough. Aerith had gone to pass out flowers while Cloud did his morning odd jobs and they met at the church around lunch time so they could eat with her mother at the Gainsborough home.

It was on their way back to the church that she had suggested going to look around the site of their planned Park that everything had gone to Ifrit's fire and back.

Firstly, a Turk had shown up, and not one of the ones that Tseng usually sent to keep an eye on her- in the aftermath of her being found by Zack and Angeal and then those AVALANCHE members nearly managing to abduct her nearly immediately afterwards, which had called attention to the Turks, who had been scouring Midgar in pursuit of aforementioned AVALANCHE members- but a relatively new one, from the looks of things. The Turk, obviously having been apprised of Hojo's standing order to apprehend her and return her to Hojo's labs, had attempted to do so.

Attempted. Past tense. Because Cloud had gone from her cheerfully chatting companion to her protective apex predator in the span of a heartbeat.

The Turk had been relatively talented, but he was no match for Cloud who was very much not intimated by the threats the Turk hurled at him, nor the man's jabs at Cloud's disability.

Cloud had managed to get behind the man and had accidentally snapped the man's neck when the Turk had attempted to turn strike at a pressure point and Cloud had overcompensated. Cloud hadn't meant for the man to die- she could read that clearly in the blond's face as he let the blue-suited body fall to the ground, one soul lighter- but he had not been panicking.

Until, of course, things got worse.

Of all the damn times for Zack and Angeal to be nearby, it would have been right then.

"Get away from her!" Zack roared as he came hurtling towards Cloud, the broadsword slipping easily from its sheath and into his palm.

"Zack, no!" Aerith had screamed, trying to put herself between Zack and Cloud.

Cloud's eyes had hazed over when he had looked up at Zack. The blond's flesh had gone ash-grey and he had begun to tremble where he stood. Zack, being a SOLDIER, had easily dodged around Angeal- whom he had been trailing after, it was really no wonder Angeal had long ago nicknamed Zack his 'puppy'- and had reared back to strike Cloud. Angeal managed to slip in between them and halt Zack's progress with the wide blade of his Buster Sword.

"Puppy, calm down!" Angeal had barked sharply, all authority and firmness.

"But-" Zack protested, even as he eased his blade away from the buster Sword and returned it to its sheath.

"No buts." Angeal commanded firmly. "We don't know what happened here."

"Cloud was trying to protect me!" Aerith cried in distress as she watched Cloud retreat into himself more and more as his intense stare stayed avidly fixed on Zack.

Zack blinked a few times and looked over at Cloud, tilting his head like an adorable puppy as he thought. Then his expression lit up. "Oh, hey! Aren't you that guy that survived that ambush AVALANCHE set up near Modeoheim? I'm sure it was you! Cissnei said you took out, like, three Ravens by yourself before that last one hit you with a Firaga." Zack grinned brightly. "They awarded you, like, three medals for that stunt. Said that you were the only reason the other two squads nearby di-"

"Puppy, stop!" Angeal commanded, placing a hand on Zack's shoulder and giving Cloud a careful once-over.

Aerith moved forward with a shaky smile on her lips, Cloud had not been this closed off to her in a very long time. "Cloud, these are my friends, Angeal and Zack. They built the carts at the church, the ones I use to take my flowers to Market."

"Oh." Cloud managed, the tone flat and devoid of expression as his breaths increased in tempo. "I see."

"Clou-"

"Miss Gainsborough." Tseng's smooth, professional tone cut into the conversation easily. "Can you explain what happened here?"

"Of course!" Aerith replied calmly, clasping her hands to hide the fine trembling in them as she did so. "Cloud and I were walking to our project site…" Aerith quickly relayed the situation and judging by Tseng's pinched expression the Turk had been in the wrong.

"Former Sergeant Strife-" Tseng began smoothly.

And that had been too much for Cloud.

"I wasn't a fucking Sergeant!" Cloud thundered ferociously- his voice caught somewhere between rage and grief- his bright blue eyes nearly feral as he glared heatedly at the Turk officer. "I had only been a Corporal for six months, you are not eligible for promotion until eight months IR. They promoted me when they kicked me out of the fucking Infantry because I was the only asshole who survived. It was a pity rank at best and a slap in the face to Sergeant Trembly who threw himself over me at the last second." Cloud had clenched and unclenched his hand several times and started to get a wild, caged look in his eyes are he tracked everyone's movements keenly. "Not a fucking Sergeant, just a Gaia-dammed survivor when I should have been a casualty. Like my squad. My friends" Cloud's voice broke and tears gathered in his eyes as his breathing grew more agitated.

"Strife, I assure you-"

"I killed the fucker because he was going to drag Aerith into hell, though." Cloud's lips twisted and he took a few steps back as he gave a short, bitter laugh. "I can see that it was entirely unnecessary."

"Cloud!" Aerith exclaimed, trying to think of a way to salvage the situation.

"No, it's fine, I get it." Cloud replied with that same wry smile, something dark and desperate smothering the remnants of warmth that Cloud always seemed to exude.

Then something loud had resounded through the area, distracting her, and when she had looked back, Cloud was gone.

Aerith found that she did have tears left to cry, as the thought of Cloud being gone resurfaced. I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! I should have said something- anything- to keep them from saying all that! I know how sensitive you are about your former comrades! I'm so, so sorry Cloudy! She mentally screamed as she curled in on herself, facing away from the door when she heard her mother ascending the stairs.

The bed dipped and she prepared herself from her mother's comfort, but then the scent of man, tears, and something undeniably-

"Cloud!" She cried as she flipped over and latched onto the blond. It didn't matter why he was here, only that he had come back to her. "Cloud, I'm so-"

"I'm sorry."

They ended up saying it at the same time and they both looked at each other- Aerith, craning her neck at a nearly impossible angle and Cloud peering down at her through absolutely wrecked eyes- and for a moment the world held its breath.

Then Cloud cracked one of those awful sad-half-smiles and Aerith giggled and before she knew it she was wrapped up in a firm hug, her nose buried in Cloud's neck despite the snot she was spewing, while Cloud had his drippy nose buried in her hair. And everything wasn't ok. There were still about a thousand and one things that needed to be said, but for the moment just having Cloud with her was enough.

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Feel free to leave me a note on your way out~!

Thanks to the lovely VixenTail who pointed out a wonky section so I could fix it. Thanks, dearie~! = )

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