A/N: This was literally one of my *all time favourite* episodes to write, it's always the heartbreaking ones that end up being the best ones to write! Having said that, I sincerely hope that you all enjoy Damon and Elena's version of events.

Dangerous Liaisons

"Forgive these words I'm yet to speak; I feel so ashamed
Right now you seem so far away
Devotion save me now,
I'm a slave unto the mercy of your love"

When I woke up this morning I had a message from Elena, two messages actually. The first one, from today, asking Stef and I to come over to her house, and one from last night letting me know that Ric was attacked and he's in the hospital. Elena had to kill him, which made me wish I had answered the damn phone when she called last night.

When Stefan and I get to her house she lets us know that Rebekah came after her at the hospital, and Elijah rescued her, really gonna have to thank the guy sometime soon.

"It was their mother Esther who was sealed in the coffin" say what now? "How's she even alive?" I thought Klaus killed her! "I dunno, I'm guessing she has a couple of connections in the witching community. Elijah said that she wants to live in peace with her family. Including Klaus" well isn't that just fucking fabulous?

As Stefan astutely points out, she was supposed to help us kill him, not come back and play mother of the fucking year!

"Anyone else feeling a little used right now?" Elena says that Elijah promised they wouldn't hurt any of us and of course she believes him. Why wouldn't she? She's Elena Gilbert, it's what she does! The doorbell rings and as she goes off to answer it I throw her a look that conveys my exasperation at her, kind-hearted, but misguided faith in Elijah.

Stef and I follow her out to the front door and when she turns around she's holding an envelope in her hand. "What is it?" I ask her, "It's an invitation. Please join the Mikaelson family this evening at 7 o' Clock, for dancing, cocktails and celebration" the 'Mikaelsons'? Well at least we know their full names now.

"It's not bad enough they're moving into town, now they want a housewarming gift?" – "Wait there's a note on the back: Elena, I think it's time that we finally meet. Esther" nope, nope, nope. Not. A. Chance. Not happening.

"If Esther wants to talk to me maybe I should find out why" of course, Little Miss Sacrificial Lamb over here would think that walking into the proverbial lion's den is the best course of action. "Well that's a dumb idea. She already tried to kill you once" ya know, just in case anyone's conveniently forgetting that.

"No, Elena's right. Bonnie was led to open that coffin for a reason. I think there's more to this than just some family reunion" oh my god, is he real?

"Can we go back in time to the old Stefan who cared if Elena lived or died?" – "What for, it's your job now" this is the same Stefan, who last night told me that he loves her...right? Because right this second he's doing a really bad job of showing it.

"Stefan has a point Damon" Elena says, breaking into my stare-off with my brother "I should find out what she wants" – "You can't protect yourself" I'll go.

"Okay fine then I'll go" oh no "you've pissed off enough Originals to last a lifetime. I'll go" I snatch the invitation from Elena. No more discussion. "End of story" she stays home where she is safe. I'll figure out what's going on with the Original witch bitch.

On the plus side, it does mean a chance to don one of my classic Armani's and I think I look pretty damn hot in a suit, if I do say so myself.

I have to admit, Klaus did a pretty good job on the house. I mean, he might suck at everything else, but interior decorating? He could have a solid future right there.

I spot Mrs. Mayor and wander over and give her a glass of champagne, "hangin' out with your new besties?" – "When the oldest, deadliest family of vampires move into your town; you welcome them, with a smile" uh-huh, if you say so Carol.

Oh look, here comes one of them now "Kol Mikaelson" – "Damon Salvatore, have we met?" the guy looks vaguely familiar, though I couldn't say why. "I've met a lot of people, and you don't particularly stand out" charming, maybe he just has one of those fac-

W-ow.

Oh. My. God.

Wow.

Where...? What...?

Please. Excuse me while I collect my jaw from the floor. And unscramble my brain. Brief pause.

Elena. Elena is here. Elena is here and I have never seen her look more beautiful. Literally took my breath away, and I don't even need to breathe.

She looks like she just stepped out of the pages of a fairy-tale and if it is at all possible I think I may have fallen even more hopelessly in love with her. Wow. I know she's not meant to be here but a very selfish part of me is very glad that she is; if only because I get to see her look like this.

Best. Dress. Ever.

"Excuse me Carol" oh great, I finally managed to find my voice and it didn't squeak like a boy who just hit puberty, good enough for me.

"Surprise surprise, nice tux" of course my brother would be here as well. "You're not supposed to be here" I say, turning to Elena. "Well I am, and I'm not leaving until I find out what Esther wants. So...shall we?" Stefan offers her his arm and I resign myself to the fact that she is here, and I'll just have to keep an eye on her, so I offer her my arm as well and we escort her into the party.

Oddly enough, this brings to mind Isobel's words to Elena, once upon many moons ago; "as long as you have a Salvatore on each arm; you're doomed" she said. Let's hope that ominous warning doesn't prove true tonight, it really would be a shame to ruin such a beautiful dress. Stupid Isobel, I really don't wanna think about such things right now.

Stefan and I move to hear Elijah's speech, "do you see who I see?" I ask my brother, "oh yeah" Esther. Mama Original Witchy. Elena tries to move her beautiful self towards the stairs to follow Esther but I'm in front of her before she can lift her dress to walk.

"Don't even think about it" – "She wants to see me alone Damon" yeah and why do you think that is?

"Well it sucks to be her then. Was I not clear this morning?" because I thought I made myself pretty crystal.

"I was invited" – "You have to tell me before you walk into a lion's den!" – "Why, so you can stop me?" uh, yes. Obviously. Stop you. Protect you. Keep you alive. Ladies choice.

O-kay, fighting is not working, and it really would be a shame to waste that dress so I decide to try a different angle. I hold my hand out to her "it would be rude not to dance you know" please dance with me.

She rolls her eyes at me but gives me a smile and her hand, "it is tradition" she says as she drops into a little curtsy. God. So. Beautiful.

"You look stunning. If it isn't obvious" which it is, to everyone in the room. Even 'stunning' doesn't begin to describe how she looks tonight, but it's the best word I've been able to come up with since she walked in. Gimme a few hours and a dictionary and that might change.

"Thank you" I'll tell you a thousand times a day if you'd let me.

Elena really is a very good dancer and it reminds me of our other dances, each one so difference from the other but this one? This is the first dance of choice. The first was a rescue. The second, a handover. This, the third. A choice. Elena's choice to dance with me tonight. That makes it all the sweeter.

We don't speak anymore after that; it's just Elena, me, the music and the dance.

It's her hand in mine. It's my hand on her waist. It's the heat, the electricity in the air that surrounds us. It's the sparkle in her eyes that is such a rare sight these days. It's those eyes locked on mine. Never wavering. And it's that sweet, beatific smile that doesn't fade, that is all mine.

And all too soon it's over and I have to give her up. I have to give her back. Because of course her new dance partner would be Stefan, but that's okay because that dance makes it worthwhile. And let's face it; I'm a much better dancer than my brother.

Somehow I end up getting partnered with Barbie Klaus who proceeds to tell me that Klaus gave Caroline everything she's wearing, what's going on there? Blondie does look pretty good though, 'course she couldn't hold a candle to Elena's beauty.

"Where is Elena?" Stefan appears to be suspiciously absent as well. Where'd they go? Elena sends me a message asking me to meet her in the library, "I got your text, what are we doing in here?"

Darkness.

Mm. Ouch. Huh? Fuckery!

"Where's Elena?" – "Exactly where she belongs; talking to Esther" no Stefan!

"What did you do?" – "No don't blame me; this was all her. Right down to the broken neck. You know maybe you should stop being such a controlling dick, Damon" are you fucking kidding me right now? "Oh hang on, I'm the problem here?" I'm only trying to keep her alive.

"You're a liability brother" A liabi- "I'm trying to keep her alive Stefan" – "Yeah well your emotions are getting in the way of our plan" – "M...m...my emotions? How is this even happening right now?" did I get my neck snapped and wake up in some weird as fuck alternate universe?

"Maybe because you care too damn much" that's...I don't even...Elena. I need to find Elena. Now. Snap her pretty little neck! Not really. Obviously. How could she be so stupid? Doesn't she understand? She can't just go running off, putting herself in danger all the time!

We've been through all of this already remember? She's supposed to fight. I thought we were past all of this 'dying for the cause' bullshit. Only this time there's not even a cause to die for.

"Elena, did you get what you wanted" –"Actually yes" great, I give her her scarf and grab her arm "tell me on the ride home, we're leaving" – "No Damon, let go of me" okay. Breathe Damon. Calm. I let her go.

"Look, I'm sorry that I had to uh, cut you out of the plan" There shouldn't have been a plan in the first place! "You shouldn't be here" – "Do you think I like going behind your back?" well you do it frequently enough sweetheart. Only now you've apparently gone a step further and added killing me as a caveat.

"I don't but if I hadn't asked Stefan for help then you would have tried to be the hero and you would've ruined everything" – "Sorry for trying to keep you alive. Clearly Stefan doesn't give a crap anymore" and for his part he'll be getting his ass kicked later as well.

"Now you're mad at me for including Stefan?" what? "No. I'm mad at you because I love you"

Shit! Shit. I should not have said that. God damn me and my big mouth. I mean, it's not like she doesn't know, it's just that...I don't exactly go around saying it out loud all that often. But I guess tonight is the night of 'threes'. Third dance. Third time I said I love you.

"Well, maybe that's the problem"

Uuh. Oh. Um, ouch. Wow, that hurts a whole lot more than getting my neck snapped did, and in an entirely different place.

"No...That's not what I-" oh save it Elena, I got it, "I care too much. I'm a liability. How ironic is that?"

So ironic.

I've become the brother who loves you too much.

Fine.

Go be with the brother who doesn't fucking love you enough.

God that sounded bitter, didn't it?

"Have you guys seen Matt?" again, really? Why can't people use their eyes around this place and acknowledge two people in the middle of a meltdown? And no, Blondie, I have not seen Matt.

Actually, for a change the interruption works in my favour. I need to get away from Elena before she does any further damage. Let Stefan take her home.

I go to find Matt; he's having his hand crushed by Kol. "Hey, hey, hey, easy on the hand; guys a quarterback" and he's Elena's friend, I might be pissed as holy hell at her right now but the guys on my list which means people don't screw with him.

I throw Kol over the balcony railing and leap down after him and snap his neck. One temporarily dead Original, Damon Salvatore, at your service.

"Damon" oh brother. "What are you crazy?"

Elena.

"Maybe a little. Far be it from me to cause a problem"

Screw. All of you.

She's right, actually. In a very wrong, weird and twisted way. My love for her is a problem. Elena Gilbert is the biggest fucking problem I've ever had in my damn life; alive or otherwise. And sometimes, I wish, god sometimes I wish I could hate her. Or at the very least not love her like this.

Not care so damn much. It would be easier, so much easier to be indifferent, to feel less than I do. It shouldn't be possible for a man to love a woman as much as I love her and yet, there it is. It's overwhelming, it's overpowering, it's uncontrollable and uncontainable and it's not going to stop. It's not going to change.

But that's not even the problem.

No the problem is that it's lonely. My love; is alone. My love is unrequited, and hell yeah I've been there before, I wrote the fucking book on unrequited love, I was there for 145 fucking years but never like this.

Having her so close, touching distance, breathing distance, kissing distance. And I want. So badly, I want and have wanted for so fucking long and I taste but I can never have. And I see; when I close my eyes, she's there, dancing behind them and I can't keep.

And that's the problem. The real problem. That's my problem. I will never love anyone that's not Elena Gilbert and I can't have her. I can't keep her. She doesn't belong to me and she probably never will. But god knows that she should.

I need to drown in alcohol now. Maybe a bathtub full of it. Nah, the Grill will do, Matt can give me a bottle for free to start me off; I did save his life after all.

What. A. Night.

I've been thinking more about those words that beat 'stunning' and I've come up with a few; magnificent? Glorious? Incandescent? Divine? Delectable? Resplendent? Dazzling? Any of those doin' it for ya?

I think I like incandescent best, although honestly any one of them would fit. Yep, it's been a shit night but that doesn't take away from how incredible she looked and how amazing it felt to dance with her. How right she feels in my arms.

I need to forget. At least for one night, otherwise I'll just go home and dream about her all night and I really don't want that tonight.

Barbie Klaus comes in to the Grill and gets knocked back by Matt. Ye-ep she'll do. A little hate-sex, a little revenge-sex never hurt anybody, right?

Dear Diary,
Tonight the Original family held a ball. I was invited and I went, even though I was supposed to stay home, I went because Esther wanted to meet me. And I made a huge mistake.

In fact, I think I might have made two huge mistakes. But let me start at the beginning.

When I walked into the house, the first person I saw was Damon, he looked so handsome, and when he saw me? It left me breathless, the way he looked at me. His eyes lit up like all of his dreams had come true at once, even though I wasn't meant to be there and he made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

Then he asked me to dance and we did and it was, incredible. He told me that I looked 'stunning' and then there were no more words. It was just me, dancing with Damon, as if we were in our own little world and I was safe, and protected and cherished in Damon's arms. And for a few minutes, everything was right in the world.

But I knew that I had to talk to Esther, that we had to find out what she wanted, we needed to get information so I danced with Stefan briefly and then I asked him to...I asked him to snap Damon's neck. So that I would be able to get to Esther. And I did, get to Esther.

She took some of my blood, so that she could 'link' her children together. Klaus can't be killed, not alone, so by linking them together, she's made it so that if one dies, they all die. And I think that might have been my first mistake. She's going to kill all of her children. Including Elijah, and that feels wrong. It was only supposed to be Klaus.

And then Damon found me, Damon who is always so patient with me, Damon who doesn't try and force me into confronting things I'm not ready to face. Damon who wants to protect me. Damon who loves me.

And then there's me. The stupid little girl who throws that love back in his face.

Damon said he was mad at me because he loves me, and I said that maybe that was the problem.

The second I said it I realised what I'd said, and how it must have sounded and I regretted it but there was no way to take it back because Damon became the 'other' Damon. The one who doesn't let me in. The one who shuts it all down when he gets hurt. The one who makes rash decisions and lashes out.

The thing is, I don't even know how I would have explained myself if I had tried to because even though I didn't mean what I said in the way Damon thinks I did, I did mean it. It is a problem. It's a problem for me because it's my fault and I want to make it better but I can't. I can't give him what he needs from me.

I don't deserve his love, his devotion, his single-handed dedication to me; all it ever does is cause problems for him. For his relationship with Stefan. All I ever seem to do is hurt him, I don't deserve him and I don't deserve to be loved like that, in the way that he loves me.

And yet...I'm so selfish because I can't bear the thought of him ever loving someone else. I can't bear the thought of someone else being his; of someone else belonging to him.

I love the way he loves me, I hate the way he loves me and it's just causing problems all over the place because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do about it and I'm so confused.

Stefan drove me home and he asked me why Damon went after Kol, Damon snapped his neck, I told Stefan it was just Damon being self-destructive, but it was my fault really, because of what I said. I tried to get Stefan to open up to me, to stop pretending that he doesn't feel anything, to stop pretending that he doesn't care and he said that if he lets himself care then all he feels is pain.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do about either Stefan or Damon anymore. But I know that I probably should have just stayed home tonight like I was supposed to.
Elena