His name was not in the Reaping Ball this year, but Finnick had never felt more nervous on Reaping Day. Mags reached over and patted his hand, but he pushed her away. He was truly grateful for her concern, but the Capitol's cameras were fixed on the stage. The Capitolites didn't want to see Finnick as what he was: a weak, broken young man who was terrified for his best friend. They loved cocky, arrogant Finnick, who would have no need for the comfort a little old lady could provide. That Finnick would be excited for the Games, anxious to rejoin the high society life in the Capitol. He needed to be that Finnick now, for the sake of everyone he cared about.
Camille began her opening remarks. Finnick forced himself to listen to the first few lines, just to see if they were any different from last year's, but as usual, nothing had changed. Before she had finished welcoming them to this exciting day, she had lost his attention.
What's going to happen to Annie? Will she be all right?
He felt like a nervous wreck, but Finnick doubted anyone but Mags and perhaps Annie could tell how anxious he was. Over the last five years, he had mastered hiding his true feelings. He could keep up what Annie called his 'Finnick Odair: Playboy Extraordinaire' persona with almost no conscious thought. His guise was firmly in place, so Finnick felt no need to pay attention to the proceedings. Throughout the introductions and film, he found himself thinking about Annie. Maybe there was still a chance that she would not volunteer. No, now he was lying to himself. She was too strong, too proud to allow another girl to die in her place. He still wished she would change her mind, but he had to admit he was proud of her. Her courage and willingness to sacrifice herself for others amazed him. Actually, a lot of things about her amazed him. Her kindness, strength, intelligence -
No time to think about that now. His immediate focus should be on getting Annie out of that Arena alive. He had already talked to Mags, who was also mentoring this year, and they had agreed that he would take Annie. Finnick didn't think he could mentor the other tribute. It wouldn't be fair to the boy if his mentor was only interested in saving his district partner. The Arena was terrible enough even if you had a supportive mentor to watch over you; it would only be worse if they wanted you dead. The boy deserved every resource available to help him come home, and Mags was the best mentor he could ask for. Yes, the boy would be well taken care of.
The film started, but Finnick hardly noticed. He had more important things to think about.
Though he had been pondering strategies for Annie since the end of the last Games, he hadn't made any final decisions yet. Finnick told himself that he just wanted Annie's input. She would be resistant to any plan she had not had a hand in making. However, there had been plenty of opportunities in the last year to discuss a strategy, and Finnick had never brought up the topic. Deep down, Finnick knew he was just avoiding thinking about the Games, about the possibility of Annie going into the Arena and potentially not coming back. Making decisions made everything seem more real. If he didn't have any final plans, Annie going into the Games was still just hypothetical. She couldn't become a pawn to Snow or, even worse, come back in a coffin.
That was the image that had haunted his dreams for years. Ever since his own Games, he had suffered from terrible nightmares of what Annie could suffer in the Arena. Sometimes it seemed that every night a different scenario played in his head while he slept. Annie slowly dying of dehydration as sponsors refused to give enough for even a small bottle of water. Annie stabbed by a big, burly, male Career. Annie chased for hours before being caught and eaten by the feathered, serpent-like creatures that Finnick had fought off during his Games. In these dreams, Finnick invariably sat in the Mentors' Lounge in the Training Center, unable to help, watching his best friend die on the screen. Waking up didn't stop the dread. Any of these scenarios could happen. Finnick wasn't creative enough to come up with these deaths by himself; he had seen all of them play out in past Games.
He couldn't bear to lose his friend, but the logical part of him knew that it was going to happen. Annie was only one of twenty-four children going into the Arena. All of them wanted to return to their families alive. Annie had trained, but he knew that did not always protect one in the Games. He must be prepared to mourn her. After all, even those tributes that made it out alive were never all right afterwards. The Arena took far more than lives.
Shouldn't Camille have started calling names by now? Maybe she had, maybe Annie hadn't volunteered. He just wanted this to be over with, to get on the train with two children he didn't know, not get attached, and watch them die. That would be easier than standing here waiting for his best friend to volunteer.
Adding to his uneasiness, Finnick didn't know how or even if the kiss changed things between them. Although he doubted that he would have slept the night before the Reaping anyway, Finnick had spent hours tossing and turning, wondering why she had chosen to kiss him that evening. He hoped she had been trying to admit her feelings for him. Finnick had long ago accepted that he cared for her, and a part of him suspected that she felt the same way, but he had never worked up the courage to ask. He was afraid that if she did not return his feelings, that question would open a divide between them. Finnick loved Annie, but the possibility of a relationship with her was not worth the cost of their friendship.
When had Annie Cresta become so important to him? If he thought back to before his own Games, he knew that he had not been in love when he was reaped. He did not think that he had loved her when she greeted him at the train station upon his return. Had he fallen for her when she comforted him after his Games, when she had accepted the new him which repulsed most of Four? Or had it been more recent, after one of his many trips to the Capitol? He didn't know when it had happened, but he was now hopelessly in love with the beautiful green-eyed girl. Finnick gazed at her. She was in the back, far away from the stage with the other eighteen year olds, but he could still make out her form, staring determinedly at the stage. He promised himself that he would do anything necessary to bring Annie back.
Annie's voice interrupted his thoughts. "I volunteer!" she said , more loudly than was necessary to be heard on the stage. Finnick watched as she walked to the steps of the Justice Building. His exterior nonchalance was beginning to melt away, revealing the scared man underneath. This was happening. Annie was going into the Arena.
He could not stop staring at Annie as she stood barely ten feet away from him on the stage. He did not notice as the twelve year old boy was reaped or as a strong eighteen year old volunteered to take his place in the Arena. Finnick only barely registered the tall, redheaded man, Seannan Donaghue, he remembered from training, as he stepped into place beside Annie.
At Camille's request, Annie and Seannan shook hands. The crowd applauded their new tributes with enthusiasm. District Four always thanked volunteers. People understood that they were willing to give up their lives to protect the weaker children of the district. Finnick could tell that Annie was scared, but she managed a flippant salute to the camera before she was led off the stage. He snorted in laughter at her irreverence before offering his arm to Mags and guiding her to the train that would take them to the Capitol. He had a lot of work ahead of him.
A/N: Thank you to everybody who followed, favorited, or reviewed. I really appreciate the feedback! Giving credit where credit is due: the lovely cover image comes from jailb8 on tumblr.