Not my best chapter...

I don't know how long I kneeled there, staring at the blood that's beginning to pool around the lady. I've been losing track of time a lot lately, like my life is slipping away from me. I would let it if it weren't for the fact that I am the only person that can save Newt. The one thing that reminds me I have to live is this determination inside of me.

If it weren't for that, I would be numb. Oblivious to everything. I would probably skip meals and forget about my health. I wouldn't kill myself, but I wouldn't try to live.

Once again, Newt is the only thing keeping me alive.

" Are you just going to kneel there or are you going to help me? " The little girl on the table asks in a shaky voice. It brings me back down into reality, and out of my thoughts. Thoughts can be suffocating if you're left alone with them for too long. They'll drive you crazy. Just like a Crank.

I stand, wincing because of my sore muscles. My back is still out of alignment, making it hard to walk. The girl is staring up at the ceiling, her face vacant. I undo the straps on her wrists, and she sits up, breathing hard.

" Nandini. " She suddenly says.

" What? " I ask.

" It's my name. " She stands and grabs the key off of the lady. After that she grabs the scalpel, and I stare at her, curiosity eating at me.

" What are you doing? " I ask. She barely pays any attention to me as she starts to walk down the hall.

" Escaping! " She yells over her shoulder. I hurry after her, not wanting to be left alone with the Cranks. Granted, she is a Crank, but she's not as crazy as some of them.

" The stairs are a dead end. " I say, thinking back to my trip down here. " The door at the top is latched shut. "

The hallway grows dimmer as we walk, and I have to strain to see her small figure.

" You don't think I know that? " She snaps. " Why are you even following me? "

" I don't want to be down there. " I say, images of peeling skin flashing through my mind. " I can help. "

She scoffs. " I doubt it. "

" I know the facility. " She glances over her shoulder at me in doubt, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. This kid is too suspicious for her own good.

" Who was that guy? Minho? " She asks. " How do you know him? "

" What makes you think you have the right to know? " I say, throwing her own words back at her.

" I'm curious. " She says with a shrug of her shoulders. Her hospital gown rises and falls, fluttering as she walks.

" I'll tell you if you tell me how you got here. " I say, wanting to know more about this kid. If I'm going to let her lead me wherever, then I deserve to know more about here.

" Deal. " She says. " But you first. "

She starts to drag her hands along the wall, searching for something. I raise my eyebrow, but don't say anything.

" Minho is…. A friend. " I settle on the word friend, because the relationship is complicated. We were close friends, then he said he hated me, then he kissed me. Friend is the most simple word. Companions, acquaintances, pals.

" How did you meet? " She asks, looking over her shoulder.

" The Maze. " I say, memories flashing through my mind. The way he carried me through the Maze and into the Glade when I wasn't eating right. The way he go so offended over a little comment on his hair. Just, the way he was Minho. I'm so lost in my thoughts about him that I don't realize that Nandini stopped. I walk right into her back.

" The Maze? " She questions, a curious tone overtaking her voice. Hope mingles with it, but I wonder about her past. She turns around and looks up at me, but I can barely see her face.

" Was there a boy named Newt there? " My heart drops into my stomach. How does she know Newt?

" Yea. " I say slowly, " Why? "

" He's my brother. " She says, and all of a sudden it clicks into place. The british accent, and the brown eyes. Newt's blond hair always had a twinge of brown to it, and now I know why. But, she's a Crank. She has the Flare. I can't let her near her own brother.

She turns around and continues walking, and I forget all about asking her about her past. My thoughts go to Newt, and how this could affect him. If he knew he had a sister I know he would do anything to protect her. He would love her and chase away any boys that go after her. He needs someone, family. I'm not that. This girl could chase away his depression.

But I need him. If I let Nandini near him she'll infect him with the Flare. I can't have that. My life would become dull without him. A constant state of depression and sadness, with no motivation to live.

It's like a heavy fog floats in my mind, clouding my senses. My thoughts have disappeared within it, leaving me to wander through the mist searching for them. I know about the cliffs in my mind; the ones that drop into black abysses. With all this fog, it's impossible to tell where they are. I'm scared I'll walk right off of one, and land in a place that's nothing but suffocating darkness—a swirling rage of depression and self-derogatory whispers.

" I've been here looking for him. " She says, and I snap out of my thoughts. " He's all I have left. "

I can't take him away from her. I never even thought of how Nandini might feel. She has all of her memories of her brother. Every time they fought, every time they bonded, she remembers it. He doesn't.

" Has he talked about me? "

" No. He doesn't have his memories from before the Maze. "

" Oh. " She says. I didn't think it was possible to sound so broken in one syllable.

" It can be fixed, though. I got my memories back. " I try to cheer her up, and the thought makes me happy too. Newt remembering us as goofy kids pranking people. It would be perfect. I find myself grinning at the thought.

She looks over her shoulder and narrows her eyes at my smile. " What are you to him? "

" Honestly, " I breathe out, " I don't really know. "

A light flashes down the hall, bright and white. It flickers off, then back on, as if it were a flashlight running out of batteries. My skin prickles with fear as I freeze to the spot. Nandini continues. If I could see her face, it would hold a certain fascination. I suppose when you get used to the fluorescent lights of a torture chamber, a floating, flickering light would be weird. Then, the light lands on her.

She stops, rooted to the floor with shock. The light makes my eyes hurt as it flashes to me. I squint, raising my arm above my eyes. I can see a shadowy figure striding towards us. Nandini turns, and tries to run, but a hand grabs her arm, keeping her in place.

" Let me go you weirdo! " She shouts, kicking and writhing around. I stand and watch, unable to move. If she get's taken, she won't have to see Newt. Newt won't get infected. " Louisa, help me! "

" Louisa? " Someone says. " Is that who that was? "

My stomach drops to my feet. " Let her go you ass. " I hiss.

A smile forms on his face, his white teeth showing through the dark. " What are you willing to do? "

The flashlight is still shining on Nandini, her face full of terror. I can see the way she looks like Newt now: I've seen that same look on him too often. If Newt ever found out that I let his sister be taken back to be tortured he would hate me. Hell, I still don't know if I'll ever see him again.

" What are you saying, Lee? " I ask, annoyed. I know I screwed him over, but he doesn't have a right to demand anything of me.

" I'll let her go, " He pauses, thinking. " If you follow me. "

Nandini's eyes are pleading, begging for me to do this. But Lee could be out for revenge. He probably hates me with every fiber of his body. I could end up in a worse situation than the one I'm in now. But, Nandini...

" Okay. Just let the girl go. "

" Give me your word. " Lee squeezes her arm tighter, and she screams out.

" I promise I'll follow you. " I rush out, in a blur of panic. He releases Nandini and she falls to her knees, breathing hard. I have no doubt that billions of bad memories are passing through her mind—memories of torture. And she endured all that because she was looking for her brother, for Newt.

" Good. " Lee grabs my arm and pulls me towards the stairs, leaving Nandini behind. I cast a look over my shoulder, and she mouths the word thank you. Or at least that's what I think she did. It's so dark I can barely see her.

" Where are we going? " I ask Lee.

" To the doctor. "

" Why? "

" I was asked to get you and take you to there. "

" Impossible. " I mumble. No one here cares about my well being. They don't care that my muscles pop and ache every time I walk. They don't care if I have to walk hunched over because I can't straighten my back. They don't care.

" I have to admit, you're looking pretty rough. " Lee says, then he mumbles, " I never thought they would keep you down there. "

" What do you mean? " I ask, suspicious of him. I can't trust Lee. I want to cut all ties with him and just forget we ever met. It wouldn't surprise me if he felt the same way.

" Nothing. " He says, louder. He shines the flashlight ahead of us and I see the stares I fell down. In a couple of steps, we're walking up them and back into the main WICKED headquarters. I almost trip a couple of times, but Lee holds me up. I really need to get coordination.

When we get to the top, I see the keypad on the left side of it. He puts a code in and the door opens. Cool air from the hallway mingles with the hot, stuffy air, and I shiver. It's like the air is freezing me, but I know it's just from where I got used to the air of the torture chamber. Lee simply pulls me through and shuts the door behind us.

More people are in the hallways, making me think that it's daytime. A tiny little bit of me hopes it is, just so I can run into one of the Familiars. The other half, hopes it's night time. Janson threatened to kill anyone who saw me. I now have no doubt in my mind that they would. After what happened down in the basement with Minho, they're cruelty was proven.

I wonder what Minho is doing right now. He can't tell anyone, so I imagine he's just going on with what he was doing before. Forgetting about me. It's what I want him to do. There are so many things WICKED could do to him. If he forgets then maybe he will be knocked off the list of people to use against me.

Lee throws me into my room, and I land on the floor with a groan. Pain laces through my entire body. It feels like every muscle has been pushed to it's limit, like they're heavy and full of lead. I simply lay there on the floor as Lee sits on my bed. I never knew a floor could be so comfortable.

" What are you doing? " I ask him while staring up at the white ceiling.

" Am I not allowed to help you? " Lee asks.

" It's just, I thought you would hate me. "

" Oh I do. " He replies with a light laugh. " But it's like you said all those weeks ago. ' People always have a special tie to the first person they loved '"

I feel like banging my head on a wall. He's got this love/hate relationship with me. I can't find the heart to tell him that he should just forget about me. What would I do if Newt told me to forget about him? All I know is that it would include a lot of crying.

" I'm sorry Lee. " I find myself saying. " I don't know what I was thinking. "

But I do know. I know that I was just trying to save the Familiars. I had to make sure they were safe. Why didn't I just sneak in instead of using someone?

Lee let's out a bitter laugh. " I didn't think it was possible to feel like this. I thought it was always a lie, a myth, a fairy tale. "

I take my eyes off of the ceiling and look at him. He's watching me with pain etched all over his face.

" Every time I look at you, I get this pain that I can't describe. It eats me alive, and I want to stop loving you. I need to stop. " Lee takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. " But I can't bring myself to forget about you. And I hate you for that. I hate you for being you. "

I think back to the memory I had a few days ago while I was passed out in the Maze. My mom had warned be about falling in love. I told her it made people stronger, and I believed it for the longest time. But now I know what she meant by it breaking people. You can always fall, but there might not be someone there to catch you.

" I can't control that. " I say. " I did what I had to. "

" I know. " Lee runs a shaky hand through his black hair. I watch, guilt prodding at me. I did this to him. " I would've done the same thing for you. "

I don't say anything. I can't change the way he feels just by talking to him. Nothing can fix him. He just has to move on. There's nothing I can do to help him with that. I broke him, and I can't help him build himself back up.

The door slides open and I sit up. The simple task causes my back to ache, sending pain all the way through my legs. When I look up, the woman who took my Swipe out is standing before me, smiling. The smile sets me off, and I immediately know something is up. She seems too happy to just be helping me.

" Let's go Louisa. The subjects just started eating lunch. If we hurry you can get back here before they finish. " She says as I stand. A small whimper escapes me, but her and Lee ignore it. She simply turns and walks out the room, leaving me to follow. I offer a small smile to Lee as I leave, but he shakes his head.

The lady leads me through a maze of hallways, and I try to figure out what I'm going to do next. I don't have any leverage against Ava or Janson. There's no way they would accept simple threats. Ava could kill me with a flick of her wrist. Guards would swarm around me, and decapitate me. My life would be over and I'd be left to whatever hell follows.

I shake the depressing thoughts as I look up. I've never seen this part of WICKED, so I know I'm not going to the hospital wing.

" Where are you taking me? " I ask, walking faster to be beside her. She glances at me from the corner of her eye, and I keep the frown on my face.

" I see you are as perceptive as people say. " She says, and stops in front of a door. There doesn't seem to be anything special about it—it looks like every other door in this damned place. But, there is one difference. The silver thingy on the side. It looks like something you would slide your credit cards through. The lady only solidifies my thoughts as she slides her key card through it. The door slides open, and she shoves me inside, locking the door behind me.

Panic flares up inside me and I run to the door. I pull and push on the door, trying to get it open, but it doesn't budge.

" Nice try, Louisa. " Janson says from behind me. I slowly turn around, scared of what I might see. When my eyes land on the stuff in the room, I know I had a right to be scared.

There is a table there with straps on either side. Another one rests beside it, a resting spot for numerous tools. My mind flashes back to the basement. The way they tortured people with the same things. The color drains from my face and Janson simply laughs. Two people are on either side of him—scientists I suppose.

" I see you know what these are for. " He says, and I look over at the wall. Several TV's are on the walls, each one showing a different part of WICKED. My eyes land on the one that shows the cafeteria. The Familiars are laughing, and smiling. Like they think they're safe. My eyes become glued to that screen, on Newt's face. His smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, but he's smiling. He's trying to be happy.

" What do you want? " I hiss.

" For you to do this without struggling. " He nods his head the scientists, and they walk over to me and grab my arms. I don't struggle because it's pointless. I'm trapped here. " As much as I'd love to stay and watch, I can't. " He smiles and leaves the room, flashing his key card at the scanner.

I look up at the scientists on either side of me, pleading for them to show me mercy. They simple smile, dragging me over to the table. The metal is cold against my skin. They force me to straighten my back out, and I hear a sickening crack as pain races up and down it. I grit my teeth as they strap me in. The leather straps are tight, and if I try to struggle my skin will go raw.

One of them grabs the scalpel, nearly shaking with excitement. The blade presses to my skin with a sting, but before it can cut too deep, his friend stops him.

" Wait, remember what Janson said. " He says, and the other one nods. He puts the scalpel back on the table next to this one and walks to the corner behind me. I hear shuffling, and then the sound of metal clicking into place. Next thing I know, this table is being elevated, the angle is changing. The bottom moves down and the top moves up until it reaches a 45 degree angle. Shock courses through my body.

I'm staring into a camera lens.

I change my focus onto the TV's behind it, and see another one of WICKED's slaves standing in the cafeteria, talking. Then, he gestures at the new monitors that decorate the wall. Their once black screens flicker on, and I find myself staring at me. My heart stops beating.

I watch as the scientists, now masked, approach from behind me. They each have a blade their hands, and I struggle against the bindings, fear pushing me to escape. I can hear my blood pulsing through my ears as they press their blades to my arms, just barely grazing the skin. I stare into the camera, pleading for someone to help me. But all I see is my own reflection through the black lens.

I scream as they push the knives into my skin.

Nandini is based off of my internet friend, AKA swagmaster5000. It's her birthday present. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A WEEK AGO.

I hope you enjoyed that. Next chapter in Newt's POV. IM SO EXCITED.

I'm going to the library now, bye!