I highly recommend re-reading the last chapter.

The Cranks' screams are raw and guttural. It reminds me of the Cranks locked in WICKED's basement, and how the electricity surged through their bodies, and mine. I grind my teeth at the memory. It happened just a few days ago, but it feels like months. Too much has happened.

" What the bloody hell are those things? " Newt asks, and his eyes find mine.

" Cranks. " I say, and then the Familiars erupt in a panic of loud questions and commands. I try to tune them out, to tune it all out and go back to sleep, but the Cranks prevent it. Their haunted screams echo throughout my mind, replaying like a broken record. Over and over and over. What if they break the glass? They are far worse than Grievers. If they were just Grievers, I would be able to disable them and we would be fine. But the Cranks listen to no one; their crazed minds only listen to themselves. There's no way to protect ourselves.

My eyes can't seem to leave them. They don't look like the Cranks I saw at WICKED. No, these are far worse. The madness has overtaken their mind, and it pilots the bodies. They look like husks of their former selves, and I don't even know what they looked like before. All I know is that these people are dead to the world. Perhaps the only thing they crave is human flesh. Exactly like a zombie. The only difference being these people can at least attempt to be smart and clever. They can use their disease ridden brains and figure out a way to hunt you down and kill you.

But one of them doesn't look so crazy. In fact, she looks completely normal save for the few cuts she-

Nandini.

Her brown eyes flicker between Newt and me, slowly widening. My heart is thudding in my chest, threatening to burst out. This is just…..Impossible! How did she escape from WICKED? I don't want to admit it, but I had hoped she would be past the Gone or dead by now. Yet, here she is, nearly healthy and staring at her brother. The one she is going to end up killing.

" We can't stay in here. " I say, my eyes remaining on Nandini. She bangs on the glass, screaming now. When she does that she looks exactly like the other Cranks.

" Newt! " She screams and I stand up. " Newt! It's me! Nandini! Don't you remember? " The words are muffled by the glass, but Newt is transfixed on the girl, and he slowly stands, dropping my hand.

" We have to get out. Now. " I growl, grabbing Newt and trying to pull him away from the window. But he keeps walking, as if I'm not even here.

" It's me. " Nandini yells, and my eyes dart over to her, a silent plea for her to shut the hell up. " I'm your sister. "

Newt puts his hand on the glass, right where her's is. His eyebrows are drawn together in confusion, as if he thinks he remembers, but doesn't. There's probably a flurry of images passing through his mind; ones of them having fun, but not enough to form a solid thought about her.

" Don't you remember? " She asks, " We were together up until ten years ago, when—"

" Shut the hell up Nandini! " I yell, enraged and full of panic. This can't be happening. Newt can't know. He can't.

I can feel the Familiars' eyes on me, each gaze accusing. But I don't care. All that matters is getting out of this room. Away from the Cranks and away from Nandini.

Her eyes dart over to me. " Louisa. " She hisses through the glass, " You look better, better than you did in WICKED's basement, at least. "

My blood turns to fire. Does she know she's killing her brother? Now that he knows….

Newt now knows he has a sister. He knows I knew it. He knows I kept it from him. He's going to be pissed at me. I have so many secrets now, it just, I can't tell him the truth. It would crush me, and him.

The few days we were happy were nice while they lasted.

Newt's hand drops from the glass as he slowly turns and faces me. The confusion is evident, but it seemingly clears away with each second, replaced by a hot, raging fury. I shrink under his gaze, something I've never done before. I've never had this fear inside of me. We've been separated before, but that wasn't by choice. What if he pushes me away?

He opens his mouth to speak, to yell, to do something, but I never find out what it is. I turn and push past the Familiars, and sprint out of the room. I know Nandini will tell them everything. How I murdered someone, how I nearly tortured her, how I left her in the darkness. The Familiars will finally realize how bad of a person I am.

The hallways are hot and stuffy, but the main room is even worse. The bodies are still there, festering in the heat. I lean against the nearest wall, letting my back slide down it as I draw my knees to my chest. The body closest to me is my mom, and I find myself staring at her. She's so beautiful, even with the gunshot wounds in her shoulders and stomach. I wish I were more like her. She was strong; she endured. I'm just crumbling under everything.

What's wrong with me? Why do I have to feel this pain all the time? God must really hate me, just like everyone else. Newt says he doesn't want to lose me, but I bet he doesn't feel that way now. Family is more important to someone than a girlfriend, or a boyfriend. When I found out I had a brother, I was so happy. If someone tried to keep me away from him, I would've killed them because I wanted someone I could connect to my past.

If Newt feels like that…God help me.

" What am I supposed to do, mom? " I ask, hoping that somewhere she can hear me and lead me to do the right things. " I lied to him. But it was to save his life, even if he doesn't know it. "

" Talking to walls now, are we? " I hear Janson ask, and I jump up to my feet. He's sitting behind a desk, his feet propped up on it. He holds a book in his hand, and he licks he fingers as he turns the page. But, he looks slightly distorted, as if there's a barrier.

" How could you understand? " I growl as I hear footsteps from the hallway behind me. He looks at me from over his book with a slight smirk. I make sure to put as much hate into my gaze as possible. My eyes dart to my brother, who might not actually be my brother, in a silent plea for advice. But dead bodies don't talk.

I blink and they are gone. No stink, no blood dripping onto the floor, no family. All evidence of them being here wiped away in a split second. Was it just a hallucination, a dream maybe? No, everybody saw it. But how did they get rid of the bodies so fast? I didn't even see anyone move anything! Only one explanation, but it's so ridiculous that I don't even want to consider it.

" Where did they go? " I ask, completely baffled and mystified, but I don't let it show in my voice or on my face.

" Where did what go? " Ratman asks in a sickeningly sweet voice, " Louisa, honey. I think you're starting to see things. "

I charge forward with the intent to knock his teeth down his throat, anger seething through every pore. But I slam into a barrier before I can get closer than ten feet. He glances up at me, then back down at his book as if I'm no more than a roach. I take a couple steps back, and I sit down on the floor and glare at him.

Then, as the footsteps get louder, he stands, rushes toward me and past the barrier. Next thing I know, there's a knife pressed to my back, and I'm on the other side of the invisible wall. My breathing halts, and the knife point digs into my back. This can't be happening.

" Last time I let them do it. Let them have all the fun. " He whispers, and the footsteps I heard earlier get louder, " This time, I'm going to savor every second of it. "

He drops me, and I try to scramble away, but I end up with a bloody nose. I can feel blood dripping down my back, and the cut stings. At least it didn't burn like it did when I was strapped to that table. At least the blade isn't poisoned. The sound of metal scratching against the floor resonates throughout the room, and then Janson grabs me by the back of my shirt and shoves me in a chair. I move to get up, but he shoves me back down. I hear the clinking of metal, and pressure on my wrist. When I look down, I'm handcuffed to the chair.

" I'll make what happened in that room seem like child's play. " Janson croons just as Minho walks in. His eyes go wide and he runs forward with every intent to bash Janson's face in. But he slams face first into the barrier, and falls on his ass.

" Great job Minho. I should give you a kiss. " I roll my eyes, despite the fear that's implanted inside me. Janson puts a hand on my shoulder as Minho stumbles up to his feet.

" Let her go. " Minho growls, clenching his fists. I hear the hiss of a blade being taken out of it's sheath, and feel it's presence on my neck.

My heart seizes.

Frypan, Winston, Thomas, and Aris walk into the room, tensing up as soon as they see Janson and the knife. I try to control my breathing, but that's kind of hard to do when you're scared for your life. Thomas turns and sprints back down the hall, to do what, I don't know. All I know is that there's is a knife at my neck, and that it's different than the one that I was stabbed in the back with. He didn't put that knife in a sheath. This one is different in some way, and it's probably poisoned.

Thomas comes back moments later, with Newt following behind him. I can see panic and concern flash through his eyes, but he doesn't rush forward. Instead he goes and stands next to Frypan, never taking his eyes off me.

" Here's the deal. " Ratman says once everybody is in here, " Louisa here has committed some crimes. She's killed a member of WICKED, who happened to be a close friend of mine. "

Oh hell. Oh hell.

" She needs to pay for what she's done. " He says, and the knife leaves my neck. For a moment I nearly sag with relief, but then the knife is at my hand, and he's grabbing my fingers.

" Pick a finger. "

" You can't make her! " Minho yells, " That's too much of a punishment for killing someone. "

The knife goes back to my neck.

" Would you rather I take her life? " Ratman says and he pushes the knife into my neck and I wince, and then warmth spreads down, and onto my collar bone.

" I would rather you leave her the hell alone! She's suffered enough! "

My breathing is coming in rapid huffs. I can't die here. I can't. Newt does't know the truth, I haven't protected him.

" Hmm. " And the knife leaves my skin, and I hear it clatter on the desk. The Familiars visibly sag with relief but my heartbeat is still erratic. " I'll leave her alone. "

I want to feel relieved, but I can only feel scared. Janson won't let something like this go so easily. He unlocks the handcuffs and shoves me out of the chair and through the barrier. I land on the ground, gasping and sputtering, tears forming at the corners of my eyes. I'm alive. For now.

Minho is immediately at my side, and then he sees my back. He narrows his eyes at it, then glares at Janson, then looks back at me, his expression soft.

" You've got to stop doing that. " He says, pulling me into his arms, wary of the cut on my back. I wrap my arms around him, and I expect Newt to put a hand on my shoulder, and say how glad he is that I'm alive, but nothing happens.

So I melt into Minho's embrace.

" Thirty minutes until I initiate Phase Two. " Janson says, sitting down at his desk and picking up his book.

I don't move from Minho's arms, and he doesn't make me. I feel safe here. Like Minho is shielding me from Ratman. Odd, considering I always tell him I hate him. I don't think about it, and try not to read into it too much.

" Louisa, are you okay? " I hear Thomas ask, and I nod my head. I regret the movement as soon as I do it as I feel the cut in my neck pull. I turn my head and rest it on Minho's shoulder, my eyes finding Newt's. I can't read the expression on his face, but I swear hurt flashed through his eyes; hurt, anger, and sorrow.

It's not my fault. It's not my fault. I tell myself that over and over, even though I know it isn't true. I lied to him, I hurt him. I'll never forgive myself for that, so how can I expect him to forgive me?

" Why didn't you tell me I had a sister? " He asks quietly, and my stomach drops.

" I'm protecting you. " My voice comes out hoarse as I push away from Minho. I sit on my knees and force myself to look Newt in the eyes, even as all the fury I saw earlier comes back.

" From what? " He hisses, " What threat could she possibly pose? "

Janson laughs.

" I'm protecting you from yourself and her. You don't get it. You won't get it. " I feel like crawling into a hole and staying there, or running away. I don't want to have this conversation with Newt. I don't want what we had to fall apart.

" Tell me. "

" No. " Please, just leave it alone.

He strides forward and grabs my arm, squeezing hard. I wince and look away, my mind flashing back to those times in the Glade with Reed.

" Tell me. "

" I won't be the one to destroy you. " I rip my arm out of his grasp, and rub where he had grabbed it. I can tell it's going to bruise. His eyes widen as he realizes what he's done, and he shakily puts his hand by his side.

" Who are you? " He whispers and I turn my eyes towards him, my heart seizing. " Because the girl I fell in love with would never keep secrets from me. "

" The girl you fell in love with would do anything to keep you safe. Even if it meant you would hate her. " I turn my head, unable to hold his gaze any longer the disappointment in it.

I stand and walk away from him—away from everyone.

I just need to be alone.

….

The bathroom is the only place I can find that will let me have a single moment of solitude. The slick tiles don't bother me as I sit down on them, and draw my knees to my chest. I rest my head on them, and squeeze my eyes shut, willing everything to just disappear.

I've never felt so helpless, so useless. All I'm doing is making empty promises to people who need someone like Thomas, or Minho, or Newt. They need a leader. I'm not that. I'm someone who keeps secrets, cries, and just wallows around in self-pity. What kind of person have I become?

I wish, more than anything, for Newt to be immune. I would trade my own life for it. It would make things so much more simple. It would make my life so much easier. I have to become strong. For him. If I don't, then everything will just fall apart. I can't let that happen.

I don't want to think about it anymore.

Instead, I turn my mind to the memory I had. The memory of spending time with my father, and my brother. Wait—not my brother, but someone else. A person who was sent to take his place. Who is my real brother? Is my true brother dead, just like the imposter?

No, Noah wasn't an imposter. Even if he wasn't my biological brother, he was there for me when I needed him most. He supported me just like a brother should. From what I can remember, my parents eventually came to love him. My mom regarded him with affection and love, and he loved her just as much. He may not have been born into the family, but he grew into it.

But that doesn't mean I don't want to find my biological brother. Would he remember me? Does he hate me? Is he even alive? He deserves to know what happened to mom and dad. He deserves to know what happened to his family. Not only that, but he's the only family I have left. I have to find him.

But….but what if he—

No. I can't consider that fact. I…..Can't….

My thoughts slow to a halt. My eyes flutter shut and the room goes dark as I lose myself in my mind.

….

I'm back in the Maze. The air is dry and hot, and it makes my eyes water. I wipe them and look around. The Deadheads are nothing but smoldering ash, and the Homestead is surrounded by flames that stretch high into the nighttime sky. I take a step and hear a sickening crunch under my foot. When I look down, a cracked skull darkened with soot is staring up at me. My eyes try to leave it, but another one is next to it, and another next to that one. I realize the field around me is an ocean of half rotten bodies and skulls under a thick layer of ash.

My stomach lurches and I bite back my scream. Strangled yells permeate the air, and my feet carry me toward them even though I don't want to wade through the bodies. Each step I take results in the crunch of a skull or a rib or a leg, and I wonder who I'm stepping on.

Then I'm falling. My stomach rises into my throat. Down, down and down. The flames disappear into the night and the stars fade. Voices whisper accusing me of any and everything.

" She's the one that killed her friend. "

" She betrayed her friend. "

" She's a failure. "

" She got her family killed. "

" She's a horrible person. "

My mind swims with these insults, and I cover my ears trying to block them out.

" No. No. No. " I yell. " That's not true! "

Newt appears in the darkness, falling with me. I smile at the sight of him, but he remains stoic. Blood starts to stain his blond hair, dripping down into his face and it runs down his neck. Places of his skin starts to rot, altering his face and his shirt starts to sag more as he looses muscle. Sorrow warps his features, and he starts to dissolve into nothing. Parts of his disintegrating and falling into the blackness. A strangled scream escapes me and he manages to get one sentence out before he disappears completely.

" This is all your fault. "

My feet land on the ground, surprisingly soft considering how long I was falling. My legs give out and I drop to my knees.

" No. " I whisper, Newt's existence fading into nothing replaying through my mind.

This is all my fault.

….

When I wake up I can feel tears, hot and wet, streaming down my face. That wasn't a memory. That was a nightmare. And it was pure and utter hell.

The blood on my back is partially dried, making it sticky. My vision is blurred because of tears, causing the world to appear in a blur of tan and black. I rub my eyes in an attempt to clear my sight just as I feel a gust of stuffy wind.

My heart drops to my stomach.

I'm in the middle of the Scorch, and the building I was in is no where to be seen.

HEYY GUYS! IM NOT DEAD.

Yea, so sorry about not updating. I was in a bit of a slump and kind of took a short break. I worked on this chapter throughout the whole month, so sorry if my thoughts seem a bit scattered in places.

Also, you all have one person to thank for this chapter going out today. SWAGMASTER5000! AKA the person who reads the chapters via DM on instagram before I get them up. She mentioned something and it just set my mind rolling. Thank you so much my best internet friend.

Anyway, please don't kill me for taking so long to get this out. Also, please don't kill me for taking Louisa away from the Gladers. This kind of has to happen.

NANDINI MAKES A COMEBACK! And Lewt suffers as a consequence. But... Minhlo though.

Next chapter will be out soon. I have refreshed inspiration.

Also, I'm praying for Paris, and for the world. Dear readers, please stay safe.