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| semper memento |
please stop for a moment and look around you,
summer is harsh, fire-hot against scorching skin and burning scalps
autumn is calm before storm, a shade of cinnamon and tastes like gingerbread
winter is solitary, the world's lonely lady within dreamlike memory
spring is new beginning, a sweet hue of fuscia and smells like wildflowers
every season is beautiful, but also equally sad,
it keeps on shifting day by day, and even today,
the season changes its colors again
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it turns again, you know? the world. but please,
always remember to remember?
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author's babbling and a little bit warnings:
Hello… *nervous glances* Merry Late Christmas and Happy Early New Year! (,,•﹏•,,) Nice to see you again but please put away those fabulously sharp knifes! I come in peace! (T^T). Uh, welcome to chapter eight minna-san! Well, this chapter is going to be confusing as hell. Not like Owari no Seraph is not confusing tho (have you seen chapter 41? I'm fucking done. This fandom is truly and utterly cruel. Kagami-sensei is a genius sadist all right). It's like the beginning of a disaster I swear, but don't worry, I'm going to explain every single thing eventually, so please be patient. For now, let's just say that your imagination matters the most XD. Thank you for the reviews/favorites/follows! I'm sorry for the super long wait but please enjoy this chapter~
I dedicated this chapter to Suki-neesan and DS2 Dragon Slayer-san! Thank you for always cheering me on and here's your early New Year Present! You're both are really amazing! Kisses to you :)
disclaimer:
I do not own owari no seraph. If I do—you know what would happen XD.
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The pale, sickly moonlight shone through the creaks of her shallow windowpane, weaving string of dimmed glow upon her wan skin. Shinoa sighed softly against the silk around her body and pulled the fabric to cover her bare arms, blinking out the tiredness from her eyes.
Someone was standing by her door.
Shinoa swallowed bile down her closing throat and pulled her blanket closer. She hated stranger.
But that man in front of her was no stranger.
"What are you doing here?" she spat, her eyes sharp and jaded beyond her age. "This is my room, get out."
Kureto pushed himself from the ghastly colored wall and walked to her bed, his boots scraped the tiled floor beneath him. He stopped, bent down, and caught her wild, yet blank eyes with his own. "You have no right to boss over me. Remember your place."
The girl hissed and bit her lower lip hard, drawing blood. It tasted awful, the metallic tang which spilled across her tongue, yet the pain inside her mouth tasted fouler. "What do you want?"
"I just want to ask my cute little sister something." he shrugged.
"What?" she asked sharply.
"Have you made your mind?" he asked, an arrogant smirk stretched on his pale-skinned face.
That son of a bitch.
Shinoa bared her pointed teeth, wild tangerine orbs flashing red and crimson as anger pinched every nerve inside her body. How dare he? After all this time, how dare he?
He should have known better. Should have understood that she despised the likes of him.
"I better off dead, Onii-sama." she mocked and spat the blood at him. It stained his flawless coat, but she didn't care. "Get out."
The black haired man frowned, eyeing the red blotch with well-hidden disgust. "You sure have gotten cheeky."
"You bet." she smirked. "I won't be your puppet. Not now, or ever."
"You wouldn't say that," The girl flinched when a hand suddenly grabbed hers in a rough manner, before it twisted her small digits inside a tight grip. She felt her bones breaking. It hurt. "—when I kill that boyfriend of yours."
Shinoa widened her eyes, pools of chestnut opened in terror. Her body was numb. She was numb. "N-No. You wouldn't—you wouldn't dare."
"Try me." he chuckled, eyes shining in some kind of sadistic pleasure she felt her blood run cold.
No.
"Try me, imotou-chan."
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Guren pressed his palm against the frozen window glass and counted his measured breaths; the soft, steady melody of an untitled classical piece floating inside his vacant office. The tune reminded him of her, somehow. He remembered how she loved this song. He remembered how happy she was when she was singing with that beautiful voice of her. He remembered their promise to travel the world, just the two of them.
Just the two of them.
But she broke that promise.
( and the pieces? were gone. were forgotten as the time passed and her picture got even blurred within his black and white memories. )
"Oi Guren."
A familiar voice called from behind. Something inside him clenched, twisting and distorting like a never-ending loops it made his insides sting. It made him want to tear his heart out, the ache was antagonizing, but he buried the unknown feeling deep into the corner of his mind and wore another fake smile across his face.
"Yo. Nice to see you here."
The man sneered at him, raimeki strapped by his waist, glinting dangerously as if to warn him to not make a mistake. "We should start everything now." he commanded.
The feeling was back into the surface again, so did the disturbing echo within his mind. His head was hurting, and it was a torture to keep his pain from showing, but he couldn't show any weakness in front of this man. So he gritted his teeth, stilled his body, before he flashed him another strained smile. "Fine."
The thing was, it wasn't fine at all.
"You remember our agreement, right?"
No, he wanted to scream. I never agreed, he wanted to say. I never—
"Of course."
Traitorous, traitorous mouth.
"Good. Because I'll not hesitate to kill you if you forget."
—semper memento—
always remember
"She has always been weak at heart. Always been that vulnerable.
Just like her sister did."
"It's a sickening show to watch. Both of them, Hiiragi through bones and blood,
and yet they fell in love. How stupid is that?"
-
"Love is nothing but a liability. They should have known better
than loving a person
they could never have."
-Hiiragi Kureto-
the eight memory
[and blood is running blue]
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Shinoa feathered her fingers above her silken-silk emerald dress, smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles along the embroidered laces stapled on its edges. The material fell onto her feet in soft waves, blooming around her petite form it hugged her body with its tight strings and overlapping knots. Her hair swept by her shoulders down her back in loose curls, rose jewels and expensive diamonds pinned twin braids around her head, scintillating silver and golden between her pale lavender tresses.
Her surrounding was a splash of glittery neon lights and mosaic tiles, a glaring contrast against her ghostlike skin it was bursting with lively people and lively dress and lively colors across the ballroom.
And even though she was standing among a sea of people, Shinoa was solitary.
"Who is she? She's beautiful."
"That ashen hair, I think I have seen her once or twice in the past."
"Look! She is walking with Kureto-sama and Shinya-sama! How lucky to be her!"
"Wait. Have we ever met her before? She looks awfully familiar."
"Mahiru-sama! Is that Mahiru-sama?"
"She's a Hiiragi? Mahiru-sama's little sister? Well, her hair is certainly—"
"She's a Hiiragi, what do you expect?"
Shinoa closed her tangerine eyes, her breathing came in short puffs as she bit onto her glossed lip to calm her rattling heart. This was one of the reasons of why she hated society so much. It made her skin crawl, the thought that she would have to maintain her sugary-sweet smile and talk in hushes for the rest of night.
This place wasn't hers.
Her place wasn't here. She wasn't made for this resplendency.
Shinoa was made for open air meadow between late winter and spring, melting ice all around her she was the epitome of crisp frost raining down the earth. She was made for free-falling in cerulean blue sea, thumping waves hurtled against her skin that she could taste the salt across her tongue. She was made for adventure, running with everything she had and not trapped inside this suffocating box they called as society.
Tears pinpricked the corner of her eyes, her fingers shook, but then a warm hand overlapped her trembling-cold one, and she looked up to see her big brother's reassuring sky eyes staring down at her. That instant, she realized something.
She was made free, but now she was locked within a gold cage of her own misery.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, there is someone we want you to welcome into our honorable circle."
Shinoa breathed in and out. This is it, she thought.
"It's such a pity that she could not manage to join us sooner, but please welcome—"
No turning back anymore.
"Hiiragi Shinoa, our lady of salvation."
The clapping which erupted around her was deafening.
She walked forward into the blinding light.
.
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"This is Shijin Satoru." Kureto said bluntly, gesturing to a person beside him. "Please treat him well."
"Hello~" The ivory-haired, crimson-eyed boy chirped happily, waving a hand with a smile etched on his handsome face. "A pleasure to meet you, Noa-chan!"
She ignored him, her eyes hard on the concrete walls, her fingers tight between her fists. She didn't want to meet him—whoever he was, because he's Kureto-niisan's, and she hated him.
A sigh was weaved. She didn't know whether it came from Kureto-niisan or that unknown boy, but she wasn't going to open her mouth and that's it. She wasn't going to back down. She wasn't going to talk.
Not for him.
Not for anyone.
"Fine. I'll forgive you just this once." Kureto said after a moment of staring at the mute girl, then turned to the boy beside him. "You can do whatever you want with her, just don't be too rough."
Shinoa clenched her palms even more. She could feel the blood seeping past her scarred skin and nails, but instead of loosening her fists, she put more pressure that her sharp nails dug even deeper into her flesh. She needed the pain to control herself. The pain keeps me awake, she thought. It'll keep me awake.
"Nah, don't worry Kureto-sama." he grinned wolfishly. "I will behave. Thank you for your concern."
The man gave him a hard stare—like he was trying to read him, to decipher his nature, before he removed his eyes and exited the barren room, his midnight-colored coat bellowed behind him.
And then, all that's left was silence.
The person – the boy – was studying her from afar, though the distance was suddenly cut short when he began to stride towards her. She could hear his footsteps pitter-pattering against the tiles, the rustle of his clothes, and the smooth movement of his muscles clearly. Inside this hollow serenity, she noticed almost everything.
Even the muffled earth-shattering scream at the distance.
"So, Noa-chan," he began softly, like he was talking to a child. "Let's make this short, okay?"
She ignored him. He sighed.
"You don't want to talk? Fine. But please listen to me."
Another silence followed him.
He made a frustrated sound at the back of his throat. "You're still a stubborn head, aren't you? Please—"
Still?
Shinoa narrowed her eyes.
"…What do you mean by that?" she muttered under her breath. "I don't know you."
He paused walking. The screaming stopped. She still didn't raise her head.
"Yeah." he whispered, whether to himself or her, she didn't know, before he started to walk again. He was getting closer to her place. So, so close that she could already feel him crawling under her skin. "Perhaps you don't, but I know you."
The copper eyed girl frowned. "How?"
He smiled and took her hand in his.
"It's a secret." he said playfully. "Now, it's rude to ignore your guest, isn't it? At least look at me head on, Hiiragi Shinoa-sama."
That unknown boy was saying something absurd. Shinoa bit her lips and contemplated. What she was going to do? Acknowledging him was the same as losing, and she hated losing, especially to people she despised. But in the end her curiosity won. This boy in front of her, he didn't seem like he was dangerous. In fact, his voice felt nostalgic to her.
A voice that seemed so familiar, just who was this person?
So she looked up to find a smiling boy hovering after her. His pale hair and vibrant colored eyes reminded her of a past gone wrong.
「 Shinoa-chan? Shinoa! What the hell are you doing here? Run away from here they're going to—! 」
"…..just who are you?"
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"Satoru-san, please don't stand too close to me." she hissed low, a polite smile still etched on her pretty face. "And get your hands off my waist. It's unbecoming."
"Aw," The boy pouted, but did as he was told. "I'm having a great time, and it's not like I'm doing a bad thing, you're my—"
"Shut it. Or you prefer that I shut your mouth for you?" she glared.
The ivory-haired boy whistled. "Feisty, aren't you?"
Shinoa growled under her breath, flashing her sliver embed fan in front of her face she hid her frown from wandering eyes. It's not even midnight and she'd already begun to consider the possibility of escaping out from this hellhole for once and all.
Her eyes flickered around. There was still a lot of people went and by, dressed up in their stupid and too flashy clothes which cost them a lot of unnecessary fortune. She puffed. Rich assess.
After a few fake smiles and obviously forced courtesies, she glided across the dance floor, pulling him with her in the process. Her stupidly long dress and stupidly high heels were giving her a run of her money and yet she kept moving. They received a few annoying coos and jealous stares but she ignored it along with the twist in her stomach. Then, when she spotted an empty balcony a feet ahead, she halted into a mere stance before she pushed the boy in hurriedly.
"So," Satoru grinned wolfishly, watching as she closed the stained-glass door he leaned back into the porcelain rail behind him. "You finally acknowledge my good looks and decided to rape me, Noa-chan?"
"Pervert." she bit out venomously. "Now, why are you here?"
"I'm hurt." he said dramatically. "Of course because I'm your—"
"It's not official yet." she interjected him before the dreaded word came from his mouth. Why she agreed to deal with this annoying boy, she didn't know. He was almost as bad as Yuu-san—
「 I want to kiss you—! 」
Yuu-san… huh?
「 I'm sorry, just…. forget it. Forget everything I said…. 」
She thought of his arms around her, their foreheads touching. She thought of his green, green eyes, blazing sharp. She thought of his bittersweet smile; the way his tears fell; the way he murmured her name. She thought of his warm hands; the wild expression upon his face when he saw her that serene night; the tender kisses he left against her skin. She thought of it all.
Shinoa thought of his desperate cries of please let me in; let me help you; let me save you! and wished that she could take everything back because she didn't ask for this—this laughable, stupid, stupid, feelings.
I take it back, I take it back so please—!
Remembering him made something within her break. She was already warped from the start, barely standing between the fine line of sanity and madness, she was bound to fall down anytime and that stupid boy had warped it further. A thin piece of thread waiting to be cut down, she was fragile, breakable. She didn't need him weighing on her shoulder too, no matter how important he was to her, she needed to control her emotions or else she was going to fail and—
No. Shinoa didn't want to think about the consequence of failing that man.
You have to calm down, she told herself, breathing in and out, and tried to focus on the reality instead. She would deal with her conflicted feelings later. "So, why you're here?"
"It's getting annoying how you always interrupted me." he shook his head, frowning a little. "But to answer your question; I belong here. Even though my status as a Hiiragi is still a secret, I'm from the notorious Shijin family, of course I'll be here."
Shinoa licked her lips. "Is that all? Did Kureto-niisan give you a—"
"How many times I should remind you that I do not work for Hiiragis." he snapped, his dull eyes darkening into lava-red. "You may find this unbelievable but I'm not some idiot who bends on their beck and call just like that adopted brother of yours."
"Watch your mouth." she snarled, copper eyes flashing dangerously. He did not just insult her brother right in her face. He did not.
Satoru leaned forward and twirled her hair between his long fingers. "Make me."
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.
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"Guren, what are you planning now?"
The man's lips curved at the question. "I don't think I understand. Care to explain?"
"Stop lying." Shinya said sharply. "Stop pretending. What are you planning with Kureto-niisan? Who is that boy? What the hell happened to you!" he raised his voice as the anxiety began to build in him. "I—You are the one who want to save Shinoa-chan the most but now—" he paused, "What… just what happened to you….?"
Guren smiled again, too fake, too bright and Shinya was reminded of another when he saw that smile. "Nothing happened. I'm just trying to protect her, you know?"
"By selling her out to the Hiiragi family?" he asked, incredulous. "By making her live a living hell?"
"No." his eyes darkened. "By helping her control the 《oni 》 so she won't die."
"…..what are you?" he blinked, a flash of confusion crossed his sky eyes. "I don't understand…."
"I guess I should have told you from the beginning." Guren's smile faded a little, the hard lines upon his face softened, and he seemed different again—like he was changing back and forth from one personality to another, and it made Shinya even more confused than he already was. "Mahiru's dead because of the strain brought by two demons inside her body. She was breaking little by little, being forced to endure the pain as the insanity began to take over, and—"
"Mahiru's not dead." he cut him off, smiling forlornly. He didn't know what happened to him, but he wouldn't let him use Mahiru as his excuse anymore. He'd used her a lot, just like she used him, in the past, and even now. "And I know that already, she was—Mahiru was trying pretty hard to save Shinoa, but the things she did—" he stopped and shot Guren a pleading look. "Please don't make the same mistakes."
"You're a fool, Shinya." The man's violet eyes hardened. "Not everything is black and white. Do you really think that Kureto will let Shinoa die?"
"Yes." he said in a heartbeat, no hesitation, no regret. "Many things have changed in all these years, and he too—" he shook his head, silvery strands falling into his eyes. "Kureto-niisan is not the same."
"So do I." Guren whispered low, his voice sounded like a stranger. "So do I, Shinya. I have changed too."
Shinya clenched his hand. "…..what are you planning?"
He gave the man a lazy smirk. "Now that I know you clearly don't support my ideas, I can't tell you anything."
"Guren—" he took his shoulders in a tight grip. "What are you planning?"
The man smiled again, and for a spilt of second, his eyes gleamed red. Shinya leapt back without a second thought when he caught that sinister gaze upon his face. Something about him was off. It was scaring him. Just what he's playing now?
"Just wait and see," he heard him whispered. "I'm not going to let her die again."
Shinya widened his eyes at his words, the air around them suddenly felt tense and thick against his skin. Inside his mind, Byakkomaru was clawing at his cage, getting restless as the time passed. The demon was screaming incoherently at him, not even forming a word but he knew what it was trying to say.
「 Run—! 」
Shinya took in a calming breath, his weapon materializing before him in a smoke of black ashes.
"You're not Guren." he hissed. "Just who are you?"
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"The hell with those annoying noises?"
"Ah. It's probably the higher ups party, Yuu-kun."
"Party?" he scowled. "Che. Rich assess."
Yoichi chuckled a little, eyes shaped crescents. "Well, the Hiragis always host one of these parties once a month, I think. I'm surprised that you'd never heard about them before."
"It's not important." he rolled his eyes and leaned back into his bedpost. "So, why are you here again?"
There was a moment of silence as he gave the fidgeting boy an impatient stare. Yoichi bit his lip, contemplating. He wasn't quite the smooth talker, but he needed to help him somehow, like he'd helped him a countless time before. But it was so hard, to find the right words inside his mind, and it was even harder to form the syllables at the tip of his tongue.
"Yuu-kun," he began with a small voice. "Ano…. is there something you want to tell me?"
Yuichiro pursed his lips into a tight line, eyes hardening into dull emerald. "I don't understand what you're talking about."
"There's something wrong." his eyes softened. He was lying at him, that boy. "I know there's something wrong. Please tell me, ne?"
"Why you—" he gritted his teeth, his eyebrows furrowed angrily. "I told you there's nothing!"
"Is it about Shinoa-san?" he said calmly, and watched as the boy gone stock-still at the mention of her name.
One name and Yuichiro (proud, proud Yuichiro) was rendered speechless.
Yuichiro gritted his teeth, hard. His heart was hurting, just like his head, and everything felt like a nightmare when he thought about her. But his live revolved around her, and even now, when he was miles away from that girl he could still picture her broken smile and glassy eyes and he didn't know what to do. He wanted to meet her, to apologize for his mistakes but he was afraid and Yoichi—
Yoichi knew everything.
"Y-Yeah. I guess…" he whispered, blinking his vision into the blur of window glass he drew a calming breath. Panicking wouldn't do him any good now. "I—Well, everything is a mess. And I don't know what to feel and her—Shinoa is not helping. I'm just—I ruined everything."
The cinnamon haired boy tipped his head. "What do you mean?"
"Have you—" he swallowed hard. "Have you ever made a mistake?"
"Of course I have, Yuu-kun." Yoichi was all smiles and laughs but it made the cold inside him intensified even more. "Every one of us, human, is not immune from making mistakes. To be wrong is normal. To sin is normal."
"But I—I've done something I shouldn't have." he mumbled, shifting his eyes into the steel chair beside him. "I said something taboo. I shouldn't have said it in the first place. I should have known better." he paused to give him a desperate look.
"—and now it's gone."
Suddenly, silence washed over them in tranquility. Only soft intake of breaths was heard and the occasional creaks of the wooden floor. Yoichi shifted uneasily in his chair, fear crawling up his arms as his heartbeat hammered loudly within his ears. He didn't know if he was ready for his answer, but he asked anyway.
"….what is?"
"Us."
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"You and that shorty scare the hell out of me, so spill."
"The hell are you doing here?" Yuichiro said, looking down to a bundle which sleeping on his couch, unmoving. "First Yoichi, and now you. What is this? A freaking bully-on-yuichiro day?"
"We bully you daily." Kimizuki deadpanned. "Now talk."
"Shut it, telephone pole." he snorted.
"Fine. Insult me. How mature of you." he rolled his eyes.
"I'm mature." The seafoam eyed boy muttered. "You're the immature one."
"See?" Kimizuki shook his head in exasperation. "Just spill it, yeah? It's exhausting to watch the two of you. I mean, cold war? Are you a child?"
"It's not cold war. And we're fine." he muttered under his breath. It seemed like his stubbornness was still intact, if not it was getting even bigger now. "Stop assuming things."
"Then what?" Kimizuki raised an eyebrow. "It's been two months since she woke up and yet you never went to see her even once. Am I mistaken to say that you're being a child now? You'd been the most persistent out of us, screaming about seeing her and here you are, locking yourself away and you dare to tell me that the two of you are fine?"
"I know, okay!" he said, frustrated. "There's just something you couldn't fix! And I have had enough of it. I just—I can't see her right now, not when I'm still such a mess." his eyes fell into his outstretched hands. Two months ago, he was holding her between his arms. Two months ago, she was smiling at him. Two months ago, they were together.
But not anymore.
Yuichiro sighed. "No. Not when I'm still lost. I just—dammit."
"What is it?" he asked quietly. He had his full attention on him now. "I won't judge you, and you know it."
"I—I told her that I want to kiss her." he whispered, closing his eyes. His words tasted bitter on his tongue. "I told her that I want her, how fucked up was that?" he laughed weakly.
Kimizuki was silent for a moment, careful eyes lingering on the boy's pained face before he opened his mouth again.
"So you want to say that you love her?"
"I love—what?" he widened his eyes. "What are you—?"
"You love her." he said. "That's why you want to kiss her. Isn't that obvious?"
Yuichiro clamped his mouth shut, face paling to translucence. "…shit."
"Yeah." Kimizuki chuckled. "Shit."
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.
.
"What's wrong with love, anyway?" Kimizuki asked, flipping a rectangular object between his index and middle fingers with ease. "You look scared."
"Hell yeah I am." The questioned boy grimaced. "There's nothing wrong with love, it's me who's wrong."
"You." he grunted. "Fine. Let me rephrase it. What's wrong with you?"
"I can't love her." he whispered, biting his lower lip hard. "I just… can't. It's not supposed to be."
"You love your family. You love our squad." he drawled, eyebrows went past his hairline. He could be really confusing at times. "What's wrong with loving her then?"
"That's different." he muttered, his fingers between his messy hair. "I didn't mean familial love but—"
"Oh."Kimizuki blinked his eyes in realization before an amused smile split his face in two. "You mean romantic love."
"That." he agreed, flinching slightly as if he were stung. "I just—I'm not ready for it."
"Then," he paused to give him a challenging stare, catching the silver box inside his palm in one sweep of a motion. "When will you be ready for it?"
A pause.
"I don't know." he cringed.
Kimizuki sighed. "You know, you're such a fool."
"Huh—!" he paused when a tiny box smacked his face. "What the—"
"Try to apologize for starters, you moron." he said, exasperated.
"The hell was that for…" he massaged his sore nose as he glared heatedly at him. " I know that already…"
"Yeah yeah. Whatever you said." Kimizuki said, completely ignoring the death-glare aimed at him as he was looking out the glass window. "It's getting late, though."
Yuichiro set the box down after staring at it for a minute. Even though he was being completely annoying, the bastard was right. He needed to apologize to her for all the stupid things he'd done. He sighed and brought a glass of puffing coffee into his lips. How nice for that stupid delinquent to make him one.
Still, he was still angry for that throw because hell, it's fucking hurt.
"Those stuck-up bastards." he said after a moment staring at the glittery light across his window. It was still busy out there. "Honestly, it's getting annoying."
"Well, it's the higher ups." he shrugged down, sipping down his own coffee. "I expected no less."
Yuichiro snorted. That was true. "Those rich asses only know to party, don't they?"
"If you put it that way." he smirked.
That ended their meaningless conversation. Yuichiro gripped his blanket around him closer. The night was going late, it's autumn now, almost bordering to winter and the cold had never been this painful before. Mother frost was his favorite, but today the winter's crisp only dampened his mood when it reminded him of her.
Shinoa hated cold. She despised it, and yet he loved the cold with every fibre of him.
He smiled. The irony.
The two of them weren't fated to be together, were they?
"Oi," he blinked when Kimizuki started talked again. "Do you think Shinoa and Mitsuba are there? They are from noble families after all."
"Mitsuba might." he said quietly, somehow her name sounded weird when it rolled by his tongue. It'd been a long time too since he spoke to her since that eventful night. "I'm not sure about Shinoa, though."
"….I guess." The peach haired boy said after a moment of staring. "You're sharper than you look, I didn't think you would ever notice it."
"I didn't." Yuichiro cringed in shame.
"…hah?" Kimizuki put his mug down and raised an eyebrow at him. "You didn't?"
"She told me." he sighed. "She told me that her family hates her. If not for that, I won't notice at all."
"You sure are cruel." The bespectacled boy said, whistling. "You should have realized it the first time you met her. She's a Hiragi, as in that Hiragi, and yet her rank is sergeant. It's unheard of, unless there's something wrong with her relationship with her family or—"
"I know!" he bit out. "I know I'm such an idiot but for me it's not important. Shinoa is important. Her family's worth, her reputation, I don't give a damn. It's just… I didn't think that it would be like this. I'd thought—"
"She grew happy?" Kimizuki cut him, smiling bitterly. "With the amount of smiles I would have thought the same but—"
"They're fake, aren't they?" Yuichiro chuckled humorously. "Have she ever smiled for real?"
"…..I don't know." he whispered. "But I hope so."
.
.
"Why haven't you go the hell out from my room, anyway?" Yuichiro threw a pillow to his direction with his monstrous strength; an act of vengeance, perhaps. "Your presence makes me wanna puke."
"Suck it up, baka." he chucked a pillow back at him, growling like an animal. "I'm tasked to watch over you. Now shut up."
"I don't need a babysitter." he frowned. He definitely wasn't a child anymore. Why could he see that?
"Tell that to Guren-chusa." Kimizuki drawled, an annoyed expression upon his face. "I'm just doing my job."
"Fuck off, Kimizuki." he hissed. "There's no way I could sleep with you in here. Just go back to your room—"
Then, there was a rattle by the door, startling them up.
"Hey, you heard that?"Yuichiro whispered, rising from his bed as quietly as he could manage. It was two in the morning for god's sake, just what kind of sane person came to visit in such an hour?
"Yeah." Kimizuki narrowed his eyes, alarmed. "Let's check it up."
The moved through the narrow hall, minding their steps. Yuichiro didn't know why, but he had bad feelings about this.
They opened the door to find a familiar ivory-haired man standing by his entrance, looking as though he came from a raging battleground. His attire was in tatters, his hair mussed-up, matted with sweat and blood, and there were bruises and scratches all over his pale skin. He was oozing blood everywhere, but his eyes were sharp and seeing.
"Yuu-chan." he said between painful gasps. "Please help her."
.
.
"It's time for waltz." Satoru craned his head back into the ballroom when the flow of the music changed. "Come on, let's hit the floor." he said cheerfully, clasping her hand inside his bigger ones.
"Why should I?" she frowned and pull her hand away as if she were being burned. "You go."
The boy rolled his eyes at her stubbornness before he gripped her wrist again, tighter this time around. "We're together in this. Let's go."
"I'd never said that I approved of this stupid plan of yours." she frowned.
"Gezz." he raked a hand through his long bangs. He really liked this girl but sometimes she'd got on his nerves. Apparently her cute face and flawless appearance couldn't tone down that stubbornness of hers even just a little. "Just follow me okay? You're getting annoying."
With a sharp jerk he brought her into the glittery ballroom. There was a lot of people who stopped to give them a slight bow and admiring stares, before they were back to dancing again. Taking a place right at the center of the ballroom, he swung her body to fit his, an arm around her hips and another was gripping her tiny palm.
Then, when the music began to pick up again, he guided her through the mess of colorful people, slowly moving in accordance with the beautiful melody. Shinoa had never danced before, and even though she was trained how, she wasn't important enough to attend any banquet back in her childhood. And years later, after her sister's wrongdoings, she wasn't even allowed to attend one—not that she wanted to.
But it changed tonight.
All of it.
( she didn't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, honestly. )
The music altered its color again, she noticed; the buoyant rhythm of the previous symphony melted into soft ballads. She fell into a step with him, dancing gracefully despite her discontentment. They were still looking at her, those nameless faces. Not liking the way countless of eyes following their every moves, she shifted her attention on her partner slash enemy instead, trying to figure him out.
His identity, his motive, his loyalty, his desire—all of it were obscure, blurry, just like a reflection upon steady water which could dissolve anytime once you put even a finger on it. He was mysterious, empty, almost; just like a blank canvas ready to be painted. She didn't know what he wanted from her.
This boy did not seem like one to be attached on a person alone. But he also did not seem like a turncoat either.
So what he was exactly?
What drove him to make such an arrangement with her?
"Oi." his low whisper startled her from her musings. "The formation is going to change. I know that I'm irresistible, but it's time to get your mind out the gutter, princess." he teased.
That incorrigible piece of—
Before she knew it, Shinoa found herself being swept by a countless of faces she didn't know of. And everything happened so fast, before a hand was curled around her small body, stopping her blurry world from overhelming her senses. With her vision still a messy smudge, she put her palms on the stranger's chest, pushing weakly to free herself from his hold.
"Stop struggling." The stranger's voice was low and hard when he whispered to her ears, his hot breath searing her earlobe into lava. Something was familiar with his voice, but she couldn't pinpoint what it was. "I'm not going to hurt you."
A small wince escaped from her mouth when his hand suddenly moved around her petite form to land by her back. She bit her lips. His touch was familiar too.
"Here, Shinoa." he whispered again, and she had to wonder how he knew her name, but the thought was soon forgotten when she remembered that almost everyone inside that room had already informed about her name.
But still, she was curious. Though curiosity never turned out good for her, her heart was aching to look at this unknown person holding her. Something about him was familiar, and she wanted to know what it was.
Yet, when she finally raised her head, what she was seeing made her blood run cold.
"Y-Yuu-san!"
The surprise was almost laughable, and the panic which rose within her almost made her shriek but she held her voice down.
He was here.
The person she was dying to meet was standing in front of her, only a breath away, all dressed up and polite and she—she didn't know what to say, or do, in this kind of situation.
Shinoa was lost.
"Why—How come—?"
"Shinya-san sent me." he said, grinning uneasily at her.
The panic within her escalated even more, her eyes opened wide that she was sure they were going to fall out from their sockets if she were to move even an inch. "Shinya-niisan? W-Why?"
"I'll explain later." he said, apologetic. "For now let's escape."
"How?"
He smirked down at her, and she had to fight by the blush from her cheeks. No! Stupid brain! It's not the time!
"Let me show you."
And the next thing she knew—
They were running.
.
.
.
"Damn. That was scary."
Yuichiro sighed tiredly, even though it was only for a few minutes of dancing around that damned hall, his foot felt like they were about to snap. Flicking his vision away from the glittering crowds, he set his eyes on her, the dead-silent girl. Eerily blank expression was plastered upon her ivory face, her lips pale, her eyes empty; she didn't resemble the girl he knew. Not the Shinoa he knew of, at least.
And honestly, it made him a little bit afraid.
"Oi, Shinoa, say something." he said, forcing a smile by his handsome face. The situation on hand and the slight anger reflected across her orbs were rattling his bones. The moment he saw her inside that room, all dolled up like a princess from his long forgotten storybook, he had almost lost the reason of why he was standing in this place. He knew that his time was not much, only a few minutes before the waltz ended, and in that short span of time he needed to get here out from here.
But why he could not move his foot?
"What are you doing here?" she coldly asked, her eyes never leaving his. "Why? Yuu-san."
The boy felt like he was being burned. Flinching uncomfortably from the red gaze directed on him, he threw his face to the side. "I've told you, Shinya-san sent me here."
"And you agreed?" she pushed, her tone somehow mocking. Mocking him—as though he weren't accepted here, as though he were in the wrong place and wrong time.
As though she didn't want to see him.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a steady breath. Breathed in, breathed out. He told himself to keep on going, despite his brain calling on him to run away from her.
"Why wouldn't I?"
She laughed, and there was a slight sadness and bitterness inside that laugh. "After all this time ignoring me, I didn't think you would agree to meet me."
"I—" he bit his lips and moved closer. No, she was wrong. He wanted to meet her more than she believed. "Shinoa listen I'm—"
"Don't." she whispered and put a hand on his chest. "Don't say anything."
It was a warning. A threat of don't you dare come any closer and he did, he stopped even though he didn't want to.
Because Shinoa sounded like she was going to cry.
The winter's air swept by them, caressing their hair softly. The moon was high above, illuminating them by pale-honey light; radiant stripes of silver upon their crossed shadows. The clock was ticking, the silence was deafening, and when he couldn't take it anymore—the silence—he moved forward.
He was moving towards her, slowly, before he stopped when he was only a breath away. She was still looking away, refusing to catch his eyes. But then, something cool touched the column of her neck, silvery glint appeared form the corner of her eyes.
It was a necklace. A snow shaped necklace.
"….why?" she asked, her voice whisper-like. It was the only word she could think of right now, her mind was a mess. "Why did you…?"
"It's a gift." he muttered, blood rushing in to his cheeks. "Well, uh, I want to apologize for—for everything, but I don't know if you will forgive me and Yoichi said that girls like glittery things like jewelry so I—"
A gift… huh?
This stupid, stupid boy. She loved him so much that it was ridiculous.
"It's enough, Yuu-san." she cut him off, an amused smile playing on her lips. "You're babbling."
"….yeah. Sorry, I just—" his rigid, almost stone-like posture softened. He looked like he was relieved; for the weight he had been bearing was finally lifted from his tired shoulders. He looked happier, somehow. "I just want to apologize properly…."
Shinoa curled a smile. He was really stupid, wasn't he?
A laugh bubbled inside her throat, and she let it go, watching as the boy blinked his eyes in confusion.
"Stupid Yuu-san." she said softly after her laughter had subdued down, clasping the tiny snowflake inside her palm her eyes were clouded with unnamed emotions. "Thank you. It's really beautiful…."
Yuichiro felt his cheeks burning even brighter when he saw her smile. He didn't know why. Perhaps it was the moonlight. Or perhaps it was her appearance; because she was wearing a dress tonight, just like a faraway princess in some fairy tales he didn't know of. She let her hair down too, it was long and wavy and it was stunning.
He always knew that Shinoa was a beauty since the first time they met.
But tonight was special.
"You look beautiful."
Shinoa blinked her eyes at the unexpected compliment. She must be imagining things. There's now way that—
"You look beautiful, Shinoa." he repeated again, as if he were reading her thought.
"W-What are you—" she stuttered, blood rushing to her cheeks. "It's not time for joking—"
"I'm not joking." he said. "I'm not."
Yuichiro fixed his intense green eyes at her; the same ones which had seen her crying her eyes out in that hospital room; the same ones which had seen her smiling bitterly and had seen her at her very worst; the same ones which had seen her reaching her breaking point.
The same eyes which had seen through her perfect mask and weakness.
The same eyes which she fell in love with.
"May I have this dance?"
And suddenly, Shinoa was back into that room again. Staring at his bright seafoam eyes, she was dreaming once more.
Sitting on that washed-out white hospital bed, pale moonlight shone against their skin; she was a girl who fell in love with a boy she met in her fifteenth year of life.
Her heartbeats were loud inside her ears, her face heating up, but a smile was present on her angelic face.
"Yes you may."
Only by the void balcony, with an almost unheard music by their side, they were dancing. It wasn't supposed to be. He supposed to drag her away from this hellish place—if Shinya-san broken and battered body was any indication he should have run the moment he found her but he couldn't. Not when she was here—looking heavenly beautiful and smiling at him.
He couldn't.
"I missed you." he whispered, nuzzling his nose into her hair. "God, I missed you so much."
"If you missed me," she shook her head, "Why wouldn't you ever visit me?"
"I'm sorry." he sighed. "I was such a coward. I don't want to meet you when I'm still lost. I know you're confused about my words from back then—" he paused to catch his breath. "I—It's okay if you hate me, but will you give me another chance?"
"You know I will never hate you." she whispered. "You know."
"Yeah." he breathed out. "Thank you, Shinoa."
"Your welcome, Yuu-san." she whispered back.
The melody was fading, but she was all he could think about. Her face, her eyes, her lips—she was real. Not a figment of his imagination, but the real thing.
There was heat inside his heart, a burning flame, and suddenly he wanted to kiss her. To touch her. To taste her. The urge was primal and primordial, it frightened him with its intensity and it was getting even more intense than before, more stronger that he was literally searing with wanting. Such an animalistic thing, he didn't know how to repress it anymore.
So he dropped his head to level her, before he brushed her bangs aside and left a kiss on her forehead. It was just a peck—nothing harmless, then he moved down, staring into her wide and beautiful orbs for a moment, bright with emotions he couldn't read, and kissed the corner of her eyes. Then down, to her button nose, leaving another kiss, before he froze when he was only a breath upon her lips.
Should he kiss her? The girl hadn't stopped him so far, she was only staring at him with that unfathomable eyes of hers, unmoving. Her cheeks were flaming bright with embarrassment, but she just stood there, waiting for him to make a move. Waiting for him to decide.
Is it worth it? He asked himself again. Is it really worth it?
He didn't know for sure. And yet today, he thought as he moved his face closer, I want to be selfish.
( just for today. )
But then, a bloodcurdling scream tore the thick silence in half.
And a second after that, the heaven fell upon them.
—tbc?
author's note:
I'M DEAD. DEAD. LIKE, REALLY, REALLY DEAD. UH-HUH. THIS CHAPTER KILLED ME.
Ahem, sorry about that. It's been a long, very long, long time since I updated this story and damn I think I'm losing my touch. Things have escalated too quickly and I know you must have some questions regarding this chapter, mainly:
1. What the hell Evil Eyebrows is doing towards Shinoa? The answer is, for me to know and you to find out :)
2. Shinoa is a Hiiragi princess now? The answer is likely. I mean, it's not like she's not a Hiiragi princess before but now she has the whole society kissing her ass and to put it bluntly, she is Mahiru replacement.
3. The fuck happened to Guren? Is he working together with Kureto? He hurt Shinya-bae? What the hell? Ah well, that. I'm sure the latest manga chapter and anime final can answer that question. Unless you're skipping the whole thing, then I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about.
4. Who is that Shinya-wannabe and what he's planning on Shinoa? What's the deal with this ''arrangement'' between them? The answer is again, for me to know and you to find out XD.
5. Is he handsome? HELL YEAH HE IS XD. We need more bishies. Like Shinya-bishies. Or something like that, seriously.
6. Where is Micchan? Well, she's in the middle of crisis somewhere but you'll see her sooner or later. Just keep hoping.
7. What the hell with that ship-tease huh? HUH? I DID NOT SIGN FOR THIS. Lol sorry. But you know me, I love to mess with you all. And let me assure you, they will have their kiss but unfortunately they have an evil eyebrow, a mad househusband, and shinya-bae wannabe on their kill-list so the smooching need to wait, okay? That was a close one tho….
8. What the fuck exactly happened? Why they need to run away? Where's Shinya? HE CAN'T BE DEAD YOU EVIL WITCH. Nah, I'm gonna answer that in later chapters. AND OF COURSE HE'S NOT DEAD HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF KILLING MY BAE.
9. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Sorry, dear readers, first I want to apologize because I was being totally irresponsible and childish. Well, you see, the rude anon from the previous chapters was harassing me weeks after I updated chapter seven. That kinda put my mood down, still, I tried to tell myself that they would stop eventually but surprise~! They didn't.
So I put this story on hold and wrote another oneshot instead, then after a while, thanks god, they'd stopped. But it's been a month and half and I kinda lost my will to continue this story. Not to mention I was trapped inside a hell we call as university so writing is the least I had in my mind, so really, forgive this pitiful me. I hope you enjoy this chapter though!
And of course, thank you for the reviews minna-san! If not for you all cheering me up, I would never finished this chapter, so thank you so much! I really am grateful and don't worry I'm going to answer them in the next chapter (only the guest ones though, from now on I will personally reply for you who have an account so please stay tuned! And if there's some question you wanna ask, it's okay to PM me too, I'll answer them as soon as I can *smiles*). See you in chapter nine :)
Care to leave a comment or two? :)
-Hinoiri Lwin-