A/N: Long time, no see. Cont'd on my authors note at the bottom.
Chapter 5
He meets her mysterious brown eyes and questions her when she says, "Come find me."
He furrows his eyebrows at the words spoken. He knows it would be impossible, but he did find her once, didn't he?
"You could be anywhere," he replies, voice low.
She slowly backs away from him when she speaks, "start with home," she turns her back fully and continues walking.
"Here is your Margarita, shaken not stirred, sir," the bartender says as he slides the drink over to Tony which so happens to break his trance.
"Sorry. Thanks," he replies as he fishes money from his side pocket. When he finds the right amount, he hands it over to the dirty blond haired bartender.
He supposes it is his last day in Berlin anyway, aside from staying in all day watching television yesterday and seeing land marks and visiting bars today. Tomorrow he'll check out and head somewhere, anywhere - wherever home is.
As he finishes his drink, he crosses past the dance floor and accidentally runs into a woman who is wearing a dazzling dark navy blue sleeveless dress that cuts off by her knees diagonally. A gold object suddenly falls onto the floor. A necklace. When Tony bends down to pick it up, he cannot help but notice the object and what it represents. The star of David. His eyes snap up anxiously to meet the young woman's and hands her the necklace cautiously. He can feel his pulse starting to increase rapidly.
He needs to get out of this place. He needs some air.
Somehow, he feet manages to make its way to a small local church. When he enters, his breathing returns to normal. He relaxes. Finding an empty pew near the altar, he begins to kneel and do something he hasn't done for a while. He closes his eyes, clasps his hands together and begins to pray.
God, if you're listening, I just don't know how I could keep doing this. Normally I don't believe in coincidences, but how can I not after this week? Sure, this is what I want to do - I know this is what I want to do, but when will these dreams end? When will I find myself? How will I find myself? Give me the strength to keep going. Show me a sign, show me anything. Please.
Tony stays in that position for what seems like hours. The people around him, mostly the elderly and the occasional young adults are all spread out around the pews. Many of them give Tony looks of pity, which he could feel burning holes into his back.
When he feels like God is hearing his prayers, he retreats to the outside of the church to explore the city some more.
What could she mean 'start with home'? Go back to the United States? Or maybe home could mean Israel, because that was where she was born after all. Israel, where memories lay discarded. Israel, the place where she was taught from a young age that emotions are a weakness. But when they met, she was taught wrong. Emotions are a sign of being human to which that is all she is. She never realized that because of him, he taught her how to feel again. To love again.
Tony rubs the back of his nap and soon finds himself outside of his hotel. His time in Berlin seems to be over as of tomorrow.
He winds up walking on a familiar path leading to the lot. Tony approaches the house carefully. He takes in the way the house itself has come to life ever since she took hold of it. The blooming yellow flowers in front of the windows, in front of the fence.
When he makes his way to the front door, he surpasses a shallow yet uncertain breath that lingers longer than it should. He exhales and brings his fist forward - knocking on the wooden door.
One knock, two knocks, then three knocks. No answer. He shuffles to the window on the right of his and sees no one inside. Tony takes hold of the door nob and carefully twists it until the door is wide open.
The living room itself looks long abandoned. The table in front of the couches is coated in dust, the floor a little dirty. Everything seems as if it had not been touched within two weeks. If he is not mistaken, it seems as if no one has been living here. It seems as if no one has been living here for a while.
Tony walks further into the house and finds another open doorway. The last time he was here, she would not let him explore the house but now he could willingly. He enters the room and his heart aches a little. He thinks it is her bedroom she used as a child.
The room is laced with faded purple. In the middle, a twin sized bed is neatly made. At first glance, it does not like a child's bedroom. But as he looks closely, he knows it is her bedroom. For a child's room, it shows no sign of happiness. It reminds him more of like a military room. Everything plain and lifeless. No toys, no stuffed animals. Most children would have at least one for a keepsake. Most children would have kept them and guarded them with their life.
Tony sits on her bed and relishes the quietness. He feels wrong for looking through her things, but he can't help but ponder with curiosity. Her past is a welcoming mystery.
Next, after walking to what he thinks is Ari's old bedroom, he sticks his head through the open door. As he walks into the room, he can hear the floorboards beneath him creek with every step.
Similar to Ziva's, inside the room consists of a neatly pressed bed in the middle, but what's different is that it seems like a dark presence is lurking within the room. The windows, show no sign of light - shades that have been drawn for years caked with layers of dust.
He parts his fingers through the gray shades, hearing a clank noise as he takes sight of what is outside of the room. The place where long memories have come to rest, the place where he told her he was fighting for her.
Tony decides that today is not the right time to visit the orchard because he feels as if he is not ready. He feels as if what took place in that orchards was to keep between them - an act of love expressed through a respectful silence.
Retreating to the living room, he sits down. After minutes of taking in all he seen today, a thought of actually calling her comes to mind. He stirs slightly, only to look for his forgotten cell-phone.
An illuminated glow from the screen of the device makes his eyes squint until they become adjusted. When he scrolls down his contact list, he stops at her name and obliges to click it.
He puts his phone to his ear and waits as the ringing continually begins.
When her voice mail fills his ears, he releases a breath he didn't know he was holding.
He attempts to call her again. When she did not pick up, he releases another breath and his throat tightens.
Where are you, Ziva? Where could you possibly be?
What he did when on for hours - calling her and expecting an answer. He began to get restless and hopeless. By then it was 2200 hours.
He tries to call her one last time for the day before he would end up falling asleep on the brown couch in the middle of the room. To him, it feels right to stay at least one night in this place, the place where she was born. Although, it would feel better if he spent it with her.
Expecting her voice mail, a noise that caught him in surprise fills the void.
Static. It did not necessarily mean she answered but what other possibility is there?
"Hello?" Tony says, "Ziva?"
A/N: I hope ya'll liked the chapter. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you guys to cherish your life and everyone in it. A boy who went to my school, who was my age, suddenly passed away last Tuesday. His name is Kevin Siddall. He was fighting for his life for about six months with cancer. He was an inspiration to everyone - hell, even John Green tweeted about him. He was a good soul. So like he said, "your life could drastically change in a matter of seconds. Appreciate each moment, and live life to its fullest."
Rest in Peace, Kevin.
~edancel x