Blarg Him In The Honk Honk

A loud thundering noise echoed through the lunchroom, disrupting every conversation. Most resumed their talking when they saw that it was Nora Valkyrie. Blake, Yang, and Weiss looked up from their food, wondering what Nora had thought of this time. Ruby bolted up, having been pulled out of her lunchtime nap. Ren dropped his face into the palm of his hand, afraid of what was to come. Pyrrha and Jaune just watched, unsure of what to think.

Nora began to explain her master plan. "There's no possibility of then defeating us if we team up, so Jaune and Ruby need to cover the main entrance to the lunchroom. Blake and Ren will keep them from getting to the windows to escape. Weiss and Pyrrha will block the smaller doors at the back of the room. Then, me and Yang will move in and blarg Cardin in the honk honk!"

Yang sat up suddenly, alarmed. "Wait, in public? I'm not that brash!"

Nora shook her head. "Nonono! You misunderstand me." She took out her hammer. "We blarg him... in the honk honk!"

Yang held up her hands, waving them defensively. "I'm not blarging any boy in the honk honk while we're in public!"

At this point, Yang was the only one of the two teams who didn't seem to understand what Nora meant, and Yang was starting to attract attention. Weiss was shrinking down into her seat, trying to hide, and Blake had well hidden her face in her book. Ren was doing his best to make it look like he did not know any of the others, though the assigning of teams made it quite impossible. Pyrrha smiled nervously and Jaune turned beet red.

Nora pounded her hammer into her other hand. "No, see we just go up to him, and then we blarg him in the honk honk."

Yang threw her hands up in the air. "Gaah! Why do you want to do something like that? We'd get in trouble and I'd be so embarrassed."

Ruby chuckled. "Oh, come on, sis. It's not like you haven't done it before."

Yang turned red and glared at her sister. "How did you know about that?! Why would you even say that out loud?!"

Ruby continued unabated. "Like that one time, when that boy next door was teasing me. You walked right up to him and blarged him right in the honk honk."

Yang turned redder. "Wha- I never did!"

Finally, Ren leaned forward. "Yang, they're talking about hitting him in the crotch. Probably with a Magnhild and Ember Celica."

Ruby sighed, standing up and unfolding Crescent Rose from behind her back. "Screw it, I'm going in." She jumped over the table, swinging her weapon over her head. "LEEEEROOOOY JEEEEENKIIIINS!"

She then proceeded to blarg Cardin in the honk honk with the business end of Crescent Rose.

Daddy's Little Girl

Team JNPR stood at the side of the road, looking down the driveway at the house where they would be spending their first week of their first Summer together. Ren knew what was coming, and Nora did too, but Jaune and Pyrrha were unaware of what they were facing. Nora ran up the driveway to the garage door and knocked on it. The rest heard some sounds coming from the other side of the door as they walked up beside her, and then the garage door opened up.

Inside, they saw a tall man with short brown hair. He quickly went back to what he had been doing before, working on the blue vehicle stored in the garage. It looked like a race car. He called Nora over. "Dear, can you help me with this?"

"Sure thing, dad!" She hopped over and peeked at the machinery at the back of the car. "Hmm... you rusted out the coolant system? How did you even manage that?"

He laughed, scratching his head. "Not too sure, actually. No big deal, though. We just need to pull the panel out and bang out the rust. If it doesn't work and we destroy the panel, then we would have needed to get a new one anyway."

Nora cheered. "Can I do the banging?"

He shrugged. "Sure, I guess..."

The others just watched in amusement as the man pulled the panel out and set it down against the wall. He stepped back. "Okay, Nora. Remember how I taught you."

She jumped forward, no weapon or tool in hand. "VALKYRIE... PUNCH!" Her fist wreathed in flames, and the coolant panel melted on impact.

Her father clapped approvingly.

Ren just sighed, and Pyrrha gave him an odd look. "I... don't understand what just happened."

The man stepped over to them. "You must be my daughter's team from Beacon. Welcome to our household. You can just call me Doug."

Jaune took his hand and shook it when it was offered. "Thank you, sir. Say, uh... is that a race car?"

Nora bounced over. "Yup! He's a race driver!"

He saluted oddly, grinning. "Now, let's go make pancakes!" The two of them ran off through the back door of the garage.

Ren leaned over to Jaune and Pyrrha. "She's adopted, but you wouldn't know it."

Author's Notes: Nora is Captain Douglas Jay Falcon's adopted daughter. That is fact until I find out otherwise. Later chapters may explore who I think the other characters' parents are. Remember, as always, feel free to suggest ideas for future chapters of RubyRolled! and don't be afraid to ask for your own characters to appear. And always, Always remember that guns don't kill people. Death kills people.