A/N: Okay I'm going to keep this short and sweet because this is literally the longest chapter ever! I hope you don't all get bored but so much happened! Elena's diary is much shorter, but you'll find out why and we're pretending that she wrote it while she was waiting for Elijah to wake up. Bring popcorn and enjoy the show! I own nothing.
The Last Dance
"You light up my life, you arrive and the night is alive
We made a connection, a full on chemical reaction
Brought by dark divine intervention
Beneath a canopy of stars I'd shed blood for you"
Stefan and I are hovering outside while Elena is inside taking ownership of her new house, namely, the friendly vampire house. I'm not entirely sure what would happen when a non-invited vampire is inside the house but I do know that I definitely don't really wanna find out.
"You really think Bonnie can take on Klaus?" I ask my brother, I mean I'd like to hope so but she's just a...baby witch and Klaus is kinda the real deal. "She said she could channel enough witches power to kill him. Elijah thought that would work and he was an Original so..." hmm well that is true so "just need to find him" and how does one go about finding the oldest, strongest vampire in the world?
"Can she do one of those witch tracking spells?" – "Nope. Not without something that belongs to Klaus" well dammit, thought I had a good thing going for a minute there.
"Do you think he killed her?" Katherine. She's been missing, gone, ever since she vervained Stefan at the Lockwood's and given what we know happened to Isobel it's only logical to assume that Klaus caught up to her too. "Probably" Stefan eventually replies "It's not like she didn't have it comin'" even still, I can't help but feel a little sorry for the girl. She spent her whole life running from the guy only to be captured in the cursed town that pretty much started it all. "Yeah" Stefan replies so quietly that if I wasn't a vampire I wouldn't hear him, I'm pretty sure he agrees with me, not that we'll ever say it out loud.
Ah wonderful, Elena's all done with Mr. Henry and we...can't get in. Right, forgot about that for a second. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot" don't worry 'Lena, apparently it's a common mistake.
"Stefan, would you like to come inside my house?" I know she's just teasing but damn if those words 'my house' don't make me feel like a kid who got all the candy. She belongs here, safe house or not. "What are we 12?" I ask when she doesn't invite me in. "One of us is" oh don't be grumpy with me Elena, I didn't do anything wrong...yet. I feel like I should add that addendum from now on, because for sure it won't be long until I do something wrong.
"If I let you in do you promise to obey the owner of this house?" – "No" – "Seriously Damon, my way. You promised." Oh yeah, forgot about that too, I guess I did. "I call the shots. No lies, no secret agendas. Remember?" see this is what I get for making promises I know damn well I can't keep. "Yes Elena. Sure" now let me in my damn house. "Then please, come in" well thank you Little Miss Smirky. I think she's been spending too much time with me; I'm becoming a bad influence. Oh the horror.
"Wait. Where are you going?" going? What? Huh? "To school" huh? "Huh?" that's what I said!
"No. No. No. We didn't create a safe house for you to leave it" – "Right...look I really appreciate what you guys are doing and I'll be able to sleep at night knowing that I'll be safe here but I'm not gonna be a prisoner" wow this girl has a death wish a mile long.
"You way. Elena" well what the fuck else can I do? Short of tying her up or trapping her I'm not really seeing a lot of other options here. "Don't worry, I'm ready. If he shows his face I can take him" uh-huh that's not really all that reassuring, one little witch? "The way I see it, next to Bonnie is the safest place I can be" and they're leaving. Dammit I am really not okay with this, I shoot Stefan a look and apparently he feels much the same as I do, I can't go to high school. But he can. "Wait I'm...coming" crazy. That's what they are. All of them. Crazy.
I don't know how to continue saving someone who is desperately trying to get herself killed. It seems like every other day she comes up with a new scheme to sacrifice herself. And I know it's only school but surely even she must see the stupidity in this? But again I ask, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? I'll just keep working quietly on the sidelines, keeping her alive. Screw promises, I'll do whatever needs to be done, whatever it takes.
And whadd'ya know? School didn't turn out to be all that safe after all. They come rushing home to tell me that Klaus compelled some girl at school to talk to Elena, let her know that he's gonna be at the Decade Dance tonight, seriously those dances should just be banned.
"So we go to the dance and find him" – "Really? How are we gonna do that? We don't even know what he looks like" oh for god sake Stefan "Something tells me he's not gonna be 16 and pimply" – "But he could be anywhere at any time" precisely brother, which is why we have to try and do something, we can't just sit around and wait forever.
Oh great Ric's finally arrived "Hey I need you to put me down as a chaperone at the dance tonight. Klaus made his first move" – "Okay so we find him and then what hm? What's our plan of attack?" great question Elena. "Me. I'm the plan" Bonnie says and...Yep we're back to the part that I'm less than confident in. "He has no idea how much power I can channel. If you can find him I can kill him" I like her confidence, I'm just not convinced I share it.
"He is the biggest baddest vampire around" exactly Ric, and screw Klaus for stealing my title too. "Alaric has a point, I mean what if he..." I rush towards Bonnie and then I'm flying, through the air and I'm crashing and that was both painful and undignified. However it does do a lot to boost my confidence in Sabrina so it's not all bad.
"Well I'm impressed" yeah yeah Stef we're all fucking impressed. "It doesn't matter if he's an Original. I can take down anyone who comes at me. I can kill him Elena, I know I can" great well now that we've settled that we can go get ready for another fun-filled Decade Dance. Wonder if I'll actually get to dance with Elena at this one.
"...Twiggy or sexy hippie?" I hear Elena ask Stefan and although I can't see through walls I vote sexy hippie every time. I'm ready to go so I'm leisurely hovering outside Stefan's bedroom, "I love you" – "I want you to tell me that when the night is over" please meet my brother, the village idiot. When Elena tells you she loves you, you say it back. Every time.
"Anytime tonight" hi! Sorry to ruin the moment, only...I'm not. At all. We got a dance to go to and an Original to kill and they're not even dressed so come on, let's get going people.
And she went for sexy hippie. Yes! I think I look pretty damn sexy myself, what a pair we make, only, we don't. Yeah. Sucks to be me.
"...I can't just let you get yourself killed" huh? What's this now? Baby Gilbert is talking to the witch "just because a bunch of dead witches gave me a warning doesn't mean I'm gonna die" oh...dear. Hmmm this can't be good. "So you're saying there's a 50-50 shot you won't?" I do not much like those odds. "I'm empowered Jeremy, I can do this. I know I can. I'm strong enough" lying. I'm pre-tty sure she's lying. Time to make myself known and I walk out where she can see me "Damon" ye-ep "Evenin'" yeah, heard every word love.
"This is for Elena...from Klaus" oh man you gotta be kidding me. This is dedicated my ass. "That was a lame cheap shot" what a creep "he's trying to bait us" – "I know everyone here" – "maybe he's not here" oh he's here Stefan, or he will be. I'm sure of it. "It's a party people, blend" Bonnie gets the hint and drags Baby Gilbert off to dance and I spot Ric in the crowd. "I'll be back" I tell Stefan and Elena.
"Special dedication huh? This guy's a little twisted" twisted? Really Ric, have you met me? "I'm not impressed" creepy? Yes. Twisted? No. "Let me know if you see anything outta whack" I tell him and start taking a little stroll through the crowd. I'm approaching Stefan and Elena when he indicates for me to dance with her.
Why yes Stefan, I'd love to dance with your girlfriend. It's been a while since we did that after all. I catch her hand and pull her in close to me and I love that little gasp when she realises it's me.
"How you doin'?" – "Umm...freaking out a bit" aw 'Lena come on, it's a dance honey, lighten up. "You?" I show off my non-fancy dance moves to see if I can't cheer her up a bit "cool as a cucumber. Come on remember the last Decade Dance? The vampires were all 'aaargh' and you were all 'aaah'" yes! I got her to laugh. Good work Salvatore.
"Right. And...we won" yes we did honey. I grab her wrists and pull her hands to my chest and god I love touching her. "Yes. We did" and we will again. I spin her out and back into me and I relish in that breathy little moan and her eyes, oh her eyes on my mouth again. How I wish she would just do it. Screw Stefan, screw Klaus, screw everything. Just fucking kiss me, god knows I know you want to Elena.
"You're good at this" she says instead "I've got moves you've never seen" I say into her ear before spinning her back out again before I do something really stupid because no matter how much her eyes lit up with lust at that comment, she shuts it all down again like I've seen her do a million times before and tonight is definitely not the night to push her. But it makes me so happy to see her laughing and smiling, and even happier to know that I'm the one who made it happen.
I leave Elena in a much better mood than I found her in and go cut in on Jeremy and Bonnie's dance.
She knows I heard them talking and she says it's all true. Even the part about having a 50-50 shot of surviving. "So you'd lay it all out on the line for Elena? No matter what?" – "No matter what" damn I knew there was a reason I kinda liked this girl. Sometimes. Occasionally. "Good" – "You can't tell her" who me? Of course I'm not gonna tell her.
"All that power...is there no way to increase your odds?" – "Careful Damon, I might start to think you actually care" hey now I have a list. A very small list, granted, and most people on it happen to be people Elena loves but it's a list all the same. "We wouldn't want that" I say instead.
I am having a great time at this dance. Best one so far for sure, although the chosen decade isn't one of my favourites. The sixties fucking sucked for me. I flipped the switch at the end of the fifties and most of the sixties is just...a blur these days. Nameless faces, New York, I was definitely there...anyway the point is that maybe tonight won't be an epic fuck up after all.
"I need to talk to you" oh crap she's using her angry voice. I spoke too soon. Elena's cornered Bonnie and Stefan's coming for me looking beyond pissed which can only mean one thing. Cat's outta the bag, well great. "C'mere. Come here" let go of me Stefan "Please tell me you didn't know that Bonnie was on a suicide mission" fucking Jeremy Gilbert, god "and of course you told Elena" – "Yeah I told her. You promised her no more secrets" well what do you know? I lied. "I changed my mind" god it's not like I'm trying to keep your girlfriend alive over here. But of course Stefan has to be more concerned with promises and choices than saving her.
Okay it's time to find Baby Gilbert, I need to have a word with him about his inability to keep secrets that will save his sister's fucking life. "Hey idiots" some stupid kids are attacking him and then they turn on us. God-dammit I liked this shirt. "Let me guess. Klaus says hi" I dart for one of the kids with the wood I've pulled out of my shoulder "No no don't kill him. He's compelled" and? "The whole thing's a distraction, go find Bonnie and Elena" Elena. Shit. Where is she?
It doesn't take me long to find her, Elena is...unique, I could find that girl anywhere. "What happened?" – "Klaus...Klaus is in Alaric's body" you what? Huh? That's...not good. "He's possessing it or something" – "Go find Stefan. Now" I tell Elena.
"Can you kill him?" I ask Bonnie when Elena runs off "He's got some kind of protection spell on him" – "you have the power of 100 witches. Break it" – "I'm trying but if I kill Alaric he'll just possess someone else" oh Fuckery! "He knows I have my power Damon. He's trying to kill me" – "No. Klaus does not get to win tonight. No way. You still willing to do whatever it takes to kill him?" she nods. Good because I have a diabolical plan that Elena's sure to hate me for but at least she'll be alive to hate me. Klaus wants a dead witch? Well then a dead witch he will get.
I give Bonnie the details of my idea and even though she doesn't like not being able to tell Elena she understands and more importantly, she agrees. So she goes running off after Alaric/Klaus while I wait for Elena and Stefan.
"There you are" – "What are you doing? Where's Bonnie?" god I hate this, don't wanna do it but I have to. I despise lying to Elena. "She's doin' what she has to do" – "Where is she?" – "Stefan. Let her do this" – "Dammit Damon where is she?" wow, who knew my brother cared about the witch so much? They go running off in the direction of Bonnie and now I just have to hope everything goes to plan. Then I hear Elena scream, so I guess it worked.
Oh god "Stefan get Elena out of here" now please, otherwise I wont...I can't deal with her crying. "I'll deal with the body" – "What do you mean deal with it?" pull it together Damon, just a little longer. "Sherriff can't know about this. Last thing we need's another mysterious death" – "This is Bonnie!" oh Elena. "Get her home. Now. So I can clean this up" all of it. "No. No. Oh my god. Jeremy. What about Jeremy?" Elena wails as Stefan takes her away. "I'll find him" I know Bonnie isn't dead-dead but it's still kinda sad to see her laying there like this.
Jeremy catches up to me at the car "Damon where's Elena? Where's Bonnie?" – "we need to have a little talk" now get in the car so I can tell you the truth. I hate being all cryptic but you never know who has been compelled around this place, or whether or not Alaric/Klaus is still hanging around.
I get home to face the wrath of Elena after dropping Baby Gilbert and Bonnie off at the witch house. "What did you do to her?" – "Please calm her down" – "Don't talk like I'm not standing right in front of you" but Elena it's so much easier, I hate that I made you cry. "Please. Calm. Down" – "You knew didn't you? You knew that if she harnessed all that power she would die, didn't you?" and she's not...calming down.
"Yes. Yes I knew" she growls, wow she actually fucking growled at me and then she slaps me across the face. Again. Damn but she's sexy, even when she's crying. That one even hurt a bit and it crosses my mind that this girl would make a fucking beautiful vampire. But there are much more important things to discuss at hand.
"You need to listen to me. And prepare for what I'm about to say. Bonnie had to die, Klaus using Alaric's body was a total surprise. She wasn't prepared for that and he wasn't gonna stop and we weren't gonna be able to stop him until he knew she was dead" she's looking at me with all those tears in her eyes but she looks so hopeful at the same time and I'm so fucking happy that for a change, I can make it better. "He had to believe it. She cast a spell. Bonnie's okay" and so are you, and that's all that matters to me.
Stefan catches up to me as I'm heading for my room "You could have told me" um...no I couldn't! "How do I know when you're gonna go blabbing things to your girlfriend" – "You understand what you put her through?" yes Stefan I fucking understand. Don't think I don't hate myself for it but it had to be done.
"See that's why I didn't tell you 'cause you would never have been able to do it. Don't get me wrong Stefan I don't mind being the bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day? I'll be the one to keep her alive" so screw you Stefan because I have the strength to admit that I'm not a good guy, I don't do the 'right' thing but I love her so damn much and I want her to live so I don't care. I want her safe and I'll do whatever the fuck it takes to keep her that way. We don't live in a black and white world; we live in the shades of grey, the line between right and wrong, and the shadows. We all do, I'm just the only one who'll fucking admit it.
There appears to be an Elena Gilbert in my room "Look. Klaus had to think she was dead. Your reaction had to be real" and there was no time "I understand why you did what you did" she does? What the hell's she doing in here then? "Klaus was fooled and Bonnie's alive" yep all's well that ends well. "Here's to duplicity" I..think. Still unsure of why she's here though.
"But let's get one thing straight Damon" okay here it comes "Bonnie will not die for me, I will not let that happen" – "We need to kill Klaus Elena, real Klaus, who will probably be coming to pay you a visit soon now that he knows Bonnie's dead. She's the only one who can do it" and I'm sorry about that, really I am. Because Elena loves her, but I love Elena, and no witch is worth her life. "We'll find another way" she says as she walks even closer to me "I hope so" and I do. I don't think we will, but I hope we can.
"Look I shouldn't have hit you" oh Elena I do not care about that at all "apology accepted" and I'm going to say it. Well, not that but something equally damning I'm sure.
"Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always. Choose. You" you see? There's no compelling thataway and I don't care about promises. Choices. Decisions. Witches. Collateral damage. Originals. Brothers. Nothing. I care. About Elena. And her life. That's it. Every time, over everybody, and I would gladly tell her that every day if she'd give me half a fucking chance.
And I've rendered her speechless. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Then she just nods, well good, I'm glad she gets it. "Goodnight Damon" she whispers at me "Goodnight" god I'm so screwed, so in love with this girl. How did I let this happen? Although truth be told I'm not sure I had any control over it whatsoever. I think I was lost for her the second I met her.
As she turns to go she seems to get...distracted by my bed and she glances at it and then at me a couple of times before walking away, and then she turns back again at the door to look at me one last time and god what I'd give to know what she's thinking right now. Unfortunately it's also got me thinking about her in my bed and that's not...good so I make a phone call to my lovely distraction.
Dear Diary,
A lot has happened today but I can only really think about what happened in the last ten minutes. I can't get Damon's words out of my head. It's like they're playing on a loop over and over and over again. 'I will always. Choose. You' that's what he said. And I didn't even know what to say, I've never heard him speak so passionately, I think he put everything he felt into every word he said and I knew there was no use fighting him on it.
I think I've finally accepted that Damon cares for me above and beyond anyone else, but...it made that...those feelings I have for him come rushing up again. And the same thing happened at the dance tonight, there was a Decade Dance and I danced with Damon and for a few minutes I thought I was losing my mind, I wanted to kiss him so damn much and I was even jealous when he was dancing with Bonnie, what is wrong with me?...I am a really terrible person. He made me feel so much better; he's the only one who managed to cheer me up. But god he's so damn infuriating as well, I've never met someone who can make me feel so many emotions in such a short space of time.
And I can't handle it...I'm only 17 years old, I have no idea about the things that I'm feeling, I don't even know how long I'm going to be alive for let alone trying to sort out Damon and whatever the hell is going on between us but I do know that his words, they touched something deep inside of me. Because I know they came from somewhere deep inside of him.
Elena