Ugh.
My vision is blurred as I stare up at the ceiling. I can't hear the raindrops on the roof anymore. The storm must be over after all the hell it caused. I drape a hand over my face and close my eyes again. All I want to do is sleep. If I stay asleep long enough, maybe I'll wake up and the Trials will be over.
" Louisa? " It's Newt. I can feel his hand in mine and I can't help but smile a little bit. My low energy only allows for a small twitch of my lips, but it's still something.
I move my arm and open my eyes. He's looking down at me while rubbing his thumb across my hand.
" Hi. " The word comes out small and weak, like it's nothing more than a harsh whisper. " How long was I out for? "
" Thirty minutes or so. " Newt says, frowning down at me. " Are you sure you're okay? "
I nod. " I'm fine. "
I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't believe me. I don't blame him. I probably look like I"ve been through hell and back. Pale face, hollowed out cheeks, dried blood making my shirt cling to my back. I feel like I've been through hell. Some food and water would be nice, but I don't know if I'd be able to keep it in my system long enough for it to do any good.
I hear footsteps and some of the Familiars shuffle around, looking towards the far side of the room. Newt turns his body so that I'm looking at his back but he doesn't let go of my hand.
" All right, everybody listen! " Jorge says and I finally make myself look around the room. There are Cranks. Everywhere. " Me and the bird-face here have come to a conclusion. "
Who's bird-face?
I make myself sit up, but I have to lean against Newt to stay upright. He then shifts so that his arm is around me and he's sitting next to me. I lean into his warmth as the fever I have makes me shiver again. It's so cold.
" First we need to get these people some food. " Jorge addresses everyone, and I scan the small crowd of Cranks until I find Brenda. She's fairly close to us and staring at Minho. In fact, all the Cranks are. What did that idiot do this time? " I know it seems crazy to share our hard-earned grub with a bunch of strangers, but I think we could use their help. Give 'em pork and beans—I'm sick of that horse crap anyway. "
A couple of the Cranks snicker. Honestly, any food would be heavenly to them. That I'm sure of.
Jorge narrows his eyes at Minho. I notice the dried blood on his mouth. " Second, being the grand gentleman I am, I've decided not to kill the punk that attacked me. "
I groan. Minho, you freaking dumbass!
A few of the Cranks groan with disappointment. Well. At least Jorge isn't going to kill him. That's a good thing. I cast a glance at Minho as Jorge points at him. Not surprisingly, Minho smiles and waves at the crowd.
" Pretty happy are you? "Jorge says, " Good. That means you'll take the news well. "
" What news? " Minho snaps, using a voice I've only heard a couple of times when he was pissed at me.
" After we get you strangers fed so you don't go dying of starvation on us, you get to have your punishment for attacking me. "
Newt tightens his hold on me as if he thinks I'll pummel Jorge. I will if he even touches one hair on Minho's head. I don't care if Minho deserves it because he decided to be ignorant to the issue, I won't let Jorge hurt him.
" Oh yeah? " Minho crosses his arms over his chest, putting on a fake bravado. " And what's that gonna be? "
Jorge's face takes on a serene look. I can feel the tension in the air, so palpable I could probably take a knife and cut it. With one word from Jorge, those Cranks could attack us. One word, and we're dead.
" You punched me with both of your fists. So we're gonna cut a finger off of each hand. "
My stomach drops. " No. "I say, trying to make my voice seem strong. Every single person in here turns to face me, the sick girl clinging to a boy so she can sit up. I can see the distaste in his eyes.
" No? " Jorge repeats, narrowing his eyes at me.
I force myself to stand. Newt's arm falls from my shoulder and my legs shake, but I manage to stay on my feet. Some of the Cranks shift as I take a step towards Jorge.
" You lay one finger on that stupid shank's head, I'll slaughter you all. " I growl. It's a funny threat considering I can barely move.
Jorge draws his knife, the silver blade glinting with the last light of day that's shining through the holes in the ceiling. I take another wobbly step towards Jorge, but he simply laughs.
Next thing I know, he's striding forward and grabbing me by the wrist, pulling me into him. I immediately tense up as my cheek hits his shoulder. What the hell is Jorge doing? I didn't exactly know him, but I figured he would at least treat me with some respect.
Minho is on his feet and he started to charge towards Jorge and I, but Brenda puts a knife to his neck. It draws a drop of blood.
" Louisa, " He says and I feel his knife hovering above my neck. " Haven't you killed enough people? I know the guilt is eating you alive. "
His breath brushes my ear and I cringe away.
" You won't kill me. " I say, pushing the fear down deep inside me.
" Oh yeah? Why is that? " Jorge presses the knife into the side of my neck and I feel blood start to run down it. My hearts racing and I feel like I could break down and cry, but I don't.
" Death is a mercy for me. " I say, " You aren't a very merciful person. "
He pushes me away and I stumble then fall, cutting my hand on a piece of jagged glass that's on the ground. I grit my teeth together as I feel it embed into my skin.
" You're right. "
I pick my hand up and see it covered in blood. There's a small, dirty piece of glass in it, which I quickly pull out with a wince. Better to do that now than to let the glass dig further into my skin. The cut on my neck is slowly oozing blood and it stains my shirt. I really just want, for one second, not to be covered in blood.
" Here's the plan, " Jorge says as Newt picks me up. I almost protest because I don't want to seem weak, but the ground starts to move beneath me and I don't trust my steps to stay true. " Brenda and I will escort these moochers to the stash, let 'em eat up. Then we'll all meet on the tower, let's say one hour from now. "
Some of the Cranks protest, but Jorge silences them with one look. I sit down back next to the Familiars and go back to leaning against Newt. I hadn't meant to lash out and get myself hurt, but Jorge overstepped some boundaries. No one hurts or threatens the people I care about.
" Leave. " Jorge commands and every Crank obeys. They shuffle towards the other end of the room and out a door. Jorge looks visibly relieved as he shakes his head. Brenda takes her knife away from Minho's throat and wipes the blade on her pants.
" I really would've killed you, " She says, " Charge Jorge again and I'll sever an artery. I don't care what your relationship to Louisa is, or how heartbroken she'll be. "
Minho wipes at the small wound with his thumb and looks at the red smear. " What's the deal with you two and Louisa, anyway? "
Jorge and Brenda share a look. " We saved her life. Now she owes us. "
Huh? I suppose that's true but I wasn't informed of this.
" That would've been nice to know. " I mumble as I put my head on Newt's shoulder. Nothing surprises me anymore. I can't think about what I want or need, because surviving is the main goal right now. No drama, no romance, no nothing. There isn't any room for that bull crap. After I've survived I can think about that all I want.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything. If Frypan, Minho, Thomas and Clint are all immune, then how did they get the Flare? I can only assume that Janson lied to them. They don't really have the Flare. Taking a chance would be the worst thing I could do though. If I were to lead them away from the Scorch and towards Denver, they wouldn't get the cure if they needed it. Newt wouldn't get the cure.
I don't want to run right into WICKED's clutches again, but it's all we can do if we want to survive. We just have to endure.
" How, exactly, did you save her life? " Minho asks,crossing his arms over his chest. His fingers are kind of stuffed into his armpits and I resist the urge to chuckle. A feeble attempt at protecting them. If Jorge really wanted to chop his fingers off he would have done so by now, right?
Jorge's eyes shine with amusement as he conjures up an answer to Minho's questions. Newt is tense and curious, but all I want to do is sleep.
" We found her passed out on the side of a dune. Cranks were pretty close to eatin' her. Chased them away, brought her here, fed her and gave her water. " Jorge shrugs and looks over at Brenda with the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. What game are they playing?
" Why would you save Louisa? " Newt asks and I can't help but think the same thing. What reason do they have to help me? Was this all a part of WICKED's plan? Bring me close to death only to have Brenda and Jorge sweep in and save my life so I owe them and then they force me to do something? I have no clue. It's a waste of supplies to save someone like me.
Brenda doesn't look at the Familiars as she answers. Instead she looks at me, her eyes communicating her sorrows and worries and doubts. " I owed her brother a favor. He can consider his debt repaid. "
She has problems keeping her voice steady as the words claw themselves out of her throat. Noah is gone and there's nothing we can do except make the world the way he wanted it to be. And that's exactly what we're going to do.
I offer a small smile to Brenda as sorrow flashes across her face, feeling my heart ache. We both lost him. I'm surprised she's able to keep herself so composed in front of the Familiars when all she probably wants to do is fall to her knees, lay on the ground, curl into a ball, and cry. It's what I wanted to do. It's kind of what I still want to do.
" He'll consider it repaid if you keep me alive. " I say, the slight smile I had playing on my lips dissipating. She nods her head.
" Jorge didn't have any debt to him, so you still owe him. " Brenda says, putting a hand on her hip. I'm about to reply when Jorge interrupts us.
" Enough idle chit-chat, " Jorge says, turning and facing a door to our right, " We need to leave for the tunnels before the other Cranks get back. "
Those who were sitting stand, including me, although I have a little more trouble than everyone else. My legs shake and I can feel my every muscle screaming with exhaustion. I need to rest—to just sleep everything off or sit there and stare into space. When I try to walk my steps falter, further proving my point. Rest. Sleep.
Newt grabs my uninjured hand and puts his other in the small of my back, just below the cut Janson made. It steadies me, and despite everything, I still feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. A smile tugs at the corner of my lips.
" Thank you. " I say quietly, he smiles down at me as we follow Jorge through the door and down the dark hallway. Frypan, Clint, and Minho walk in front of us, Thomas and Brenda trail behind. I can hear their hushed voices and I glance over my shoulder and find Brenda smiling and Thomas blushing. What is Brenda thinking? She just lost Noah—someone she loved—and now she's flirting with my best friend's….person?
I shake my head and face the dark hallway again. It's none of my business what Brenda does. She's probably trying to bury it and forget about it, like I did when I found out Newt wasn't immune. It never helps. It just creates something for you to regret later.
There's a soft, orange light filtering in through an open door up ahead. It seems eerily bright in the darkness of this hallway, but I trust Jorge ( a mistake on my part, probably ) and hope that he won't lead us to our deaths.
I trip over something and start to fall, but before I can Newt catches me, his arm wrapping around my midsection. If his arm moved up one centimeter, just one tiny centimeter, he would be touching me there. The realization makes me flush even though we were completely willing to have sex just last week. Or has it been two weeks? With everything going on, I've lost track of time.
He steadies me and moves his arm down and away from my boobs. Is it bad that I was wondering what it would be like to have him touch me there?
I push the thoughts away. I'm dying and we're in the middle of the Scorch, and I'm wondering what it would feel like if Newt touched me. Pathetic.
What would it feel like if Minh—
No! Louisa, control your thoughts, I repeat this in my mind, implementing it there. At least, with all that's going on, I've retained my teenage hormones. Ha! I'd like to see WICKED try to figure out how to take that from me!
On second thought, no I wouldn't. Knowing them, they'd find a way and make life even more hellish than it already is.
Jorge disappears through the door and everyone follows. A sticky heat envelopes us in it's embrace but I shiver, feeling a cold sweat appear on my brow. My breathing becomes more shallow the further we walk. It's this damned infection. I can't do anything without suffering major consequences anymore. I wish we were back in the Maze.
We stay close to the side of the building we're walking next to, holding on to a little bit of shade. The sand of the Scorch seeps into my boots, making it feel like I'm walking on fire. I ignore the pain—all of it—and focus on staying on my feet. I'm still cold from the fever. It feels weird. Hot feet with a cold body.
We start to go downhill and my legs start to burn from the descent. I hope we get to where ever we're going soon.
Then I trip over my own feet.
Momentum makes me fall forward and right into Minho's back, my hand slipping from Newt's due to sweat. Minho and I fall and tumble down the dune, narrowly avoiding a surprised Frypan and Jorge. I let out a little squeal as we keep rolling and I can just barely make out the look of confusion on Minho's face in the blurs of the world.
Minho hits the bottom of the dune and I land on him, splayed out across him, my cheek resting on his shoulder. He groans and I sit up, rubbing my head. It hurts. My stomach is doing flips and I fear I might throw up, but I take a second to calm it and the feeling leaves. The lightheadedness doesn't.
I look down at Minho who's looking up at me, mild concern and a bit of amusement on his face. His hair…. It isn't perfect... There's sand in it, and it's kind of smushed down—not spiky like it normally is. He looks so different.
I laugh.
It makes every bone in my body ache, but I do it anyway. Perfect Minho's hair is messy for the first time ever. I push my hand through it, still laughing. Some sand falls out and it feels greasy.
" What? " Minho asks, his head turning to one side.
" Nothing. " I say, removing my hand from his hair and trying to kill my laughter. It doesn't work.
" What's going on down there? " I hear Jorge call from halfway up the sand dune. I look up at him and everyone else and see that they're halfway down.
" Nothing! " I yell and they don't ask anything else. Minho grabs my injured hand and I face him, ignoring the flare of pain that laces through my hand and up my arm.
" Why? " Minho asks, his eyes inspecting the cut, " Why would you do that? "
" You know why, Minho. " I say, feeling a bit exasperated. I'm drained, emotionally, physically. I don't need my heart to speed up when he looks at me like that. I don't want it to. I told him I loved him because I thought he was dying. It was instinctual.
" Don't do it again. "
" I'll do it if I feel like it. "
" I don't like seeing you hurt. "
Ignore the heart fluttering. " I don't like being hurt but if it saves your ass I'd do it again. "
I didn't really save his ass. I just kind of stood up for him. But I would do it again.
He rolls his eyes. " There's no stopping you, is there? "
I send him a pointed look. " I've already lost enough people. We both have. "
The laughing and carefree moment was good while it lasted. I wish Minho hadn't ruined it, but well, it seemed unlikely to last anyway. Maybe it's a good thing he snuffed it out before I could get too hopeful. It's not like he did it on purpose. He just wanted to make sure I knew he didn't want me sacrificing myself in any way to protect him. He could've chosen a better time to bring it up though.
" Exactly. Please. Don't do anything reckless, Louisa. " His eyes are pleading for me to agree with him, for me to say I won't risk anything. I can't do that. Not when I know I would do anything to protect this group of people that have become the only family I have left. I'll protect them the way I couldn't protect Noah. Everyone here will survive.
" I can't promise that. " I say, shaking my head and getting off of him. I was straddling him before, now that seems too intimate. I don't mind being close to Minho, but right now he's making mad. How can he ask me to promise something I know I'll fail at? I need to protect them. It's the only reason I'm still alive—the only reason I haven't ended my own life.
" You have to. "
" I can't. " I say with more emphasis. " The— "
I stop talking. He doesn't need to know everything.
Finally, the other Familiars along with Brenda and Jorge join us at the bottom of the sand dune. The sun has disappeared and the moon has risen, casting a silver light over everything. The building that's about ten feet to my right looks like a good place to rest, but Jorge doesn't stop. He keeps walking, past it and even further.
I'm forced to stand only to fall, landing face first into the sand. It's still hot from the day and it burns my already sunburnt face. The sand sticks to the mostly dried blood on my neck and hand, making everything feel grainy. I hate it. I hate myself for being so weak.
Minho picks me up as the others walk past, holding me close to his chest. I glance at Newt with a small apology then back at Minho. He's smiling down at me, a twinkle of pity in his eyes.
Weak. Useless. What would mom and dad say if they saw me like this? Giving up?
" Put… " I say but the word comes out a mere whisper. " Put me down. "
I sound weak saying it. I don't need someone carrying me. I don't want anyone to carry me. Why can't anyone understand this?
" I don't care if it's hurting your pride, Louisa, " Minho says quietly into my ear, " You can't walk. I won't let you injure yourself further. "
" Minho, " My heart is beating rapidly, probably due to the infection, " Please. "
He kisses the top of my head.
" Let me protect you. " He mumbles the words into my hair and I finally sag against him, laying my head on his shoulder.
For one of the first times ever, I let myself fall asleep, placing my life and trust in Minho's hands.
Honestly, it took me so long to get this out for two reasons. 1. I'm kind of trying to accomplish my reading goal for the year and I'm 8 books away. 2. I didn't like this chapter. Not one bit. It felt forced and awkward but I figured that was just me so I rewrote some of it, made it better and now I'm posting it. Let me know what you think.
CHAPTER 20 ALREADY? IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY LOUISA WAS BEING RAPED. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been here for this long. You all are awesome.
Again, I apologize for this chapter's poor quality. I took too long writing it and it just didn't flow. I tried to include a light Minhlo moment, but it turned into something else and I just kind of... ugh.
Louisa seems to sleep a lot. I guess doing what she's doing does make you tired. I'd sleep even more than she does tbh.
Ok, so plans for the next chapter. I plan on getting something that I've planned for a little while now in it. Minhlo, Lewt, hostility. It's shaping up to be pretty good. And possibly pretty long. I haven't decided if I wanted to include this other thing yet.
I have family things to do this weekend, again. Plus I have my reading goal. I'm so sorry if I don't get the other chapter up on time, ( which I'm hoping will be at least before next Wednesday. Hopefully before ) but you'll have to excuse me because Christmas is generally a very busy time for everyone.
I have a workout in the morning so I have to go to sleep. Have a good day, morning, afternoon, evening, night!