"Four of your finest double Jacks" I say, dragging Michelle to the bar. The barman nods and pours them quickly. I pay and hand Michelle two. "Bottoms up my favourite pain in the ass" I say, downing the first one. She groans and downs one of hers. As we put the glasses on the bar two more doubles appear. "Got a feeling you might be needing these" the barman says, nodding towards the stage. I frown and look over. "Holy. Fuck." I say. Dean has got the microphone again. He looks over at me as the music starts. I shake my head. "No" I whisper. "Don't fucking do this to me now Jon. I'm not strong enough for this Michelle." "Torrie" she says making me look at her. "What's wrong? What's he doing?" "Fucking with my head!" I yell. "He's fucking with my head and he's getting off on it! Fuck!" Roman and Seth are by my side straight away. "We had no idea Tor" Seth says. "He just decided he was gonna sing again..." I shrug him off and make my way to the front of the stage. Dean watches me the whole way. "How could you?" I mouth as he starts singing. He closes his eyes and I see the tear running down his cheek. He has me in tears by the time he starts the second verse.
"How many times do I have to tell you" he sings. "Even when you're crying you're beautiful too..." Yeah. He's singing the same song Jon Legend sang at our wedding. Talk about turning on the emotional tap. Michelle appears at my side and puts her arm around me. "Roman just told me" she says. "I gotta give it to him Tor, he's persistent. He's making you remember how good things were." I nod and look at her. "It's working" I admit. "I was so happy that day, Roman marrying us, Seth arranging Jon Legend as our wedding present, what a day. We were so freaking happy then. I just want that back Chelle, is that too much to ask for?" She smiles and shakes her head. "You gotta tell him" she says, watching as Dean hands the microphone back and gets off the stage. He walks straight past me and goes to the bar. I know he's downing Jack like it's going out of fashion. "I have a song" I say. She smiles and nods. "Go do it then" she says. I nod and walk up to the DJ. As we're talking I see Roman nudge Dean. He looks up quickly and stares at me. His eyes don't leave me at all. It takes a few minutes but the DJ finally finds the song I want. Dean frowns as the music starts. Roman and Seth look at each other and shrug. It's a song from back home. Ellie Goulding.
How long will I love you
As long as stars are above you
And longer, if I can.
How long will I need you?
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan.
How long will I be with you?
As long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand.
How long will I want you?
As long as you want me to
And longer by far.
How long will I hold you?
As long as your father told you,
As long as you can.
How long will I give to you?
As long as I live through you
However long you say.
How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer, if I may.
This time it's his turn to stand in front of the stage and cry. He doesn't even try to hide it. I give the microphone back to the DJ and run straight into the bathroom. I hear the door open as I close the door to the cubicle I'm in and slide down it to the floor. I can't stop the tears this time. The dam has well and truly burst. Coming out tonight was such a bad idea. This is all too raw still, for both of us. I rest my head on my knees and sob. I hear somebody in the cubicle next to me but I don't care. I finally get a grip on my emotions and look up, grabbing at the tissue so I can dry my eyes. When my vision clears I freeze. "How did you...?" I start. "Doll" he says. "I'm a wrestler. A fucking toilet wall isn't gonna stop me getting to you." I shake my head. "You can't be in here Jon" I say, standing up. He smirks. "Technically" he says. "Neither can you. There's an out of order sign on the door outside, nobody is meant to be in here." "It wasn't there when I came in" I frown. He looks at the floor. "I might have had something to do with it" he says, looking up at me. I shake my head and start to unlock the door. "Don't" he begs, covering my hand with his and pulling it off the lock. "Please. Don't run. Not again." "That was fucking low Jon" I say, turning to face him. He nods. "I'll do whatever it takes to get your attention Torrie" he says. "Get my attention?" I ask. "Jon, you have had my attention since day fucking one! When will you fucking realise it? I left my home for you! I do the job you love! I married you! I had a baby with you! It's all fucking you and you're driving me fucking crazy! I just wish that you would realise what's standing in front of you. Until you do, and until you realise that you don't need anyone else, then I just don't know where that leaves us. I'm sorry. I have to go." I start to open the door, and he puts his arm out, stopping me. "I know" he whispers. "Do you really think I don't fucking know doll? Do you think I don't know how much I fucked up? As for having your attention since day one, fucking ditto doll. When you came outside looking for me after you did that body shot off Orton, fuck, I fell in love with you there and then! I would have done absolutely anything for you from that moment. When you said you missed me, my heart skipped a beat. Because I missed you as soon as that beer bottle got slammed on the table and I turned my back on you. If I couldn't see you then you were too far away from me. I needed you by my side, constantly. I still do. I'm lost without you Tor. I'm nothing without you, a shell of a man. But I need you to realise that what happened the other day happened for a reason. Do you really think I'd risk losing you and Dessie for her? Again?" I shake my head. "Jon" I say. "I don't care. I don't care why you did it. All that's in my head is you did it. End of story." "No" he says, making me look at him. "I did it, yeah, I did it. But I did it for us! For you, and Dessie. She promised me Tor. One more kiss and she'd be out of our lives for good. That would be it. We nearly won Tor. And now she has. I kissed her so she'd leave us alone, you weren't meant to see, or find out. And now she's got what she wanted all along. Even with the kiss she's fucked my life up, and she's still there. This isn't going away. I believed her Tor. I really fucking believed her." He breaks down then. Sobs shake his body as he slides down the cubicle wall to the floor, hugging his knees and sobbing uncontrollably. "Jon" I whisper. He doesn't answer, doesn't even look at me. I sink to my knees and kneel in front of him. Still no reaction.
"Jon" I whisper again. He shakes his head but doesn't look up. I move his arms from around his knees and he straightens his legs out. He's too tall for this. I straddle his lap and he wraps his arms around me, putting his head on my shoulder. The sobs don't stop though. I wait for him to stop, tears streaming down my cheeks the whole time. Finally the sobs turn to sniffs and he looks up. "Doll" he whispers. I look at him and every doubt I had disappears. I believe him. I love him. "Ssshhh" I say, putting my finger on his lips. He kisses it softly and I moan. "Jon" I whisper as he pulls my head down to his and kisses me softly. My hands automatically go to his hair, holding on to him and not wanting to let him go. He's my Jon. And I love him.