A/N: Okay so this is the little chapter that I wrote to try and bridge the gap between seasons and some of you wanted to read it so I've posted it. For those of you that don't want to read it I promise to return to our regularly scheduled drama very soon. I do need to take a few days off though because I've been working flat out on this for weeks now but I WILL be back in a few days with The Birthday. Thank you as ever to my amazing reviewers and readers. Let me know what you think if you do read this one. I do not own TVD.

The Summer In Between

"Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
And I will try to Fix You"

The Morning After The Night Before

Yep I'm a coward. Sue me. I left the house while Elena was sleeping because I can't bear to hear her questions about where her boyfriend is and what he's doing. And I definitely can't bear to see the look in her eyes, the guilt for what happened last night, the regret, the blame. So like the coward that I am I took the easier option and left the house while I could. Vampire speed comes in handy like that sometimes.

I went to get Ric and we went to his apartment which...yeah. That place looks like a scene from a very bad Halloween movie and I know now exactly what went down. I mean, I pretty much knew last night when Katherine said Stef 'gave himself over to Klaus' but now I know for sure. Stefan's literally handed himself over on a silver platter. For me. Fucking fabulous.

And you know what else is fucking fabulous? I'm gonna be the one that ends up cleaning this shithole of an apartment as well. Even a compelled cleaner wouldn't do half as good a job as I will and truth be told no more people than necessary should have to see this place. Even if they will forget it afterwards.

With that in mind I spend an hour or so cleaning up the destruction before Elena gets it into her very pretty but stubborn little head to come over here and find things out on her own. She'll be awake now. Hell she was probably awake when I left; it's just easier to pretend that I thought she was asleep.

But I've put it off long enough and I know it's time to face the music. I'm not one for putting things off, I just...this mess of a situation? I needed some time to figure out a decent way to tell Elena what's going on. To an extent. For sure I'm not telling her all of the gory details.

Ye-ep. As I thought. She's awake and she's pissed.

As soon as I'm in she's demanding answers so I give her the...nicest version of the truth that I can. My brother is one hell of a vampire when he gives in to the people stuff. And by one hell of a vampire I mean he's a ripper. There aren't too many of them. And my brother is by far the most infamous. By ripper I mean that he literally...rips his victims apart. Only afterwards he feels guilty as sin so he tries to put them back together. It's not a pretty picture. Trust me.

But the only thing Klaus could possibly want Stefan for is because of that, so as I said, he's handed himself over on a silver platter, he's given up his life, his love, and probably eventually his humanity as well to save me.

Of course I don't say all of that to Elena. No. Instead I try to paint her a relatively pretty picture that I'm sure she probably sees straight through but I'm not going to shatter her fucking illusions. I'm not gonna be the one who breaks the 'epic' dreams she has of my brother. Not. A. Chance.

Remember what I said about fighting for Elena after the sacrifice? Yeah well that plan's gone to shit now. Nope. Not gonna happen. Now I have to chase after my baby bro and bring him back from the brink, clean up his little messes again and preserve true loves dream all at the same time.

Did I mention that this was just fucking fabulous?

The Summer In Between

So it's been around a month and a half since my brother did a disappearing act on us and no one has heard a peep from him. Not that that's unexpected really. I've been, covertly, following the news reports, chasing down leads, covering up disturbingly disgusting crime scenes and...trying to hold Elena together. Sometimes literally. Sometimes figuratively.

Really, I've become quite domesticated. Who would have known? The first couple of weeks Elena was a mess. It's no surprise really after everything she's been through in the last...10 months. Christ it's not even been a whole year. I forget sometimes, just how young she actually is. Or maybe I just forget how old I actually am.

Anyway she was having nightmares, wouldn't eat, barely sleeping, barely...functioning actually. Ric's been staying at the Gilbert house, so that's where I've been most days, well okay, every day that I'm not cleaning up my brother's messes. I've been cooking, cleaning, because no one else can do that, playing video games, I'm the shoulder they cry on, the glorified babysitter, the drinking buddy, essentially. I've been Friend Zoned.

Which is fine. I can live with that. Or at least I could, were it not for the fact that she kissed me. And never mentioned it again. Not a peep. Not even a syllable. Nothing. As if it never happened. Only. It did. Oh it really actually did. I've replayed that entire night a hundred times in a hundred different ways in my head over the past month and there's no denying that it definitely did happen.

You know what else keeps happening? Furtive glances. Raised heartbeats. Flushed cheeks. 'Accidental' bumps and gentle brushes of hands or hips. Occasional longing glances. Okay those last ones might be mainly from me. She's the furtive, I'm the longing. But I see them. Of course I can't do anything about it can I? Because that would just make me the biggest dick in the world.

So instead, I'm just trying to fit all the pieces together, only this jigsaw is missing a vital fucking piece. My brother. Who'd have thought I'd actually miss the little bugger?

What I really need to be doing is finding Katherine, she might actually be useful in this situation, it seems she is pretty damn good at keeping an eye on my brother, at the very least she might be able to tell me the full details of what went down the night I nearly bit it. But I won't do that because I can't leave Elena for that long, she doesn't really...handle it well when I'm not around.

Hey it's nice to be needed for a change and I'm not really complaining. My brother's gone down the ripper road to hell before and chances are he'll do it again, forever is a very fucking long time but we need to bring him back, he would never have chosen to do this were it not for me and I owe him. And he's my brother. And Elena needs him.

Andie is proving to be kinda useful at helping as well, on the days when Elena doesn't need me to be her comfort blanket she provides me with a welcome distraction from the harsh realities of my new situation and this warped triangle I've managed to get myself into again. And she's useful at helping with the news leads, being a news-lady does have its perks.

It's Elena's 18th birthday in two weeks and at the moment Vampire Barbie has enlisted my help, and my house in throwing her a party. Personally I don't think it's the best idea in the world but then again no one ever asks me what I think so who I am to talk? I just say yes, nod and agree when Blondie asks me things these days and hope to hell I'm not selling her my soul.

Dear Diary,
These last couple of months have been...both hellish and...oddly normal.

Obviously I'm terrified about what's going on with Stefan. I just...I would feel better if I knew for sure that he was alive. I'm sure that Damon knows more than he's letting on, but no matter what I do or say he just tells me that he's told me everything he knows.

Damon has been...amazing, there's really no other word to describe what he's been over the summer. He's literally become my rock, I know it's not fair to him, the way I've been leaning on him, relying on him, but I just need him so much and he's been there for me every step of the way.

Sometimes he even manages to make me forget about everything that's going on and I laugh and I'm having fun and I feel free and alive and life is easy again for a little while. I don't know how I would have survived any of this without him.

I haven't brought up what happened the night he nearly died. The kiss. Because I don't know what to say about it, I mean I can't tell him why I kissed him. It sounds so...selfish. And I'm not going to lie to him and hurt him by saying it was out of pity or a 'goodbye' even though that's what I told Caroline it was. I can't tell anybody the truth.

Katherine's stupid words won't leave me alone. 'It's okay to love them both' god she's such a bitch. But those words I can't get out of my head. Is that the curse of the doppelganger? To continually fall in love with brothers? Because if it is then that's one hell of a twisted curse.

Not that I'm in love with Damon. Of course I'm not. I just...I don't know what I feel, I can't work it out. Stefan being gone...doesn't make things easier. I know I feel something for Damon, it's always been something! But I feel like I've been fighting with myself for so long that I can't work out the truth anymore.

But I also know that it doesn't matter right now, what matters is getting Stefan back from wherever he is. What matters is bringing him home. To both of us. I know Damon misses him just as much as I do, even if he'd never say so.
Elena