"Did you get sad when you didn't get crowned prom queen?" I asked Quinn.

"What made you think of that?" she asked, a smile grew on her lips.

"I don't know"

"You just never know, do you?" she ashed the cigarette and squinted.

I was thinking about prom and how I after all didn't go anyway, even though I promised my friends I would. It was months ago but I just thought of it. I remembered that Quinn went around school and hung up posters on the walls so people would vote for her and yet she didn't get voted prom queen.

"I guess not"

"To answer your question, no I didn't get sad. Stuff like that don't bug me, not anymore"

"How come?"

"I guess I grew up from it" she took another puff.

"Alright"

"Do you want to try?" she looked at me and handed the cigarette for me to take.

"No, not really" I said and watched her put it back between her lips.

"Good" she smiled.

We sat down on the usual bench, the usual spot. She had finished smoking during our little walk around the park. I don't know how but it just became where we wanted to be when we were together, maybe it was because we never saw people we knew there. It was always only old people and random grown ups walking their dogs. No young people ever hung out around the park. We could be alone without worrying about someone seeing us together.

"So I was invited to a party, it's in two weeks or so.. My friend is moving to England so he wants to gather all his friends"

"Yeah?"

"Come with me this time"

"I don't know.." I said.

"Please?"

"What kind of party is it?"

"It's the same guy who threw it last time, when I told you to come with me and Brit." I listened carefully "It's this college guy"

"Is it at his house?"

"Yeah, huge house by the way" she added.

"Is Brittany going?" I asked.

"I think so"

"Fine"

"Fine?"

"I'll come with you"

"You are?" her face lightened.

"How do you even know all these people?" I asked.

"Older people are funnier to hang out with" she said.

"Yeah but how did you get to know them?" I asked again.

"I don't know, really.. Work and stuff" she said.

"Alright"

I felt kind of ambivalent about saying yes to go to that pary with her. I wouldn't know anyone, what if when we got there she started to hang out with her friends and forget about me? It would also be weird having Brittany there, me and Quinn wouldn't be able to act the way we want to. We had to act like friends. Still I really wanted to go with her and see what kind of people she likes to really hang out with after school.

"You know, Lopez-"

"Santana" I corrected her.

"Santana," she laughed "we've never actually gone out on a real date" she reached for my hand and grabbed it.

"I thought our little meetings here and there were dates" I nervously chuckled.

"They're not though," her eyes were glued on our hands as she started brushing her fingers along my arm "I want to take you on a real date, where we don't have to hide. At all"

"New York's big, I bet there's places we won't have to hide in" I said with a little tone of sarcasm in my voice.

"I have another idea" she stood up, her hand still holding mine. "Let me take you to my place, this weekend"

"Your place? A date?" I asked.

"Yes, a date. A real date" the cold yet light, burning voice said.

"O-okay," I couldn't resist her offer. "What about your parents?"

"They're going away for the weekend"

"It'll be the first time I come to your house"

"Are you excited?" she asked and pulled me up from the bench and drug me over to the green grass.

I tried to pull away because I knew what she wanted to do, she'd make me fall onto the grass and make a mess out of my clothes. Her playful smile grew as the seconds passed, with both my hands now holding hers she took slow steps back through the enormous lawn and right then I did what she didn't expect at all and caught her by surprise, I lightly pushed her so she sat on her butt, in a way I knew wouldn't hurt her of course. She caught me before I hit the ground and held me hard, her arms were wrapped around my waist. I sat between her legs with my back towards her face as she leaned her head on my shoulder. The fact that I convinced my parents to let me go out 10pm on a Thursday night was still shocking to me but that exact moment where I was wrapped around Quinn did I know that it was more than just worth it. I felt her lips being placed on my neck, giving me light kisses. I turned around so I could see her face, something I was excited about everytime I thought of Quinn during the past week or two. I sat with my legs crossed and took her hands in mine. The look in her eyes, it was so.. deep. A small flash of light was hidden in there and just by one look they revealed a dimension of pure darkness - they revealed something I yearned to be a part of. Her desperate hazel eyes made the moon behind her look boring as she leaned in for a kiss.

The rest of the night I layed in bed, thinking. I got home around 11.30 and my parents had already gone to sleep. The date with Quinn danced around my mind. I kept thinking about things like if I should bring a gift or should I dress up a little or not? I had absolutely no idea about what I was going to do. The date was on Saturday. I decided to try to sleep instead and figure out what to wear or if I should bring her something the same day.

In school, it was really weird seeing Rachel around with her boyfriend, still I was happy for her. I waved at her when I passed them right after lunch and both her and him waved back at me. I walked to the car, it was only a half day. The teachers of the whole school were going on a conference thingy. So you can say this was a good Friday. I unlocked the car and sat down, threw my bag right beside me on the passenger seat and put the seatbelt on. My skirt had gone up a bit and the scars on my legs showed, my heart sunk a little when I saw them, being busy with Quinn and all made me forget about them for a while. I brushed my finger against the deepest one on my right leg - it didn't hurt anymore but the scar was still very visible. The other smaller ones started to fade away. I kept looking at it before starting the car, I remembered all the feelings, the incidents. I closed my eyes and prayed to forget before I fell too far in again. I opened my eyes and started the engine and backed out of the parking lot and drove home. I put the radio on while I was on the road. I had my favorite channel on as always - they only played old school music. Not only one genre either, no, they played everything. Rock, not heavy rock, it was mostly kind of chill rock, pop, R'n'B and hip hop. When I turned the radio on they were in the middle of No doubt's Just A Girl. I wouldn't know it was that song if the radio guy didn't say what the name of it was at the end of the song. When I reached the driveway I took a long, deep breathe and stepped out of the car.

"Had fun last night?" my mother asked, not even looking up from her news paper.

"I did"

"Who's the girl?" she asked again.

"W-what girl?"

"Aren't you seeing some girl?" she looked up.

"I'm not"

"Who makes you go out so late then, isn't she the one who picked you up the other day?"

"Mom I'm not seeing someone"

"Oh honey, I'm not stupid. Spill it out" she laughed.

"It's my friend" I answered. I walked towards the fridge and took out a bottle of water.

"Whatever you say sweetie" she answered and dug her head back in the newspaper.

I walked into my room and sat down on my bed. It was Friday and I hadn't planned anything with my friends. I was kind of happy about that, I didn't feel like going out, I just wanted to stay in. I felt like just resting and mentally prepare for my date with Quinn on Saturday. All the other times we met, I was never this nervous. I mean, I was really nervous around her but never to this level. I didn't know how to be around her - would I just be the way I am when we hang out outside or should I be extra careful this time?

I woke up and instantly thought it was morning, I was wrong. I looked at the clock and I had woken up from a three hour nap. It was 7pm and I could smell dinner being cooked. I reached for my phone and faced the notifications of three missed calls and two texts. Two of the calls were from Mercedes and the other one from Brittany. The texts were both sent from Quinn.

"Do you eat chicken?" said the first one.

"Never mind. Of course you do" said the second one, I smiled at it and called Mercedes up.

"Did you just wake up from the dead?" she said before I even said a simple 'hello'.

"Shut up," I stood up "I didn't know I would fall asleep" I could hear other noises in the background on the other line. "What's up?" I asked.

"We called you, both Brittany and I but you didn't answer so we guessed you were busy. We're at the pizza place right outside Brittany's place. We just got here, come" Mercedes said.

"I don't know.. I just woke up and I'm pretty sure my mom's cooking something up" I gasped.

"You don't have to eat" she said.

"So I just go to a pizza place and not eat?" I sarcastically said.

"You can take a drink and just hang out"

"Who else is there?"

"It's just me and Brittany"

I found it funny how I was the one who made them become friends and now they hang out all the time. Not that I was jealous, I just thought it was kind of funny.

"I'll see. I'll call you soon"

I put the phone down and walked to the kitchen. My mom was making some stue with rice. It smelled nice but I wasn't in the mood for something like that. I considered the pizza again.

"Slept well?" she asked.

"Yeah" I answered.

"Are you going out?" she asked.

"I don't know, Mercedes and Brittany are at this pizza place. They asked me to go there" I said.

"So you want the car?"

"No, I don't know. I might go.." I said.

"You want the car" she laughed.

"I think it's time I get my own car"

"You'll get one, be patient" she said and pointed at the table where the keys were.

"Thanks mom"

Just like that, actually thanks to my mom, I decided to go hang out with my friends. I changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed the keys when I walked back into the kitchen and drove over to them.

When I got into the restaurant, it was really crowded. People of all ages were seated all around the place. I looked around and saw Mercedes and Brittany in the corner by the window. I walked over to them and sat down right next to Brittany.

"You're not ordering something?" Mercedes asked

"Not now, maybe later"

"We're glad you made it" Brittany said and smiled at me.

"For a minute I thought you were busy hanging out with someone else..." Mercedes wouldn't let it go, she was stuck on the fact that I liked Quinn, according to her. And I did, so when she said things like that, I felt like I would explode.

"I was sleeping, you know that!" I jokingly said with nervous laughter hidden behind my voice.

"Were you that tired after school?" Brittany said after she was done chewing her pizza.

"I didn't know I was, I just fell asleep" I said.

"Happens to me all the time" she said and dried her hands with one of the napkins from the pizza crumbs. She put her hand right next to mine on the modern red higlighted couch.

"God, I'm getting the biggest headache from the girls behind us. They're laughing like a bunch of hyenas"

We both laughed at Mercedes statement and the crowded pizza place just got even worse, I started to think there was some football game and everyone came here to eat after when a bunch of guys walked in with some team flag printed on their shirts. In the middle of everything - Mercedes talking, me looking at the people coming in and how the line got longer all the time, this blue haired girl walked in. Alone. She stood out from the crowd not only because of the long blue hair and incredibly pale face but it was the fact that the took out a cigarette and lit it up in the middle of the restaurant while she was standing in line.

"Are you here?" Mercedes said.

"Yeah, what?"

"You always drift away.. God knows what's on your mind all the time" she laughed, so did Brittany.

"I was looking at that girl over there," I discreetly pointed my head at her "are people allowed to smoke in here?"

"No," Brittany said "do you want me to tell the employee over there?"

"No, they'll eventually see her or just simply smell it" I said to save both the blue haired girl and Brittany the trouble.

Time passed and without even getting anything to eat or drink for myself, I thought it was time for me to go home after two hours of sitting there. So did they. We left the place and Brittany walked home, she lived really close and for some seconds when I watched her walk in, I felt jealous. It has to be awesome to just be able to walk down and get yourself a pizza whenever you're hungry and there's nothing to eat at home. Me and Mercedes said goodbye as well and walked to our own cars.

After too little sleep, I woke up as morning rose. I waited patiently until it was time to get ready for my date with Quinn. After hours and hours of waiting, it was time. I threw my outfit on and thanks to my mother I would be late so I didn't have time to pick something up for Quinn. She insisted that I would first drive her to abuela ten minutes before I had to be at Quinn's place, 6pm. So I dropped my mother off and then lost another ten minutes by looking for the right adress. At last I found the right house, pretty one. It was painted in a white colour and had a nicely trimmed lawn. I parked the car and stepped out, I took slow, nervous steps towards the door. I felt my heart beat and it was harder than I expected it to be. I knocked on the door and seconds later, Quinn stood infront of me. She crossed her arms and leaned on the doorframe, her eyes lightened and the lips formed into a beautiful curve.

"You look great" she said and lead me in.

"Thank you," I said "your house is really nice" I commented.

She walked me to the kitchen, to get there we passed the big, refreshing living room. A piece of artwork was hanging on the wall over the big brown couch, the carpet felt soft under my feet and white walls around me were naked, besides the wall behind the couch of course. It was a very simple yet nice inside of the house. In the kitchen, it smelled really nice.. Like chicken. So I decided to play a little bit with her.

"Is that chicken?" I asked.

"Yes," she smiled "it's like the only thing I can cook"

"Oh.." I faked a disappointed tone and look.

"What? Is something wrong?" she asked.

"It's just that..," I held myself from laughing "you didn't get my text?"

"What text...?"

"I don't eat chicken" I said.

I watched Quinn carefully, she didn't speak. I saw a downward turn of her mouth. She gave me a slow nod while frowning.

"It's okay" and it really didn't sound like it was okay. "I can do something else.. or I can try"

"Hey," I said and watched her just stand there, thinking out something else to do "Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"I was kidding" I said with a laugh.

"Santana!," she shouted and the frown left her face in a heartbeat "you can't mess with me like that you little clown.."

"You're the clown, don't you remember..?" I joked.

"And you were the newbie" she sassed with a smug look.

I sat down on the chair Quinn pulled out for me and watched her serve the meal. For Quinn, this was a really nice thing to do. I mean, the chicken she did looked good and she had a side sallad plus potatoes as well. I was impressed, I didn't know she had it in her. I thought I would go to her place and we'd have chinese take out or something. I was really impressed. I took the first bite as she watched me, eager to see what I thought of it. I chewed the chicken slowly just to have her wait a little longer, her eyes were watching my every more.

"It's amazing, did you really cook this?"

"Of course I did"

"It's great, really" I said.

We kind of ate the rest of our meals in silence, a smile was thrown every now and then but nothing else but that was said. It wasn't awkward, I wouldn't call what we had awkward that moment, it was just silent. We didn't talk. When I finished eating and she also did not long after me, we stood up and with the help of each other put all the dishes in the dishwasher, after that we took the left overs and put them in the fridge.

"Off to the next thing" Quinn said and grabbed my hand. We walked up the long stairs and walked through a hallway until we reached a room, a bit bigger than my own. It had a TV, a DVD player, a comfortable looking red couch and poster filled walls. It was everything from band to movie posters on the walls.

"Is this your room?"

"It was when I was younger" she said and fixed some things with the DVD.

"Oh," I sat down on the couch "so no one sleeps here?"

"Well do you see a bed?" she said and sat down next to me.

"I just figu-"

"My room is opposite this one.. I want us to sit in here because I don't have a TV in my room" she cut me off and explained.

"I see," I smiled at her even though she was facing the TV "what are we watching?"

"I hope you like creepy movies"

"Creepy as in scary?"

"Kind of" she grinned.

"Oh no" I said.

"Are you afraid?" her eyes got smaller, she looked intense as she asked the question, as if she wanted me to say yes.

"A little.." I shyly said, she smiled.

She played the movie and dropped the remote control beside her. She grabbed my arm and lightly pulled me closer to her, I went with it. I glanced at her just to see her stare at me. I got nervous watching her eyes being stuck on me like that. It felt like something was wrong with me, like I had something on my face. I didn't question her and just moved my eyes back to the screen. The first scene had started and already the movie creeped me out. It was so dark, the soundtrack and the whole place that they were in. Twenty minutes into the two hour long movie I had already witnessed the death of a eight year old boy - caused by his own, crazy mother and a teenage girl painting her walls with the blood of her dead eight year old brother. I tried to keep calm as the movie kept going but Quinn noticed I wasn't comfortable with it, it was obvious that she was amused by it.

"Seriously, what the hell is this movie?" I quietly said.

"It has a really good background, give it a chance.. You haven't even seen half of it" she said.

Another twenty minutes passed and a pop up scene that made me scream showed up that instantly made me feel like a little helpless girl. Quinn laughed at me and just held me even closer, which actually helped. I changed the position and sat down so I could lean my head on Quinn's shoulder. I was wearing really annoying jeans that stopped me from sitting with my legs crossed, the way I used to sit. Quinn put her arm around me and for some minutes, I forgot the movie was even on. I mean, I was watching it, I saw the bloody scenes that passed before my eyes but I didn't think of them. My whole body turned warmer as Quinn started to softly stroke my arm with her fingertips. I started to shiver with anticipation. She gave me a little tickle by my ribs that made me squirm, but it made me get closer to her. The only source of light we had was the weak one that came from the dark film on the television. I locked my eyes for a while just to embrace the moment. I felt her move, she twisted her way out holding me, and my lean on her head stopped as well. I opened my eyes and she was staring right at me. Her face was blank, it was just a simple stare. I looked over at the screen and the movie was of course still on, I just looked at it to see why she would stop watching something she obviously liked a lot.

"Why'd you stop watching?" I asked, struggling not to stutter out of nervosity.

"I'm watching something better as we speak" she placed her hand on my cheek and gently rubbed it with her thumb.

"You, um.." I stopped talking.

The screams from the movie in the background didn't mean anything to me because after some seconds, everything became silent. The world around us got mute. All I saw was Quinn. All I heard was Quinn. I felt like I was in a movie, experiencing something that didn't happen to people like me, sitting in front of someone who once was my worst enemy, slowly falling deeper and deeper into her grip of me. She started to lean closer and her eyes were like stars inside the dark room, shining brighter than the moon ever would into my own. She gave me light kisses on my jawline, soft kisses that made me feel very delicate. Like she was afraid that she'd hurt me if she kissed me too hard or too much. I pushed her head up by her chin and our lips melted together. As it got more passionate by the minutes. Quinn slowly, with her hands cupping my face, leaned further into the couch until I was laying down right on top of her. The little space between the core of our bodies allowed her hands to unbutton my pants and yank them off.

"You know," she whispered as she pulled her head back from the kiss "I've been thinking a lot about this" she smiled.

Her hand ran through my back, the cold fingers were making my whole body twitch. I pulled back and closed my eyes for some seconds, breathing in the moment. Her hand started to slowly run through my stomach and down to my thighs. There she stopped.

"What's wrong?" I asked, not quite understandinng that she had felt my scar.

"Is that.." she wriggled off me and sat up.

"Sorry" I said and reached for my jeans that were thrown on the floor. I sat down in a way that would make it easier for me to pull them on.

"No," she stopped me "wait" she stood up and turned the light on and came right back to sit next to me.

"What are you doing?" I asked, now that the lights were on, I felt embarrassed about sitting there in only my panties on. I felt a bit exposed. I used the pants, that weren't on me, as a blanket to cover my legs.

"Let me see" she said and slowly tried to pull the pants away from my hold.

"I'm not..," I swallowed a big lump in my throat, I felt like crying "I'm not comfortable"

"Please?" she looked at me, her face waited for an answer. It was obviously expecting a 'yes'. I just nodded.

She took the pants in her hands and threw them on the floor. My bare legs were cold and they felt pale, even though they weren't pale at all compared to Quinn's skin. Her eyes were looking at it, making me feel like a piece of art in front of her. She looked fascinated. She raised her hand and had it steady over my scar, some inches over it. She looked at me.

"You can touch it" I confirmed.

Her hand immediately dropped and slowly brushed against the scar. I looked at the glaring face. The soft eyes were still glued on it, she pointed her index and middle finger out to have only them feeling the dried, nearly extinct mark of self destruction.

"You did this to yourself?" she wondered. I nodded. "It's beautiful" she added to her sentence.