We walked into the crowded hallway after the tall, crew-cut guy opened the door with a nearly empty glass in his hand. I learned that his name was Aaron. Quinn took my hand as soon as we walked in, tingles were sent into my entire body because of her touch and the fact that she didn't care what people would say about us. Not that anyone had anything to say really. The party was not what I expected, I assumed it would be a typical high school party - house music blasting, people making out here and there (I was right about that) - and people dancing non stop. It wasn't anything like that. A dark, slow rock song was playing, no one was dancing. We walked into a big, smoke filled living room. There was people sitting around a table by the left corner of the room, I couldn't see what they were doing because of the unusally big brown couches. Quinn took me to the kitchen, she seemed to know the place very well. She poured a drink for me and then for herself.

"Drink up" she said.

I took a sip of the drink I had been handed, it was disgusting. I didn't know what it was, all I knew was that it was alcohol. So I kept it. Quinn, on the other hand drank up half the glass with one gulp. We walked out of the kitchen, Quinn was walking right before me and I followed her lead. She took me with her to a table surrounded by both boys and girls, they were all smoking. Every single one of them. My dad, who is a doctor, would force me to wear a damn mask if he knew I was going to a party where every single skull was holding a cigarette. Quinn sat down on the normal sized - small looking couch compared to the once on the other side of the room - I sat down beside her. My thighs were pressed against hers because two tattoo covered - during the moment tongue sucking guys refused to move their butts a little. Or, I mean, they probably didn't even notice us sitting there because of the tongue tangling. I looked away and watched Quinn light up a cigarette herself. For some weird reason, watching Quinn smoke made me more attracted to her. She looked so.. How do I describe this, "artsy". It was inspiring. I could write poems about how her lips pressed against the cigarette end or how she looked like a muse when she held it between her fingers, leaning her elbows against the jeans covered legs. The dark room was filled with all kinds of people. All of them seemed older than me and Quinn. Most of them were covered in tattoos just like the guys beside us, and the girl in front of us.. And the rest of the room. I felt like I didn't quite fit in, at all. Quinn did somehow, even though she didn't have pink hair or blue, or any tattoos. It was just her way that fitted in with the other group of dark, mysterious people.

"I love this song" she turned to me, leaning her head back on the couch with the cigarette still between her gaunt fingers.

"What's it called?" I asked.

"About A Girl"

"By..?" I asked again out of curiosity. The song wasn't too bad.

"Nirvana," she ashed the cigarette in the empty glass before her "you don't know about them?"

"Of course I know about Nirvana, I just never heard that song" I said, picking up the glass and taking another sip of the disgusting drink. I looked at the glass Quinn had ashed the finished cigarette in, she drank up really fast. It made me wonder if she maybe thought I was kind of a geek for not even being half way done with my own drink.

"So Q, why haven't you told us about your gorgeous friend over there yet huh?" a brown haired, green eyed guy with a short beard and a acne covered face asked.

"Well, she could have introduced herself, right Santana?" Quinn teased, a grin was glued on her lips.

"I'm Santana" I forced my hand forward and shook his.

"Christopher" he answered with a big smile on his lips and let go of my hand. "Q, are you coming over then? Bring your friend" he winked at me. It kind of creeped me out.

"Lay it off, Chris. She's not interested" Quinn laughed. "We'll come later"

"Go where?" I whispered into her ear.

"There" she pointed at the big couches, still, I couldn't quite see what they were up to. It looked like they were all just drinking and smoking, like they did where we were sitting.

"Oh, okay" I said.

She seemed to be really good friends with this Christopher guy, he was friendly. And he called her 'Q'. If I remember right, Rachel called her 'Q' one time when we talked about her. That was back when they were "in love". In love my ass. Quinn put her arm around me and looked at my glass, a soft chuckle left her mouth as she stared right at me, raising the left eyebrow with a smirk on her face. I shook my head and took the glass, drank the whole thing and jokingly slammed it on the table. I felt the liquor run down my empty stomach. I should have eaten something before going out. I slowly regretted it as my head and stomach began to lightly ache. I ignored it though, and it helped. After a while, I didn't even notice it.

"Damn, you seem to like that.." the girl right in front of me said. "You know, it's just pure alcohol.. Not a smart move" she laughed.

"Um... Yeah, I like it" I could feel the sarcasm in my voice.

"Her name's Fiona, she's really weird. Don't mind her, yeah?" Quinn whispered into my ear so the red haired girl in front of me wouldn't hear her as I felt Quinn's arm tighten around my waist.

"So where are you from?" she asked. She moved from her spot to next to me. The two lovers who sat there before had gotten up. They continued their kissing in the hallway from where I saw it.

"Portales, but I live here now" I said.

"Wow.. Portales. You know what?" her eyes widened.

"Yeah..?"

"You remind me of someone"

"O-okay..?"

"You look just like my dead aunt. Oh my god.." the red hair glowed even in the subdued room. "She was mexican too, you see-"

"I'm not Mexican"

"Oh.. I assumed"

"Leave her alone, freakshow" Quinn folded in.

The red haired girl, Fiona, took out what I thought was a cigarette from her pocket, it didn't look like a regular cigarette though. No, it was a damn joint. The girl was about to smoke weed. That explains the weird act, she was obviously high. And she was going to get higher, I didn't comment on it though. Quinn noticed and laughed at her, then looked at me to check if I found it awful.. I didn't care too much. Fiona lit up the joint. A pungent, strong oily herb smell surrounded us. The smoke lingered more than regular cigarettes in the air. She shut her eyes and let out a giggle for herself.

"So.. What's the momma's girl's name?" she asked.

"Momma's girl?," I laughed because she didn't even know me "Santana"

"Exotic" she grinned. "I'm Fiona, most people just call me freakshow. Like your friend over there" she pointed at Quinn. "Here, enjoy" she handed the joint to me, I shook my head "why not? Momma's girl, it's no time to be careful and tidy at a place like this"

"Shut up, take it away from me" the smoke was so close to me it felt like I was actually experiencing the same thing the smoker did. The bizarre girl just freakishly laughed and leaned back.

"Are you retarded?" Quinn stood up in front of her "leave her alone" she pulled me up by my wrist and took me out to the hallway. "God, I dislike that girl so much.."

"It's okay, I'm fine" I took Quinn's hand "so this is how you like to hang out?" I smirked and looked around.

"Does it not amuse you," she jokingly pushed me against the wall "huh?" she leaned in and pushed her warm, silky lips against mine. My knees got awfully weak, like never before with Quinn and my whole body relaxed. Her kiss was softer than cotton yet stronger than a tornado. Her hand roughly pressed against my chest, pushing me harder onto the wall, making it impossible for me to move. I felt so warm, it felt like my cheeks were as red as the colour of a red rose. Her cold hand lifted up to my cheek, cooling me down. She pulled back, I sighed in relief. Not because she stopped kissing me but because I stopped feeling warm as soon as I stopped being pressed against the wall, as soon as her body made room for air to come between us. It felt so good to not have to care about if anyone saw us. I felt free with her for once, when we were in public.

"That was.. spontaneous" I mindfully watched her.

"Well, you bring out this side of me" she smiled.

"Oh please, you're not shy about your wild sides" I taunted.

"I'm not.. You are though" she took my hand again. It felt like she was scared someone would think I wasn't with her if she stopped holding it, it was like she was scared someone would snap me away from her.

The hallway became emptier, people hung out in the kitchen or the big living room instead. I saw stairs which meant there were probably people upstairs too. The soft music in the background, it was a familiar song. Something I felt like I heard recently. I thought about what it was called for a long time but still didn't have a clue. I didn't ask Quinn about it, she was too busy lighting up a cigarette. That was the only time she didn't touch me - when she was smoking. Christopher, Quinn's friend, waved at us to go over to him when he spotted us in the hallway. Quinn just nodded, I looked another way. She smoked her cigarette, making me feel like I wish I had a camera with me just for the sole purpose of taking pictures of her otherwordly face. She amazed me, more and more after every new thing I got know about her. I ripped my eyes off Quinn and saw Fiona walk over to us. She was wearing a green/black tight, disgustingly short dress with fisnnet leggings and hideous shoes. It was awful.

"Oh.. I see.. Momma's girl came here with Quinn" she chuckled.

"What the hell did you think?" Quinn snapped.

"I thought your girlfriend was here with a guy" she had a devilish smile on her lips. "You don't look like a lady lover. You know," she laughed "for your information, you could do much better than Quinn over here.. Did you know she refused to go out with me? Can you believe that?" she kept laughing.

There it was. I knew something was up with the girl. She was after Quinn. She thought I was her girlfriend, which I wasn't just "yet" according to Quinn.

"I kind of can believe that," I said "I'm sorry" I turned my face.

"You just don't understand, do you?" Quinn started sounding aggressive.

"Are you going to hit me? Don't piss me off, Mexico!" she started shouting at me out of nowhere even though Quinn was the one who spoke to her.

"Go away, Fiona. You're wasted" Quinn calmly said as she took my hand and stood in front of me, as if I couldn't protect myself from the obsessive bitch.

"I don't get it, how? Why the hell!" she was laughing as she yelled. Like a real lunatic. I started understanding the nickname she was given.

"Will you shut up?" I pushed Quinn aside.

"Don't do that" she calmly said. The last two people remaining in the hallway besides us left as well.

"Do what?" I took a step closer. "Do what?"

"Go back to sticking your tongue down her throat before you get your ass kicked" she looked up at me.

"Just stop it, okay?," I said "you're embarrassing. Stop picking fights, it won't make her or anyone else want you more. Just back off" I said, she stepped back.

"I'm sorry," she sighed "oh, I just wish I hadn't done this. Can we start over? My name is Fiona, but people call me freakshow" she reached her hand forward with a friendly smile on her lips. I snorted and turned around.

A part of me felt kind of sorry for Fiona. She seemed like a really lonely person. Honestly, she didn't seem normal to me. Something just wasn't right with that girl.

"Something about you being cocky to other people makes you irresistible" Quinn said as she lead me back into the big living room.

"Are you getting tired?" I laughed. I looked at the clock around my wrist. 11.30pm.

"What?," she looked around "not at all. Are you?" she sounded worried.

"No, just asking"

"There he is," she pointed her head at Christopher "let's go" she briefly kissed my cheek.

"Finally, you know.. A line without Q is not an as satisfying line" he laughed. His eyes were now even more res and swollen than before. "Sit down, Jas and Lucas just left, take their seats. Santana, was it?" he said.

"Yeah" I looked at the table. I quickly started feeling bad and guilty about being at the party. About being there with Quinn.

"Sit down, you're about to have the time of your life, sweetcheeks" he gave me a tacky smile that made the bags under his eyes pop even more.

"Me?," I nervously laughed "Quinn? What is this?"

"Calm down," she laughed and brushed her hand against my arm "you're so cute when you overreact"

The table before us was messy. It looked like it hadn't been whiped in years. Christopher took out a little bag of his pocket and put it on some kind of extra surface on top of the table. He took out a blade - yes a damn blade - and started chopping the what obviously was cocaine into powder. He formed the powder into thin lines and handed out kind of short straws for us. One for me, one for Quinn and one for himself. I was starting to feel a bit scared. I wasn't used to stuff like drugs and so on, I had never even been near people using drugs. It was new and alarming. For one second I was worried that I would fall into peer pressure. Just one second.

"What the hell Chris? Give me one of those!" a dark haired girl shouted.

"Get your own stuff, will you?" he sassed and looked back at us. The others around us were talking as if nothing big was happening. As if it was normal. It probably was - for them. "Okay girls, are you ready? Come on, Q" he smiled and sat down on the armchair next to the couch we were sitting on.

"Santana goes first" she smiled at me.

"No, Quinn.. I don't want to" I said and put the straw down on the table.

"Santana, come on?," she looked disappointed "it's not dangerous, it's just here.. To have a little extra fun" she tried to convince me.

"No I really don't want to" I said.

"Fine. If you really don't want to then fine" she said.

Christopher couldn't wait so he put the straw in one of his nostrils and chased one out of five lines he had prepared. He pulled his head up again and snorted harder. He looked over at Quinn who was preparing her tube. She put it into her nostril and snorted really hard directly, not the way Christopher did it. It made me think she was used to doing it. She took a twenty second break and did another line the same way. Then she dropped the tube and leaned her head back. She put her arm around me again.

"You sure you don't want to try?" he said to me with an dark, raspy voice, moving to the other armchair next to me. "How old are you, gorgeous?" he said.

"I'm sure I don't want to try" I looked over at Quinn. I started to feel really angry, disappointed. "I'm eighteen" I said.

Then I started thinking and it all made sense. The drug thing was what Brittany was warning me about. She was worried about me doing the same thing Quinn did: using cocaine and God knows what else.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked me.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Better than ever" she smiled.

"Eighteen huh.. So I'm practically just three years older than you" he had a smug look. He started being overly clingy and Quinn didn't do anything about it. "Come on, lovely, try some" he said again.

"I'm going home now, Quinn" I stood up. I started walking towards the door, I bumped into Fiona on the way out. She stood by a corner and just waved at me. I waved back and kept walking, I opened the front door and walked out, wondering if there was a bus stop somewhere near. I didn't even have a car with me. Quinn was the one who drove us to the party. I stood right on the sidewalk outside the house, I didn't know where I was, I didn't have a car. I had no choice but to just try to walk home.

"Had a fight with Quinn, didn't you?"

I looked back and the weird, mood swingy girl stood behind me. Her face was sympathetic, as if she actually cared.

"No, we didn't fight" I stopped walking.

"It looked like you did"

"It wasn't a fight" I said again, I looked at the big house that was just about more than ten feet away from me.

"Oh... I see," she put on the creepy smile "she ditched you"

"Quinn didn't ditch me. I ditched her"

"Why?" she asked.

"Why the hell do you care? Just leave me alone" I said.

"I watched you, I think you're angry because she's snorting coke" she laughed.

"It doesn't matter" I said, even though the words from Fiona's mouth hit my chest.

"Poor girl.." she said as if I was ten years old. "You're not used to these kind of parties aren't you? You thought you were coming to a frat party, didn't you?" she laughed again.

"Kind of, I didn't expect this" I admitted.

"Go home, kid"

"Kid?" I snorted.

"Aren't you like sixteen?"

"I'm eighteen"

"Oh, I'm twenty-three so you're still a kid"

"Not really, but fine, whatever. I need to get going" I answered.

"Are you walking, now?" she widened her eyes. I nodded. "Poor you, does it upset you that Quinn clearly doesn't love you anymore?" she smirked. "Let me tell you som..-" Fiona was cut off.

"Santana!" she called and took rushed steps towards me. She eyed Fiona so she would leave us. She grabbed my arm. "Are you angry?"

"Yes, Quinn. I'm angry. Does it really surprise you?" I said, looking at Fiona who without an argument, left.

"Why the hell are you angry?" she really didn't get it.

"Quinn? Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious"

"You were using drugs for crying out loud!" I shouted. "And what the hell was up with your friend? He's such a creep. You didn't even care that he was hitting on me.." I calmed down when Quinn slowly walked closer to me.

"Oh my god," she started laughing "that's what you're angry about? Santana, he is like that to everyone, even me. Damn it, he is like that to his own sister. It's just his personality, he's weird, yeah. But he's a cool guy, you know?"

"Yeah..?" I said. She sounded so calm about it it made me wonder if I was overreacting.

"Santana.. Come on, the coke, it's not like it's a everyday thing. I just do it on parties and stuff.. I swear, I'm not an addict or anything" she smiled - a smile I couldn't turn away from.

"Really?" I said with an unsteady voice.

"Really, Santana.. I promise" she walked even closer to me. Her eyes didn't look quiet right, it felt like her pupils were bigger than they usually were.

"No Quinn, I can't be okay with this. I just can't" I answered.

"Never again" she assured me. "Please? Santana, please"

"Never again or not again until the next time you go to a party?"

"It's not a big deal" she teased.

"You're being so ignorant"

"Fine. Santana, I won't do it. Ever again. How about that?"

"I don't trust you" I said.

"Good. Don't trust me" she responded.

"What?"

"Don't trust me. I was lying to you" she grabbed my arm, lightly. "I was lying, I will do it again. I probably will, you can either accept it or believe the lie I just told you"

I was shocked over how Quinn acted. I didn't know how to react or what to tell her.

"I-I don't understand"

"I don't want to lie to you, ever. You're too important. So I'm telling you the truth now," she pressed harder against my arm "what do you want to to do?"

I just shook my head. I tried hard to come up with something to say. It was just really hard to speak. I didn't want to leave her - I really didn't. I liked Quinn too much to let her go over something like that. I mean, I'm not saying it's good to snort coke. I'm just saying that I was too crazy about her to let it prevent me from loving her.

"Is it just something you'll do on parties.. Sometimes?" I said as I slowly started hating myself for once again forgiving her.

"Really, Santana. Please.. I can't lose you" her eyes were glued on mine.

"Okay.." I stared back. "Okay" I took a long pause to look at the smile on her lips and get used to my arm not being held my her hand. "Let me just drive us home"

We sat down in the car and I looked at her to just check that she was still with me. To convince myself yet again that I had just forgiven Quinn for doing drugs. I shook my head at the thought of it and fasted my seatbelt.

"You make me so happy, Santana" she said. "You know, nobody ever made me this happy"

"Not even Rachel?"

"Rachel?," she laughed "Oh god.. Rachel. I forgot about that. No, not even Rachel. Only you"

I started the engine - happy about the fact that she had forgotten about her and Rachel, which meant she liked me more than she ever liked her. Yes, I acted like a ten year old girl with a crush. I really was. I just couldn't help it, Quinn was that person for me. However, I was surprised still. I didn't think I was coming to that kind of party. I mean, I knew Quinn was unique, that she stood out from the crowd but I never expected her to be the kind who uses drugs and stuff. Cocaine? God. My dad would kill me. Yet how come even though I knew how bad these things were or how much I disliked the fact that Quinn used it 'only on parties' I couldn't be mad at her about it for too long? I couldn't. It was impossible for me to see the bad sides in her - I glorified them, painted them over - made them beautiful.

"Wait a second.." I said.

"What is it?"

"If I'm driving you home now, that'll mean I'll have your car until Monday. I can't meet up this weekend"

"Then drive yourself home and let me drive back"

"No way. You can crash at my place"

Quinn was quiet for a minute. So was I. I didn't think about my offer, really. I kind of just blurted it out.

"I'm not drunk, or even affected by the coke. It was two lines" she laughed.

"I don't care. And you are affected. Plus you had a lot to drink.. For gods sake, I wasn't even finished with half my glass when you had already finished yours," I ranted "make up your mind before I turn"

"Says miss gulping a full glass in two seconds.." Quinn said.

"I was following your lead" I jeered.

"Fine, you know what, take me home. My parents are expecting me to be there'' she said.

"What will they say about your car being gone?" I said.

"I'll just tell them I had a lot to drink, which I didn't. It was one glass.. Just like you for that matter. I'll tell them I left it there and a friend took me home. Just take me home, will you? I've done this before"

I drove Quinn home at last and before she stepped out of the car, she stroked my cheek and put a thick strand of my hair behind my ear, making my entire body shiver. Her face was calm, her slow breathing was soothing, harmonius.

"Thank you for being you" she said and stepped out of the car with a reposing smile on her face.