A/N:

**clears throat nervously**

Uhm, have some badly written almost-smut and Zack feels?

Thanks to the wonderful Shivani who pulled me out of my spiral of writing-depression after some rather tetchy hate from random people.

Warnings: Badly written almost-smut and feels.

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Zack Fair did most of his thinking about life, love, and the universe in his bathroom.

As strange as that might sound to say aloud Zack felt comfortable in thinking most people were the same, no matter what Genesis said about Zack being an overexcited weirdo.

Zack's Shinra-supplied apartment was done in Shinra's universal cost-effective shades of despicably off-white and half-hearted gunmetal grey. Zack, needing to inject some serious cheer into his hallowed thinking space, did his best to spice things up by adding cheerfully vibrant washcloths and towels. The floor boasted a magnificent shag rug in an eye-searing shade of magenta that made the floor nearly glow. The bright orange toilet cover had been stolen twice- by Genesis, who had stolen Zack's spare key from Angeal- and stuffed in random trash cans, but Zack had hunted it down, washed it, and returned it to his proper place. Sephiroth, of all people, had gifted Zack the tie-dyed little glow-in-the-dark stars that Zack had tacked up around the mirror and then spread out over the walls. Angeal had provided the wicker multicolored hamper with the removable cloth bag to make laundry easier to move to the laundry room, thoughtful man that was.

So, really, Zack's sacred temple of philosophy was the coolest one in all of Shinra Tower and no one would ever convince Zack otherwise.

Still, as Zack stood still under the spray of his shower, his forehead resting against his braced arm while his other hand steadily worked his arousal, Zack wondered how he had gotten in this deep without really noticing.

Cloud had always been attractive to Zack. From the first moment Zack had laid eyes on the blond, covered in blood and all other manner of fluids on that shitty battlefield on the Northern Continent.

However, after that horribly awkward incident with that jackass Turk threatening Aerith wherein Zack had seriously put his foot in it, Zack had been determined to make up for his horrid first impression.

Well, the first that Cloud remembered anyways.

So Zack had begged Angeal for advice and, in the end, Cloud had actually given Zack a second chance to make a first impression.

That shy, sweet smile of Cloud's was going to be the death of Zack, he was sure of it.

As they spent time together, though, Zack's fantasies involving Cloud transitioned from being fragmented moments of mindless passion to actual domestic incidents.

That should have been his first clue, but for all that Zack could pick up details that most missed when he focused, he tended to miss blatantly obvious signs sometimes.

Zack no longer simply wanted to see Cloud arch up in pleasure while in Zack's bed- though Zack was very, very interested in seeing that in living color- but also seeing a sleepy, grumpy Cloud in the mornings. Hair all askew and wearing one of Zack's shirts- or being shirtless, either would be delectable- stumbling into the kitchen while Zack made the first pot of morning coffee. Zack could just picture the sweet, though still slightly grumpy, grin when Zack sat down a piping hot cup of coffee- the mug would obviously have a golden Chocobo on it, perhaps with a cute saying because Zack was a dork like that- in front of him as Zack took his own seat across the table.

Zack could just see it, could see that another thousand or so domestic moments that made him warm and hot at the same time.

Zack wanted to be able to walk up behind Cloud when the blond was ambushed by the girls, wrapping his tanned arms around all three of them, because anyone Cloud deemed worthy of his love was worthy of Zack's love too.

That and the girls were amazing in their own right, but the fact that Cloud loved them just made them that much more special to Zack.

Zack wanted to watch his Mum and Cloud's Ma chat over family dinner while Zack's poor Dad tried to keep up with the conversation. Tifa and Aerith- and possibly Aerith's Mama, as Elmyra loved Cloud almost as much as she loved Aerith- would be there, too. Of course Zack would be there, Cloud tucked up next to him as the blond offered snarky little comments and sweet smiles.

Zack would love for Angeal, Seph, and Gen to be there, too, but that could come a bit later, when the family was a bit more comfortable with the elite trio of SOLDIERs.

Zack wanted to watch Cloud work on his amazing projects in his little shop. Zack adored the stubborn little furrow that formed in between Cloud's brows as he worked through the unexpected complications of a project. The way the blond's pouty bottom lip would be abused by his teeth as Cloud methodically worked through the kinks.

Truthfully, there was a damn good reason as to why Zack stayed seated at one of the little side-tables as much as possible when Cloud was busy. The man was damn adorable!

Zack grunted and worked himself faster as his favorite fantasy slithered through his mind's eye.

One of his absolutely favorite fantasies was the one that had Zack propping his head up on Cloud's good shoulder to get a better look at what the blond was tinkering with. Zack would slip his arms around the blond's waist and Cloud would settle back against him a let out one of those happy noises that made Zack's heart flutter and his blood rush south. Zack would kiss his way up Cloud's neck while slowly running his hands over the blond's hips before one hand would slip up to caress Cloud's lower torso and the other would skitter teasingly across his lover's thighs. Circling, but not quite touching the blond's growing arousal.

Cloud's voice would grow rougher as his attention slowly wavered from his project and onto Zack. Or Zack's ministrations, to be a bit more precise.

Zack really enjoyed the accent that slipped into Cloud's voice whenever he grew agitated.

As Cloud slowly relaxed into Zack's hold the SOLDIER would grow bolder and slip one calloused hand underneath Cloud's work shirt and tease the muscles properly. Zack would ensure to dance his fingertips across Cloud's injured arm, reassuring the blond that Zack adored all of him, even the parts of himself that Cloud despised.

Seeing as how Zack was taller, his erection would press against the full curve of Cloud's tantalizing ass. A fact Zack would love to take advantage of. Zack would just picture himself reaching around and grabbing hold of Cloud's clothed arousal. The thought of causing the blond's breath to hitch and sending that lovely arse bucking against Zack as the SOLDIER teased him with unfulfilling, playful strokes was quite enticing.

Actually, Zack had no real idea what would happen after that as he usually reached the point of no return as he imagined his name slipping past Cloud's parted lips as little more than an aroused moan.

"Zack…."

The tension coiled in his belly snapped and his vision whited out for a moment as he released.

Zack panted into his braced arm, sweat and water plastering his hair to his forehead as he came down from his post-orgasmic high.

But the ache in his chest, the one he wanted to fill with Cloud and stupid domestic moments and kisses and long conversations, only twisted a bit more. A bit larger, a bit sharper as the ache burrowed deeper inside his bones.

Zack's eyes misted over as he used his free hand to punch at the wall of his shower- not too hard, the shower was only reinforced to a certain point, after all- but that did nothing to alleviate the aching desire for Cloud to be a part of Zack's life. For Cloud to come fill the void inside Zack's life with his sweet smiles and unrepentant snark.

I never do anything with half my heart, huh Angeal? Zack thought somewhat morosely as he reached out his free hand fumble with the tap in order to adjust the water's temperature. He hissed when his hand slipped and the water went from 'a little too warm' to 'Shiva's favored bath water cold'. It took a few more half-hearted tries to get the water just right once again, but by that time the aftershocks had died down and his muscles felt a little less jelly-like.

It's worse than I thought. Zack mused thoughtfully as he slowly straightened and reached for his cheerful yellow washcloth and his favored soap. As he began scrubbing himself, he allowed his thoughts to drift back towards what had finally begun to accept.

I'm in love with him. Zack thought with a rueful grin as he replaced his washcloth and reached for his shampoo. It was the work of all of two minutes to finish his hair and before long Zack had completed his actual shower and reached out to shut off the tap.

I'm in way deeper than I thought. Zack sighed to himself as he hopped out of the shower, snagging his fluffy towel and drying himself off rigorously as he tried to get his mind ready to face the day.

As his hands went through the familiar motions of buckling up his uniform, Zack smiled softly- sweetly and tenderly and more than a touch wistfully- as he thought of his favorite blond. I wouldn't change it for anything, though. Knowing Cloud. Even if I wish I hadn't put my foot in it the first time we officially met. Zack decided as he double checked his gear and reached for his weapon, deftly fastening it to its the metallic sheath. He's amazing. Even if I never have a chance with him as a partner, just spending time with him is worth all this pathetic pining I'm doing.

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