A/N: Wow I can't believe we're so close to the end of Season 2 already. Maybe I should stop updating this thing daily! At this rate we'll be through the entire show before Season 6 even returns. Thanks ever so much for the reviews, thanks to my new readers as well, I love to hear from you guys and to the guests who I can't respond to personally. Don't forget to let me know if you want to read the bridge seasons or not. I don't own the Vampire diaries, all rights to the mad geniuses who made this stuff up! And...on with the show!

The Sun Also Rises

"Tell my love to wreck it all
And in the morning I'll be with you but it will be a different kind
Who will love you? Who fill fight? And who will fall far behind?"

Right, now that we have in fact established that I should have stayed in bed I have things to do. I'm a busy man. Stop a sacrifice, save the girl...or at the very least make sure she stays human. Oh, and die. Fabulous. Will this night never end?

Katherine umms and awws over the werewolf bite for a while, but she doesn't know anything about a cure either and I really need to be leaving. "145 years and no last goodbye?" Is she serious? "You don't get a goodbye" – "Don't. Don't leave mad" I'm not mad, well, I'm mad about Jenna but everything else, I'm just...indifferent. "Enjoy an eternity alone Katherine" there's your goodbye, happy now?

Jeremy and Bonnie are at the witches house looking for a way to keep Elena human and unfortunately I need to speak to my brother, I have to break the news about Jenna. "You're not gonna like what I'm about to say" – "Is the sacrifice happening or not?" oh yeah it's happening. "Tried to stop it but it got...complicated" hah! There is not a word in the dictionary to describe what a colossal fuck up this day has been and it's not even over yet.

"He's got Jenna Stefan" – "What?" – "He got Katherine to lure her out of the house" wow Elena's gonna hate me so much. I might have saved her best friend and Lockwolf but I pretty effectively got her aunt killed in the process. "He's going to use her as the vampire in the ritual" – "Oh my god" yeah, my thoughts exactly Stefan, only mine comes with a few more profanities thrown in for good measure.

Wow, someone is eager to get into the house "Heard ya!" I shout at the incessant knocking, for fuck sake I'm coming. I do not...feel good, and the bite? Looks ugly as hell. But I have to keep going, just a little bit longer.

Ah right, the knocking, I forgot about that for a minute. Wonderful, it's Papa John "Elena hasn't returned any of my calls for days. I'm here to see her" well that could be a little bit of a problem "you're a day late and a daughter short John" – "What are you talking about?" – "Klaus has her" god if nothing else, I'm so damn happy that Klaus is gonna die tonight.

"How could you let that happen?" Jesus I fucking tried. I did everything I could. "You were supposed to keep her safe" I know, would you kindly stop reminding me of my failures? "She is safe. I fed her my blood" – "You what?" oh you heard me, now he's just pissing me off.

"When Klaus kills Elena in the sacrifice she will come back to life. Granted as the thing you hate most in the world but no one really cares what you think" god my head, it really doesn't feel good. Blood, I need blood.

John tries to grab me and I throw him into the wall "you do not wanna mess with me right now" – "You ruined her life. You know that right?" yeah. Yeah I know it. "I know John. I took her choice, destroyed her future. Trust me I get it, it actually gets worse" – "How could it possibly get any worse?" oh you'd be surprised. Apparently things can always get worse. And now I have to fill John in on Jenna's imminent death.

Bonnie wants us to bring the Gilbert journals to the house and I really need to see my brother and Ric, only, my brother's not here. He's gone to fucking offer himself to Klaus in place of Jenna as Ric so kindly explains to me.

"He wasn't gonna let Jenna die" – "We have a witch. She kills Klaus. No one has to die" least of all my fucking brother. I need him to be alive. Undead. Whatever.

"Except for Bonnie" God Dammit. "Stefan. Dammit!" I fucking need my brother to be okay. He's supposed to be there to look after Elena. Who the fuck's gonna protect her now?

I slam my arm through the wall and god I should not have done that. Fuck me it hurts. So much. "Hey are you okay?" no I'm not fucking okay I'm dying god dammit. "I'm fine" or I will be assuming I don't pass out of course.

"Well that's my brother for ya. Always cleaning up my messes" it is mad how much of this is my fault. Bonnie desperately looking for a way to save Elena, Jenna being taken, my brother off to sacrifice himself, all because I tried to save her damn friend. Bonnie calls me downstairs "We found something in the Gilbert Journals" well great what is it? Maybe one thing can be salvaged from this darkest of nights.

John babbles on about some spell Emily cast on a baby but I'm failing to see the relevance "skip to the save Elena part" – "...the mother's life force flowed through her restoring her to life" well that doesn't sound at all reassuring and then they're babbling again and I tune out until "...not if her soul remains intact" I'm sorry what? "Her soul? Really? You're gonna put your faith in some act of god mumbo jumbo?" are they serious? They...look kinda serious.

"I refuse to let Elena become the thing I've spent my life protecting her against. And you can call that god or mystical energy or whatever you want but yes I'm putting my faith in it" well o-kay then, I suppose it's worth a shot, it certainly can't hurt that's for sure.

Bonnie is casting the spell on John and I'm getting damn impatient "Come on Bonnie we got a hybrid to kill" – "it's done" well fantastic let's go please. "I'll be back soon" oh yeah, Baby Gilbert's not gonna be happy about this part, the bit where he can't come. Bonnie kisses him and he passes out which would be comical were the situation not so hideously stressful.

And then it's Ric's turn and he's gonna be even less pleased about being left behind and he doesn't even get a kiss to make things better. "I can't put anyone else at risk" Bonnie tells him "You can't do this! Damon?" – "Sorry buddy she's right" and he's just another person to add to the growing list of people that are pissed off at me right before I die. But Bonnie is right, we can't put anyone else in danger, there have been enough lives lost this night.

Oh...lord. Too much, it's too much.

My brother, he's alive. Jenna's dead but I can't help but be grateful that my brother is not. I snap Klaus's witches neck quickly while Bonnie appears to be magically kicking seven shades of shit out of Klaus and I'd be enjoying it more were it not for the fact that our girl...our beautiful girl is dead.

Realistically I know that she's gonna be okay but right now she's...not and it fucking hurts. I pick her up in my arms and carry her to my brother and that kinda fucking hurts too but I don't have time to focus on that right now. I yank the wood out of his back so he can move again. Christ knows why Klaus let him live but I'm really glad he did.

"I need you to get her out of here" – "What about you?" – "I'm not leaving until he's dead" well okay. Okay I can do that. I squeeze his shoulder a couple of times in a gesture that's as close as I'll probably ever come to conveying how glad I am he's still around and then I pick Elena up again and take her back to the witches house.

"Come back as a vampire I'll stake you myself" I brush the hair off her face gently and it reminds me of when I went to visit her in her room when I was first back in town, even then she brought me a certain...peace. I love it. I love her "cause I can't stand the idea of you hating me forever."

"How is she?" – "I don't know yet" but I'm not leaving her side until I do.

"What about Jenna?" Oh god Jenna. Jenna is dead. I turn to look at them but I can't bring myself to say the words, "I'm sorry Jeremy" and I really am. I'm grateful Stef's alive but I'm sad for Elena and Ric and Jeremy.

I wish she would wake up. Anytime now would be good. Oh she did!

"Elena?" – "Damon?" I'm here, I'm right here "How do you feel?" – "I feel fine" oh thank you god, or mystical energy or whatever the hell it is, thank you, thank you, thank you. She's not a vampire. I didn't ruin her life. She's okay. I have a feeling I'm repeating myself but I'm just so fucking grateful that she's okay.

As it transpires the person I really need to be thanking is John Gilbert, only I can't, because he gave his life for Elena. Which ironically enough, also means that his death is my fault as well. Just another one to add to the list I guess. At least I don't write their names on a wall. Self-flagellation is really not my style in case you hadn't noticed. Although I am considering beginning to keep a mental list of all the important ones. The point is, John gave his life for Elena and she lost her last remaining parent and her aunt in one fell swoop.

Oh, and to make matters even better? Klaus isn't dead. Yeah. You heard me. Fucking Elijah stabbed us in the back, as if I couldn't have predicted that one coming a fucking mile away. I was right. Things can always get worse.

"We all set?" Stefan asks me, it's time for John and Jenna's funeral, Elena and Jeremy didn't want to make a big fuss so we're keeping it small and "I compelled two of the grave diggers to do the dirty work."

I stand slightly apart from the others at the cemetery, I don't really belong here. I never really have. But I'm here for her, the sad, beautiful, crazy girl that I'm madly in love with, who is laying roses for her mothers, her fathers, her aunt. How much loss can one person handle before they break? How much pain can she take?

She looks up and just stares at me for what feels like endless moments in time and I don't even know what her eyes are saying because they're hidden behind a bucket load of tears. I want nothing more than to take her in my arms and kiss them away, comfort her until her broken heart is healed again. But I can't. So instead I offer her a small smile and walk away.

"We're gonna head back to the house" – "Think I'll skip the coffee and teacakes" – "Damon she needs us right now. All of us" – "And then what's the plan Stefan? The curse is broken. How does one go about killing an all powerful wolf-vamp and his two faced older brother" god I'd like to be around when they finally do get them. If I were then Elijah would be mine.

"I have no idea" – "Well you need to get an idea. Fast" – "I'm not gonna let Elena lose anybody else" – "I wouldn't make any promises brother" I tell him about Tyler biting me and show him my arm which is not only madly painful but now just looks downright disgusting.

"We'll find something" he whispers "a cure" – "There's no cure Stefan" only death. Trust me, I've been through this once before, only there'll be no pretty fucking dreams for me.

"We kept Elena human right? We found a way when there was no way. Hey! I will do this" oh my brother. Ever the saviour. He really likes to live up the name doesn't he? But there's nothing he can do for me now, well actually, there is one thing he can do.

"You wanna do something for me? Keep this from Elena. Last thing she needs is another grave to mourn" he looks like he's gonna cry and I have to get away from him before that happens, I can barely handle Elena crying let alone anyone else.

He can tell her that I skipped town. Ran away and joined the fucking circus. Anything. I don't really care just as long as she doesn't know I'm dying. I can't be another person that dies on her. Not when she believes that I'm one of the ones who was never supposed to.

Dear Diary,
Oh god, I don't even want to write this stuff down, I don't want it to be real. I should have listened to Damon. I should never have trusted Elijah.

Jenna is dead. Klaus...he. He turned her into a vampire and sacrificed her in the ritual and there was nothing I could do to stop it. All I wanted was to protect her, to keep her safe, and in the end I got her killed. She knew about vampires for 1 day! 1 day! And he killed her.

And Elijah was going to kill him, I trusted him I'm so stupid...I should have known better than to blindly put my faith in him. When the time came, Elijah didn't kill Klaus. I don't exactly know what happened because I was dead at the time.

Klaus killed me too. But I came back to life, not because of Damon's blood, but because John...my father, he gave his life for mine when he found out what Damon did. He didn't want me to become a vampire so desperately that he died so I could remain human. And he wrote me a letter, which was beautiful and he said:

'I ask only that you believe this, whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire I love you all the same as I've always loved you and always will.'

I wish...I wish I had tried harder with John, now I have no parents left at all, I don't even have a pseudo-guardian left, Jeremy and I...all we have now is each other. Damon, Stefan, Ric, Caroline and our other friends of course, but...we're all that's left of our family.

I'm sure Damon thinks I am angry at him because Jenna and John are dead, he probably thinks I blame him but I really don't. He saved Caroline and Tyler, that's why Klaus took Jenna and...yes John died because Damon fed me his blood but that was his choice to make. I don't blame Damon for that.

I'm still annoyed at him forcing me to drink his blood, and I think I will be for a while but if history is any indication I'm sure I'll find a way to forgive him sooner or later. It's not like I don't understand his motivations, I just don't like it, but right now I think we all just need to try and stick together.

We're going to need each other, all of us, over the next little while and of course there's the small matter of figuring out how to actually kill Klaus. I'd like to crawl into bed and stay there for the next ten years, these last few days have been exhausting and I just...I need some time to try and deal with everything and try to figure out how to...keep going.
Elena