Disclaimer: I own none of the characters!

Notes: Alternatively titled "The Neighs of Freedom"

The door to the room opened and Eren stood up straight and at attention. Kitts held no tray of food in his hand, not even tea. Eren shuddered, a little worried, but kept his face firm.

"You're up."

"Umm…yeah….I was feeling better…Just stretching."

It had been about three days (almost a full week since he was kidnapped) since Eren decided to actually start eating. He was feeling better; not quite at his usual strength but enough where he could stand up on his own and not feel light-headed.

And if Kitts came any closer…

"I'm going into town," the man said. "And I wanted to inform you."

"Oh…why?"

"I need a few things," Kitts replied. "I won't be gone more than a day."

Eren chewed on his lip. "May I go with you? It's been…so long since I've—"

"No. You're not going anywhere. You'll run away."

Eren had to think fast. Of course he was going to run away. But…

"Then at least let me out of the room?" Eren purred, shrugging shyly. He even batted his eyes. "If I'm going to live here with you, I want to at least know what my new home looks like…"

A look came over Kitts' face. The lines in his face softened and he smiled, walking over to Eren with outstretched arms. Eren forced a smile and let the man hug him, kissing his head.

"Y-You're not…upset with me?" Eren asked, daring to slip his hands around the man's waist. Eren pushed the disgusting thought to the back of his mind, trying to play up his innocence. "I know I was so…hateful…"

Kitts stroked his hair. "I can learn to forgive you, my little Eren. You've been behaving so well lately, it would be wrong of me not to."

"You're too generous…always so giving…"

Bullshit, Eren thought to himself. Keep bullshitting this old bastard a little longer.

"And caring," Eren sighed, kissing the man's throat. "You'll have to return home soon, yes?"

"I'll see what I can do," Kitts replied, still stroking Eren's hair. "You have to stay put though."

"Why would I go anywhere?" Eren asked. "I won't leave the house, I promise. You said yourself that there was some thief and I couldn't imagine getting robbed or worse…And haven't I been a good boy lately? I deserve to see what my home looks like…"

Eren could tell Kitts was considering the proposition.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

A smile came over Eren's face. A real, genuine smile. He nodded happily. "Thank you!"

"But if you're going to watch the house, I think it's time for me to formally make you mine," Kitts said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a ring, a simple gold band, and took Eren's hand. Eren hated the feel of the cool metal against his skin, but he still smiled in mock-surprise.

"F-For me?"

"For you, yes," Kitts said, pulling Eren close. "To mark you as belonging to me."

"It's beautiful. I'm so…grateful for it."

"You're the first," Kitts said. "I knew there was something different about you. Everyone I had previously given rings to all betrayed me. But when I saw you—and I saw how innocent your eyes were—I knew you would be different. Not devious like a woman or that blond boy…"

"I'm honored," Eren lied. "I really am. But let's go. I want to see my home."

Eren took Kitts' hand in his own and the old man led him through the door. Eren quickly took in his surroundings. The hallway was plain; nothing out of the ordinary. He looked around, searching for windows; there were a few but they were all up so high.

Kitts led Eren to the entrance hall and turned to face him.

"I'm entrusting my home to you," Kitts said. "Don't let anyone in. And whatever you do, don't go into the basement. Understand?"

At his words, Kitts glanced over Eren's shoulder, a look of worry on his face.

Eren nodded. "Of course."

Kitts patted him on the head. "That's a good boy."

He released Eren's hands, placing a light kiss to the boy's lips and turned to the door. Eren waited patiently, his hands folded in front of him. Kitts smiled at him as he opened the door. Eren caught a glimpse of the outside world for the first time in days. Literally days. The sun looked warm. The trees were green. There was wind and sky and it was beautiful. Just right out of his reach…

Eren waved to Kitts as the man closed the door. Eren heard it lock and he shuddered. He waited and waited before he turned away. He had to make sure the man wasn't going to walk back in.

He wasn't sure how much time he had, but he knew he had to act fast. He ran back up the stairs and to his dungeon of a room. He grabbed his red cloak and dashed back down the stairs.

He ran up to the door first, pulling and tugging at the handle. It was locked and bolted tight. That was fine; he would find another way out. But every door he tried was heavily locked. Every window was up too high. And every piece of furniture was nailed to the floor. Everything was immovable.

Eren ran back into the entrance hall, breathing hard. If he couldn't find a door out, he was damn sure he was going to kill Kitts the moment he walked through the door.

However…

Eren walked to the middle of the entrance hall, where he had stood as Kitts left. He then switched places, looking into the room as Kitts had done. The moment the man mentioned a basement he had looked over Eren's shoulder. It was too hard to miss. So Eren looked as Kitts had done; and found what he was looking for.

He ran across the room and to the wall, running his hands over the wood and how it was laid. He knocked along the wall until he heard a hollowed sound. He exhaled, closing his eyes and pushing on the invisible door.

It clicked open, to his surprise, and he peered into the dark tunnel. There was a light on the stone wall—something made of magic like Hanji created— and he carefully pulled it out of its holder. He took a cautious step forward and started to walk down the stairs.

He could hear the dripping sound of water against the stone floor. It was cold and drafty; he was sure there had to be a door leading outside somewhere. But the farther down he walked, the more an awful stench started to overtake his senses.

He covered his nose and kept his mouth closed at the smell. His eyes even started to water after a while.

He saw a hint of silvery metal and saw an axe propped against the wall. He sighed, relieved. Finally a weapon he could use. He picked it up and saw all the red on the handle. The red on the floor, and the red trail leading deeper into the stone room.

There were no doors leading outside. Only hooks that hung from the ceiling. And pieces of bodies hanging from the hooks. Bodies that were still bleeding out and fresh. Bodies that had had time to decompose and decay, covered in maggots. The bodies of women; the "devious" women who had tried to escape before him.

And in a corner was a pile of fingers that had been cut off. Fingers bearing the same golden wedding band Eren was still wearing. He gripped the axe tighter and turned, hurrying up the stairs. He threw the candle aside as he came out of the basement and had every intention of chopping down the front door, or hell even a wall if had to, to get out before Kitts came back.

A collision with a hard body stopped him.

Eren stumbled and fell, the man in front of him falling with him. Eren hit his head on the floor and looked up, dazed. He saw a glimpse of a green hood and the man above him rubbing his own head too.

"Fuck…," Eren muttered.

"What the hell?"

Eren's eyes widened at the voice. It couldn't be…

He reached up and pulled the hood away from the man's face, meeting a pair of familiar amber eyes, blonde hair and an unmistakable horse-face.

"Jean!"

"Eren?!"

He wanted to cry. He really wanted to cry. He threw his arms around Jean's neck, hugging him tight. He was the first person for Eren to see in days. He was from Eren's hometown. He was a childhood friend. A familiar face in that awful, disgusting dungeon.

Jean pressed a hand to Eren's back, hugging him in return. The feeling was comforting in those few seconds. Especially after seeing that basement…

"We have to go," Eren muttered. "Jean, we have to leave right now. How did you get in?"

"Fuck, Eren, your heart is going crazy," Jean laughed, pressing his hand to Eren's chest. He smiled and Eren wanted to desperately cry because it was a kind smile, not one hiding anything evil behind it. "Why are you so—"

"How the fuck did you get in here Jean?"

"Eren, why does—"

"Jean, tell me. Please. We have to go. We have to leave."

Jean inhaled deep, sitting back and putting his hands on his hips. Eren sat up, clutching Jean's shirt with trembling fingers. Jean shook his head, taking Eren's hands in his own.

"I came in through the window," Jean said. "Wasn't expecting them to be so far up off the ground."

"We have to go, Jean. Right now."

"Alright, we can. But fuck, Eren, why are you so desperate to get out? Don't you know that the man who lives here is loaded? He supposedly has a room filled with gold thread, spun by some witch—"

"And a fucking basement full of women he's killed. Let's go."

"What the fuck, seriously?!"

In their brief silence, the front door opened and closed. Eren's stomach dropped and he flinched, clutching Jean's shirt tighter. He looked around and into the hollow face of Kitts Verman.

"What the hell is this?"

"I…I…," Eren muttered, dropping his hands from Jean's shirt. He pulled at his friend's hand, where Kitts couldn't see, and lead it to the axe at their sides. "He came in here and I tried to stop him."

"Why is my basement open?" There was nothing but threats in Kitts' voice. And Eren knew that threat included him ending up on a meat hook.

"I was stopping him," Eren continued, his hand still on Jean's; still shaking. As he let go, he felt Jean's hand clasp around the axe.

"What the fuck?" Jean whispered.

"He…He just opened the door," Eren said, slipping away from Jean's weight. "T-That's all…"

"Is that so?" Kitts asked, walking over. Eren grew rigid. Jean, however, hissed between his teeth. Kitts' eyes were locked on Jean and Eren knew if he saw that axe…

Eren jumped to his feet, running up to Kitts and standing between him and Jean. He smiled, his sweet, fake smile, and tugged on the man's arms.

"Can't you deal with this thief later?" Eren purred, tugging on Kitts' arm to get him to turn around. "I've missed you…And he's basically unarmed…he's harmless."

Eren saw the look of confusion on Jean's face. But the more he spoke, the more Jean's face softened and the tighter his hand became around the axe. Eren silently prayed that Jean wouldn't miss.

But then Kitts reached into his coat and Eren saw the glint of something metal and heavy. His eyes widened at the sight of the gun.

"Do you think I'm really that stupid, Eren?" Kitts sighed, raising his arm in Jean's direction. Eren lunged and Kitts fired.

The two of them toppled to the floor, in a mess of limbs. Jean dropped the axe as he held onto his bleeding hand. But the man was still down and Eren wasn't going to let this chance pass.

He reached for the gun but he suddenly choked as his cloak was tugged and pulled. Eren was jerked away from the gun as Kitts threw him onto his back, lunging for the gun himself. Eren jumped back up, grabbing in the opposite direction. Kitts still had a good grip on his cloak, not letting him escape.

Eren pulled on the clasp, falling forward and grabbing the axe. Without so much as a warning glance, Eren swung the axe and heard the squelch of flesh. He heard the awful gurgles of blood and he got to his feet. He grabbed Jean by his good hand and pulled him.

"We have to go," Eren shouted and started to run.

He glanced down at Kitts. The man was still alive, still struggling and fumbling with his gun. The axe was lodged between his arm and chest. He would die, Eren told himself, he would bleed out he would have to. He couldn't wait around any longer. The man had a gun and Eren knew that gun was dangerous.

Eren and Jean ran to the opened door and out into the sunlight. But they didn't stop. They continued to run until they were off the property. Until they were deeper into the forest.

Freedom never tasted so sweet.

Eren and Jean rested against blooming trees, watching a running stream in front of them. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them looked at the other. They watched the water trickle over smooth stones. They listened to the chirping birds and rustling leaves around them. They let their hearts slow and their thoughts catch up with them.

Eren inhaled, closing his eyes. His heart was still racing. His mind was still blurry. But he was so happy. He felt so free. He smiled, leaning his head back.

"Fuck…"

Eren looked over at Jean as he tried to dress his own wound. Eren crawled over to him.

"Let me see it."

"I can do it."

"You're going to bleed to death," Eren exaggerated, taking the shredded piece of material Jean had. "At least let me tie it. You know my dad was a doctor."

Jean rolled his eyes, relaxing his hand in Eren's lap. "Yeah, you have a point."

Eren laughed, carefully wrapping the tourniquet around Jean's bloody hand. It was only a temporary solution; they would still need to get into town—somewhere—to better treat it.

Jean rested his head against Eren's, sighing and watching his friend work.

"I never thought I'd run in to you again," Jean breathed.

"Especially there of all places," Eren replied softly. "Why were you there, again? What were you doing? And why is your lame-ass in a green…are you the thief?!"

Jean groaned and sat back against the tree, rolling his eyes.

"Some shit happened after you left."

"And you became a thief?! A successful thief? Does your mom know?"

"Hell no she doesn't know! Alright, I went out to find work in Trost and I failed because the guy I was working for turned out to be a good-for-nothing, tax-collecting jackass. He would overcharge people on their taxes and it didn't sit well with me." Jean paused, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. "So I stole some gold from him. A few times. And…I just sort of shared it with the other workers who were done wrong. And hell they saw me as this hero because I was standing up to this thieving jackass."

"So you stole from a thief to prove a point?"

"Yes."

"Only you," Eren laughed. "So why were you there? At that house?"

Jean sat up straight. "Well, I heard a rumor of this nobleman who lived out in the woods. He supposedly has a room filled with spun gold. Like…spun thread but it's pure gold. I had been trying to track him for a while. I would sort of...trail other nobles to see where they were going."

"Did you ever rob any of them?"

"Just the ones who would brag about how they underpaid their workers," Jean huffed. "Anyway, I was out scouting and I saw him and his house appear out of nowhere. He then put some cloaking spell on the house but I could still tell where it was. I got through the barrier and came in through one of the windows. Well…fell in. And I found you instead of the gold. Can't say I'm completely pleased."

Eren slapped his hand and Jean screeched in pain.

"You saved my life."

"Why were you there?"

"Kidnapped."

"He kidnapped you?"

"Yeah…"

"Guess that makes you a damsel in distress," Jean teased. "And I'm your dashing hero. You should kiss me as my reward."

Eren slapped Jean's hand again and he fell over in pain.

"Not a chance, green hood."

"It's fucking robin hood, you damsel."

Thankfully, the horse-faced thief was familiar enough with the forest to get back to Stohess. Eren was tired and hungry but he was happy. Genuinely happy.

"How's everyone back home?" Eren asked as they walked. Jean scrunched his nose.

"The last time I saw them, everyone was fine. Mikasa and Ymir moved to Trost, in Rose, a little before I did. They had plans to join the army."

Eren laughed. "Only Mikasa would. And Armin…?"

"He picked up a magic book from a witch Reiner knows. I left before he started learning how to cast spells though."

Eren sighed in relief and smiled. He felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. A little bit of the worry that had been smothering him faded.

"And mom?"

"She's doing great," Jean said with a gentle smile. "She's not sick anymore. And Hannes would go by a lot to help her out too."

"I'm really glad." Eren rubbed his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. "I'm really happy she's alright, Jean. I'm so happy. And I'm so happy you're here, too."

"You must be having a shitty week to be happy to see me."

"I am. I really am. I just…I want to go home and see—I just want to go home."

"See who?" Jean asked. "Finally get yourself a lady friend?"

"No," Eren hummed back. "More of…a prince friend."

"High standards."

"You don't stand a chance," Eren grinned. "But it's more than that. Have you ever kissed someone and felt…that spark?"

"A spark?"

"Mhm. It's really hard to miss. Someone told me that when you feel it, you'll know. It's a special kiss shared between two people who are meant to be together."

"That's strangely romantic," Jean said. "Does that mean you fucked him?"

"Don't say it so bluntly!" Eren spat.

"That's a yes. Hang on…when you say prince, you don't mean the guy who bought you, do you?"

"Stop making this sound like a scandal."

"I'm going to tell your mother you fucked your slave owner when I see her."

"What? That my true love is a wealthy prince? You do that. I'm telling your mom you're thief."

Jean shoved Eren away. Eren quickly bounced back into him, knocking Jean off balance a little. The two of them glared at each other when they heard the loud booming of a canon.

They looked away from each other and to the visible buildings in Stohess, smoke starting to rise. Eren took off running first and Jean followed close behind. They heard another two canons and the sound of people screaming as they ran.

Stohess was in disarray. Buildings were on fire. Statues were being pulled down. People were running and shouting, hiding and taking cover. All because of the wild, rowdy pirates dashing around, shooting out windows and looting buildings.

"This is fucking ridiculous," Eren breathed.

"No shit…," Jean replied.

"LEVI!"

Eren started to run again. Jean groaned, watching him, before sprinting after him. Eren paid him no attention. He just had to get to the hotel. He had to find Levi. Maybe even Hanji. But Levi—

The hotel was ablaze. Eren stared up at it as it burned. The glass in the windows were shattered. Flames licked at the walls. No one was inside, Eren told himself, no one was still in there.

Jean grabbed Eren by the arm and jerked him from the burning inn as pieces of wood crashed to the road.

"Snap out of it!" Jean shouted, slapping Eren across the face to get his attention. "He's safe. If he's half as smart as you, then even he has enough sense to get the hell out of here. We should do the same too. Or at least go hide."

Eren nodded. He made himself nod and let Jean take him by the hand, guiding him away. But everywhere they ran there was fire. And where there wasn't fire, there was a pirate setting it on fire. The heat and smoke was getting to them, and fast.

"The forest is too far," Eren cried, "and the fucking ocean is fucking occupied by pirates, Jean."

"We're going to the forest," Jean spat, shaking Eren by the shoulders. "Get your shit together."

"Alright," Eren nodded. "Alright, let's—"

A bottle crashed over Jean's head, glass falling onto Eren as he caught his comatose friend. A pirate laughed, trying to grab Jean from Eren's hands.

"Back the fuck off!" Eren yelled.

Hands found him as well and started to pull at his shoulders. Eren swung his fists, fighting back as much as he could. But he was overpowered within seconds. A bag was thrown over his head as he was lifted off his feet, arms tied together.

It wasn't possible.

The bag didn't come off Eren's head until he was thrown onto his rear in a dank, dingy cell. He looked around the dark cell; wooded walls behind him, big iron bars in front of him. Through the window hole he could see the splashing waves of the ocean. Some of the water had even leaked into the floor of the ship.

The ship.

Eren was in a ship. And there was a pirate standing in front of him locking the cell door. Eren hissed and looked to his side, watching Jean finally come to. Jean rubbed his head, looking miserable and soggy.

"What the hell…? Where are we?!"

"We're in a fucking pirate ship," Eren sighed. "We've been kidnapped."

"WHAT?!" Jean turned to the cell bars and grabbed at the pirate. "You can't kidnap us! You can't kidnap me! Do you know who I am!? I'm the hooded thief! I demand that you release me!"

The pirate chuckled, swinging the keys around his fingers. "Ya gonna hafta take that up wit' tha capt'in, ol' green hooded thief. But until yer called, welcome 'board the Jolly Roger."

Eren and Jean watched in silence as the pirate pranced away, whistling as he swung his jingling keys around.

"This can't be happening," Jean whined. "I can't get kidnapped. I can't!"

"Oh shut the fuck up, Jean," Eren groaned, falling back against the cell bars. "This is the second time I've been kidnapped this week, you should not be complaining."

"SHUT UP JAEGER I'M BEING KIDNAPPED."

"Welcome to my world of being a damsel in distress."

Notes: I'm not sure if Robin Hood is a fairytale but I just really needed good guy!Jean because I can. This chapter was also originally meant to be two bits. Just...inside info for you. This also marks the end of Bluebeard and the age of pirates! *eyebrow waggles* Guess who's going to chase the booty. Yep, I'm making booty jokes. This also means next chapter is a mini-chapter and it's about everyone's favorite petite blond boy...