Melanie tapped on the glass. "What's this?"
Miltia called out from behind her. "Don't touch that, it's not worth it. No one remembers this story anyway."
Melanie grinned, reaching around the glass. "Ah, I see. It's a camera. Come off it, Miltia. Of course people remember. And you know what? It's about time we had a glorious return." She picked up the camera and started rolling.
Standing at the top of the monumental spires of Beacon Academy, arms outstretched to heaven, Ozpin watches over all that transpires. Leaping from the pointy pinnacle, the wonderfully wise old professor lands with a tremendous crash in the midst of a crowd of dazed and confused students.
I look out upon you and all that I see
Is a roiling mass of wasted energy
But I'm going to bend the rules just this one time
Prepare yourself for battle or else you will die
Bursts of fire launch to the skies behind Ozpin as he continues.
Pay no heed to the man behind the curtain
Dig too deep and I'll be handing out a hurtin'
I'm the master planner, time tickin' like clockwork
Headmaster of Beacon, you gotta know there's job perks
If you kids want to step up and take me on
Then bring it on cause I'm waiting, Jaune
Not so cocky now when you're facing the master
Battle me, Miss Nikos, you're headed for disaster
And Blake don't you even start to think
I didn't know about your White Fang link
And Jaune, listen here, your mother called
She thought you wandered into Beacon after she lost you at the mall
Weiss, what's wrong, did I make you cry
You didn't get to be leader, it's no wonder why
Maybe your attitude wasn't exactly gold
You're whimpering and whining like you're a week old
Cause it's O to the Z to the P, I, N
Too great for Monty Oum who had to settle for Ren
I could do it but know better than to give Xiao Long a brain
Wonderful Wizard signing off, peace out, say my name
Giving no time for anyone to consider what they had heard, Glynda jumped in.
Say "wicked" if you wonder where's the good witch
Pickin' up the style as I change pitch
Here to bring you pain
Drive you all insane
You're all here against my better judgment so don't go against the grain
Or you'll find yourself in a world of hurt
Crushed under the power I exert
There's no ruby slippers gonna take you home
No yellow brick road leads to parts unknown
This ain't the emerald city, you understand?
Don't need a wand, just a wave of my hand
Put you in your place faster than the Wizard let's on
And don't make me laugh, it scares little girls like Jaune
Port leaps in, adding to the torrent of words.
Step up, girls, cause you're in my class
Beat you all down with a blunderaxe
Taking on monsters since I was a young lad
The teacher who'll clash and sports a smashing mustache
Hah ha!
The door to your success is the words I teach
So never interrupt when I make a speech
I'm a serious man, so I don't take no cheek
And maybe some humility is exactly what you need
Tell you all tales of my adventurous past
Then you'll be real warriors at last
And I'll help you all out if you'll excuse the intrusion
But wait till next time for the exciting conclusion
To top things off, Doctor Oobleck appears in rapid fire fashion.
Watch me bring it to a close
With my crazy flame throws
Talk, I'm the man who knows
How to make the facts exposed
Everybody thinks that my way is absurd
When I talk about how my weapon is words
But I get respect now when I show to tear it down
Here to teach you all a lesson, crash into the center of town
Expert on the now cause I learn from the past
And I can teach you how to get higher in the cast
I've been sitting in the back just waiting to let fly
Pressing on the attack and I make you wonder why
Why the Roosters would induce
Such an incredible brain
Set loose the caboose
And trash the whole train
Smash into the action so no one can deny
That I'm a bigger player than the R.W.B.Y.
And from the shadows, the rage-filled eyes of Adam Taurus startles even the most Cardin-y of students.
None can compare to the aura I've built
The mystery that surrounds me, now hush
Keep quiet, or I'll make a Ruby Rose Wilt
And in the same second I make Blake Blush
Cause I'm the masked man, Adam
And when they see me they go "AAH! DAMN!"
You see me and you can't believe it
But you've been waiting all year and need it
No bull, cause I'm here at long last
And now the show is gonna be a blast
We're doing this the hard way now
And these students can't ever take me down
I hear you asking if I fear the teachers or even the Grimm
And I know who you're talking about, but what about them?
I'm the sickest in the flows and rhymes and the beats
So when this is all over, you'll listen to me
Melanie finally stops rolling, because she hit the bottom of the hill. She looks up at a newer, shinier, more amazing camera than ever before, smiling at the audience. "Who won? Who do you think should be in the next one?"
Miltia steps up behind her sister. "And what do you think should happen in the new episodes of RubyRolled!, now updating weekly?"
And together they say. "But above all else, welcome back!"
