I ran out of bed as soon as my mother said I got a letter in the mail from the university of Philadelphia. I took quick steps until I reached the living room. I looked at the letter that would decide how the rest of my year and more would look like. I grabbed it from my mothers hands and we both just looked at it. She nudged me and gave me a comforting smile. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was so nervous to open envelope. I was nervous I would read something that would make me upset. Finally, I opened it up and me and my mother - my father was at work, were eagerly reading it together. My eyes scanned every word carefully. When I was done with the letter, me and my mother looked at each other, I dropped the letter and jumped up in happiness. She hugged me and congratulated me. I was so happy, I was extremely happy. They welcomed me there on September the 8th. I was going back to school after the summer and for once I was happy about going to school. I was relieved. After me and my mother shared a happy moment I told her I was going to call Quinn and see if she had gotten hers yet. I walked to my room and called her up.

"Quinn? Quinn I got into Philadelphia!"

"W-what? Really?" her voice was still tired. I figured my phone call woke her up. "I'm so happy, Santana. Congrats" she sounded really happy.

"I'm really excited. Can't you go check if you've gotten yours yet?"

She was quiet for some long seconds.

"Can't I do that later? I kind of want to fall back to sleep" she yawned. "What is it, like nine in the morning?"

"Quinn, it's twelve!" I sounded annoyed but there was still a laugh in my voice. "Please, pretty please can you just check?"

"Fine," she sighed "I'll be right back"

Around four minutes passed until Quinn came back. I patiently just stood in my room, fighting not to chew my nails because I was so nervous. Quinn and I had applied to the University of Philadelphia together. Our goal was that both of us got in.

"Santana, are you there?" she said.

"Yes?" I eagerly said.

"Santana..."

My heart sunk at her voice.

"Did you not get in..?" I wondered.

She let out a loud sigh. Right after it came a giggle. After that I could imagine her smiling.

"No, I got in" she said. "I got in!"

"Are you serious?" I said, nearly whispered.

"Yes! Santana, we're going to the same college, just like we wished" she sounded so happy - so did I. It felt like everything was going to be perfect after that moment.

"You have no idea how happy I am, you can't even imagine" I said as I sat down on my bed.

"I do know. I'm as happy as you are"

"I'm sorry I woke you up" I laughed. "I just wanted to know"

"It was worth it, I can't stop smiling" she responded. "We need to celebrate this. What are you doing later?" she asked.

"I have no plans"

"I'll pick you up around nine and we'll do something, I'll figure it out. Okay?" she said.

"Okay, see you then"

"I love you" she said before hanging up.

"And I love you"

****************'

She parked the car outside her a park I hadn't seen before. It was very hidden and different from the usual park. I took my jacket off and she put a blanket on the grass that we could sit on. What surrounded us was a lot of tiny bushes, one of them was larger than the others. A half grown tree, some large rocks and a view of a little puddle. I had no idea what this place was but it was beyond beautiful. We sat down on the blanket and she took her bag and put it in front of her legs.

"What do you got in there?"

"You'll see"

She took out sandwiches, glasses and soda. I looked up at her and she had this proud face on her lips. Before putting the bag behind her, she took out one last thing. That little bag I despised.

"Quinn," I sighed "please?"

"Santana come on, just try once. Only once and if you don't like it I swear I will stop as well. I just don't get how you can hate it before trying" she laughed.

"I hate it before trying it because it's a drug, it can kill you if you get addicted. It's dangerous, it ruins people's lives. Why can't you see that? It's stupid of you to even want me to try" I said. Her ignorance was beyond annoying and I didn't know how else to react then lashing out on her.

"Don't get addicted then, I won't let you"

"Yeah right, like you have control over yourself.." I snorted.

"San, please"

She had never called me San ever. It was new and it gave me butterflies. My first nickname from Quinn.

"No, let's just eat these sandwiches and be happy we got into the same school" my whole mood was ruined.

She schooched in closer to me and laid her hand on my thigh. Her eyes were no more than some inches away from my face and I felt my body produce more sweat-drops and my emotions gather all emotions around and have them attack the core of my stomach. That was what happened every time Quinn was near me. It didn't matter what the situation was, it could be because she was reaching over for her phone, it could be that she was leaning in for a kiss or just like she was doing, looking into my eyes. The shoulder long blonde hair was put behind her ear and the cold hand brushed against my cheek. Even though I didn't like to admit it; she knew how to manipulate me.

"I want to get high with you" a soft voice left her mouth. "That's all I want right now" she said.

Something about the way Quinn said it, the way she approached me about it made it sound like it was something good she was talking me into doing. I shook the feeling off and her away from me and backed away so I almost sat on the grass. I felt so pressured it was hard for me to be near her and control myself at the same time.

"Quinn, I can't. Please stop" I mumbled.

"God Santana, you're such a bore sometimes"

"You fell in love with a good girl, that's not my problem"

"A good girl?," Quinn smirked "all good girls are bad, they just haven't been caught yet and I'll catch you right when you think you're at your best"

"What does that even mean?" I laughed.

"It means I know you're not as good as you wish you were. I know you want to do all of this, with me. You're just so scared"

I looked away from her.

"You don't have to be scared, San. I'm here, if something happens I know every trick to save you.. Please?"

"Why is it so important that I do it too? Is it because you feel bad about being the only one of us who does it?"

"No, it's because just like I said before," she leaned her head closer to mine again "I want to get high with you, now"

Her hand pushed against my chest and the smile on her face told that she felt the nervous heartbeat. She backed off and took out the bag again, she took out a small square shaped metal thing to prepare her lines on. She used a credit card she had in her wallet to smash the cocaine a bit more. The lines were formed and she took out two straws. She threw one at me.

"Just in case you change your mind" she smirked.

I watched Quinn snort in the coke and it looked like she enjoyed it. I took the straw between my fingers and looked down at it. There were four lines in front of her, I figured she had prepared two for her and two for me. I pushed myself closer to her to get a better look on how she was doing it. I watched her hardly snort in the second line and tilt her head back with her eyes closed and a unclear smile was glued on her face.

"Do I just snort it in like I'm smelling something?" she quickly turned her head at me. She nodded. "Alright"

I looked down at it and then back at Quinn. I placed the straw at the start of the line and began to chase it down as I snorted in the poison. I quickly felt a weird feeling in my nose and it felt blocked.

"That wasn't fun at all, Quinn. Are you happy now?" I said.

"The first one always sucks, you need to get used to it. Do another one"

I did as she said and this time, snorted harder in order to unblock my nose as well. However, it didn't really work, the new line blocked it again. Still, Quinn was right, the second line was bad, just not as bad as the first one.

"Are you happy now?"

"Very" she said with a triumphant smile on her lips.

We started eating the sandwiches Quinn had made and she ate like half of hers and then left it. I finished one and even ate the half of a second sandwich before feeling full. It wasn't something that couldn't be noticed - all the weight Quinn lost. I knew what it was from but I just didn't feel like talking to her about it. After we had been sitting for a while, I started feeling like I wanted to do everything. I felt like someone injected energy into my body and I just felt like I wanted to talk about everything and get into the car and drive away to God knows where. I took Quinn's hand and made her stand up with me.

"What now?" she laughed. "Are we going to hike?" she added.

"Let's get away from here, I want us to drive somewhere.. Let's go to Philadelphia, we can look at what the new school looks like" I felt like I was talking faster than usual.

"Santana, it's 10pm, what are you planning to do looking at the new school?" it looked like she was holding in a laugh.

"I don't know, let's do something"

"You're very cute, Santana. Calm down" this time she laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You're high" she laughed even harder.

"What? I'm not high! I'm always like this" I felt irritated.

"No, Santana. You're high" she walked over and stood right by the little puddle.

I walked up behind her and pushed her so her shoes were covered by the water. She looked at me, her eyes widened, her mouth opened and her eyebrows furrowed. She looked like a lion before it attacks it's victim.

"Oops.." I let out and started running in advance.

"You start running, that's a good choice!" she called and hurried after me.

I was running until I reached the parking lot with all the cars. There were around twenty cars parked and it was just a bit away from where Quinn had taken me. I decided to hide behind one of the cars. It was a silver car parked just three cars away from Quinn's car. After two minutes or so, she showed up. She had the bagckpack on her and she was sneaking, looking for me.

"Come out Santana, I know you're here" she called and let out a silent laugh, more like a giggle.

I fought hard not to laugh as her steps came closer to me. She walked over to her car and stood there. I did my best not to move at all. When she opened the car to put the bag in, I took fast steps and hid behind the car right beside hers. She didn't notice it. She got out of the car again and closed the door and began looking around with her head, without moving one inch away from where she was standing. She took out her phone and I supposed she was going to call me. I took more steps closer to her car and this time I hid right behind her car, by the trunk. She heard something moving so she put the phone down in her pocket and just stood there. I counted to three and jumped up from behind her, making her jump up in fear.

"You idiot!" she yelled with laughter in her voice.

"I'm not an idiot, I'm sneaky and smart" I proudly said.

"Now, your punishment for this" she pointed down at her shoes. She pushed me against the car and roughly pressed herself tightly against me. Her pupils were dilated and her smile was what evil looks like. In a good way. Her hand brushed against my neck and her hand was around my throat. As if she was going to strangle me to death. The only difference was that it only looked like she was, her hand wasn't pressing hard on my throat. She took her other hand and put it under my chin, pushing on it to make me look up a little. After one more hard stare, a bit harder - not painful - squeeze around my throat, she punished me. And it was bad. It wasn't nearly as good as it was painful. The feeling of wanting someone so badly, feeling it in every edge and every organism of your body - then not getting them in the only way you can think of at the moment - that is pain on another level. Her hand left my throat and fell down to right over my belt. She with one hand took the belt of and unbuttoned my pants - still kissing me. Before she did what I that moment yearned for, even if we were in public, damn it it turned me on even more. She stopped and looked at her watch. "We better get going"

"What? No" I said, pulling her back by the collar of her shirt. "We're not done" I leaned in for another kiss.

"Oh yes, we are" she smiled.

"But.."

"I guess you shouldn't have pushed me into the puddle" her smile was so proud I couldn't help but getting heated up and wanting to punch her right on the head.

"Whatever you say" I said and walked into the car with her. I put my belt back on and buttoned my pants.

When I got home, the house was empty. I figured my parents were at my grandmothers place. As always, I walked into my room and undressed, got into more comfortable clothes and turned the TV on. No matter how much I tried and fought to keep the thought away - I couldn't. I had broken my biggest promise; never do drugs. I caved in and did what Quinn had tried to convince me to do all along. I couldn't really believe it myself. The worst thing about it all though was that I didn't feel bad about it at all. I really didn't. I thought I would, but maybe the fact that it made Quinn so happy and excited made me once again put a filter over the dangerous thing I had done. I knew of course that it wasn't good at all, but it gave us a whole new excitement that we could enjoy together.. Only us. It got so playful and it felt very new. Me and Quinn, we never had that "new relationship" phase. Maybe it was because before we somehow fell in love, we hated each other, or I at least know I hated her. However, when we both fell and got into the relationship we were in, it felt like we had been in one all along. A messy and rough one, but still.
Nevertheless, by every single day that passed Quinn became more and more important to me. She became everything I saw and everything I wanted. Nothing else really mattered; no other person could matter after all Quinn had done. And, of course, all the things she made me do.

The next day was a bit rainy, much like stay inside and cuddle weather. I had just parked outside Quinn's house when the rain started pouring like crazy. I knocked on the door and she opened with a big smile on her lips. The house smelled just like it always did - it was like too much potpourri and vanilla. It was strong but I never minded really. I took my jacket off and hung it by the door. She walked right to the room across hers, she called it her own TV room. She didn't have one in her own. I always told her to just move it to her own room and have it there but she didn't listen to me so I let it go. We sat on the couch and talked for hours about college and how happy we were. We watched another of Quinn's creepy movies, I sat cuddled up into her arms with my hand on her chest the entire time. Some moments I would close my eyes and just wish that forever could be that way - that I would never have to get up and do anything else - that I could stay in her arms and listen to her heartbeat forever and ever. When the movie was over she went up and told me she would be right back. I knew what she was going to do, I had seen the straws and stuff in the room earlier, she had already prepared it before I got there. I sat up straight, disappointed about the fact that she didn't stay and hold me for a while longer. She came back with the bag and smiled at me. I didn't even care anymore. I did it once already so I thought that if I just did it this one time with her once again, it wouldn't hurt. It couldn't hurt me at all. She prepared the lines after seeing that I had agreed to do it again. During the whole time she looked so happy it made me feel sad inside - she didn't look that happy when she saw me, she didn't look that happy when I was cuddled up into her arms. She only looked that happy when she saw the drug. Little did she know that for me, she was the drug. For me, that smile on her lips the moment before snorting the cocaine, it was how I felt when I saw her. I can't lie, it sometimes did feel like I loved Quinn much more than she loved me. It was like I was obsessed with her in another way. The lines were prepared and she handed me one of the straws. I took it in my hands and like the day before, chased it to the end in one snort. I right after the first did another line with no hesitation. Somewhat I wanted to impress Quinn. I wanted her to look at me like she was amazed, just like she did with the drug. I watched Quinn do the same thing as I again after my second line snorted in a third one. Quinn had two left for herself. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. I didn't realize then that I had just become like the friends of hers I used to mock, I became what I disliked the most. Also, the fact that I without fighting it took the straw and just went in terrified me.

After we were done, Quinn cleaned up the little mess and came back next to me. Again, her eyes had that look they always got when she was getting high. And I bet mine looked that way too. Only that her eyes were brighter than mine so the pupil was easier to see. I took Quinn's hand and looked at it. I gave her little kiss on it that made her chuckle.

"Why am I so turned on right now?" I asked, giving her yet another kiss.

"You're high" she said, thinking that it would irritate me.

"I really, really am" I said. I pushed her back so she was laying on her back on the couch.

"You know," she smiled "you're still under punishment for what you did yesterday"

"What?" I said. "Quinn! It was a joke"

"And I like to joke, a lot" her smile and her attitude were making the situation worse.

"Come on, Quinn.. I know you want it too" I kissed her gently on the collarbone up to her throat, leaving a visible hickey.

"I do, but I want to tease you more.. For now, that's funnier" she laughed.

"You're such a dork" I said and jumped up from her.

"I'll get you when you least notice it" she placed her lips on the back of my neck. "You'll see"

Time passed and the excitement sunk as our moods did. We were once again cuddled up in each other and the whole feeling of happiness was changed. It was happy, but the sad kind of happy. I knew that I soon had to go home, which I didn't want to. It was thirty minutes away from midnight. I was expecting a call from my mother any moment.

"I hate that I have to go" I said as her hand kept brushing through my hair.

"Then don't" she answered. "Sleep here tonight"

"I don't know.."

"Why not?"

"I feel like I need to be home.. My mother is so sad these days, Quinn. My grandma is getting worse everyday"

"Oh, I understand. It's fine" her hold of me tightened.

"I just wish there was a way that we could be together all the time" I said again.

"Move in with me" she said.

"What?" I was shocked.

"Yeah," she smiled "I mean, not now of course" she laughed. "When we start college, we can live together in a apartment in Philly, just you and me. Somewhere close to school"

My heart filled with a million different types of butterflies, all good ones.

"That's big.. Living together, are you sure we're ready for that?" I asked.

"Of course we are, I mean, we're young and all. But Santana, you're the only one for me. I would never in my life want to give you up" her smile vanished, a more serious, deep look took over. "Every moment that I'm not with you, I think of you. Whenever you're at home I always just think of coming over to you, even if it means I'll only stay for a couple of minutes because it's three in the morning, even if it means I'll have to wake you up just because I want to see your face one last time before I go to sleep"

"Really?" my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest and my whole being was just nervous.

"Yes.. I love you so damn much, I love you" she looked right into me.

"I-I love you too" I took her hand. "Let's do it, I'm in"

"You are?" her smile returned.

"I'm serious"

"So we're officially moving in together in September?"

"We are" I giggled. "We're moving in together after September, future roomie" I smiled.

So you can say a lot happened in this chapter. Both good and bad things! Hope you enjoyed. Review!