A/N: As ever you guys rock, thank you for the welcome back and I'm glad you all seemed to enjoy our Season 3 kick off. Not much to say today other than that, so enjoy the show! I own diddly squat. Love to own me some Damon though so if anyone's got any going spare send him my way.

The Hybrid

"I don't quite know how to say, how I feel
I don't know when, confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all"

There's a lady on the news reporting Andie's death, I had to leave her there at the station. I didn't want to but I had to, I have to protect my family first. Even if my family are behaving like idiots. And now I'm taking down the notes from my closet, no point in chasing down a lost boy who doesn't wanna be chased. God I need a hobby.

"Just can't stay away can ya?" I figured she'd still be pissed as all hell at me after I was such a dick to her last night and yet, here she is, back at the scene of the crime, so to speak.

"You've been dodging my calls" yeah most people would take that as a hint Elena. "Well busy day you know, dead fake girlfriend and all" – "Why didn't you tell me?" oh, you mean along-side all the other harsh truths I hurled at you last night? Happy fucking birthday Elena, your boyfriend killed my kinda-girlfriend, cake?

"He called me Damon" – "Wha-?" – "Stefan called me last night" Stefan did what now? Why now? Huh? "Well what'd he say?"

"He didn't say anything" umm...how d'ya know it was Stef-

"But it was him. I asked Sheriff Forbes if she would trace the calls origin. It came from Tennessee" – "Where he's binge drinking on the country folk. We went through this Elena. Stefan's gone and I don't mean geographically" please don't make me hurt you again; she knows how much I hate that.

"If he was gone he wouldn't have called" I don't know about that. Luckily she leaves which gives me a chance to consider what she said. My mind is still reeling from last night's events and I don't know whether I'm coming or going as far as either my brother or Elena is concerned.

What the fuck does a silent phone call mean anyway? It could mean jack shit, it could also mean that my brother pulled off one hell of a performance last night. And if that's the case then maybe he can besaved after all.

Bloody Elena obviously thinks so, a text message or three from Ric lets me know that Little Miss Stubborn Pants is on a rescue mission to rival no other, through the fucking werewolf packed Smoky Mountains on the night of a full moon no less. Honestly that girl has no sense of self-preservation what. so. ever.

I'm not normally one to recommend Katherine-esque tactics but honestly Elena could probably do with taking at least one page out of the Petrova Handbook for Survival. The one thing she doesn't know is that I'm 3 cars and twenty feet behind them the whole way.

Girl is pretty damn un-observant when she's on a mission as well, someone should probably start training her in this shit. Especially if she's gonna go walking around Klaus infested woods.

I come up silently behind Elena and throw her in the lake halfway through her sentence. Okay I might be a little pissed off with her latest 'how can I get myself killed today' plan and it might be a little gratifying to see her in the middle of the lake all...wet tantalising skin and clinging tank tops and fuck me even with her hair like a drowned rat she's still the sexiest thing I've ever laid eyes on and yeah I really should have thought this through first. Damn impulses.

"Damon. How are you even here?" well that'd be Ric's doing, put your damn crossbow down man it's only me. "Thanks for the tip brother" – "You sold me out" – "You think I'd take you into a mountain range of werewolves on a full moon without backup?" oh she's got her pissy face on. She's beautiful when she's angry.

"Get out of the water Elena" – "If I get out of the water you're gonna make me go home" well obviously, she knows me so well. "Yes. Because I'm not an idiot like you" – "You gave up on him Damon" – "I didn't give up on him Elena. Now get out of the water" – "No" oh for god sake.

"What's your big plan Elena huh? You gonna walk through a campsite full of werewolves, roast a marshmallow, wait for Stefan to stop by?" and I'm in the water with her. At least it does a good job of hiding certain parts of my anatomy.

"My plan is to find him and help him Damon. This is the closest that we've been to him since he left. I'm not going home" – "Klaus thinks you died when he broke the curse that makes you safe. This? This is not safe" – "I'm not leaving before we find him" why, why, why? Why me? Why is she so damn stubborn?

"It's a full moon tonight Elena" – "Then we'll find him before then" yeah she's really, not gonna go home, is she?

"Damon, please" oh now she bring out the big guns. Girl knows damn well I can't deny her anything when she says please in that voice with those eyes. So of course she gets her way. She always does. We're going on a rescue mission for someone who doesn't wanna be fucking rescued because of a fucking phone call that probably means nothing. Great plan Elena, great plan. But my love for her wins out. My love for my brother wins out. We may as well give it a damn shot; we've come this far anyway.

"Okay. Okay. But we are outta here before the moons full and I'm werewolf bait" – "I promise" – "Unless you wanna relive that whole deathbed, kiss, thing" – "I said I promise" – "Right" as soon as I mention the kiss I know I shouldn't have done it.

We never talk about it. It's like Pandora's fucking Box and we do not. open it. Only now I've gone and done it and there's no taking it back and magically I can sometimes make it through entire hours without thinking about, without playing it over and over in my mind on repeat, an endless loop of precious seconds, without feeling the phantom weight of her lips pressed against mine. But now I've gone and opened my big mouth and without a doubt I know that those seconds are all I'm gonna be seeing in my mind for the next few hours. Damn impulses.

Now that I'm actually halfway on board with this half-baked plan I actually feel kinda sorry for Elena, we've been walking for what feels like forever through mountainous terrain and she is only human. I offer to help her; "one little whoosh" would get us wherever we're going a whole lot faster but she says I would probably drop her. As if.

What does she even expect us to do with him when we find him anyway? He didn't exactly seem all that enthusiastic about coming home the last time I saw him. Of course that was before the birthday phone call of silence.

"We've got about a mile left" Ric informs us. "The sun's about to set" and it actually is very pretty, if only I had a chance to actually enjoy the beauty of this night. "I can see that Damon" yeah well just a friendly little reminder Elena.

We reach a clearing and...a man? Stumbling through the woods, covered in blood, that...can't be good. Literally has blood coming out of his eyes.

"Vampire" oh shit, yeah, that'd be...me. Elena tenses beside me and then the were-man runs for me, I go for him at the same time and he pushes me into a tree, all gnashing teeth and growling at me. Ric shoots at him with the crossbow which seems to make no difference at all and god I really don't want to be doggy dinner. Elena shouts and throws something at me which explodes in wolf-man's face. Ah Wolfsbane. Thank fuck for that.

"Let me guess, hybrid?" how very observant Ric, and yeah, I guess that means we're getting closer though. We tie up the hybrid man to the tree "these ropes aren't gonna hold him much longer, what else do we have?" – "Ric here take these" I reach out to take whatever it is Elena has and fuck! Vervain. Ooh that stuff burns like a bitch.

"Ow" – "I said Ric" god it hurts though, "we don't have enough stuff to hold him. I don't think we're gonna make that ridge before the full moon" – "if we can get him to talk we don't have to" Elena's getting a little too close to the hybrid man for my liking, even if he is knocked out right now, but I let her do her thing. It was her crazy ass plan after all.

And he's awake. Shit. "Is he turning?" I've only seen it once with Lockwolf but his bones are breaking and it looks the same. "There aren't supposed to be werewolves out here until the moon is full" oh god now she's panicking. Great timing 'Lena.

"These ropes aren't gonna hold a wolf" please people, stop pointing out the obvious. I'm trying to keep my arms, hands, face, hell my everything bite free.

"Damon we've gotta get out of here" what? She said she wanted answers dammit!

"We've gotta get out of these mountains now Damon. Damon now" she pushes me in the back and yeah, okay, let's go. Now. Run.

We're running through the woods when Elena trips and falls. Dammit I knew I should have just picked her the fuck up.

"Don't move" don't move a fucking muscle, don't even breathe. Werewolf. Jesus will she ever listen to me? Gonna have to get this thing away from her now. Right. Now.

"Here doggy, doggy" and I'm gone. Christ I really don't wanna go through that bite shit again. Once was more than enough thank you very much. Only I'm not exactly sure what to do about it. He's just as fast as me and probably fucking stronger and god dammit! He comes up behind me and we're fighting, or...I'm trying to avoid doggy teeth at any rate.

I just need one clean shot. Just one second to rip his heart out. But then he's on me and I can't fucking get it because I have to keep his damn mouth away from me. He's too strong and I swear I'm gonna get another deathbed kiss out of this one.

Or. Not.

Stefan.

Ripped his heart out for me, "fancy meeting you here" thank fuck for my brother. "What part of don't follow me anymore got lost in translation Damon?" um...the part where I translated it to our girl?

"Might wanna take it up with your girlfriend, you don't want her chasing you I'd stop with the late night phone calls" – "I didn't call her" huh you wanna try that again brother? Stefan could not lie to save his life and I hope to holy hell that Klaus doesn't ask him anything about the Sacrifice or Elena because then we're all up fucking shit creek. There's no point denying the truth Stefan, we all know you fucking phoned her.

"Sure you did. She's not gonna give up on you" – "Well she has to, because I'm never coming back. Why don't you get her home? See if you can't keep her there this time" oh Stefan trust me, I'd love to. He has fucking met Elena right? What does he want me to do? Lock her in the damn basement?

But even if I could keep her at home I wouldn't, my brother is on the edge. On a precipice caught between the person he is and the person he hates with no way of reconciling the pieces of himself without help. He needs help and what's more he wants help, even if he won't admit it.

So I get it, I need to protect Elena better and somehow bring my brother back at the same damn time. Whatever happened to an easy life?

Elena is out of the car and calling my name as soon as she hears me approaching "are you okay?" no, not really. Physically, yes. "I'm fine. Bite free, get back in the car" I crash right into her, "can you just give me a minute to appreciate that you're not dead" –"I'll give you 10 seconds, 9, 8" I spin her around and lead her towards the car.

"Damon stop being such a caveman" nope, I wanna get out of these mountains and far, far away from werewolves and brothers that I was dumb enough to give up on and Elena who I'm going to have to give up as well, not that I ever really had her to start with anyway.

But I have to let her know, that I'll help her, that she was right, that we'll bring him home. So I follow them back to the house and go to Elena's room.

"Seriously?" she asks when she comes back and finds me waiting. "I was wrong" – "Are you drunk?" hah "no" not yet anyway. "I thought Stefan was gone but I was wrong" my brother is not gone, well he is, but he's not totally gone, he's not lost to us forever. Thank fuck.

"You saw him out there? Damon is he okay?" not...exactly. "No. He's not okay Elena, he's an insufferable martyr who needs his ass kicked but he can be saved" and you'll be the one to do it, appears that it's in your nature to save us damned.

"What happened out there? What changed your mind?" boy can't let me die that's what changed my mind. "Even in his darkest place my brother still can't let me die. So I figure I owe him the same in return. I'll help you bring him back" actions speak louder than words and it's easy enough to tell me to let him go, but when his actions say otherwise it's not so easy to listen to the words he's saying to me.

"Thank you" yeah well, I'm not just doing it for you. Little asshole's still my little brother and I kinda miss him. And now that I've shared my truth it's time to get some in return.

"But before I do, I need you to answer one question" I walk towards her and she backs up a little but indicates for me to continue.

"What made you change your mind?" – "What do you mean?" – "You were so hell-bent on staying on that mountain, you just gave up so what changed your mind?" – "We were under attack" nope. Wrong answer Elena. Try again.

"You had a bag full of weapons and a teacher with an eternity ring, coulda kept going" – "it was too dangerous" I know I'm pushing her and I won't push too hard but Christ how hard is it to just answer the damn question?

"It was too dangerous going out there to begin with so what was it?" – "Why are you being like this?" because I want you tell me the truth dammit. One more time. "What changed your mind Elena?"

"I didn't wanna see you get hurt okay? I was...I was worried about you" and there is it, the truth.

"Thanks" I go to leave but she starts talking again.

"Yes I worry about you. Why do you even have to hear me say it?" I turn back around to face her, "because when I drag my brother back from the edge and deliver him back to you" I walk closer to her and place my hands on her hair, "I want you to remember the things you felt while he was gone" because this summer has been a complete mind fuck and I want her to remember it.

I need her to remember that she felt things for me as well, that maybe the lines aren't that fucking clear, maybe it's not as black and white as she always thought it was. She's so damned stubborn and more than anything I don't want her to forget, or pretend it never happened, because I never will.

She sucks in her breath and her eyes dart a little wildly before coming to a stop on my lips again, and I know she understand what I'm not saying. What I want. What I can't lose. That I can't lose her.

I drop my forehead to hers for a second and somehow manage to tear my hands away from her hair. "Goodnight Elena" Ric's coming up the stairs as I'm going down and I don't know if he asks her because he's my friend and he knows I can hear or if he forgets that I have super hearing, but he does ask.

"Know what you're doing there?" and I wait. Bated breath and all that.

"No. I don't" and that's good enough for me. For now.

Dear Diary,
Today I convinced Ric to come with me to the Smoky Mountains to track down Stefan and try to bring him home. And then Damon showed up, Ric told him where we were and he threw me in the water! Eventually I convinced Damon to let us search for Stefan although to be honest I don't know what I thought we were going to do when we found him, but we kept going anyway.

And then we came across a hybrid! God I was terrified. I screamed at Damon, telling him that we had to leave and then I fell over and the werewolf was right there, in front of me and Damon ran away to make it follow him and Alaric made me go back to the car, I was so scared.

If anything had happened to Damon, god, it would have been all my fault. And if he'd been bitten again, I can't lose him. I barely handled it the last time let alone now. Some days Damon is the only thing that holds me together.

But then he came back and he was okay, if a little pissed off but that's okay, I understand. It was my fault anyway. When we got back, I went to shower and when I came out Damon was waiting. And he just...wouldn't let it go, he kept demanding answers from me, wanted to know why I was so desperate to get off the damn mountain, I told him it was because we were under attack but he just kept asking me, and I couldn't...I couldn't hold it back anymore so I told him the truth.

Or at least, I told him some of the truth. I told him that I was worried about him. But that's not the whole truth, the whole truth is that I was so damn scared that in that moment nothing else mattered, it didn't matter that we were there for Stefan, I didn't care about anything else apart from getting Damon out of those woods and away from the things that would hurt him.

And then he told me, that he wanted me to remember the things I felt while Stefan was gone and I know he's scared that I'm going to forget, that he's going to lose me. But I would never let that happen, I won't forget. I don't think I could if I tried.

Ric asked me tonight if I know what I'm doing, with Damon, and honestly, I just don't. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't want to...I can't think about it. I can't let myself go there. I won't.

I gave Alaric the Gilbert ring back, I need him, I need his help and support and his friendship, and he needs us too, even if he won't admit it. So I used the ring to show him that I want him to be a part of our family, that I consider him family, that we need him and we love him, and he took it. He came home. At least someone did.
Elena